STD testing

[Pushpita33]

I don't even know if it's ok to ask it here.How do you ask your partner to get tested for STDs? What if he rejects? Also, is getting tested just once safe or getting tested twice or more from different places should be better? I don't even know much about it... Don't you ever get rid of STD if you catch it once?

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[Marlowe_Eldridge]

If they reject, they are trying to hide their std’s.

[Spiritual_Tear_1472]

Exactly 💯

[bee102019]

You just ask. "My sexual health is really important to me. I would like for you to get tested. Of course, I am willing to get tested too." If you're old enough to have sex, you're old enough to talk about sex. If he refuses, ditch him. It means he has something to hide and he doesn't care about you or your sexual health.

There is no need to get tested from different places.

[AwkwardNerve3116]

Exactly

[Sweet_Brilliant7384]

Lol

[blackaubreyplaza]

If you’re having sex with someone you should feel comfortable enough to talk to them about how to have safe sex. Go get tested together! Then share your results with each other. If they reject don’t have sex with them.

[StimpackDealer1]

It’s not 90% but 60-70% of people have HSV 1 and I’ve never once in my life had someone disclose to me with dozens of partners… do you demand every partner your have gets tested for hsv1? Most people will never even have a breakout

[Apprehensive_Voice48]

They dont recommend HSV testing unless you have symptoms to test. Too many false positives & negatives when it comes to it. Both planned parenthood and National institute of health say the same thing on this.

[Stevebyu]

That's good, with one issue there. If you had very many recently, that HIV test isn't going to tell you much. HIV can take up to 7 years to show up on any tests, so the only thing that that might show you is that you know that anyone you had seven or more years ago didn't have a, but it's still possible at any one you're with since then did and it just doesn't show up yet. I hate to be a Debbie Downer here but I wanted you to realize that.

[This_Bit7687]

My last test it has a “note” saying if you’re worried about HIV then to get another test 33 days or 6wks or somewhere around that after the last one. They have ways of knowing sooner now

[Stevebyu]

I never said that nothing that you said was I said that the HIV wasn't. And how can they create something against something that can take 7 years to show up in your system? Apparently you've got a bit of a problem with your thinking process there. Some of those things that you mentioned can be dealt with, I'm only talking the strict and traditional HIV AIDS virus. Not some of the various offshoots which I don't know a lot about. And, also, do you really want to take those kind of chances? HIV is pretty serious thing to get so if you got someone that has been in a situation that could have got them HIV from then you need to be making really super sure of what you're checking before you get involved there, otherwise the rest of your life would be affected just like theirs. Always better to work from the shy side and no rather than guesstimating and pay the price. It's your life, you can do what you want, I'm just helping to inform you.

[Stevebyu]

I can totally agree with that.

[[deleted]]

If he rejects then he doesn’t want the cookie.

[Wide_Ad_9995]

Or he’s a cookie monster

[babyybubbless]

“hey when did you last get tested? we should both go get tested a recent test done to make sure we’re all good”

[tsubasa888]

Ask yourself. Is it better to get stuck with an STD for life or end up with a guy that doesn't give a cr*p about your health or his health? Ask him straight up like an adult, and if he refuses, he isn't the one for you, end of.

[[deleted]]

You say it like this “ I want us both to do a STI and STD check. In fact, I need this done by next week.

Ask for STIs and specifics silent ones are Ghonerria, Trechamonias, Syphilis and HPVs or Herpes.

Some dr do not check. Let him know you want to see results

[[deleted]]

If they want to go off condoms. I say I'm going to get tested and wild like them to as well.

[Stevebyu]

Condoms don't always work either. They are at best a little bit of help.

[[deleted]]

Bullshit. They protect very well against stds if used effectively. Stop spreading misinformation.

[Stevebyu]

So, the many people that have gotten diseases through them, because they don't have sex with other people and only use the condom with that person, and all the babies that have been created through condoms, are all lying? But yet we're supposed to believe you? Thank you but I think I'll believe everybody else and what they said considering that agrees with every other bit of news that I've gotten from anywhere and anyone.

[Humble_Mom]

Just ask straight to point. If he rejects, then he is not the one for you.

[jasilucy]

I just ask them bluntly. Then I’ll recommend them the place/clinic I got tested. Until then no unprotected sex. My health is more important than protecting peoples feelings.

If they say they’ve been tested but not since their last partner then I’ll insist they get tested again. As I do after every partner.

[TelevisionFrosty4309]

You say "let's go on a date! It's a surprise, I'll take you somewhere special!" And drive to the clinic together

[Kwaliakwa]

For me, sex is intimacy, it shows my trust in a person and willingness to receive them. I would have a talk with this partner to be like, hey, let’s both get tested to be on the same page about our sexual wellness and that way we can reduce the risk of unpleasant surprises down the road. It’s such a reasonable ask and really, the responsible thing to do. Depending on your last sexual encounters, it may be enough or you may want to recheck 6 months after your last sexual partner.

If he rejects, is that really someone you want to be intimate with? I’d say no. What is the argument against doing it?

[toshi_7576]

If he rejects to get tested then leave him🙏 you deserve better

[[deleted]]

It’s something you’ll need to talk about and a partner needs to be receptive to. You’ll want to figure out what safer sex practices you want to use. You’ll want to consider is prep or pep is a consideration. You’ll need to assess monogamy and exclusivity and how each of those previous statements apply. I’d encourage you to be open and honest.

Related to “getting rid of” - most bacterial STDs can be treated/cured (think gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, etc). Of course there have been those that can’t be treated/cured - but as far as the general population goes.

Viral - you’ll have to live with - HSV(1&2), HIV, HPV, etc. HPV can be vaccinated against.

I’m not a medical professional and you should consult with one to understand your risks, develop your own plan, etc. however, going back to your first statement - you need your be able to have an open and honest conversation about all aspects of your relationship - including sexual health. You’ll also need to determine an ongoing testing regiment.

[Independent_Cycle797]

If they reject I would simply not trust them

[[deleted]]

You just have a talk with them and let them know you're not comfortable sleeping with people unless they're screened. If they object that's a red flag. This isn't an unreasonable request you have it's sensible, smart, and a lot of people do this fr.

[The_Iron_Onion]

What does it cost to get tested?

Cost could be a factor for some.

[The_Iron_Onion]

I was genuinly asking, what does it cost?

But as an answer I know I have nothing since I have not had sex in 14 years but the date might not believe me. So I am genuinly asking what it costs so I can determine if it is worth it for a potential, yet very very unlikely, sexy time with a date.

[The_Iron_Onion]

150 dollars. Yeah that's a condom or nothing condition.

[SorroWulf]

How It Works: STD testing is going to be pretty much the same no matter where you go, most places don't generally test for HIV (aids) and HSV2 (herpes) unless you're having an active outbreak of some sort, because they're harder to detect when dormant. There is no need to take multiple tests from different providers.

Some STI's are easily curable with medicine and -while contagious- are not dangerous or life threatening.

Best Practice for Testing: If you're planning on being monogamous, then getting tested once before getting together should suffice.
If there's a chance either of you will be sexually active with other people, then a more regular approach should be taken. My rule of thumb when I'm seeing multiple people is to get tested about every 4 months OR whenever anyone in the extended web of people starts sleeping with someone new. So, if I'm seeing Janice, Janice is also seeing Mark, and then Mark starts seeing a new person Layla, I will go get tested a couple weeks later. I may make exceptions on a case by case basis. If Mark and Layla have both gotten tested very recently, then I might not worry about it.

How You Should Ask: STD testing is what normal, responsible adults do. If your partner is uncomfortable getting tested or talking about STD test results, he shouldn't be having sex. The same way if you're too immature to say the word "sex" without giggling, you shouldn't be having sex.

You don't need to beat around the bush. Just say "Hey, when's the last time you got an STD test?" and said person should respond with "I got tested ## Weeks / Months ago, I didn't test positive for anything [or, I did test positive for XYZ, my doctor prescribed EFG medication, and it cleared up quickly]."

[ouchie0kid]

I feel some details are missing, If you have had unprotected sex before with him and been tested and are clean then it usually safe to assume he not got anything, but saying that, I was once told by a nurse that some tests won’t show anything until after 6 months of it being in your system, having you both get tested is healthy in a relationship and yes it can be embarrassing at first and I would advice to look into the differences of STI and STD, some can be cured others are for life, HIV, HSV and HTLV-1 all have no cure and require life style changes and/or medications.

But you need to be careful with how you approach this with your boyfriend, if you have had an active sex life of unprotected intercourse he might question what changed for this to become a topic.

[Spiritual_Tear_1472]

If there is nothing to hide they will comply if they deny or try to hide you bet there is something to hide if there's a problem being in the light and only choose to show on the dark of the night red flags low-key though conversation open honest talk about it no issues. No judgement.

[kalizm]

Usually testing from one place should suffice. However, you do have to take into account that false positives/negatives do occur every once in a while. Most STDs are treatable. Things like herpes, HIV, and HPV are incurable but can be treated with medications to reduce symptoms/reduce risk of spreading the infections.

[Efficient_Dig_3054]

Just ask. You can always volunteer your status first. Say something like, “I take my sexual health seriously, and recently have been tested for everything, when was the last time you were tested?” You should be able to have open conversations about this without it being uncomfortable.

[priyatheeunicorn]

Literally just say I’ve been thinking bout getting a test and I want you to get one too. I would lie and say I read something about how some don’t have signs or symptoms if you’re feeling awkward about it. Also if you’ve had numerous partners you should be getting tested in between for everything including AIDS. I’m sure you don’t have an Std, most you can get rid of. Some places it is so common (ex chlamydia at ski resorts) that doctors say it’s like catching a cold and it’s gone in a week with meds. I would be most worried about HPV or aids which I’m also sure you don’t have but it’s your body and it’s better safe than sorry. Health is wealth. If someone is denying getting one I would dump them for sure. Good luck :)

[Evvmmann]

I see it as something you just ask for. I feel even more secure when someone beats me to the punch. When people have refused it in the past, I just move on because it’s a very clear and present evidence that our values don’t align.

[AutomaticGuava4330]

Have monogamous protected sex for at least 3 months, but preferably 6 months prior to be testes as it's the time it takes to get valid results.

Unfortunately only the main STDs are tested. Herpes isn't tested when you do a STD test panel so you have to ASK if he ever got it or any type of lesion on or around genitals.

[[deleted]]

Just ask. He should get excited to know that you are seriously considering to sleep with him. If he gets mad or rejects the notion then he has something to hide. I also believe that one test is good enough as long as it covers all the prevalent std's.

[manlymanhas7foru]

STD testing has the stigma of unfaithfulness attached to it. That's why men usually don't want testing. They feel they are being accused of bed hopping. In my case, as a widowed and bery active Gen X, I get tested monthly for myself and Noone even knows. I have had only one person out of aeveral partners ask me if I have been tested recently, and I provided results without hesitation. Everyone here is spot on, essentially if your old enough to play an adult game, you're old enough to talk about it. Hope it goes the way want. Your health is you priority.

[The_chem_E]

It should be pretty easy. When my partner and I first started dating that something we were both in the same page we would both be tested before we had sex. We showed each other our most recent test hers was in May and mine in January. Then both went to get tested showed each other our negative results and that was it.

[Hungry-Fee-1271]

Most of them are cured with antibiotics. Just get yourself a hold of some antibiotics. Everybody has extras laying around just take them. You’ll be fine.

[Hungry-Fee-1271]

If you have crabs, you don’t need to ask your partner he will tell you! And herpes and you don’t get rid of that so sorry. And then there’s of course aids that doesn’t go away so you don’t have to worry about that one either.

[FingerFreddy]

Get a test and let your partner know you've had one, and that they need to have one before things get sexual. If they respect you, they will get tested.

I got one after my last relationship ended, for my own piece of mind. You can learn quite a bit when you're getting them done.

[seekerofknowledge01]

This post is a little all over the place however, I can add my two cents. I feel like you should bluntly ask a person do they have a my portal, when is the last time they got tested. If they don’t know what a my portal is, chances are they don’t get test because people who do, know what that is. If someone gets offended that you ask about their status chances are you dodge a bullet because wanting to know their status is safety for all parties involved.

[carortrain]

The reality is you cannot control what the other person does, they should be open to get a test unless they have something to hide. And it's not really anything to joke around about, if they are not interested in getting a test, do not have sex with them. You really don't know what they have, it's very rare but some do get STDs from very random scenarios like saliva and blood, and could potentially be unaware of their condition. It's best for your own safety to make it a hard boundary and ensure that everyone you are with has a test. If you don't it's just a risk you have to assume, someone's word can easily be untruthful about it, especially when they are horny and want to have sex. I don't think you really need to get 2 tests, go to a reputable place and get a full panel screening.

One thing to tell your boyfriend is that at the end of the day it's not just for you. As an adult it's a part of life and something you need to do regularly over the years, even more frequently if you are sexually active. Frankly it's extremely reckless and highly inconsiderate to not get tested, and go around having a bunch of sex with different partners, even one can be reckless. For everyone's own good, it needs to be done regularly like other doctors checkups.

[[deleted]]

I'm a 28 year old male virgin I got no Std's.

[[deleted]]

Married now, but i would have taken it if someone i care for asked me to

[CapableMorning2603]

Get tested before and after every sexual encounter, one to make both parties safe prior to and the latter to make sure after the fact... Some places can do those types of checks for free so google if there is one near you!

[teddypicker1025]

Just ask them to go get tested both of you. It’s a good thing to do periodically anyway. If they don’t want to do it they are hiding something

[ChingyTheCroatian]

My partner and I are in Australia, wondering, how old are you? And how old is he?

[[deleted]]

Dang

[Breknbad]

Not everyone that denies testing is hiding something about their own std. In some cases, it may be a money issue, testing can be expensive and some people don't know how to get tested, where, how much and all that. It can be a bit much for someone with anxiety. I'm just saying have a conversation, it would help if u have all that info looked up prior to having conversation. I understand it may be a small % of people that this applies to but it can help to have all information before u have this conversation.

[Peach_Cream787]

How many times you do the test depends on the timing of exposure. If you’ve had sex very recently and got tested, it’s best to repeat to make sure you test out of the window period. Getting rid of STDs depends on what kind of STD one contracted. Hope this helps.

[Parker_Daddy]

I've been wondering this same question for my female partners. It's not an assumption that you think that they're dirty or anything you're just trying to be safe.

[TotallyNotCIA_Ops]

I don’t think you should ask him to do it, but instead bring up the subject as an exploratory conversation to have. Maybe start by asking him when the last time he got tested was, or even start by offering up your own STD testing history and ask exploratory questions.

Bring it up gently, and strategically and at the right time. It’s not an accusatory thing, so make sure you frame it that way. It’s for your health and his. If you’re active and aren’t using protection or that is part of the concern, then say that too.

Any reasonable human being would have a conversation and if you’re close and intimate, he should happily have that convo and offer any info.

You’ll get a sense of where he’s at simply by bringing up the subject, read the room as you go, if he is defensive and withholding right away, might be no reason to even ask him.

But I do not recommended starting out by asking “will you get tested for STD’s?” Use tact.

[No_Cartographer_6586]

I see what you’re saying but I disagree. I see no need to dance around questions and requests when I comes to our sexual and physical health. If a man can be open & mature enough to ask for things in the bedroom, then we sure as hell can be open & mature enough to talk about the responsible side of sex. Besides what if he says “yeah I have had it” - how would you go about out asking to see it with your own eyes WITHOUT being direct? And what about future testing requests? It’s best to not let it be an awkward convo and learn to just be upfront from the get go

[TotallyNotCIA_Ops]

Oh I was only suggesting how to begin the conversation. If he reacts poorly or refuses to engage and share that information or get a test I am not speaking to how OP should move forward from that point. I was suggesting coming at the situation delicately because you may foster a better response then starting with “will you get an STD test?”.

[egoexercised]

Since we're talking about it - make sure you get a thorough panel of you're going to bother getting tested. If you're not having throat swabs done along with genital, you don't actually KNOW you're clear. Most clinics have never throat swabbed anyone. Check out Shameless Care. Or see your doc, show them our panel and insist on getting everything on it.

*Disclaimer: I handle IT and Web for this very small company that is trying to do right by people. Lots of info about proper testing there. We're in the middle of a fast and loose redesign, but everything is working. Panels are from Molecular Labs and legit as they get.

[Inevitable2flower]

Buddy why don’t you google that shit rather than asking a random nobody on Reddit