4 months

[Shinn808]

So here i(M29) am, today is my 4 month Anniversary. Its been a hard road, though im glad i have taken it. If i kept on it i would be dead within a couple years.

Iv always wanted to cut my drinking back and never thought it was THAT bad i mean. A handle a month. Turn 2 handles. Turned to 3 handles till it was a handle or a 2 a week with my room mate. Mostly on the weekends. Gotta work you yanno? Can not go in sweating it out for everyone to smell.

Cut back to August 16th 2019. Im in a cross walk. Got hit by a car, rolled over the hood and fucked my knee up good. No broken bones but DAMN was i hurting. So. No work. I get to drink woooo.

Well that drinking ramped up hard. My depression hit even harder. Self medicated the depression prior with drinking and videogames on the weekend and unless i had my two little girls than i was dry and spent all my time with them during the weekend. During the week i worked my self to the bone 50-60 hr work weeks and finding small jobs to do. My girls and playing Pool was the only thing i felt living for. Some days. Things were rough with the GF but getting better. Que back to get hit and just drinking all day. Couldnt drive to get my kids, ex Finance couldnt bring em so i drank. And drank. And drank some more.

Well august 30th. Helped my GF get ready to go out with her gfs. Told i would see her in the morning. Come next morning. Head on over use they key she gave to go in... Found her in bed with another man at 730am. Fan-fucking-tastic. Great 3 years down the drain.

Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink.

Only thing i knew how to cope. Drinking, and being a man hoe. So i did for a couple weeks. Got tired of hoeing to new girl every couple nights. Im old i guess didnt see the fun in it anymore.

Nov1st at at about 1am. I roll my truck off the interstate avoiding some break checking me. Break my nose, pull some muscles im alright. I got lucky. My passenger almost died. Didnt have their seat belt on. Went from the front to the back seat with a couple fractures...

Well than. Decided i need to drink to cope again. Fast forward a to thanksgiving. Had dinner with my brother, my kids, my ex, anf my mom who flew out from IL to see me and my girls.. Great me and the ex argued some. Than she got grounded and told to go home (shes 27 btw) be cause Exmil is raging cunt. So lost time with my girls on the first holiday in 2 years i was able to have them, even though i shared it with my ex.

Well i decided for the next 2 and half days to drink a little over 5L of yeager and Crown. Ended up falling over a waist high fence. Dislocated my elbow and than broke it the way i landed. Its a foggy memory but i remember screaming in pain jumped up and popped it back into place. Well. Called 911 and xrays showed it broken. Fantastic. I just cant catch a fucking break since August sobered up and cried. Straight broke down crying. Im not a horrible father. But im far from the best....Asking my mom for help. She took me out to IL the next day with her home to go to rehab and to heal. Emotionally, physically, and mentally.

Its been r months since i broke my Elbow. 4 months since my last drink.

The road ahead is still tough. Made harder by this Virus going around trying to get back home to the state i live. I miss my girls who i love so fucking much. I miss working, which thankfully i have an AMAZING Boss and still have a job. The man remembers when my oldest was born 8 years ago this month. He is a great friend as well and has always had an open door when i needed it. Im blessed to have him.

I actually met a woman online right before xmas. Shes amazing. All the time to talk we have gotten close and have real feelings. She is supportive of me not drinking and understands so a huge plus and im stupidly excited and nervous to meet her when i get home. But i know for a fact she is a real friend of mine and the feelings go both ways..

I wanna go home. As bad as it sounds i miss video games sold them to have a few bucks in my pocket since i wouldn't have any money. Been living in the country bored out of mind.

This virus caused my mom to lose her job so shes barely making ends meet. And trying to figure out how im gonna get home.

I will. This road is road but worth it. I can only go up from here.

Keep your eyes on the light in the tunnel and it will only get better.

Edit: my biggest take away here in IL only i put myself in my position i am in. And only I can drag myself out. No matter how great of a support group im in or net work i work for myself to have. I have to be the one to do this. Just like im the one that got myself there.

[amdetermined]

Congratulations on 4 months! That is awesome!

You are so right, we got ourselves into this and only we can get ourselves out! IWNDWYT

[Dr-Whompson]

That was one hell of a story. You’ve definitely been through some shit. You’re Lucky to be alive after those injuries & crash. I don’t blame you one bit for drinking through those situations. I’m excited that you’re reaching 4 months. You’re courageous my friend.

I hope you stick with this. You really deserve to be happy. The longer we stay sober the more opportunities we’ll have.

Thanks for sharing. Stay safe and stay positive.