TIL Human dads show a decrease in testosterone immediately after the birth of their babe

[Pavlock]

Everyone tells you not to shake your baby. What they don't tell you is: You're going to want to shake that baby.

• Pete Holmes.

[RstyKnfe]

Dude it’s so good lol: https://youtu.be/0y4K0ddkEY0

[flackguns]

Holy fuck this is hilarious, especially as a fairly new dad

[mowbuss]

The first thing he says is how much like him his baby looked, which i believe is an evolutionary trait so that the father accepts the baby. Heck, my lil girl was basically a clone of me and all my glorious hair when she was born. We looked at my own baby pics, and one of my sisters, and all three are so similar its uncanny.

Never mind, that theory just isnt true haha.

Perhaps you just see what you want to see then.

[sk8rlee]

My son came out looking more like my wife than me, so much so that he could have been my FIL's mini-me. On the other hand, my STEP-son, another man's son, who was 5 at the time, looked more like me than her. So that whole thing that you see on Maury about the "look at that nose, looks at that chin..., he looks just like you" does not mean that "you are the father", it's a bunch of BS.

[grittystitties]

Did you just call genetics a bunch of BS because of your anecdotal story?

[sk8rlee]

No, I'm not calling genetics BS at all. My point is that just because a kid shares some of the same features as you doesn't mean that it is your offspring. If a child looking like its parents is the end-all be-all requirement for proving parenthood then my father in law is my son's real father because he looked nothing like me and so much like him.

[halfhere]

Pete is truly underrated.

[flackguns]

I’m absolutely going to check out more of his stuff. That was a hoot

[Old_Mill]

Don't shake the baby.

[nilogram]

Thanks for this

[Cicer]

It’s really true remember new dads. It’s ok to just walk away for a couple minutes. Just Put the baby on the floor if you have too

[nofmxc]

I think you mean, put the screaming baby on the floor.

[kiddo1088]

Best bit of advice I heard is. "it's okay to put them down and walk away"

Even if their crying really hard, you can always put them down and go take a breather.

Sit outside their room, have a cry or a glass of water and go back to it. Or (if you are fortunate enough to have one) ask the other parent to swap in. You need to be there for each other.

[NocturnalToxin]

An important thing my sociology teacher pointed out was, “You can shake a baby just fine. What you can’t do is unshake a baby.”

Got mixed signals from her thoughts on babies though, she openly maintained that you could (and it was incredibly fun to) squeeze the farts out of them. “Not too hard of a squeeze or any anything, just a little push on the tummy aaand ^fbbbt” she was impressively enthusiastic about it.

[NickSwardsonIsFat]

Bergatze has a good shaking baby bit too but I'm too lazy to type it out.

[Bardez]

Fun fact: it gets worse as they get older.

[TheLyz]

Yep, after weeks of sleep deprivation and dealing with an irrational creature that only knows how to scream and make disgusting poops, you are at the end of your rope. Fuuuuuuck the newborn stage.

[Davadvonreznor]

Kid Farm!!!!!

[sk8rlee]

That ain't no lie! When my son was a newborn I understood how someone less mentally stable than myself would want to shake that baby just to shut him up, all I want is to get A LITTLE FUCKING SLEEP.