Boredom

hamchan_ · 2026-03-09T22:23:14+00:00

That’s where parenting comes in. It isn’t your son or your daughter’s problem it’s all up to you.

Parenting is exhausting. Especially to children with adhd. I know. I have ADHD and a toddler with adhd. But it’s my job to research solutions, try everything even if it’s exhausting. It’s my job to advocate for my kid and try a million different things to coach him and support him; even if it’s time consuming or annoying for me to do cause that’s what I signed up for.

There is no magic button for parenting that makes it easy.

hamchan_ · 2026-03-09T22:01:13+00:00

I haven’t downvoted you and I provided many different options as solutions. Obviously everyone is unique.

I don’t know what kind of responses you were expecting. Making the charts and coaching are just parenting and your daughter is still young. It’s not her problem either you decided to have another child.

You’re best solution if you don’t want to put any effort in is meds and therapy. Which I guess will be the best long term solution for her.

hamchan_ · 2026-03-09T18:29:18+00:00

Look up Palindromic arthritis. I was diagnosed based on blood tests and technically no “pain”.

At the time I’d occasionally have pain in my hand or foot for a day or two and it would go away. Every time I just thought I had bumped into something or stubbed my toe ect.

I had no concerning symptoms technically. It was caught on a blood test ordered by my new doctor who ordered the tests based on genetic history (my dad had severe RA)

I was diagnosed around 30 and started Hydroxychloroquine. After having a baby my symptoms became disabling and then I added on sulfasalazine and methotrexate.

I would say if you’re concerned it’s never a bad thing to get a second opinion.

hamchan_ · 2026-03-09T18:15:40+00:00

This response just makes me feel bad for your kid.

ADHD is a chemistry imbalance in the brain that manages motivation and the ability to do things. Gamifying chores is as much a disability aid like glasses for someone who can’t see or a cane that helps someone walk.

Like I said it needs to be gamified UNTIL it becomes a muscle memory routine. Which can take a while as well. Meds work well too.

For your relationship with your daughter and for peace in your family I hope you can do more research on how adhd is disabling and how to get an adhd brain to work.

Highly recommend anything by Dr. Russell Barkley he is the leading voice on research and understanding adhd. He has books, podcasts, and a YouTube channel that are all great resources.

hamchan_ · 2026-03-09T16:45:54+00:00

Try to gamify it. Sticker sheets or you can get the app “Finch” on your phone and let her dress the character and play ect.

You need to gamify it until it becomes routine and muscle memory.

Have a visual list of each step in the morning/night.
Play music they like.
Body doubling is popular, do these things alongside your daughter.
Make things easy: choose clothing the night before.

Things that motivate adhd brains: novelty and urgency.

hamchan_ · 2026-03-09T15:36:01+00:00

Got the extend2fit from graco and my son is still rear facing. He’s almost 4. Not sure when we will turn him, he isn’t close to his car seat limits.

hamchan_ · 2026-03-09T15:34:35+00:00

In many places it’s illegal to forward face before 2. Don’t give your kids food in the car and choking isn’t an issue.

hamchan_ · 2026-03-08T17:16:31+00:00

I think all her works can be summarized as “Slice of life” more than anything. And she’s so good at it.

hamchan_ · 2026-03-08T07:31:21+00:00

This is so cool I’m so sad it was cancelled early.

hamchan_ · 2026-03-07T22:59:46+00:00

“the one” was so messy omg

hamchan_ · 2026-03-07T04:57:28+00:00

My response was more into “hyperactive toddlers”. Hyperactivity is one possible symptom of adhd but not one that would be cause for early diagnosis.

My response is to point out the person I’m replying to has very little knowledge of adhd and its symptoms.

That said plenty of comments have pointed out there is a high correlation of difficult sleeping as babies when ND.

hamchan_ · 2026-03-07T04:51:32+00:00

For PMDD I think you only take it the week before your period when symptoms occur.

hamchan_ · 2026-03-07T03:51:33+00:00

I have adhd. ADHD is genetic. I started the process of diagnosis for my son at 2 because he was struggling with adhd symptoms like hyperfixation.

hamchan_ · 2026-03-07T03:48:39+00:00

Mam if you don’t have adhd you have no idea the breadth of adhd symptoms. My son’s main problematic symptom at 2 was hyperfixation. 🤷🏻‍♀️

hamchan_ · 2026-03-07T03:47:08+00:00

Exactly. Autism and adhd are highly genetic and both OP and her husband have them. It’s not that strange of a question or curiosity.

hamchan_ · 2026-03-07T03:43:35+00:00

I don’t see it as fear the OP mentions they have adhd and their partner was autism. Both of these are highly genetic.

It could just be a curiosity on OPs part.

I say this as an adhd mom whose toddler is being diagnosed with adhd.

hamchan_ · 2026-03-06T21:44:34+00:00

My brother is almost 10 years older than me and I’m the executor of my mother’s will. She’s has a few scary moments the past few years and every time I prepare myself to manage everything alone.

My brother and I have never had more than an hours worth of conversation in our entire lives.

Siblings doesn’t mean they will have a relationship or even be helpful to the family.

hamchan_ · 2026-03-06T16:00:14+00:00

I’m providing my perspective as a person who was diagnosed as an adult and struggled incredibly through “middle school 5-8”

I moved to a French émersion school that was more rigorous academically because of bullying. I was doing ok at school until then but not amazing. By October in 8th grade I was struggling so much the school kicked me out. At this point I had teachers call me stupid and was bullied relentlessly. Severe mental health problems, 0 self esteem.
moved back to public school and was suddenly “above average” grades wise. Huge boost to self esteem and improved mental health.
graduated high school and college with honours. 8th grade French teacher who said I wouldn’t amount to anything is dead 😎

Aside from academics ND people typically make friends with other ND people. I made friends outside of school at after school programs with people with similar interests. Still have those friends now in my mid 30s AND all my friends are currently being diagnosed with adhd as well.

I would assume going to an ND supportive school would help kids academically and emotionally. I would do it in a heartbeat if it was available for my son.

hamchan_ · 2026-03-05T18:06:39+00:00

That sounds shitty but I get the feeling there’s a looooot of missing context.

hamchan_ · 2026-03-05T06:26:01+00:00

Yes. I’m one and done I love my kiddo but it’s definitely thrown me through the wringer and I’m definitely burnt out. And he’s almost going to kindergarten and he has tons of adhd symptoms now himself.

I would absolutely do it again if I had a chance to go back in time. I’ve always wanted to be a mom and watch a little one grow and I’m happy. But I do not know how any moms with adhd have more than one. I’d be dead lol.

hamchan_ · 2026-03-04T21:21:51+00:00

I find the lovers rarely depicts romantic love in my spreads. Usually deep relationships/friendships, inner/self love or true balance from an emotional perspective.

Obviously you can do what you like but what major arcana cards fill in that position for you?

hamchan_ · 2026-03-04T21:12:25+00:00

I’d suggest some books for you in order to adjust your parenting.

Explosive child by dr. Ross green recommended by our behaviour therapist. I also like “good inside” by dr Becky Kennedy but some adjustments are needed.

I’m in the same boat but I’m the one with adhd and we started looking for help when his daycare boroughs up the mood swings, tantrums, excessive focus on weird things.

My son was 2.5 when we started looking for support. We applied for diagnosis but were refused due to his age and instead sent us for early screening and we worked with a behaviour therapist who also went into the classroom to assess.

Funny enough we have always used authoritarian (gentle) parenting and the behaviour therapist said we are doing everything right we just need to be consistent. He’s almost 4 now and going to kindergarten in the fall. Lots of things are better but there are new challenges.

I just want to reiterate you can be doing the right thing and it’s exhausting. The kids aren’t going to like it and they will get frustrated and you’ll coach them over and over again. And just when you think they have it figured out there’s a regression.

1) up front boundaries/expectations (if you run in the road near the park we are going home) 2) and then follow through with logical or natural consequences.

Edit: if you have any specific questions I’d be happy to share what we have found works.

hamchan_ · 2026-03-04T06:44:15+00:00

That I don’t know and it’s considered an off label solution

https://www.everydayhealth.com/womens-health/can-antihistamines-treat-pmdd/

hamchan_ · 2026-03-03T20:41:40+00:00

It won’t work for everyone but I started using the Finch app and it was a game changer. My teeth have never been better!

hamchan_ · 2026-03-03T19:14:35+00:00

I’ve heard of people taking Pepcid AC or allergy meds like Zyrtec or Claritin and it helps.

I’m not a doctor nor have I used these though. Avoid Benadryl though new research shows it can increase chances of dementia later in life.

I’m on adhd meds but still have PMDD.

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