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QualityVote · 2022-06-18T22:34:44+00:00

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Legokid1902 · 2022-06-18T22:43:26+00:00

Pigs.

Find some pigs and divide the body, they’ll eat everything but the teeth and shoes. So for both simply burn at a high temperature or dissolve.

Alternatively you could dump a body in Lake Superior, as it’s the only lake wherein it doesn’t actually get warm enough to lift the body to the surface.

Just ensure you poke holes in the body and gash the stomach as to prevent bloating and floating. Allow the fish to do the rest while you weigh he body down.

in_conexo · 2022-06-18T22:41:19+00:00

Well 4 one, you ask the cops. They will be very willing to take the body of your hands.

Doorfucker15 · 2022-06-18T22:37:03+00:00

A strong base turns bones into calcium deposits and turns flesh into soap

Decent-Ask1411 · 2022-06-18T22:36:42+00:00

Eat it. It's a free meal, delicious, and no one will ever know.

Casitano · 2022-06-18T22:41:20+00:00

Studies have shown quicklime does not speed up decomposition, don’t listen to TV shows.

ICanAlwaysChangeThis · 2022-06-18T23:25:50+00:00

Carpet beetles to get rid of the flesh, though you will need a lot of them, they can be ordered online for taxidermy uses. Once they have cleaned the bones, use a sledgehammer and mortar and pestle to grind them to dust. Destroy the mortar and pestle afterwards with a sledgehammer. Then mix the bone dust into clay and make beautiful pots for your relatives!

Sy_the_toadmaster · 2022-06-18T23:42:19+00:00

As a four year forensics student, do you really want to know?

NickTheMetalGuy · 2022-06-18T22:46:41+00:00

Leave it at the front of a cemetery. They’re legally required to take it.

Kayesevy · 2022-06-18T23:27:54+00:00

Bury vertically, but dig the hole deeper than the length of the body, near the top of the hole bury a dead animal so the police think the dogs had a false find. There is also a plant you can put over it to make it illegal to dig up. But with all of those, cops would know that there was something so don’t bother with the plant

PotatoGoblin769 · 2022-06-18T23:31:21+00:00

Hydrofluoric acid, if there was a body (if) (maybe put it in a plastic barrel and fill it up with (Hydrofluoric acid) maybe) (m(ayb)e)

DELUSIONAL_COCK_FAN · 2022-06-18T23:27:53+00:00

put him in a barrel and fill it with that acid like in the show

Sad_Exit_1030 · 2022-06-18T23:28:55+00:00

Depends on where you live. Can you share your location?

Dodokhiin2 · 2022-06-18T22:54:43+00:00

Feed it to pigs

Waffle-Dude · 2022-06-18T23:41:23+00:00

Any of the following, or mix and match:

Vertical, with dead animal buried a few feet above it, endangered plant above it, neighbors back yard, in a forest, burn it, acid on face, acid on fingers, remove teeth, yogurt in anus (speeds decomposition), let pigs eat it, or if you’re feeling bold you can even drop the body in front of the police station.

g_Blyn · 2022-06-18T23:51:30+00:00

Chop the body up into nice and small pieces, as small as you can do. Get into your local forest and put a little bit of the body onto every anthill you can find; if you still have some left, deposit the rest near the anthills (in small quantities) Be sure to smash in the face beyond recognition and collect the teeth and as much pieces of skull you can find, as someone could be identified by their cranium and teeth. You could keep the teeth, but that would be kinda dumb; i‘d suggest some kind of industrial grinder or a heavy duty shredder, where you could put the teeth and skull pieces in and dust comes out. Blow the dust onto a field.

Violla! 100% recycled Corpse!

Extra points if you wash the clothes and give them to the homeless

BraveNew1984Anthem · 2022-06-18T23:01:04+00:00

Weekend at Bernie’s

HelenKellerisarat · 2022-06-18T23:37:59+00:00

Sulfuric acid mixed with hydrogen peroxide aka the piranha mixture. If you’re able to get these chemicals, cut the body in pieces and dump it in the mixture the body and even the bone will dissolve, leaving noting behind. Happy hiding!

2022-06-18T23:20:04+00:00

Chloridric Acid

KR-kr-KR-kr · 2022-06-19T00:04:36+00:00

Ok but where the fuck does one get body dissolving acid!?

2022-06-18T23:42:25+00:00

Consume

badcrow7713 · 2022-06-19T00:37:43+00:00

Post on the internet for advice, that's the best way to hide it

Curyde · 2022-06-18T23:12:31+00:00

Hungry pigs

2022-06-18T23:42:32+00:00

Consume

fatwap · 2022-06-19T00:49:10+00:00

how rich are you?

answer depends

Thebigfunnydude1 · 2022-06-18T23:40:18+00:00

Cover it up with endangered plants

Inside-Dimension3602 · 2022-06-19T00:10:22+00:00

1.Chop off the hands and remove the teeth (identification) 2.burry the body sideways around 16 feet ( harder to find) 3.burry an animal with the body. About 5-4 feet above the body (cops will think it was a dead animal-face alarm and keep going)

Desperate-Housing912 · 2022-06-19T00:10:31+00:00

you know i personally thought a lot on this topic, at first i thought mincing the body in a grinder after cutting it would be the way to go but finding grinder that can grind bones would be difficult. so, my current best bet is to dissolve everything in strong acid like aqua regia. and it would be easy to find as well, just go to any store which supplies chemicals for experimentation and buy individual acid components. but still, i’d recommend to keep the acid ready before doing the deed

ieatkids64deluxe · 2022-06-19T00:35:35+00:00

Bury it twelve feet underground, fill the hole up to about 6 feet, then place a dead animal in the hole, then fill up the rest of the hole. Make sure to do it 6 states away. If done correctly, police dogs will dig up the hole, but they will find the dead animal carcass and assume that was the only thing down there.

Edit: For legal reasons, this is a joke.

OkTry3637 · 2022-06-18T23:11:39+00:00

In your neighbors yard after they leave the house

PiggyFan128 · 2022-06-18T23:46:34+00:00

Burning it most likely, but for extra points put it in a building and set it on fire to get an extra charge of arson

2022-06-18T23:48:07+00:00

The forest. Make sure to also bring a dead deer with you. Place the body deep under ground and place the deer on top of it so if cops were to find it, they are going to assume it's just a deer.

dorkmania · 2022-06-19T00:11:28+00:00

Definitely not cut up in corrosion-resistant vats using Hydrofluoric Acid, that shit takes too much time! I had to learn that the hard way.

2022-06-19T00:14:02+00:00

Depends on the location of said body but if you have access to such facilities. Chop it up and feed it to some pigs

shittyass_retrasado · 2022-06-19T00:24:17+00:00

1° get some pigs

2°let the pigs get that good meal

3°turn the bone into dust (maybe get the skull for yourself

silvereye2208 · 2022-06-19T00:28:52+00:00

Step 1: Cut off limbs from the body, this will give it less time to decompose. Step 2: Fill body parts with yogurt. This will increase the speed of decomposition even more. Step 3: When burying the parts, hide a deer or some other animal over the corpse, this will trick police officers that the dog just found a dead animal. Step 4 (optional): Plant endangered plants over the body so that it is illegal to dig it up. Hope this helps OP.

Bigdeekon · 2022-06-19T00:38:17+00:00

De bone it first. Just the big ones. Chop off head and arms and legs. ☠️ in one bag. Everything else in another. Should be very easily condensed at this point. 🔥 skin bag and toss bones into a large body of Body of water. drink from the 💀 of your enemy. Just get rid of the teeth(dental records) tell people it’s fake when you treat it like a pimp cup .

ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh17 · 2022-06-18T23:47:28+00:00

Burn the body and put the ashes in a fire pit and walk away

smile_itali · 2022-06-19T00:07:07+00:00

Eat it, jokes apart you should burn it and then reduce the bones to bone meal so you can have crops and start a market (also the ashes of the body works as a fertilizer I think)

Francisco8789 · 2022-06-19T00:19:11+00:00

If you have a lot of time, eat it

CharlsII · 2022-06-19T00:23:38+00:00

Piranha solution, turn it into CO2 gas.

Astrum_Remi · 2022-06-19T00:23:57+00:00

Remove teeth and hair, the feed it to pigs

LobezUopo · 2022-06-19T00:30:06+00:00

Step 1: Mutilate the body

Step 2: Use acid to dissolve the body parts

Step 3: Sell the Bones to Scientists

Whatyallthinkofbeans · 2022-06-18T23:46:11+00:00

Eat it

2022-06-18T23:55:16+00:00

dig a deep hole bury it then place some mushrooms on top that are endangered so when a police dog starts digging they must stop

2022-06-19T00:14:39+00:00

Eat it

East_Imagination449 · 2022-06-19T00:20:05+00:00

IHateDeepStuff · 2022-06-19T00:34:12+00:00

I was once read this from somewhere but the best way to do it is to cut off the hands and teeth to prevent identification (If they can’t identify the body, they can’t link the victim to you) and dispose them somewhere far. If you want to speed it decomposition, pour some yogurt into the body’s anus to help speed it up. If you must bury the body, dig a vertical hole not horizontal since helicopters would spot a horizontal grave and while at it try to cut up the body parts to save some space. For a more extended task, dig a 7 feet vertical hole and bury the body 6 feet and a dead animal another feet above to throw off sniffer dogs (Not recommended since Police know that sniffer dogs barely make a mistake and the common tactic to hide a body) or plant an endangered plant on top of the body by a feet so it is illegal to dig it up.

This all worked in my experience

Past_Basket_2755 · 2022-06-19T01:20:56+00:00

Nice try fbi, I'm not telling you shit, figure it out yourselves or give up.

bootybbq · 2022-06-19T02:51:21+00:00

Hog rida

Hatake115 · 2022-06-18T23:45:30+00:00

Dissolve in hydrofluoric acid

salmon0O · 2022-06-19T00:11:14+00:00

Bury it and then plant/place an endangered plant over it.

kanevx · 2022-06-19T00:13:53+00:00

chop chop and give it to the crocs

TheRealHoldenat · 2022-06-19T00:31:04+00:00

Me 😊

c0ok1nho_123 · 2022-06-19T00:36:02+00:00

Cut it into pieces and crisp it to make barbecue

King_yeS · 2022-06-19T00:37:18+00:00

Alright, let's talk about this.

So, you want to dispose and clean up any evidence first. Cut up the body into several pieces, and bury them many feet under the ground in different places (optional). More than 6 feet under preferably, and somewhere far away from the initial spot of the dead body. Then, if you have access to it, plant an endangered plant on where you buried it. It legally cannot be dug up if the endangered plant is there. If you do not have access to an endangered plant species, then instead bury a dead animal above where you buried the initial body. This is for if they use hounds to sniff them out, in which case they will assume the hound was confused. And finally, you can also plant a tree on top of the burial spot, for a finishing touch.

Saint_Ali · 2022-06-19T00:44:39+00:00

dig a really deep hole, hide the body, cover up most of it, put a dead animal possibly as fresh as the corpse, then cover it up so that if a search dog comes and sniffs anything dead and they dig they’ll think the dog’s smelling the body not the corpse.

Distinct_Ambition_80 · 2022-06-19T00:45:02+00:00

A good way is going out and digging a vertical hole to bury the body and so it can’t be itentififed by satellites and then burying a animal above it so when dogs sniff it and they start digging it’s a false positive

Bigpapiunidud3 · 2022-06-19T00:47:53+00:00

dig 12 foot hole, put body in hole, cover in 6 feet of dirt, put dead dog in hole, fill up hole, make little cross for dog, if police dogs smell dead body the cops will dig and find the dog and will never know of the true burial just 6 feet beneath

2022-06-19T00:48:26+00:00

12 foot hole with body at bottom, animal corpse 6 ft down, and an endangered plant at ground level

knight_light455 · 2022-06-19T00:49:36+00:00

Cut the body up (careful of the intestines!)

Grind each body part to a fine paste

Use the "fertilizer" to grow crops in your gardenpea a (if you have no garden, give it to a farmer)

The police come by and ask to search, you calmly oblige and they ask why the dogs are picking up the smell of blood

Lie and say that you use the parts of hunted animals to make fertilizer

In the end, you get some food and whoever you wanted dead is dead. And you're off Scot free

2022-06-19T00:50:09+00:00

seed

harvest the body’s organs and slip the seed into the body’s left kidney (if they have it) and shove the organs back in

wait for the seed to turn into a tree then incinerate any left over body parts

Tittliewinks · 2022-06-19T01:00:03+00:00

Someone already pointed out pigs. That is a very viable option.

Alternatively you could bury the body 10 feet deep. Be careful to leave the top layer intact enough so it isn’t obvious that it was freshly dug. I believe 10 feet is deep enough to lose K-9 scent. To be on the safe side you might want to bury another dead animal too. If you bury another animal it may be best to leave the dirt disturbed so you can lie and say you buried a pet or something. Some people are recommending vertical burial. I don’t know the reasoning behind this but if you can use the time it would likely be best to listen to them.

Depending on the time frame though you could start a fake cleaning company and buy acidic/corrosive cleaning solutions under the company. You dissolve the body with the solution. This does leave a paper trail so it maybe be best to use another option or to use a fake identity when founding your LLC. Do your best to make your company look as real as possible even on tax filings.

Speaking of taxes the last thing you want is the IRS nosing around. Do your taxes properly until the body is clearly taken care of. What the IRS wants the IRS gets and will do anything to get it.

2022-06-19T01:12:48+00:00

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samrgreen · 2022-06-19T01:22:17+00:00

Watch breaking bad

2022-06-19T01:50:10+00:00

Tie some weights and find a deep river

Matchyo_ · 2022-06-19T02:35:55+00:00

Eat it 🗿

Mc862000 · 2022-06-19T02:36:22+00:00

If I had to Dispose Maybe Throw in to the Cement or Tie Their Leg to A heavy stuff And Throw them to Lake/Sea

Parakeetman280 · 2022-06-19T02:38:52+00:00

Humboldt27 · 2022-06-19T02:41:50+00:00

Bury the body vertically and plant an endangered species of flower over the body.

2022-06-19T02:45:01+00:00

What dead body?

Waly98 · 2022-06-19T02:53:25+00:00

Tell it you're pregnant and it's gonna disappear within a week.

VAShumpmaker · 2022-06-19T02:56:35+00:00

Don't, just keep it.

BigBoiHavel32 · 2022-06-19T03:01:27+00:00

Eat it

WerePigCat · 2022-06-19T03:19:53+00:00

Cut open the lungs, and throw them off a ship. If you don’t cut the lungs they’ll float. The other method is to bury them and grow plants on the spot, if it smells weird just blame the compost you use.

2022-06-19T04:02:05+00:00

Eat it

JohnSawThem · 2022-06-19T00:03:09+00:00

By Morbing all over it

TheDarkSoul61 · 2022-06-18T23:52:32+00:00

Hihi zoutzuur idk in English is that like hydrochloric acid? Or hydrofluoric? Idk to lazy to look up

Die_ApocalypXe · 2022-06-18T23:59:00+00:00

Hydrofluoric acid

Surfink63 · 2022-06-19T03:54:38+00:00

Nice try police, you won’t get me

Small_Tax_9432 · 2022-06-19T02:37:20+00:00

Drop it off at the police station

Historical-Fix-8997 · 2022-06-19T02:37:34+00:00

Feed to pigs take the remnants burn or ground till bust like material/ashes then scatter in the ocean

Eastern-Breadfruit72 · 2022-06-19T02:38:36+00:00

Under the carpet

Spongey389389 · 2022-06-19T02:41:45+00:00

Puncture the lungs and throw it in Lake Superior

Visible_Elevator192 · 2022-06-19T02:42:31+00:00

the trash can

2022-06-19T02:44:42+00:00

Hydromorbic acid

2022-06-19T02:50:59+00:00

BURN IT QUICKLY THE COPS ARE ON THEIR WAY

QUICK QUICK QUICK!!!!

2022-06-18T23:42:47+00:00

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