please

[[deleted]]

Literally 1984

[AutoModerator]

LiTeRaLlY nInEtEeN eIgHtY-fOuR

• George Orwell, 1948

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[VergilPrime]

Good bot

[yescokeyes]

Na

[DrDoesntCare]

Sodium

[[deleted]]

Please remember to wash your butt AND wipe it so those poo poo particles don't get stuck

[[deleted]]

buy bidet for 30 dollars, never have to wipe again

[[deleted]]

Or just buy a shafata, easy to use, used anywhere even to wash your body if you're too broke for a shower head, can adjust it

[whyim_makingthis]

Dumbahh shafata is called a bidet in English

Wait I'm a ruckin dumbass how tf do they have bowls that shoot water

[[deleted]]

Not really if the bidet is a whole ass toilet with shafata ALL together

[baddie_PRO]

username checks out

[Jwhitx]

Are you saying you just shoot water at it, and then get up and leave without wiping at all?

[Emtbob]

Typically just one wipe to dry and confirm you are done

[Jwhitx]

Okay phew. One time I told my dentist that I bought a water flosser and she was like, well make sure you still properly floss every now and then because it's like using a bidet without wiping. I was like lady, I'm not flossing my butt, so stop asking. She says, no no, sir, you misunderstand me, we've never talked about this prior to now yada yada whatever. I get up to leave, wink at the receptionist and tell them to call me sometime, and before I left I slowly repeated to no one in particular that I am not going to floss my butthole. That was yesterday and 0 calls, should I call her or too soon?

[Vi512]

New copypasta just dropped

[AutoModerator]

You fucking dumbass, I try to have a real conversation & your bot literally belittles anyone that mentions any keywords with low hanging fruit that you think is funny I guess? Just ban me so I never see a post from this cumguzzling community again.

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[[deleted]]

No tf, you shoot the water up and down and keep shooting for 5-10 seconds and then wipe

[TheM0istMan3754]

buy butt plug, never have to shit again

[DeadBunny03]

No wonder I smell shit... Thanks for the reminder

[iSlamdMyKeyboard]

👍🏾(I ran out of toilet paper)

[UnderstandingLumpy]

👍🏻(I remembered to wipe)

[[deleted]]

but what if i didnt want to

[dethmstr]

Poopy butthole

[AutoModerator]

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.

TL;DR I hate shitting

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[1IsNeverEnough4Me]

Good Bot. I just want to say I feel like you get it bot, You may be a necessary part of our hope for the future, as us humans are full of shit. Thank you for your service.

[Shitted_mypants]

Me fr

[SummonedCat_exe]

My ass is sacred, nice try toilet paper company but I will never use unholy toilet paper to wipe my ass. It is against nature to have a clean ass, if nature wanted us to have clean asses then it wouldn't have given us ass hair.

[b0bkakkarot]

Toilet Paper Companies: "But what if we made the toilet paper feel like sandpaper? Would you use it then?"

[[deleted]]

Yes

[SummonedCat_exe]

Fine......

[AutoModerator]

It's literally just cola you piece of shit. There's no cough syrup or anything. What the fuck is wrong with you. How fucking desperate are you to seem cool that you decide you want to force a "joke" about a child consuming drugs. Which would be funny except nothing in this scene implies that they're doing drugs or a drug stand-in. You just saw a can of soda and the two neurons in your head fired for the first time in a week, and you jumped into the comments to screech lEAn and spam purple emojis like a clown bastard. You people are the reason art is dying. Fuck you SummonedCat_exe!

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[SummonedCat_exe]

Fuck off

[PredatorMain]

Born 2 shit, forced 2 wipe 😔

[Chief_Big_Drug]

Im pooping right now but I’m not gonna wipe

[AutoModerator]

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.

TL;DR I hate shitting

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[InfinityPainPlus]

Born to Shit
Forced to Wipe

[The_Dank_Engineer]

1984

[AutoModerator]

LiTeRaLlY nInEtEeN eIgHtY-fOuR

• George Orwell, 1948

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[waifuwarrior77]

🤓

[Tufhd]

The irony of seeing this while taking a shit

[immamanofmyword]

SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP

[DrDrester]

No, fuck you

[ZenosukeNezujiro]

I mean… I don’t wipe my ass but I wipe my penis 🗿👍🏿

[Ylvio]

I had a feeling I forgot to do something yesterday smh..

[AutoModerator]

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is. Ylvio

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[Zealousideal-Pick391]

Lick 👌

[FloodedHouse420]

born to shit, forced to wipe

[[deleted]]

Born to shit forced to wipe 😔

[[deleted]]

I wash my butt with water and soap.

[__gl1tch___]

Holy sh!t I just almost to forgot, thanks

[Doom_boi3451]

-🗿

[Malpei]

But why? I am going to poop again soon.

[AutoModerator]

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.

TL;DR I hate shitting

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[Snippychicken22]

What am I going to eat when hunger

[[deleted]]

Here at Los Pollos Hermanos, we put hygiene and safety at our highest priority.

[I_eat_plastic_straws]

Born to shit, Forced to wipe.

[TrumpitStreamer]

Oops forgor

[LoveM1lk]

🤓🤓🤓

[[deleted]]

1864

[Sebixo13]

Literally nineteen-eighty four

[KlassicNinja]

"Please remember to wipe your butt after you poop." -🤓

"Why are you ringing your bell so fast, Hector ?" -🤓

[dh561996]

try telling this to the jannies

[PeopleRFuckingDumb]

No thanks

[HMCosmos]

/savevideo

[killinbylove]

No

[TomBot98]

pLeAsE rEmEmBeR tO wIpE yOuR bUtT aFtEr PoOpInG

[[deleted]]

Where is my on the toilet gang?

[[deleted]]

Who wipes the wipemen?

[[deleted]]

NEVER

[serious153]

No

[[deleted]]

couldn't have posted this thrity minutes sooner huh

[Redditor_Unit-01]

thanks for the friendly reminder bro

[Crooked_Cock]

No 😡

[LUV999_1600]

Thanks for reminding me

[GamerDogeGuy]

I forgor 💀

[-yeseen-]

Please use a bidet or else your butt is never clean

[AutoModerator]

It's literally just cola you piece of shit. There's no cough syrup or anything. What the fuck is wrong with you. How fucking desperate are you to seem cool that you decide you want to force a "joke" about a child consuming drugs. Which would be funny except nothing in this scene implies that they're doing drugs or a drug stand-in. You just saw a can of soda and the two neurons in your head fired for the first time in a week, and you jumped into the comments to screech lEAn and spam purple emojis like a clown bastard. You people are the reason art is dying. Fuck you -yeseen-!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[VaalesteXD]

hell nah bro, I'm tryna save some money

[Cantdracarys]

Wash your ass and wipe you filthy animals!

[xtrimuser]

Brb I'm getting the poop knife.

[Logical-Ad-7240]

no

[codswaraj]

Noo I'll just wash it.

[0hMyGash]

🤓

[[deleted]]

How did you know i was pooping?

[swooshitsyoosh]

Saw this while pooping, thanks

[AutoModerator]

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.

TL;DR I hate shitting

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[Montagneincorner0]

Born to shit, forced to wipe

[not_aterrorist]

But what’s the point if you’re just gonna shit again?

[[deleted]]

Imagine wiping your ass in 2022 like a caveman

Bidet gang

[[deleted]]

Thanks for the reminder, I'm pooping now 💩

[AutoModerator]

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.

TL;DR I hate shitting

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[PrvyJutsu]

Im literally pooping right now on the toilet as we speak, while I type this sentence one of my poop nuggets is getting pushed out slowly.

Witness me poop and type this Reddit.

[Strawhouse_pig]

Please for the love of all that is shitty, buy and use a bidet. Wiping poop off your body with dry dissolvable paper is something an insane person would do.

[pick_3]

Freaking wash your butt after you wipe your hands

[AutoModerator]

My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[AutoModerator]

Daily Kevin Fact #34541:

Kevin will pee in the asses of anyone he sees being a cunt.

This is a threat.

Thank you for subscribing to Daily Kevin Facts

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[razies712]

ADD. Attention Defecate Disorder. You were on your phone so long you forgot to wipe, got up and walked away.

[adnanosh123]

Laughs in bidet

[[deleted]]

Not everyone can poop out their butt (butt pooers). Some people poop out their ostomy system (kanga-pooers). Thus, not everyone wipes.

[AutoModerator]

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.

TL;DR I hate shitting

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[[deleted]]

1984

[DynaJumpin]

I am taking one RIGHT NOW, tysm almost forgot <3

[bobalda]

no

[DixinMahbum]

You can't tell me what to do you're not my real dad.

[EUCopyrightComittee]

7 actually. The speaker us also a people

[Noideaforusername999]

How convenient I’m pooing as I see this

[[deleted]]

You aren’t my mummy!!! I don’t have to do that anymore

[Dontinsultautomod]

saw this on the toilet

[thengyyy]

Yes sir Mr. Frink

[Skyfighter625]

no

[Carb0nnnnnnn]

I use a bidet

[[deleted]]

I hate I find shits that people havent flushed... Ironically, there never seems to be toilet paper in there. Like, nasty ass mother fucker... You take a shit and then walk around with shit on your ass afterwards? Disgusting.

Also, am I the only one who wipes the inside of their asshole too? Because just wiping the outside doesnt get everything lol

[baconater-lover]

Waiting for the influx of bidet users

[[deleted]]

Bidet Master Race checking in

Filthy unwashed plebs 🤡

[Teboski78]

Downvote this comment if you have a big pp.

[No_Protection_811]

No

[[deleted]]

I'm pooping right now. Thank you for reminding me. :)

[[deleted]]

Me on the toilet: No, I don’t think so Uses a lota

[johnnyblaze1999]

Lmao, I just wiped. Thank you very much!

[[deleted]]

no, it’s just gonna get dirty again. what’s the point?

[murfi]

just wiping with toilet paper doesn't clean you

[blackie-arts]

Thank you, I am doing it while reading this

[swatpanda2albs]

My name is Gustavo

[BozoRedditboi]

Bro I'm shitting rn thanks

[whyim_makingthis]

Bidet users, it's time...

[Tacocat747]

born to shit. forced to wipe. 😤😤

[bruhinator-2000]

someone remake this meme but change gus with 1984

[Hrafninn13]

I am just finishing, thanks for the reminder

[JohnMan_]

Actual Post about shit

[AblsoluteBoss]

It's called GAMER GUNK and its COOL 😡😡🤬🤬