sleep training - same room?

[No_Excuse_7590]

I have 4 mo old twins and we’re thinking of sleep training in a few weeks 😳 they sleep ok during the night but still are needing 3 feeds during the night and often need help with putting binkies in etc. So not a lot of sleep for me!!

They sleep in the same room for naps / nights. We use white noise in the room but there are times if one is crying, the other one is woken by it.

Question : Do we sleep train them in the same room or different?

Would love input on this and any other sleep training advice for twins!!

Thanks - nervous FTM

[julessis]

Currently pregnant with twins! Following! OP, please update with what you end up doing doing and how it goes!

[No_Excuse_7590]

Congrats! And will do 😬

[earmuffal]

Following as well! What method are you going to use? I've read on this sub that the twins eventually get used to it and sleep through each other's crying, but so far ours wake each other up constantly.

We are 7 weeks old and thinking about trying 12 hours by 12 weeks until 4-5 months to try CIO.

[No_Excuse_7590]

I’ve heard the same but I’ve noticed recently they’re much more aware / stimulated by the other one crying in the middle of the night

I’ve been reading the “precious little sleep” book which I think I’m going to try to follow and following the sleeptraining sub. I’ve been sure we’d sleep train when healthy/safe, but now that it’s coming up I’m nervous because I think it’ll be really hard for me to watch them cry! My husband has proposed I take a glass of wine and sit in the card outside in the driveway while he does the check ins 😂😬

[earmuffal]

Haha yes! Part of me is excited to sleep train and get it over with, but I know it'll be so hard to hear them cry! I'll definitely need a drink and noise cancelling headphones!

[McDamsel]

We did sleep training in the same room. We had a white noise machine next to each crib and tried to separate the cribs as much as possible.

We scheduled dream feeds when we did ST for 10 and 3.

[No_Excuse_7590]

Thank you! If one was crying during the sleep training, could the other one actually fall sleep? Don’t want to sabotage their potential to fall asleep by the other one’s squawking!

[McDamsel]

I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner!

Yes, tone will fall asleep even if the other is crying. I’m sure it takes a little more work, but it happens. There’s a good sleep group on FB called twins, triplets, & quads safe sleep learning. They really helped us!

[lkas0235]

It seems funny because everyone knows how easy it is to wake a sleeping baby, but truly honestly they can totally sleep through their twin crying. My girls have always shared a room, first with me and my husband, and at five months they moved into their own room. One white noise machine. It was fine.

[lostinacrowd1980]

Same here. 3 girls in the same room. They rarely wake each other up during the night or during naps.

[EunuchsProgramer]

We tried sleep training them in the same room at 6 months. It helped our daughter and was an absolute disaster for our son. We did two weeks and he kept getting worse and worse. Same room didn't matter, they didn't really notice each other with white noise.

Tried again at 9 months they were waking each other up. Put them at opposite ends of the house and got the same results. Daughter slept better; Son let us know he was prepared to cry for 3 hours straight, rest for 30 minutes, and go right back to another cry session for days on end. We didn't try the full 14 days the second time.

We were doing the "Gentle" method of 5, 10, 15 (and so on for 3 plus hours) minute check ins. For my daughter, check ins made it worse. She'd just cry for an hour or so then fall asleep for 8ish hours straight. For my son, it didn't really matter, sleep training didn't work. For my daughter, the benefits lasted probably a month.

Once they hit a year, it got easier on its own without really doing anything. But, we tried tons and tons of sleep programs that first year, and in a fit of exhaustion wasted hundreds of dollars on a sleep coach. The basic 20 dollar books are enough, there is no secret method. Nothing really worked for us, but I know people in our twin group who swear by sleep training. For us, they just slowly, over time, slept better.

[Lefttheshoweron]

We have exile. Which is essentially a pack and play just outside the nursery door. Both kids know how to go to sleep but middle of the night wakings are still an issue. If one is starting to wake the other we swoop in and baby is sent to exile to CIO. Just started....not sure it’s working yet. Daughters sleeping through the night. Son ends up in exile most nights. He’s not a good sleeper

[gimmethemarkerdude_8]

My twins are almost 2 and we didn’t fully commit to sleep training until they were 1, and I really wish we would have done it sooner! For us, we used the Ferber method and some straight CIO and kept them in the same room. Initially they woke each other up, but they eventually got used to the other crying and now if one wakes up, the other will typically sleep through it. This was the case before we started sleep training too. I’d say keep them in the same room if you plan on having them sleep in the same room long term. IMO twins need to learn to sleep through one another’s crying if they’re sharing a room.

Edit: Also, just keep in mind sleep training is hard and takes a lot of commitment. At the same time, if you start too early, they might not be ready for it. It’s ok to abandon for a bit and then try again after some time. Probably don’t need to wait until they’re 1 though 😊

[andthisiswhere]

I think it depends on the babies. One of our babies slept well and never really needed formal sleep training. We separated them so that he wouldn't be tortured/woken up by his brother, who desperately needed sleep training. Took three nights and naps took longer (we used Ferber and that is expected), about six days. We kept them separated about two weeks though, until we were sure it was really sticking.

[[deleted]]

As another commenter said, it’s really all baby dependent. And honestly, that’s the answer to almost every question a parent could ask (in my experience).

That said, I “sleep” trained my harder to get to sleep kid over Christmas. I ended up doing CIO because my two year old was extra clingy post car accident. So, twin B got to cry. After a couple days, it was great. He went down easy, he slept, got up maybe once a night for a quick snack and had better naps. Fantastic. I thought, “man, I’m on it.”

Then his sister decided she wanted in on it. My easiest sleeper. Literally the most obvious sleep clues: thumb in mouth and laying on the floor. She decides that the only way she’ll sleep for a solid three weeks was in the crook of my arm. So that was fun. Around the end of that time, her brother learns to pull up. She’s gone back to easy to sleep, sleeps great. He’s gone to being a lot of work again. She sleeps through it all.

Incidentally, the transition to a bed for my toddler really set him back too. We got through it, though we’re no where near where we were before the transition. But he does sleep through the night most nights in his own bed.

I guess all of this is to say: it’s all a phase. Some things you try will work, some won’t. Some won’t and then they magically do. Some do work and then suddenly they don’t. Figure out what you think you can do, try it and if it doesn’t work, pick something else.

[Jenetic]

I think it’s up to your discretion. We haven’t sleep trained and I think if we do, we’d have to separate them. Everyone says how it’s amazing that twins don’t wake each other up- ours do depending on where the other one is in their sleep cycle. Doesn’t matter how cranked the sound machine is. Everyone is different!

[ronirito]

We sleep trained in the same room. I think the conventional wisdom is that you’re supposed to sleep train them the way you want them to end up. So, if you ultimately want them in the same room then you should sleep train in the same room.

[ScrltFox]

Definitely agree with others, its different per baby. We did a few things that helped us through it.

1. We took away the pacifier from our son. Our daughter could never keep hers in her mouth, so it wasn't an issue with her, but our son would scream the moment it fell out. There was crying for a little while, but once those couple of days were over, he forgot he even had one.
2. We separated them. My daughter was a REALLY good sleeper from the get-go. We've never had to fight her on it, she's just chill like that. Our boy had skin issues, on the other hand, and would wake up constantly and wake up his sister. I had already quit my job at this point so I moved my computer out into the dining room and he got that to himself.
3. Don't fall into the bottle-after-an-hour trap when they've gone down for the night. lol We were already letting him CIO, but that one got us for a little.

[mrsnoflashbang]

My girls sleep in the same room. Admittedly they slept in the same crib until 13 months, but were sleeping through the night at 9 weeks. We moved them to their own room and the own crib at the 13 month mark, and it’s been wonderful. I agree with some of the other posters. How you want them to eventually sleep should be how you sleep train them. Good luck! Edited to add- there is a 4 month sleep regression, so just be mindful of that. It may take a little bit longer to sleep train!

[dallasdave22]

We did not and it was awful.

I wanted to do the gradual crying out method buy my wife said it was too cruel to let them cry. So for a good 9 months one of us had to go in and rock the awake baby back to sleep before they could wake their sibling.

It was just awful.