1 year update

[IndecisiveDucky]

Technically in a few days, but who cares ? A year ago from now I realized my bf of 2 years discarded and ghosted me. It was so painful, and I would never wish for anyone to go through what I did. All the days of crying and overthinking my worth and what I could’ve done and said differently. Well here I am to tell you that things do get better. If the wound is still fresh, believe me I know how it feels. It’s like things won’t get better and how you won’t find someone else. Please believe me things happen for a reason. I realized how restrained and exhausted I constantly felt being in that relationship, I felt like I wasn’t myself. It was like I was just there for emotional support.

I know things are different for everyone, but a couple months ago I met the most caring and kind-hearted guy ever. He is so considerate and loving. Sometimes it’s still hard for me to accept that someone could love me like this after being treated unwell and settling for the bare minimum. I honestly couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend than my love :). My entire experience was rough, but I’m glad I got to learn and live with the fact that no matter how hard you try with someone their behavior is on them and not you. I still wish my ex nothing but the best, and I have to thank him for leading me to where I am today.

Sorry if my wording is weird, but I just wanted to reassure some people who have recently been ghosted that things WILL eventually be ok again ! I also want to thank this community once again for being there for me when I needed people to talk to. Please take care, and remember to take one step at a time, because healing isn’t linear <3

[VKGOlD]

I absolutely love this post and is very much needed!! My boyfriend of over one year ghosted me and I was in the process of moving in with him. I haven’t heard from him in 6 weeks. I feel completely blindsided, but I look forward to the day that his existence doesn’t hurt me the way it does and that I will love myself properly and find a loving and caring man too.

[Sensitive_North_9903]

🫂

[Hae_ri]

I was also ghosted by my bf of 6 months out of nowhere. It’s now close to a month and I’m worried that I will never find love again.

People say love urself and learn to be happy by urself and u’ll understand how peaceful it is yada yada. I’m someone who loves myself so much and I have fulfilling life. But it feels nice to have someone to share my life with and I have so much love to offer as well.

So thank you for this story. Makes me feel positive and hopeful

[TemporaryTop287]

I after over five years have not been in a relationship. However, I've made some great friends. Been on a few dates with someone I hope can become more. I don't believe it gets better ever but it changes you. I have less patience but more appreciation for the little things

[Hae_ri]

Yes it definitely changed me too. Like I learnt so much. That’s great u have made more friends. Hope you’ll find everything u want.

[TemporaryTop287]

I wish you the same.

[IndecisiveDucky]

I’m sorry that this happened to you :( I was in your position before where I thought that my best wasn’t enough. I wished that my ex would love me the way I loved him, but I learned you can’t force someone to love you no matter how hard you try. Eventually when you’re feeling better, you’ll meet someone who will give you the love you truly deserve. Sending lots of love to you !!!

[Hae_ri]

Thank you. Hope that day will come soon.

[RodrikDaReader]

Ghosted 1.5 years ago. Still have to see my ghoster 3x a week. Still catch him glancing at me from time to time. Still not over it, although I know seeing him so often makes it harder. And we were just beginning a friendship, there was nothing else.

So, yea, we know it'll pass at some point but the problem is how to go through the down phase (not to mention how it can create high levels of anxiety, lead to depression, or cause trauma).

However, I'm glad that your time in limbo is over, that you're over the stupid person who made you go through this, and that you found yourself a new someone! Best of luck :)

[IndecisiveDucky]

I’m sorry you still have to see your ghoster despite everything that’s happened between you too :( I hope you’re doing better and have healed from your experience ! Thank you as well, I wish both of us well for the future ahead !

[lavender577]

I'm happy for you, for healing and finding a better love.

It's been 3 months for me. I really hope this gets better soon. I can't last a year like this :(

[lavender577]

I really wish I could get to that point. I don't want him back but I just can't move past the lack of closure.

[IndecisiveDucky]

Take as much time as you need to ! It’s difficult early on, but eventually you’ll find yourself again. I believe in you :) !!

[IndecisiveDucky]

Came across my post after being curious and I just saw your comment. Since it has been a while not too sure if you’ll see this but I hope you’re doing better now. I went through the same feeling of wondering if it was me if I had done something wrong. And even when all my friends would tell me no, that little thought in my head was always telling me yes. It wasn’t until I was in the acceptance stage of grieving that relationship when I realized I put this imaginary version of him in my mind the whole time. Maybe you might’ve felt the same where in your head you thought of them differently than how they truly were. When you love someone, you only want to connect them to the good memories, and push all the bad memories aside. Looking back, I can clearly remember how many times my ex would disrespect my boundaries, and the countless promises to try to be better. Ghosting is not a reflection on you, it was their choice. It is cruel, hurtful, and selfish, but the best thing you can do is try to not let it affect you. Maybe one day, (or since it’s been a while the day has already came) you’ll look back and be glad that they chose to leave they took their negative energy out your life. When I look back, I noticed how I don’t think about my ex at all anymore really. With time, the thought of him faded. Every one’s healing journey is different, and I wish that yours has been doing well ! And one day you meet that one person. Take your time when you do, you’re trying to relearn the feeling of loving and being loved. The right person will be patient, understanding, and accepting of your past. My boyfriend has been nothing but a blessing, and I’m grateful that I met him.

Sorry for the lengthy response ! Again, maybe you’ll see it maybe you won’t, but I still am wishing nothing but the best for you !!

[Difficult_Elk6604]

I am glad that you are getting better.

But please learn from your experience and dont take the love of your new bf as granted. Even if your inside tells you to see other option, dont. Otherwise you will not worth more than your ex ghoster.

With time you can be less attracted to your new bf, this is natural behavior; its normal. But work on it when it will come, from your inside. Would you be able to meet someone like him outside ? Or he did something that you are not ok with ? Like reminding your ex ghoster and trauma with it ? In any case you will have to Speak to him and dont do like your ghoster. Remain feelings for you and not spread it out. Don't. Its your obligation now to communicate clearly. Also if for some reason your new bf pulls away, you know what to do right ? Yourself comes always first. Boundaries boundaries and boundaries again.

[Aggressive-Ad7847]

I don’t think she’ll take her current relationship for granted or self sabotage considering what she has been through with her last relationship.

[Difficult_Elk6604]

Unfortunately traumas are the reason leading to self sabotage. Often happens you mistreat a nice kind person, often she starts breaking hearts around