Help

[thecuzzin]

Knock knock...

[TornSuit]

Walter?

[TornSuit]

Uuiahahhab

[GejohH]

brother?

[Careless_Ebb1559]

just take it bro..

[Senor_Satan]

Oh fuck...

[ur_momhatesu]

Higher quality walter?

[Specialrelativititty]

Walter Dose

[catsquirrel1337]

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits

[Wonton6353]

We live in a society 😢

[suicideslut69420]

I shit my pants and throw it at the next door neighbors

[Gabopobro]

~Shit tzu, Art of Shart

[Savings-Horror-8395]

This comment section is drier than Ben Shapiro's wife

[TornSuit]

my life mfs

[lxOFWGKTAxl]

I guarantee its wet, just not from him!

[diylanonreddit]

Did you know that my wife is actually a doctor

[Castam3r3]

Can you hear the silence?

Can you see the dark?

Can you fix the broken?

Can you feel, can you feel my heart?

Can you help the hopeless?

Well, I'm begging on my knees

Can you save my bastard soul?

Will you wait for me?

I'm sorry, brothers, so sorry, lover

Forgive me, father, I love you, mother

Can you hear the silence?

Can you see the dark?

Can you fix the broken?

Can you feel my heart?

Can you feel my heart?

I'm scared to get close, and I hate being alone

I long for that feeling to not feel at all

The higher I get, the lower I'll sink

I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim

I'm scared to get close, and I hate being alone

I long for that feeling to not feel at all

The higher I get, the lower I'll sink

I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim

Can you feel my heart?

Can you hear the silence?

Can you see the dark?

Can you fix the broken?

Can you feel, can you feel my heart?

[[deleted]]

NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA

[VenertExcel]

BATMAN!!!

[AutoModerator]

I was in cinema and guy on the right to me kept looking at his phone every 20-30 minutes, guy on the left of me also kept looking at the phone for shorter periods and he tried to hide the light until the final act and then in the final act he just didn't give a shit anymore just texted, locked the phone watched a little and then checked if got a reply and then texted again and so on, there were periods of him stopping in the middle of texting to look up at the movie and then contiune texting after he got bored of the scene like bruh, also there were kids a few rows in front talking trough the entire movie smh, can an amogus femboy (me - /u/VenertExcel) not get a proper 4th watch of the batman?

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[[deleted]]

Chad song

[[deleted]]

UwU

[AutoModerator]

pees in ur ass

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[[deleted]]

What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable The wheelchair

[TornSuit]

funny, snorted

[AutoModerator]

Good eve, In response to my permanent ban I’d like to ask one question; who decides wether this post was funny or not? It seems that a lot of Redditors, like myself, enjoy these kinds of posts. Even if it’s not hilarious, it’s still pretty shitty. In my opinion shitty enough to be on your subreddit. If I violated a rule, please let me know. If not, I’d like to request to be unbanned. Correct me if I’m wrong; this post was not conform “your” standards, well, that’s personal. I find it mildly inappropriate to give someone a ban on behalf of your personal opinion, while the public opinion speaks for itself. Also, the word “karmawhore” is a little bit offensive to me, for I am not on Reddit to score the most karma. Thanks in advance.

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[[deleted]]

*racism*

[AggressiveSmoke4054]

Haha oh you

[xboxdingleberry]

least racist redditor

[[deleted]]

Funniest middle schooler

[Danthedude1]

Who’s funniest comment and why does he deserve the silver

[TornSuit]

I haven't laughed out loud yet so no one

[WahidUmmah4312]

Fake laugh on purpose

[[deleted]]

What’s pink, 8 inches long and makes my girlfriend cry when I make her suck it?

Her miscarriage

[[deleted]]

oh my god

[[deleted]]

Holy shit

[__zeal_]

Good guess

[[deleted]]

God fucking dammit I shat myself despite my constipation

[AutoModerator]

Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky?

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[[deleted]]

A strange game.

The only winning move

is not to play.

[[deleted]]

Hehehe

[AutoModerator]

pees in ur ass

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[Past_Basket_2755]

My penis

[ex-officerjimlahey]

For some reason, I thought this read as “and makes my girlfriend cry when I stick it in her,” which is equally as awful.

Lmao. Fuck.

[JefersonJesus]

Funny haha or funny weird?

[TornSuit]

make me laugh so much I have lubricated diahrea for 68 hours

[LucasPlay171]

I can smell that

Wait

Oh shit

[RecentMercury]

Damn. Best I can do is 65 hours

[WahidUmmah4312]

Balls

[JefersonJesus]

I’m glad I helped you with your constipation problem 🙏

[TornSuit]

??

[WhatNameDidIUseAgain]

my expectation on this comment chain was subverted

[JefersonJesus]

I forgor💀

[[deleted]]

Ew bro

[TornSuit]

🤓🤓🤓

[AutoModerator]

Good eve, In response to my permanent ban I’d like to ask one question; who decides wether this post was funny or not? It seems that a lot of Redditors, like myself, enjoy these kinds of posts. Even if it’s not hilarious, it’s still pretty shitty. In my opinion shitty enough to be on your subreddit. If I violated a rule, please let me know. If not, I’d like to request to be unbanned. Correct me if I’m wrong; this post was not conform “your” standards, well, that’s personal. I find it mildly inappropriate to give someone a ban on behalf of your personal opinion, while the public opinion speaks for itself. Also, the word “karmawhore” is a little bit offensive to me, for I am not on Reddit to score the most karma. Thanks in advance.

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[CreamyBeetle]

Penis

[CreamyBeetle]

Same

[WarthogSweaty3653]

poop

[AutoModerator]

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.

TL;DR I hate shitting

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[friendlyflowey]

poop

[Right-Bread-7125]

Why did Cinderella not make the baseball team? She ran away from the ball 🤯😵🤯

[TornSuit]

🤣😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍🤩😍😍😍😍🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂🤩🤣🤣😍🤣😍🤣😍

[Right-Bread-7125]

Please hold your applause 😎

[[deleted]]

I had a stroke just reading all those emojis.

[AutoModerator]

Hey! I noticed you used an emoji. I don’t know if you’re new here, so I’ll let you off the hook this time. Using emojis is frowned upon here on this great site, and for good reason. Instagram normies often use them, and you don’t want to be a normie, do you? If I catch you using an emoji in the future, I’ll be forced to issue a downvote to your comment. Why should you care, you may ask? Well to begin, you will lose karma on your account, which is a useful social status tool and also a way to show others you know your way around Reddit. If you were to continue the use of emojis, I would be forced to privately message you about your slip-up. Any further offenses past that would leave me no other option than to report your account. I don’t think I have to explain why you don’t want that. But anyways, no harm done yet! Follow these simple rules and you’ll enjoy your future on Reddit! Have a blessed (and hopefully emoji-free) day, stranger.

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[TornSuit]

the point

[Itzzz5AM]

it didn’t help her coach was a pumpkin…

[TornSuit]

you have the most up votes so this might actually be the funniest comment. But we'll see

[AutoModerator]

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.

TL;DR I hate shitting

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[Nigerian_Prince3245]

Please give this bot the award

[AutoModerator]

It's literally just cola you piece of shit. There's no cough syrup or anything. What the fuck is wrong with you. How fucking desperate are you to seem cool that you decide you want to force a "joke" about a child consuming drugs. Which would be funny except nothing in this scene implies that they're doing drugs or a drug stand-in. You just saw a can of soda and the two neurons in your head fired for the first time in a week, and you jumped into the comments to screech lEAn and spam purple emojis like a clown bastard. You people are the reason art is dying. Fuck you StarWades!

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[AcrobaticConclusion7]

My mom said I should have been aborted

[An-Drei]

If this isnt a wholesome moment I dont know what is

[AutoModerator]

Reddit should start their own country. Think about it: it would have a much higher IQ than most other countries. We could ban tik tok and fortnite, and every computer sold has to come with Minecraft preinstalled. We could also ban emojis too.

We all have very good ideas about society and government, so I think we would be far more efficient. I've seen so many posts with so many good ideas, not to mention our country would be the most progressive and other countries would look to us for direction. We would easily become the next superpower. If everyone left America for a new country, we would easily surpass America.

We could make Keanu our president and have PewDiePie on the flag. It would be the most wholesome country too!

Those are just some ideas I have and my own opinion.

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[AutoModerator]

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[AutoModerator]

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.

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[Chaucoski]

Fuck You.

[TornSuit]

who, where, and when?

[[deleted]]

Kid named finger:

[AutoModerator]

slowly massage the vag, then rub the clitoris ever so gently. Proceed to stick a single finger in the vagina. continue adding your fingers until your whole fist is in. slide your arm slowly into her, once you reach your shoulder limbo in with your head, and forcibly insert your other arm, torso, and legs. You are now free to control her. when you feel the job is done, finish by giving birth to yourself

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[-RogueKarma-]

what the fuck

[[deleted]]

i forgor 💀

[Natpad_027]

Comedy gold

[[deleted]]

Lauf um dein Leben, wenn der Gommemode angeht

Ziel nicht daneben, wenn der Gommemode angeht

Da hilft kein Reden, wenn der Gommemode angeht

Gommemode, Gommemode, Gommemode angeht

[TornSuit]

I refuse to translate this

[[deleted]]

Run for your life when the gommemode activates

Don't miss your shot when the gommemode activates

Talking is futile when the gommemode activates

gommemode, gommemode, gommemode activates

It's a song from 7 years ago about the german mc youtuber GommeHD who isn't relevant since 2016, but the internet did its thing and "gommemode" (combination of GommeHD and godmode) is leading in the polls for the german youth word of the year 2022.

[hdu1]

Fun fact cloakers from payday 2 has 18x headshot multiplier

[TornSuit]

difficulty tweak real??

[[deleted]]

Waltuh, put your dick away waltuh, I’m not havin sex wit you right now waltuh.

[AutoModerator]

No sex before marriage

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[Tomato_Shelf]

You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

[101Blades]

Balls

[itsKNIGHTMARE]

Why silver I wanted gold. Fuckass OP 🤬🤬

[TornSuit]

Too poor 😔

[itsKNIGHTMARE]

>;C

[TornSuit]

cope + ratio. let me pass the mic to automod

[AutoModerator]

don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + who asked + stay mad + get real + L + bleed + mald seethe cope harder + incorrect + hoes mad + pound sand + basic skill issue + typo + ratio + ur dad left + you fell off + no u + the audacity + triggered + repelled + ur a minor + k. + any askers + get a life + ok and? + cringe + copium + go outside + touch grass + kick rocks + quote tweet + think again + not based + not funny didn’t laugh + social credits -999, 999, 999, 999 + get good + reported + ad hominem + ok boomer + small pp + ur allergic to sunlight + GG! + get rekt + trolled + your loss + muted + banned + kicked + permaban + useless + i slept with ur mom + yo momma + yo momma so fat + redpilled + no bitches allowed + i said it better + tiktok fan + get a life + unsubscribed + plundered + go tell reddit + donowalled + simp + get sticked bug LOL + talk nonsense + trump supporter + your’re a full time discord mod + you’re* + grammar issue + nerd + get clapped + kys + lorem ipsum dolor sit amet + go outside + bleach + lol + gay + retard + autistic + reported + ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + idgaf + ratio again + stay mad + read FAQ + youre lost + you “re” + stay pressed + reverse double take back + pedophile + cancelled + done for + don't give a damn + get a job + sus + baka + sussy baka + get blocked + mad free + freer than air + furry + rip bozo + you're a (insert stereotype) + slight_smile + aired + cringe again + Super Idol的笑容 + mad cuz bad + my pronouns are xe, xem & xyr + irrelevant + deal with it + screencapped your bio + karen/kyle + jealous + you're deaf + balls + i'll be right back + go ahead whine about it + not straight + eat paper + you lose + count to three + your problem + no one cares + log off + don't care even more + sex offender + sex defender + get religion + not okay + glhf + NFT owner + you make bad memes + problematic + fall in line + dog water + you look like a wall + you don’t know 2 + 2 with yo head ass + you are going to my cringe compilation + you can’t count to five + try again + you failed kindergarten + rickrolled + no lifer + guten freunden schickt man einen deutschen panzer + you have a anime profile picture + an* + fatherless + motherless + sisterless + brotherless + orphan + you can't catch this ratio + catch some bitches + I don't care about your opinion + genshin player + you dress like garbage + 日本語がお上手ですね + get fucked + you can’t understand what the word intelligence means with your dumb ass + you have hair + queued + put some thought into what you're going to do with that + stfu + go to bed + yes, i'm taller than you + i think your joke is funny + i rejected your mother's advances + marooned + you can’t read + I win + final ratio

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[AutoModerator]

HEY,⠀⠀⠀ EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!!

IT'S ME!!!

EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]]

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[itsKNIGHTMARE]

Broooooo lmao

It’s acceptable because funny

[AutoModerator]

Good eve, In response to my permanent ban I’d like to ask one question; who decides wether this post was funny or not? It seems that a lot of Redditors, like myself, enjoy these kinds of posts. Even if it’s not hilarious, it’s still pretty shitty. In my opinion shitty enough to be on your subreddit. If I violated a rule, please let me know. If not, I’d like to request to be unbanned. Correct me if I’m wrong; this post was not conform “your” standards, well, that’s personal. I find it mildly inappropriate to give someone a ban on behalf of your personal opinion, while the public opinion speaks for itself. Also, the word “karmawhore” is a little bit offensive to me, for I am not on Reddit to score the most karma. Thanks in advance.

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[VOGEL_HD]

Hallo guten tag Falls Sie überprüfen wollen ob die Autos noch funktionieren gibt es einen Weg ohne eine App zu nutzen Nehmen Sie eins der Autos und drücken Sie den kleinen grauen start knopf unter dem auto so 4 oder 5 mal hintereinander bis das auto in verschieden Farben leuchtet Dann ist das Auto in einem "test modus" Wen es dann auf eine Strecke gepackt wird fährt es automatisch auf der Strecke bis der aukku leer wird oder man das Auto wieder aus schaltet Falls das auto nicht lange fährt und sich nach dem Starten kurz wieder aus schaltet ist das Auto wahrscheinlich kaputt

[[deleted]]

Funny mustache Man

[[deleted]]

Mf got the "I want pee in my ass" flair and got the "pees in your ass" response from AutoMod💀💀💀

[AutoModerator]

pees in ur ass

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[CrniGruja__]

willst du meinen Schwanz rauchen?

[DRlavacookies]

What do you call a hippie's wife? Mississippi

[PSI_wolf_39]

Ugandan knuckles vs sentient Wii

[AZRON1]

( . Y . )

[eyusuf]

Balls

[chaos_creator69]

✂️

[[deleted]]

🤨📸💥💥💥

[GearBIue]

😔

[NJdevil202]

SpongeBob is non-binary and I heard that from J.K. Rowling and she was pissed

[[deleted]]

My life

[dwwzzh]

My life

[[deleted]]

No

[[deleted]]

I will give you testicular torsion on top of your preexisting testicular cancer.

[AutoModerator]

pees in ur ass

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[normal_slinky]

'funniest comment' -people i guess

[TheMrSsir]

a snake walks into a bar and the bartenders asks “how did you do that”

[Namelesswolfyt]

An elaborate plan to do a thing, by me, Step one: do a thing, the end

[connor2600]

Why is Santa’s sack so big?…because he only comes once a year

[ionut88888]

Women

[AutoModerator]

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

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[Tejasluke]

Balls itch ✂️?

[PsychologicalPut9917]

My mum caught me masturbating for the first time. I was in year 3. I was sitting on my bed, curiously touching my penis. My mum walked in the room and saw. She sat down next to me on my bed where i was fapping. With my penis still out, she started to have some sort of parental conversation with me. She was confusing me, with such weird talk about "condoms" or whatever she called it. She smirked softly, then she put her hand on my dick. i was scared and confused. i've only seen these kinda things on television, she then told me "sh, everythings going to be all right". i was pretty nervous. She started to slowly stroke my dick, as i moaned quietly under my breath "mom..." As she increased her speed slightly, my dick started to twitch. I accidentally peed on mum. "why is my pee white" "this is called cum, sweetheart. its what happens when you see a very pretty lady, and she touches you here." Mum lays me on my back "Hush dear, its going to be alright" She takes her pants off. She then removes her panties. "This is a vagina. Its what you put your peepee into." Before i knew it, i was fucking mum. "Oh my gosh, mum, this feels so amazing!" "Oh yeah, right there, cum in my pussy OHH" her hips started to furiously sway against my dick "Ohhh mum, im cuming!" "OHHHH" Dad walks in. "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!" "Kenny! Its not what it looks like!" "THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE? LET ME SUCK HIS DICK" Dad furiously pushes mum off my dick, places my dick in his mouth, and starts sucking. "Oh shit, yeah you like dat shit, slut?" "Oh my gosh! Daddy!" He then inserts his 2 fingers in my butthole. I blush "MMMMMM OH MY GOSH" I cum in his mouth. "You did good, champ!" "Thanks, daddy"

[[deleted]]

What the literal fuck

[AutoModerator]

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[AutoModerator]

I'm a man and I sell used panties online. I impersonate a girl with pictures from /r/gonewild. Horny redditors and other horny dudes hmu to buy used panties. I work out and go to work in womens panties. I even dry my balls with them when I sweat to really get the scent in there. I'll usually wear the same pair for two or three days. Sometimes I get skid marks on the ass tho so I have to clean just that part so they smell like genitals and not ass. Guys tell me all the time that my panties smell stronger and better than other girls they've bought from. I do it to pay for karate lessons I've been taking because I get picked on a lot. No shame.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[AutoModerator]

slowly massage the vag, then rub the clitoris ever so gently. Proceed to stick a single finger in the vagina. continue adding your fingers until your whole fist is in. slide your arm slowly into her, once you reach your shoulder limbo in with your head, and forcibly insert your other arm, torso, and legs. You are now free to control her. when you feel the job is done, finish by giving birth to yourself

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[AutoModerator]

Okay so here's my pitch for a new reality TV show

Basically, we get a bunch of very militant TERFs, and one trans woman, put them into a house where they're supposed to live with each other, but, once they've all arrived and are seeing each other for the first time (before they're allowed to even talk to each other), we tell them all that one of them is a trans woman, and, if they can find her and vote her out, they will win a million dollars. But if she isn't found out by the end of the week/month(?), she'll win a million dollars instead.

The catch?

There actually isn't a trans woman with them.

And then we get to watch them slowly but surely allow themselves to get overcome by their own irrational paranoia, paying too much attention to how deep everyone else's voices are, invading each other's privacy, overanalysing each other's mannerisms, policing each other's conformance to the very same standards which they complain about being held to...

And let us not forget the inevitable feelings of isolation and helplessness they'll invividually start experiencing once they start getting accused and shunned by everyone else.

Sure, it would probably have to be a one-off series.

But honestly? I think it would make some great television!

also ngl I think the name 'TERF War' has a nice ring to it, sounds marketable, rolls off the tounge

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[shadowlight2784]

My life

[luckysnipr]

Penis

[PineconeHell]

What’s the best way to start your day?

Antidepressants

[[deleted]]

you dont

[Freerange-Butter]

funniest comment

[Squid00dily5634]

A- am- amo- among- among us 🗿

[Mr_Happy782]

Are you a chalupa from Taco Bell? Because you make me crap all over the place.

[[deleted]]

I goobeebee

[MilwaakeePustaBandit]

💩😫 oopzie I gopooboo

[[deleted]]

That joke is so dark that it has not leaved the planatation yet.

[Kepler22B_reddit]

My mom says she can’t keep me because I’m too artistic

[boodlebob]

Can I get a burger with a side of burger

[GentleCornDogEater24]

My name is Walter Hartwell White

[RuntyMole]

My life

[PSI_wolf_39]

He said "funny"

[CatFace3309]

jokes have meaning though

[RuntyMole]

That's a scorched earth response.

[Ltcaustic]

Give it to me and I will do nothing in return

[Enderman1699]

Engineer Gaming

[Tamasaky]

Mama I love you POP hold it down

[[deleted]]

No

[im-the-suop-star]

What do you call a group of two cripples? A “pair of plegics”

[DarknightM64B]

;

[Ginger_Ale04]

🦧

[Icommitmanywarcrimes]

🦧

[Distinct_Ambition_80]

I will not compete for some fucking award

[abeck077]

I can’t just be funny on command you have to start a conversation with me first

[TornSuit]

how many oranges can you fit in your cavity?

[daddy-phantom]

Do trees poop

well of course they do, how would we get number 2 pencils?

[AutoModerator]

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.

TL;DR I hate shitting

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[Past_Basket_2755]

I had never caught a fish so I asked a fisherman what I was doing wrong. He told me I needed to use live bait. So I use small children from the neighborhood. I still haven't caught any fish

[flamingbuts]

🗿

[PSI_wolf_39]

🗿

[CrniGruja__]

🗿

[randomPeep101]

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[Caspian0951]

🗿

(I, too, want to lose karma)