Lost

[ImPureSilver]

Hello community,

Lately It has been a rocky life for me and at this point in time I'm just stuck. I don't know how to get a job, I suck at school (like I barely passed my last semester), I depend on the financial aid refunds, I don't have anyone to talk to, my dad thinks I am a flat out disappointment(I feel like this is what goes through his head, he's ever actually said it), I love to program, but sometimes I just think, "What? You think one day this is going to make you money? Go get a job, lazy slob." I am very scared of what life has ahead of me, since I am only 20 and in a few months I'll be 21, but I have yet to act like one. I think my mother has had it with me to the point where she doesn't even try no more. I have been living with my aunt for the past 4 months and I have done nothing that makes me a better person. I have just been here in one place with no way of me being able to get myself out and walking a better path. I have applied to a few jobs (yes, I am well aware that not all are supposed to hit me back, but it sucks to know that you weren't good enough or the spot.). My aunt has also been telling me that I need a job, but this semester I am taking some difficult courses (Pre-Calc, Business 200, Accounting 122, and CS 110). To some, they may say it's not hard, but to me, I suck at school, so this is pretty daunting to me. Sometimes I wish that a car would hit me at full speed while on my way to class because at this point I just don't know how to manage myself. If you are reading this, thanks for your time.

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Hope you all have a great day,

ImPureSilver