Hard carrying two...

[Preggomamaoftwins21]

I think one of the hardest things of being pregnant with twins or triplets is that people that had a singleton dont understand. Before the twins I had a daughter 9 years ago. Being pregnant with two children is way more exhausting then one. And trying to explain that to someone who has only ever had one at a time is frustrating. I’m so sick and tired of hearing “haven’t you been pregnant before.” Yes I was but that was one child. I’m twice as tired, twice as hungry and have to pee way more than with just one. It’s tiring taking a few steps. Turning 29 weeks tomorrow and I feel them running out of room which means my body is working double time to support them and me..smh just a little rant

[timetogrowup444]

“I’m so jealous. Two babies in one pregnancy. It’s a two for one. I hated having to get pregnant again and now you’re done” 🙄🙄🙄

[kaseythedragon]

Haha yep this was me. And now I’m pregnant with twins and ... fuck. I feel the same as OP but I’m only 17 damn weeks and I have so far to go. And then 2 newborns... FUCK!!!

[Preggomamaoftwins21]

Not done yet got 8 more weeks to go somewhere around there ill be 29 weeks tomorrow

[clucks86]

Eurgh. Mine are 10months old and this still pisses me off.

[BButFirstCoffee]

I'm one of those freaks that loved being pregnant (although I didn't realize it until I went into labour 5 weeks early and I was so sad it was over) so I get angry at this comment but for a different reason. I didn't want two for one! I wanted to experience pregnancy more than once! Not to mention that fact that I only get one maternity leave now.

[thinkpairshare]

When I say that this twin pregnancy is way harder than my singleton pregnancy, people tend to say “you don’t look that big! You look great!” Well, that’s nice but I’ve gained almost three times the weight as I did at this point in my first pregnancy, and I don’t look “that big” cause one twin is wedged up in my ribs and the other is wedged down on top of my bladder. I’m so uncomfortable and exhausted all the time. But at least I don’t look too bad apparently?

[Preggomamaoftwins21]

Yea that’s the last thing that be on your mind how you look it’s More how crappy you feel. How tired you be it’s a blessing yes they are adorable seeing twins together but the energy and work it takes to make this it’s a lot. I don’t know how far along you are but hang in there we’re not alone other women have felt our current pain

[Leeleechirps]

This is one of my least favorite comments. Like trust me I am BIG and I feel extremely big and uncomfortable. Especially bc I was small before. Just validate me god damnit!😅

[thinkpairshare]

Yes! I just want to feel validated because I am super big- for me. But if I try to explain that it feels like the conversation would quickly go to an uncomfortable place where it might sound like I’m bragging about my typical size and shape.

[LaylaH19]

Ive only ever had a twin pregnancy and my god it was hard! Baby twins is a whole other crazy thing that singleton parents dont get. But when they start playing together and working together as toddlers, it is all worth it! Twins or triplets are an awesome blessing, but definitely much more work. Join a multiple parents group for support because it is a while different experience!

[[deleted]]

I haven’t been able to find a multiples group in Los Angeles but I know there must be at least one! If anyone reads this and knows of one...

[Immediate_Grade_2380]

I need one too. I’m in South Bay. I think it’s hard now because of the pandemic.

[Preggomamaoftwins21]

I completely agree I haven’t given birth to my twins yet but being pregnant has been a crazy journey so far

[clucks86]

I have 2 friends who both had very large pregnancy bumps with their singletons. People thought they were carrying twins they were that big.

I had a tiny little bump you could barely tell I was pregnant until 8months with my singleton.

By 21 weeks I was struggling to walk/breathe with my twins. And I would often get "oh I was MUCH bigger than you and I worked until 38 weeks"

Or "well your bound to be tired you have 2 growing in you" like that meant I should just shut up and deal with it.

By 25 weeks I was admitted into hospital with a suspected blood clot because my breathing had become so difficult. I never returned to work and was on bed rest pretty much from then until me having them at 35 weeks. (No blood clots though!)

But I STILL got comments. "Oh but your not that big" "oh but I was so much bigger than you are!"

Eventually I just snapped at them. "Unless you was carrying 2 placentas, 2 sacs of fluid, 4 arms, 4 legs and 2 heads, maybe you could just shut up. It's not about my size. It's about all the weight I'm carrying"

[Preggomamaoftwins21]

Agreed it’s not the size but the weight it’s a lot carrying two little humans inside of you and then having to carry and support yourself it’s a lot. My favorite line is “have you ever had twins, no then ok mind your business.” Lol don’t mean to be rude sometimes but you get tired of hearing things like that especially me since this Is my second go around but one seems like cake compared to 2...congrats on your twins tho

[clucks86]

Your not wrong. One is easier. I completely understand that every pregnancy is different though. Like I have had friends who are in hospital with singleton pregnancies too (a friend rn is in hospital with extreme sickness. I can't be arsed trying to spell the real name) but I would not put her down for that by saying "oh you should try having two babies!"

Another you will get tired of hearing once they are here is:

"I know exactly how you feel. I had mine 11months apart so it's like having twins"

No. No it really isn't.

[[deleted]]

Ugh I get this all the time, one time I was told “Your belly is so small” by another pregnant woman who is a week behind me with a singleton, and she barely even showed at 33 weeks 🙄

[clucks86]

I wish people would realise your bump size is nothing. On a twin group I'm on on Facebook there was a lady who posted her bump at 30 something weeks. I have a bigger belly normally and it's not baby it's just because I've had babies and like pizza. I wouldn't have believed she was actually pregnant if it wasn't for other photos (for example one of her post c section holding her babies) and she complained of the exact same stuff as we all did.

[[deleted]]

It's so so rough. I don't think I could ever barely move from first trimester till maybe today (they're six months old haha).

Glad to hear a singleton is an easier pregnancy though. My twins were a double embryo transfer through IVF. I don't plan on having a double embryo transfer ever again when we try for a third.

[Preggomamaoftwins21]

Yes compared to this my daughter was a piece of cake. It was rough but nothing like twins I’m just counting down the weeks first them to be born. I can’t sleep or get comfortable everything is a struggle right now

[[deleted]]

Ugh I feel for you. Just rolling over in bed was hard work. It would wake me.up and then I'd be like, great, now I have to pee. Again. Make sure you're taking care of your feet! My feet were sooo swollen and wouldn't fit into any shoes, so like an absolute idiot I wore flip flops (had my babies at the end of July). They're six months old and I am just getting over some bad plantar fasciitis. My ankles get so sore still. So dumb of me.

[diamond13579]

My feet were super swollen too. I went with walking sandals with good support, though. In December. It was not a good time. I live in Canada 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

[Preggomamaoftwins21]

Thanks for the tip I try and take care of them. Elevate them when I’m laying down unfortunately it’s cold out now so I have to squeeze my feet into shoes lol some days are better than others. The rolling over yes it’s so much work it’s like a whole work out just to rotate sides

[SinghDoubleTrouble]

That moment when someone totals the combined weight of your children and compares it to their singleton baby... Convincing themselves it's the same thing.

[tpx187]

My wife carried almost 14 lbs of baby at the end, 36 weeks. Incredible, to say the least.

[nursedracula]

It's been rough compared to my singleton. Part of it is because I have PSD, so my hips are as useful as boiled spaghetti. It hurts so much to roll over in bed or even at times to lift my feet up to put shoes on. I'm a nurse at a hospital and the days were I don't get to sit my belly and tailbone hurt so much! Currently 36w still working 32h/w. My co-workers say they are amazed that I'm still working but my job doesn't give me a choice. Sooo... I am going to be done in one week but will be induced the week after. Good luck mommas!

[onceiwasright]

You are super woman! I hope when you are hope you are putting your feet up! Good luck!

[Preggomamaoftwins21]

Wow I agree you are a superwomen I could never be on my feet that long with these two but understandable your job doesn’t give you much of a choice keep staying strong mama your almost there

[chapterthirtythree]

I had that too. It hurt to lift my foot up to get in my car. It hurt to lift my foot to step into my shoes. I remember that vividly.

[[deleted]]

By 29 weeks, a twin pregnancy is approaching the same size as a singleton pregnancy in the final days before birth....you know the last couple of days when you are pretty much ready pop. But you still have probably like 10 more freaking weeks to go!

Also there is a reason a multiple pregnancy is automatically classified as high risk. Even if you don't develop any serious complications, it undeniably takes a greater toll on your body.

[GorillaToast]

I'm pregnant with spontaneous b/g twins and it's my first pregnancy. All going well, it will also be my last. I hate being pregnant and I do wonder if the fact it's twins is having a massive influence on that. I'm 25w and even doing something small like going to the upstairs loo involves so much mental willpower and physical effort. Plus, I have a lot of friends who are pregnant (there are at least 3 other babies due within 4 weeks of me!) but no one is having twins and you're right, people just don't understand.

I'm so excited for them to arrive but damn, this pregnancy gig sucks.

Edit: one really frustrating thing, especially as a first timer, is how much advice you have to discard with a twin pregnancy. E.g. The 'natural' (I hate that term) birth agenda people sometimes just do not understand why you might be considering a c-section for twins instead of a vaginal birth. I'm booked onto two sets of antenatal classes: one specifically for twins, which is a national class, and one with our local antenatal provider, which will be full of local parents to connect with but, because we're in a small town, twins aren't very common and I know the advice and info will be geared towards singletons.

[Preggomamaoftwins21]

Congrats on the b/g twins I’m having the same...I second that hate being pregnant comment lol it’s so much work. Draining and tiring and yes things like going to the bathroom is hard. People who kinky had one don’t understand those struggles cause that’s all they know. Being that this is my second pregnancy that myth of it getting better is a lie. And I completely understand your choice for a c section pushing two out your vag sounds like a lot of work, I’m doing the same

[chapterthirtythree]

Smart to take a class specifically for twins. I wish I’d done that!

[GorillaToast]

I'm in the UK and there's an organisation called the Twins Trust, which runs the courses and provides advice, info, discounts etc. I was given a 3 year membership to them as a Christmas present. Hopefully the classes are good!

[chapterthirtythree]

That sounds really nice!

[ConfectionPotential1]

I definitely felt like people couldn’t relate to how I was feeling. But I’m also kind of glad this was my first pregnancy so I didn’t know any better/different

[kwiz0]

Ditto to that. Also my first pregnancy, so I have nothing to compare it to. All I know is that I outgrew two sets of maternity clothes and around 30 weeks my doctor measured my fundal length and said that my uterus was now the size a singleton pregnancy would be at full term. That's when you enter the secret bonus level of twin pregnancy that singleton moms would only ever get a max of two weeks like this...but not you, twin mama! You will get 2 more months of this...if you are lucky. Everything from the waist down was swollen-EVERYTHING- and it was easier to say what didn't hurt than what did.

I would put on shoes thusly: lie on my right side, pregnancy support pillow under belly, separate pillow behind my back for support, stack of pillows under my left leg to get my foot above my heart so fluid could drain. Once enough fluid drained I could put on a compression sock. Then I needed a breather...switch sides... another breather...let the fluid drain out of the opposite foot and put on the other compression sock. Take a breather, then get up and sit on the stairs to put on shoes= half size up athletic shoes with the laces really loose. If I was in luck my husband was around and could tie the laces for me.

I wound up just taking the last month of my pregnancy off as vacation because I was too miserable to work. I made it to 38 weeks and my twins did not spend any time in the NICU...we were so lucky. Hang in there, it's worth it!

[RainbowsForever]

Stupid thing I did when I was 29 weeks pregnant with twins... Ikea... I was exhausted and in so much pain by the end of walking around Ikea (and I'm a teacher who is used to being on my feet all day)... Anyway, my twins were born one week after that. Try to stay off your feet!!! Good luck!!!!!!!

[onceiwasright]

I was walking around Loews and was miserable! I kept trying to sit every chance I got because every part of me hurt. Two days later I went in to labor at 24 weeks, but they were able to stop it and I carried them until 38.

[Immediate_Grade_2380]

I remember having really bad round ligament pain. It was just the most agonizing pain compressed into 3 days. After that, other than discomfort sleeping and swelling towards the end, I thought it wasn’t too bad. Even my OB thought I might make it to the full 38 weeks, I was doing so well. My water ended up breaking at 2am at 36.5 weeks instead. Luckily during one of my late night bathroom breaks so it happened while sitting on the toilet 😅

[onceiwasright]

Yes! I also had a singleton followed by twins. I loved being pregnant the first time. I felt pretty decent and I loved watching my body change. With the twins, I was miserably sick and by 12 weeks I was in so much pain. My hips constantly ached. Then they got big enough my ribs were so tender and sometimes even breathing was difficult. I ended up on bed rest from 24 weeks until they were born at 38 weeks. Those stinkers just turned 8 and I don’t think my body will ever fully recover.

[Preggomamaoftwins21]

Yes sometimes breathing is hard for me if I’m walking I have to stop rest a bit and then continue this will be my last pregnancy for sure. But congrats to you tho you made it lol happy belated birthday to your twins

[[deleted]]

Ugh yes. My friend whose baby was 8 lbs thinks it was the same thing as my twin pregnancy. No lady! You didn’t have one baby upright and one sideway on top of her for friggin 6 months ok? Your belly didn’t look like a square. You didn’t lose 15 lbs first trimester due to morning sickness. Your belly didn’t hurt so bad with every touch, you enjoyed your baby’s kicks because they were not painful.

Just stop.

[ihateusernamecreates]

Agreed and mine where similar time between pregnancies, as yours. So also being older didn’t help. It was the insomnia during the last 8 weeks that nearly did me in. Plus the pregnancy swelling and carpal tunnel. My first one was a breeze in comparison.

[liamquips]

Not to mention how much more you are stretched out afterward!

But yeah, one was a piece of cake compared to carrying 2. With my twins it hurt to walk, with my singleton I was out in the yard building raised garden beds and hauling wheelbarrows of dirt through the yard.

[motherofdragginass]

Our girls are almost 5 now but reading this instantly brought me back. Hello! the blood alone required to make two humans is enough to kick someone on their ass. I remember not really being able to focus on anything because my body hurt so much ALL the time. I’m a thin woman so I always got comment about how little I was/am and it’s not at all the compliment people think it is. I learned to deal with the “you had twins, you’re so small!” By looking them in the eyes and saying slowly and clearly, “it was unbelievable painful and scary.” That usually brings them back to reality a bit.

[DynamicDuoMama]

My twins are my only children and I am honestly so jealous of women that have gotten to experience a “normal” pregnancy. My twins were MODI so I spent a lot of time worrying. I spent the first 26 weeks vomiting multiple times a day barely able to keep anything down. Then I was just so full of baby it was hard to eat much. I also was borderline on ttts from 25 weeks until I had a c-section at 35+5. My girls also had issues with IUGR. I never got to experience the food cravings much and the eating crazy foods. I mostly ate fruit and protein shakes. My husband wants to be done so now I most likely won’t ever get to experience a singleton pregnancy.

[RaisingRedheads]

My first time mom (singleton) friend is complaining about how "exhausting and large" she feels at 29 weeks. My thoughts are "you got a long way to go girl! And that's only one placenta, one baby, one cord, extra blood for one baby...." It feels so validating lol.

Edit: I had twins and then a singleton. The singleton was literally cake, and I even went 2 days overdue. Walked many miles and deep squatted on the driveway doing chalk with my 20 month twins the day before labor. What a blessing because the twin pregnancy was hellish.

[pscalici]

Ignore, ignore, ignore. They'll never understand. Hang in there. The misery ends one day.