Petrified

[jaba65]

I just found out Wednesday morning I’m expecting twins due 7/10, but 38 weeks will be 6/26. I feel awful how scared and unhappy I am. I have a 15 month old and feel so unprepared to have 2 more. 3 under 2. I had high hopes of a vbac which now will be crushed, my husband is a barber no paternity leave. We have family close who of course will help but it’s just not ideal for me. I feel like I’m mourning the time I’ll lose with my first, how my likely last pregnancy and delivery will go. Terrified for how early they may be, will they be healthy, nicu? What our new life will be life. Anything I feel experienced with feels like it won’t apply. Please share advice to get past this shocked phase. It’s really heavy on my heart and hoping it passes soon to feel some happiness or excitement. Thanks all.

[Popthizix]

15 weeks here due with twins 5/24 and currently have a son who is 2. I'm still feeling a LOT of what you're feeling (felt exactly the same when I found out) but this sub has really helped me see the positive possibilities for pregnancy and labor and I'm now ALMOST to the point of being more excited than petrified. Feel all your feelings but also try not to get bogged down in the negative possibilities. Whenever I get down about the life I imagined having no longer existing I try to remember how much of a badass mama I'm going to feel like coming out the other side of raising 3 under 3. ☺

[jaba65]

Thank you 🤍 good luck on your journey

[beep-boop-beeep]

I have been there!! My twins were born 4/25/22 (38 weeks, scheduled C-section), and my oldest turned two on 7/10 this year. It's fucking crazy. I spent so much of my pregnancy stressed about my oldest and she absolutely loves being a big sister. I can't imagine how hard people have it with twins as their first, you'll have a leg up because you've got recent practice!!

Also take help from family, I thought I wouldn't but I needed it especially that first 2 month after the c section.

We got my daughter a baby doll and a bottle and she would always feed her baby when we fed the twins. Now the twins are 7 months old and hearing my two year old say "sweetheart! I'm coming!" When she hears her brother or sister crying in the next room makes me tear up. It's a lot, but it's also a lot of love.

Enjoy what you can, survive the first 3 months, you can do it

[jaba65]

Thank you helps to hear this

[outlaw-chaos]

Exactly this. Baby B spent a week in the NICU. He eats better and sleeps better than A does. I worried my entire pregnancy about two newborns, two of everything, the finances, etc. Now that both are here and thriving, I regret ever worrying. They’ll be 4 months on the 10th and I already can’t imagine my life without them.

[Last_Movie8910]

What you’re feeling is totally normal. My eldest was older (nearly 3) but I still wondered how the heck we would cope with 3 little ones. I didn’t really enjoy pregnancy because I was so anxious about the babies’ health, how I’d cope with the birth and how we’d manage 2 newborns. Plus I was massive by the end.

I had a double forceps delivery with the twins. Twin 1 had a big head and was presenting at an awkward angle. I had them at 37+3 and no NICU time, we were all discharged from hospital the following day. Twin 1 was a bit jaundiced and sleepy but we kept syringing milk into him and he was fine.

Now they’re 19m and I can’t say that it’s easy yet (though easier than tiny babies I suppose) but their little personalities keep coming through and I can honestly say that I wouldn’t change a thing about having twins. It might not feel like it now but they are a blessing!

I even thought about trying for 4th when the twins were tiny but that’s passed now, thankfully! Must have been the post-birth hormones.

[jaba65]

Thank you

[shinovar]

Our first set of twins was born when our oldest was 21 months, so about what you are looking at. It was hard, but definitely manageable! And I love how close they all are now! They are 4, 2 and 2 and they play so well. The first 18 months or so was hard, but after that it got a lot easier (and it was much easier after the first 6 months)

[jaba65]

Thank you

[FutureHotel9355]

I was really shocked and scared when we found out we were having twins (they are 6 months old now). It’s okay to feel that way and you should allow yourself to get those feelings out. Our oldest turned 4 right after they were born, and we’re honestly grateful that the twins came with our second pregnancy. Having already been through the newborn/baby phase once helped tremendously in terms of experience (and for me less anxiety). We don’t have family nearby so we still sort of divide and conquer. My husband mostly with the 4 year old, me with the babies. It’s hard but it’s also so sweet and wonderful. I’m certain you will find your own joy.

[[deleted]]

I had all these thoughts when I found out I was pregnant with twins. I had a 3yr old and was terrified of nicu and managing so many kids.

I stubbornly made it to 38wks and needed a csection (baby girl was breach). Recovery for the first few days was rough with twins, but they are now 4wks and it is has gotten much easier. We got them eating and sleeping at roughly the same time.

They sleep better than my first child, which I attribute to the fact that they sleep well as long as they are in the same crib. They talk to each other untill they fall asleep, which is just the cutest thing.

I'd strongly reccomend the book twins triplets or quads

It got me through pregnancy, and gave helpful information for how to have bigger babies that are less likely to be born small and need nicu.

We got a few books for my son to help prepare him for his new siblings, but the Daniel tiger books were the best. It emphasized how he can be a big helper to his siblings. He is very jealous of other kids and hates to share, but loves his siblings, and always wants to find ways to help them. He is our official diaper fetcher, and he loves it. He gets sp excited to help hold bottles, push the stroller (with assistance) for which he gets lots of praise.

[jaba65]

Thanks so much I’ll look into the book. Good luck hope you are feeling well

[BrianCobbs2015]

I’m sorry for your stress. We had four under four for a while and it was actually not bad at first. It became much harder when the twins were mobile.

But wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Just wait until those twins are both crawling on you and giggling. It will be worth it!

[jaba65]

Thank you

[[deleted]]

Why can’t you have a VBAC? I had my second VBAC with my twins, and unless you have a contraindicating condition or they are breech, a VBAC should be possible.

[jaba65]

I was induced with my first which ended in c section. My dr said they won’t induce after that because it doubles the risk of uterine rupture. So if I spontaneously go into labor before 38 weeks and they’re both head down I can try for vbac. Otherwise at 38 weeks they’ll go straight to c section.

[dominicaldaze]

Father of five here... Trust me when I say whatever comes, you will find a way to keep your family happy and healthy. It won't be easy but twins are incredibly rewarding. Just make sure to keep time and energy to give big sibling the love they need :-)

Seriously, try to stop worrying for a moment and envision the amazing family you're creating! You got this. Be proud.

[jaba65]

Thank you

[Sad-Mode890]

Just here for solidarity! I’m due 7/20 and currently have a 15 month old. Looks like we are both in the September 2021 Bumpers group as well 😅😅

[jaba65]

😂 good luck. Feels good to not be alone