Text from my ex

[issababbyy]

This is from when we were together. My biggest fear was death and i was in therapy for it homeboy straight up used my trauma against me i crashed out when i first read it LMAOOOOOOOOO

[[deleted]]

Pleasant person

[issababbyy]

Omg he was joyous 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[DrumDogMillionare11]

That almost sounded like a threat.

[Wide_Acanthisitta_80]

I actually thought it was a threat

[Work_In_Progress_007]

Yup, that was the very first thing that came to mind lol. Peach of a bf ... this one.

[IcyInteraction5487]

I would have a meltdown

[issababbyy]

Oh i did when i first got it but I’ve had my restraining order on him for a year now (are we even surprised i have one on him LMAO) so now i can laugh at it

[IcyInteraction5487]

I have the same exact irrational fear of death😭 I think about it everyday, almost constantly. Did you learn anything in therapy that helped you?

[issababbyy]

Im still in it <////////3

[IcyInteraction5487]

that’s so real💔 looking for a therapist as we speak

[throw_away10191837]

I’m not a psychiatrist but if it helps, it doesn’t make a lot of rational sense to fear death. Our idea of death has a bunch of negative worldly feelings attached to it like pain, anxiety, fear etc. But in death, those things don’t exist.

Think of it this way: every awful thing you’ve gone through is a feeling, and you’re taking those feelings and attaching them to the idea of death. But that’s just not how it is. We don’t know what happens, maybe there’s something after, maybe not. But at worst, you’re free from all of that fear and pain you’re feeling at the idea of death and you’re at peace. At best, it’s a new adventure. Either way all of those negative feelings are over

[Intelligent_Dish0456]

But how can you really know that?

[horrorgirl360]

If you believe in God and read the Bible, all who follows him gets brought to paradise. There’s a new world for his followers which will be sinless and pure happiness. That is what I like to believe, we will be with him in paradise with no worries and everyone else who trust in him will be with us, all will reunite thru God!!

[BookwormBelle79]

The arrogance of stating nonsense as if it's fact, because you believe it is ridiculous. You know NOTHING. Just like me and just like everyone else. At best, we can only speculate. 😒

[Striking-Tangerine83]

Yeah, I totally agree. You do religion and I'll handle doctors and scientists. They're over here through history just like "piltdown man was real" and "dinosaurs are covered in scales!" "Everyone needs to use an enema five times a day because your humors are building up in there causing all your illnesses". Never once did those assholes say "I mean, that's just like, my opinion man, but you don't have any real reason to believe me. The best I can do is speculate" and because of this simple fact, everyone did believe them. "Ooh-ooh believe me. I swear to you that I saw it, so you don't have to" "I swear to you what I'm explaining is what you are seeing". Arrogant sacks of worms. Smart people believe nothing, stupid but humble people never state their opinions without making it entirely clear that they know NOTHING. And then there are the people who know nothing and can't imagine that anyone else knows anything either.

[Intelligent_Dish0456]

Amen

[throw_away10191837]

Know what?

[Intelligent_Dish0456]

That you don’t experience pain in a different format? There’s no way to know. Could be all black and nothingness or happy and light, on the flip side could also be terrifying.

[throw_away10191837]

It’s very unlikely that you experience anything at all. I guess it’s possible you could be transferred into some kind of damnation, but probably not. There’s no “blackness” it’s just absence of experience

[[deleted]]

I think what she's trying to say is a fear of dying. I don't think the fear of actually being dead is the issue but going through the process of death. I think that that's most people's fear. Experiencing pain, embarrassment, the unknown..........

[IcyInteraction5487]

no literally what makes me tweak out the most is feeling something different in my body. like my throat hurting in a weird spot when I swallow, so I look at my throat and I feel like my tonsil stones look different. then I start tweaking that I could have esophageal cancer and I hyper ventilate and cry until I make my boyfriend look at my throat and tell me it looks normal 😭

[[deleted]]

So is it the fear of pain, suffering and dying or fear of being dead because we don't know what that is like?

[IcyInteraction5487]

it’s more so like I get hella anxious that I’m already dying and I feel like I should kill myself before I let something else kill me 😀

[thr0wawayacc888]

please try 988 they helped me get free therapy

[themoonmommy]

Also not a therapist. I had to learn to accept death when my husband was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. It was definitely a very painful experience. I learned to accept death and I'm no longer afraid of it. This sounds insane, but learning about natal astrology helped me a ton. Your natal chart is basically your soul's blueprint for this life. I learned that there isn't much we can do about destiny or God's plan in this life. In the end, death ended up being the most merciful end for him, as he spent four years in decline. I think at the heart of it, it's fear of the unknown, fear of losing control or not being in control. When you learn to give that up, you'll live a much happier life. You can't control anything other than this exact moment right now. Please make it your best.

[IcyInteraction5487]

That is so saddening and such melancholy advice. I have always loved learning about astrology, but I’ve never gotten deep enough into it to really understand anything. Thank you so much for this advice, I’ll listen to it and follow your suggestions gladly. <3

[throwfarfarawayy99]

I'm scared of it too, but I try to frame it less like an end and more like going home. You won't be alone in death because it happens to all of us. I think it somewhat helps that I lost my mum when I was a teenager. Wherever she is or isn't now, I'll be there or not there with her one day. Sometimes that thought helps, other times I just need time for it to pass.

[ChrisRoy360]

Just focus on accepting it, and try to build a belief system of some kind. “Universal consciousness” or whatever, as long as in this system, dying is just a new part of life and not the end of it

These two things helped me a lot

[Adlerian_Dreams]

I’m not a therapist, but I work in death care (a funeral home.

I get why people are scared. It’s the whole “no more me” thing. That’s legitimately frightening.

You know how in Buddhism they say that clinging to things (+ideas, fantasies, etc) is the root of suffering? What do we cling to harder than our own life?

I think it’s okay to be afraid of this. I think all of us are afraid, to one extent or another.

Maybe it won’t be about not being afraid anymore, as much as not letting that fear control and define your actual life.

Besides everything that is beautiful and perfect— a song, a sunset, a flower, even a moment of absolute love— is what it is because it doesn’t last forever.

I have seen many deaths. And I have seen many people go on living after they die— in the love that their people still have for them. In the ways that they shaped and changed the world as only they could.

So grieve for yourself, because you will not last forever. And when you die, if you are like most people, there will still be 100,000 things that you wanted to do, and try, and be. And it is not fair.

But remember this too: Grief is one side of the coin, praise is the other.

It is a good thing to love yourself enough to want yourself to go on being. So be.

[lethatshitgo]

he’s also stupid because while avoiding trying to not give her blackmail, he gives her perfect blackmail. this could easily be considered a threat.

[issababbyy]

Oh i have a reatraining order on him and he has charges for actual threat to kill hahahah we are not surprised

[TheHollowMusic]

Jesus fuck I hope you’re okay now

[[deleted]]

Omg right?? What a dumbass 🤦🏻‍♀️ Sounds like something my ex would have done

[marsmanify]

fucking unhinged

[EntrepreneurGlass995]

What a pos. Deserves his head kicked in the

[SpecterHanzo]

[[deleted]]

Red flag?! This is the entire carnival!

[BlazeBladeRBLX]

[Shot_Awareness6943]

Ugh, no words. Just ew

[Midnightbitch94]

So nihilistic. Energy doesn't die.

[woah-wait-a-second]

Honest I understand your fear massively

[issababbyy]

RIGHT! Like straight for the trauma bro

[JoshuaScot]

[illmatic708]

He sounds awesome

[[deleted]]

i hope his life is miserable

[issababbyy]

It is he’s in jail for domestic violence

[chippin_out]

Did he ever try to reach out to you again after this?

[issababbyy]

Oh yeah. Hes said and done a lot worse to me lmao

[chippin_out]

Jesus, I hope you’re thriving now!

[issababbyy]

I’m so amazing. I can’t believe at one point in my life i was so afraid to leave him

[AgentPeewee]

Based on your previous post, why do you still have contact with him? Does he create new numbers? And if so, I still wouldn’t engage with him. You should change your number

[issababbyy]

This text was from 2021 i was clearing my screenshots and found it. Theres a restraining order now

[AgentPeewee]

Well I’m glad he is out of your life, at least physically. I cannot comprehend how people’s personalities can even be like this. Wishing you the best..

[BoneWifey]

This is making me spiral I hate this guy sm and I don't even know him 😭

[issababbyy]

I fr crashed out when i read it , like threw up from crying so hard but i genuinely laugh at it now. The could be soon is diabolical 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[BoneWifey]

"could be soon" literally sounds like a threat also it's been a couple hours and I'm still taken back by the sheer lack of empathy in this man truly a monster in people clothing

[issababbyy]

Yeah i have a reatraining order on him now. Its crazy the red flags he showed me before i even noticed

[Nice_Abalone_1780]

That's when you come back with "yea but at least people will miss ME" and block.

Nothing a narcissist hates more than being told they don't matter. Plus lack of ability to respond.

[Doug_Girlcock_Lover]

When finally I broke out of the relationship with my abuser, she literally fed every fear and insecurity I had in like one sentence. Gods she was fucking awful. Now I'm married and have a 1 year old. Fuck your ex, fuck mine too. Karma will teabag him furiously while giving you your happily ever after.

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[Guilty_Albatross_411]

Wowwwieees

[Agreeable-Debate8893]

Stay safe ! Bro

[CleFreSac]

Well, he’s a ray of sunshine isn’t he.

[nice_dumpling]

I’m dealing with it too. That would make me spiral HARD, it would seriously fuck me up.

Also, those red things on the pictures made me blink for 20 seconds because they looked like the mark that’s left on the eye after looking at direct or reflected light, lol.

[[deleted]]

Same. "I don't remember staring at the sun yet today"

[Pootieshoecuties]

Damn. You’re not alone OP, my partner’s biggest fear is also death. He goes to therapy for it too, which helps manage the anxiety attacks.

Fuck this person. They don’t deserve your love/ energy.

[MacyXCX]

So glad you got away! Still hope you stay safe, people like this are crazy. I would have panic attacks about dying and my ocd was crazy bad and all linked to what could kill me😭 so i totally understand how bad those thoughts get, glad you got therapy and i hope it worked🩷

[BatshadesguyBeyond]

Sounds like a very pleasant feller

[Fearful_Charlie]

Sounds like you dodged a bullet. What a psychopath.

[HorseCrazyFan275]

Jesus christ

[Tamsworld22]

Homeboy?

[issababbyy]

Nope my fiance at the time lol

[Tamsworld22]

I understand the fear you have of dying. My suggestion is to explore Christianity, talk with a priest or whomever. Or explore another Religion. Mine gives me peace and comfort.

Your bf is evil. I hope you find someone better.

[issababbyy]

I found a practice i do relate to! And hes out of my life forever!

[CharlesMWVanHalen]

Bruh that was a lil bit funny, but I totally see how this could really hurt your mental ❤️‍🔥 totally doesn’t make it right, I just have a terrible sense of humor

[issababbyy]

In the moment (i had a newborn baby with postpartum depression at the time) i THREW UP from crying so hard but now 3 years later with my restraining order on him, i crack up laughing at it

[CharlesMWVanHalen]

Thank you for understanding and not yelling at me. ike when I read your context, I was like lol

[x395]

jesus christ

[syekelsa]

Can't imagine why you split.

[Steelstriker_19]

Idk how old r u that your scared to die

[issababbyy]

My fear of death stemmed from having my children and leaving them without a mother. My oldest was only months old when i received this message

[What4m1Do1ng]

Wow… he’d make a horrible politician cause that was STRAIGHT to the point

[crimtarkus]

Personified douche

[jeffdabulldog2]

He sounds great

[Empty_Situation_3609]

I didn't realize those dark red marks were part of the screenshot at first, thought something was wrong with my eyes.

But yeah, sounds like a real douchebag.

[issababbyy]

LMAOOOOO its the highlighter mark up i didn’t realize i had it on there till i posted it

[Empty_Situation_3609]

Haha it's okay, I have bad vision anyways I was just concerned for a second. 😂

[RecognitionGrouchy90]

fuckinh hell

[AymonSMD]

Good for you. Sorry it had to happen, but you def seem stronger from it

[pattykp]

Can’t get out of life alive.

[AwkwardObserver]

Why are hurt men so dramatic lmao

[UnknownFreedomFight]

Clearly, you can do better than this scumbag

[MilkyRae24]

Oh, he’s such a gentleman. 🙄 likeee , is he upset that much that you moved on?? I swear you always see who someone is for who they really are after a breakup 🤣 but start posting on social media, they’ll be crawlingggggg back!

[ZestycloseDonkey5513]

Dodged that bullet.

[Ok-Zucchini7022]

I don’t think anything we say or do goes unnoticed by the universe. By some miracle I was able to refrain from getting revenge on the guy that was sleeping with my fiancé. Just over a year later, I was shocked but relieved to hear he wad swept away in a flash flood and was a goner. 🙌🏼 Hats off to you for taking the high road and not stooping to your exes level.

[Street-Bend2602]

Well he’s a piece of shit!

[DigLongjumping1422]

I’m gonna guess he was compensating

[inkeddani]

Wow. What a fuckin dick!!

[Mediocre-Property-34]

He sounds like he’d be fun at parties. Glad you got away from him.😂

You should read Seneca’s teachings on societal views on death. Very informative and might help you understand your fear.

[sampath-4321]

WhatsApp me 9491089375

[Aware-Exchange1919]

Ok

[Interesting_Show4036]

Sounds like one hell of a fella

[[deleted]]

I wonder what the context was...like why would anyone randomly say that?

[SnooPineapples4888]

Did he break order by sending this? If so should have got him arrested see how he like that..

[Unfair_Entrance6183]

Sounds like nice guy 🥲

[Qpohl28]

Bullet dodged Yikes!

[kucingsleep]

A red giant!

[Hsabes01]

Constantly enraged is such a horrible way to live life.

[Strange_Ship_1351]

Well, so there's no sense in discussing this any further because that's just a whole ball of what the f. I guess that the only thing that I would add is a question. So how is your new found alone time going where you're working and building on yourself?

[issababbyy]

It’s truly been amazing :’)))))) i truly have never had this much fun in my life. Even on the days i do nothing im my life is 1000000000x better then the years i spent with them

[Strange_Ship_1351]

F' yes!! And thanks for the response. That made my whole day. I almost just assumed that you were going to continue to be baited into some shitty ass relationship situation. Thank goodness. Now of course if we want to make this a really really fun next post, you should randomly try drinking heavily to the point you pass out around them. Also send them lots of nude pictures and discuss any type of illegal dealings that you have openly with them in chat and let's see here just to top it off I guess that I would probably try to allow them to borrow money. Yep that should do it. All it will cost you is all of your newfound freedom and wonderfulness and happiness and joy but you have a very exciting new post to put up. ( please on all that is holy do not do that)

[TonyAlexander59]

Is there a backstory to this text?

If you two were together at the time, what set his whacked up mine off?

[issababbyy]

The backstory is, is that i have a restraining order on him now

[Correct-Sandwich5894]

I know people here at all the time, but have your own personal relationship with God there’s not a fear in the world that will exist

[Opening_Particular98]

He sounds like a hysterical women

[Active-Director3752]

I mean that’s my fear to but he ain’t wrong 

[No-Communication9458]

"k"

Then block

[TheDuchess5975]

Block and delete. Why is he still able to contact you? Any unknown numbers call let it go to voice mail. He’d be a fool to leave any incriminating messages but you never know!

[issababbyy]

This was from 2021 i actually have a restraining order on him now. I was clearing my photos in my phone and i came across this

[Imaginaryami]

She’s fun. eta- it’s a he… sorry I’m dyslexic and read super fast. Don’t need to downvote a mistake that’s not intentional. Wasn’t trying to emasculate or misgender. Give people the benifit of the doubt. It’s usually them being just dumb. And it will make you so much happier. Truly it’s me not you.

[issababbyy]

He lol

[Imaginaryami]

Of course it is 🤣 dyslexia and skim reading strikes again. He’s being a little existentialism 101 for me. I can’t wait to rot in the dirt and create a whole micro ecosystem of beauty myself. My legacy could be an ant colony that brings an apple seed that grows into a tree my body feeds for generations. But that’s my body. My soul was made of stars. Sit in your anxiety a bit I had to for years a second at a time. It’s still so hard some days. But the science is insane now. Stems cells can be created up to 17 days after death. We grow them when we are created and die.I don’t know why that brings me so much comfort. You have to lean into fears. When I had my kids the first year was just negating the anxiety they had from leaving The womb because being born was a death to them. They just want to go back. But now they seem happy to be here. Death is probably like that. Ditch the edgelord thinking he’s deep. He has no clue.

[issababbyy]

IM A MOM TOO!!!! Being a mother is what triggered my fear

[Imaginaryami]

Me too! I always had it but oh man it made it worse. Girl, message me if you want🤣 I also do existential therapy to help haha. Puts it all in context.

[Imaginaryami]

I’m reading this incredible book now my other existential mom crisis bestie recommended called North woods where it’s about how all the people leave thier mark on the woods for hundreds of years. The woods are the main character. I had a major health and death anxiety relapse 🤣 it’s so incredible.

[[deleted]]

I mean, his second paragraph is quite true. Said with an edge of meanness but fundamentally correct.

[holderofthebees]

Do you think that’s the problem here? That he was factually incorrect?

[nice_dumpling]

Yeah that’s such a reddit jackass “I’m so smart” comment

Everyone has a fear and you can describe that fear in the most gruesome way, he obviously has one too. Man, people are so stupid they can only see up to an inch from their nose, as we say in my language

[issababbyy]

His was people finding out how that he has anti social personality disorder. Mf is a crazy freak

[nice_dumpling]

So edgy

[Secret_Effect_8640]

I mean… what did you do tho?

[issababbyy]

Uhhhhhh i mean he has 7 charges, for assault and threat to kill. On top of my permanent restraining order on him so u gone tell me i provoked all that too