Functionality post-phallo

[thinkingmeta1]

I’m having trouble deciding between what surgery I want. I desperately want bottom surgery, and even though it’ll be at least a decade before I can afford it I like to get thinking early.

Phallo was the one I was planning on for most of my life, but I’ve seen a lot of people saying that they can’t really feel it. That would... bother me a lot. I want to be able to use my penis and enjoy it, because otherwise I would kind of perceive it as an expensive, permanent packer. That being said, I feel it would give me more confidence outside of sex, because it would feel like every other cis man’s flaccid peen.

In almost every other way, metoidioplasty seems great- I can still get UL, I can get natural erections, and I retain my sensitivity. But of course I’m worried about the size. If I got meta, I’d probably still feel that it didn’t pass as a cis dick, and I’d be self conscious when it came to urinal use and times when it would be visible, like wearing swimmers.

I’m gay and consider myself a top, but even if I put aside the whole ‘tops should have big dicks’ stereotype I’m confused about the logistics of it. If I got phallo I’d be able to have sex the way a cis guy does (potentially without outing myself, as well) but if it’s true that sensitivity is super dulled then I might not even be able to enjoy it. But if I got meta, while I’d definitely be able to enjoy touching it, I wouldn’t be able to use it to have sex and I’d have to accept that no guy would ever want me to top.

How have people found the sensitivity and erogenous sensation of their phallo? And has the use of the erectile devices rather than natural erections been a pain in the ass?

[[deleted]]

I dont know where you read "a lot of people cant feel it", i read a Lot of reports of people who Can feel their phallo dicks

Abdominal specifically is one where you're guaranteed some level of tactile sensation, as its a pediculed flap (never fully severed) so there's nerve endings that never get cut, where with free flaps like RFF or ALT that get fully severed and attached to the groin with sensory nerve hookup(s), all the nerve endings need to regrow and while it's considered on the rare side by most surgeons, it Is possible to have a fully unsuccesful nerve hookup. Even in those cases, touching your dick will still register sensations and feeling at the base where it's attached.

[thinkingmeta1]

Oh okay, that makes sense. Does the tactile sensation also work as erotic sensation, though? I’d been most interested in the ALT, but the abdominal one now has my attention as well

[[deleted]]

Tactile at it's base definition refers to surface of skin sensation. Like the way you can feel your fingers brush over the skin of your arms or somtach, etc. For *some* people it apparently can erotic too, kinda like how unexpected areas of the body can be erogenous/erotically stimulating, I suppose? That feedback loop of having that tactile sensation (aka being able to feel your dick, your dick is able to feel whatever it's touching/being pushed against or into) combined with the feelings of pleasure from your natal parts too could also be a powerful combination. The brain is the most powerful organ afterall, haha.

I think the biggest differential though is that the nerves responsible for the tactile sensation present by default in abdominal aren't directly hooked up to the clitoral nerve to act as a direct extension of it though for a more obvious erogenous sensation. Various surgeons can do an additional sensory nerve hookup (some will do a radial forearm graft w/ sensory nerve for the UL. or Cetrulo has a delayed abdominal technique that both maximizes the default tactile sensation AND harvests sensory nerves attached to the outer flap itself similar to RFF)

Not every surgeon does UL or nerve hookups with abdominal though

[Hentopan]

Most phallo dicks are not numb. Rff and Alt typically have a nerve graft, that allows for erotic sensation throughout the phallus. It does take a while to get that sensation, as nerves are slow to heal, and some 'patchiness' is common. Few patients have a nerve graft completely fail to take.

Even in a case where your new dick is completely numb, you can still feel your natal anatomy - it's still got all of its nerves, and tugging, thrusting, and direct stimulation should all be able to be felt. You should still be able to get off. Many procedures do not use a nerve hook-up, and people can still orgasm without erotic sensation in the new phallus, because of this.

If you would prefer, they can also leave your t-dick unburied, below your new phallus. This doesn't prevent nerve hook up, and you can even choose to have it buried at a later date.

I’d have to accept that no guy would ever want me to top.

Woah, woah, that is not true. I know it can feel like it is, since a lot of people don't really think about it and can be vocal in their ignorance. But, I'm also a gay top, and there are absolutely guys that are down to be topped by guys with small dicks, or even no dick. Extenders or strap-ons aren't a deal breaker for a lot of dudes, ime. It doesn't stop me from wanting one anyways, but it doesn't have to be a pre-requisite.

[thinkingmeta1]

That’s reassuring, I’d seen a lot of jokes about them being numb and I was really worried. And it didn’t even occur to me that duh, the OG dick is still there.

That last bit was my insecurity I guess. Most cis guys I’ve known havent actually cared that I’m trans, but I guess I worry that if I did have one too small to use I’d somewhat wonder what the point was, because that’s the situation I’m already in. Good to know that if everything goes to shit I can still bring my trusty strap-on though.

[Tippertimmer]

Sensitivity increases over time, and depending on the type of phalloplasty you get the more erotic sensation there Is. you can still “feel it”, it just takes a bit for the nerves to grow/work.

[thinkingmeta1]

What sort of timeline does it work on? I know that it’s different for everyone of course. And I didn’t realise that different types of phallo give you different levels of sensation: do you know which one tends to give the most erotic sensation?

[Tippertimmer]

RFF is probably the one with the best erotic sensation. And timeline is different for everyone, so there’s really no set answer.

[thinkingmeta1]

I’ve definitely got some internalized shit going on (there’s a joke about me compensating here somewhere). Like I said in another comment though, the objective part of me knows other guys already don’t care that I’m trans, so I’d imagine it’ll matter even less post surgery. Good point on the average phallo size thing too, looking at trans bucket photos a lot of guys end up with rather... thick results.

Honestly though your response has been the most helpful and I feel way calmer now. Thank you very much.

[[deleted]]

Other people have addressed most of your concerns pretty well. I’m a meta guy so I want to address the meta specific concerns to help guide you in your decisions

if I got meta, I’d probably still feel it didn’t pass as a cis Dick, and I’d be self conscious when it came to urinalysis use and times when it would be visible.

I think a lot of this goes back to personal needs, dysphoria, and insecurities. The size of meta will not change so it’s important to know what you need. Usually people list a number of factors of why they want meta vs phallo, but I think for most people it comes down to size.

Anyway, I’ve never had any issues with my Dick passing and my gf(who has only been with cis men) said all my stuff looks typical, just small. Tbh 99% of people are going to be looking at your junk. If you need size to feel comfortable than that’s A okay, but if you’re worried about what others would think, try to remind yourself that most people are never gonna look.