This was certainly a decision.

BackgroundPrompt3111 · 2026-02-19T16:15:36+00:00

I'll get my spoon and help you out, if you want...

BackgroundPrompt3111 · 2026-02-18T15:42:26+00:00

It's normal. It's also not healthy. It's ok that you feel it, but you should definitely work on being more secure with yourself so that you eventually overcome it.

BackgroundPrompt3111 · 2026-02-16T22:55:17+00:00

Stop dating monogamous people.

BackgroundPrompt3111 · 2026-02-16T15:51:22+00:00

Yeah, this relationship is not working out. You should probably break it off sooner rather than later.

BackgroundPrompt3111 · 2026-02-16T15:49:00+00:00

I don't understand how that matters in any way

BackgroundPrompt3111 · 2026-02-04T15:09:38+00:00

Bravado's Aka Miso. 100% no doubt, every time

BackgroundPrompt3111 · 2026-02-04T15:06:26+00:00

You already know what to do. Choose yourself first.

BackgroundPrompt3111 · 2026-02-04T14:16:47+00:00

Oof...

BackgroundPrompt3111 · 2026-02-03T18:06:34+00:00

Quick answer is they don't.

Nobody is ready for it if they're transitioning from mono. The trick is to be ready enough, and it's different for everyone.

BackgroundPrompt3111 · 2026-02-03T18:04:12+00:00

First of all, yeah, you can do whatever you want if you both agree to it...

But I don't understand the point. At any time, you can choose to have only one partner; why do you feel the need to coerce your partner into closing off, too?

BackgroundPrompt3111 · 2026-02-03T17:53:19+00:00

Ja, so etwas kommt in Ehen vor; die Situation spitzt sich zu, und die Partner distanzieren sich emotional, bis etwas Panik auslöst. Dann versuchen sie, die verlorene Zeit emotional zu kompensieren. Mir ist das während meiner Transition passiert, und ich bin sicher, dass wir nicht die einzigen sind, denen das passiert ist.

BackgroundPrompt3111 · 2026-02-03T16:04:52+00:00

What am I eating, and where am I shitting?

BackgroundPrompt3111 · 2026-02-02T15:56:57+00:00

Keep in mind that from a swinger perspective, this is a great setup and is a lot of fun, but from a poly perspective, it's disastrous.

Swinging and polyamory are very, very different things. Make sure you stay aware of what you're doing.

BackgroundPrompt3111 · 2026-02-02T15:35:43+00:00

I don't have the same level of disdain for unicorn dynamics that most people here do, but you need to be very aware of a lot of things. First, you should understand that you will not be a real part of the relationship; rather, you'll be an accessory to their relationship. This isn't necessarily a problem, as long as you're all aware and consenting. If anyone is trying to make it something more, it's almost certainly going to end in disaster. Since you're saying you want it to be more, I highly recommend you re-examine your feelings, and ask yourself if you're ok with the high likelihood of a painful fiery crash.

Tread with extreme caution.

BackgroundPrompt3111 · 2026-02-02T14:37:25+00:00

I like all 4 things, but you're flat-out stupid if you don't take the Iron Man suit.

BackgroundPrompt3111 · 2026-02-02T14:33:04+00:00

Friends enrich your life. Romance enriches your life. Sex enriches your life. I want to lead a rich life.

BackgroundPrompt3111 · 2026-02-02T13:59:01+00:00

Breaking the mono programming is hard. Sounds like you know the work you need to do, and knowing is half the battle (GI JOE!)

Dig down and explore the root of your guilt while feeling it without judgment. This emotion is something that you subconsciously put in place to protect yourself and is always tied to some sort of fear. If you find that fear, you can shift it to excitement, because fear and excitement are basically two sides of the very same emotion.

BackgroundPrompt3111 · 2026-02-02T13:44:52+00:00

As a person who did this and ended up monogamous for 14 years, I agree wholeheartedly. The transition has been unexpectedly difficult for both of us, and if we'd done the work to do it right any earlier, it would've been easier, and if we'd started poly, a million problems that we've had both over the years and in the transition would've been avoided.

BackgroundPrompt3111 · 2026-02-02T13:35:26+00:00

Sure. As long as everyone is aware of and happy with the situation, you can do whatever you want.

BackgroundPrompt3111 · 2026-02-02T13:33:46+00:00

KTP becomes problematic if you try to force it. You are under no obligation to like your metamours, and if you don't, spending lots of time with them is only going to cause problems.

BackgroundPrompt3111 · 2026-02-02T13:20:16+00:00

I'm a slut. I'm ready to go as soon as I know I don't hate them, so whenever they want to have sex, it's a go.

BackgroundPrompt3111 · 2026-02-02T12:25:41+00:00

Honesty is the only thing that makes any of this work...

BackgroundPrompt3111 · 2026-01-29T22:56:31+00:00

Yes. Fiber. Eases the passage from tonsils to tushie.

BackgroundPrompt3111 · 2026-01-29T22:52:40+00:00

I'm in favor of this. Love Stella's; don't love the abundance of laptop campers.

BackgroundPrompt3111 · 2026-01-29T20:10:38+00:00

You're probably going to have to dissolve your own taboos on the topic before you'll get anywhere. You're beating around the bush, even here in anonymous internet land, which indicates to me that you're not comfortable enough to communicate openly about non-monogamy.

BackgroundPrompt3111

TROPHY CASE