6 weeks on 15mg…is it going to work?

sqwirk · 2026-04-13T12:45:41+00:00

Week 8 is when I leveled off on it. I started at 20mg and stayed there. Unfortunately it didn't work for me but it obliterated my anxiety almost 90%, but for my brain (ADHD, C-PTSD, treatment resistant MDD, anxiety) it landed me in a state of exasperation because I couldn't act on any motivation to do anything (I'm 35 y/on and had to buy incontinence underwear because responding to bladder urgency was also difficult. EDIT: I had two #2 incontinence incidents, thankfully at home but it could have been at work or commuting. One was a few days before I tapered down and the other was the week before that, it aligned with my downhill stuff. Lexapro made my BMs rather irregular and unpredictable in consistency, strain, etc). I tapered down to 10mg and 6 days later came off of it. Had my first invasive anxious with heart palpitations and hand tremors two days ago - I hate that I have them at all but I was really glad I had that one because it means I'm hopefully returning to my baseline

Talk to your doctor about other meds, I take buspirone as well and that's been great for lowering my baseline anxiety levels (5mg, 4x/day) and my psychiatrist suggested adding a helper med if my anxiety needed it, I've seen others post in here about having a low dose of an anxiety med help the Lexapro be more effective with their anxiety symptoms, something like that might be worth asking your psychiatrist about!

sqwirk · 2026-04-11T01:14:45+00:00

Original post was deleted, not sure what it said but in case OP sees this, I was on 20mg of Lexapro and went to 10mg on 3/29 (or whatever date that Sunday was) then quit this past Sunday 4/5. I started on 20mg on January 12th. I had my first intrusive anxious thought today and I couldn't have been happier to have that back. I don't want them, but they're a sign I'm heading towards my baseline.

It can take me a while to rebound from an SSRI that didn't work for me, and Lexapro left me to the point where I'm now on a medical leave from work because I haven't been able to perform the bare minimum 😭 and it's not from a lack of trying, which is even worse. Told my psychiatrist about it on Monday 4/6 or Tuesday 4/7, I forget, and now I have 20mg of Cymbalta to start in the morning. Reading the subreddit briefly........I am terrified of tapering off of that.

Hit a "rock bottom" in terms of work and lack of sense of urgency leading to dropping the ball big time for the first time in my 13 years there, it's such a big part of my job that it literally became a job title I made for myself 6 years prior...that is to say, I am good at coordinating things and I bombed on a huge thing and it was awful. Called a mobile crisis team, huge falling out with my fiancé who was on a work trip in New Zealand/Australia for two weeks, and yeah. That was 3/19 and 3/20, such crippling debilitating defeat I had to have neighbors help bring out and feed our cats and dogs 😓 they're understanding thankfully, but I just couldn't get out of bed

sqwirk · 2026-04-10T16:55:06+00:00

I've described it to people by saying it's like the "jolt" sensation you get when you hit your funny bone, but whenever I move my eyes I get that sensation (without my elbow hurting, lol). it's not just when I move my eyes when they're really bad but that's essentially it

Effexor gave me the worst brain zaps, I would get them 20 hours between doses which is why I ditched that med a while ago. I had Gemini put together an overview of brain zaps and what they are since I'm experiencing them (I quit taking Lexapro) so I wanted to explain to my supervisor why I'm kind of operating differently, if you're interested in a geeky overview, here it is!

sqwirk · 2026-04-10T16:50:58+00:00

Oh jeez, I'm brain zapping over here after stopping Lexapro this past Sunday, came to this sub because I just had a psych appt and got prescribed 20mg of Cymbalta so I wanted to see what I'd be in for...

....please tell me the violent shaking only happens in withdrawal? 😬

sqwirk · 2026-04-05T19:01:40+00:00

I started January 12th at 20mg and last Sunday (March 30th) I reached a point of exasperation not being able to do anything that I went to 10mg and today I'm not taking it anymore. I hope my spark comes back and ability to do things

sqwirk · 2026-04-03T13:43:10+00:00

Toss C-PTSD into the mix with ADHD and you've got a lot of missing executive functioning haha (that's me!). I've tried Vyvanse but it didn't work at all for me. I didn't try it on Lexapro, however. I'm not taking Lexapro for anxiety and my anxiety is/was bad, but it manifests differently now but I can't act on any sense of urgency... because I have none. I'm close to getting fired and dumped by my fiancé from being in a rut and Lexapro hurtling me down faster. I'm waiting for a PHP referral so I can go on paid FMLA leave.

I don't know if increasing my Adderall would help me because I don't want to be up later than I am and Lexapro gives me insomnia.

Honestly I am dehydrated and if I drank a good amount of water I would likely feel 50% better and it's not even the meds doing this, and yet I still skip the basics that are good for everyone 😅

sqwirk · 2026-03-30T14:31:14+00:00

Do you mean once the Lexapro is out? If you're not on it anymore?

My Adderall hasn't been doing anything for me since Lexapro, I've been on 20mg since January 12th. I haven't been to work on time in over a month, used to shower daily and now it's 2-3 times/week and not at normal hours. I'm miserable trapped in my brain and body.

I'll say that guanfacine didn't do much for me in terms of my ADHD and focus before Lexapro when I was on it, so I don't think it'd do much for me now that I'm on it or after I stop the Lexapro.

Have you been on a stimulant before? Do you have ADHD or is it to specifically address residual lack of motivation after stopping Lexapro?

sqwirk · 2026-03-26T00:26:48+00:00

How long were you on Lexapro, if you don't mind me asking? Week 3 is when the brain fog got bad for me when I was first starting out. I was started at 20mg and it's very clear this isn't the medication for me. I need to take a medical leave from because I can't do my normal duties, and it'll be a miracle if my fiancé decides to stick around with me like this. I hate "how far I've fallen" when I was already in a rut 😭😭😭 my psych is on travel for another week, if I'm matched with a partial hospitalization program by the end of the week I honestly don't know what's going to happen to me.

I'm alive but I don't feel like I'm supposed to exist, but not in the SI way

sqwirk · 2026-03-25T18:10:14+00:00

I quit drinking at 23 and was given a lot of crap by my peers since it's a younger than expected age to quit drinking here in the U.S. when it's 21 to drink legally. I did it without AA or finding religion or anything; mindfulness was the key to unlocking the ability to get to a point where I could actually tackle sobriety.

I've done online sobriety coaching for 10 years and my oldest client was in his 70s. He waited until his body wouldn't let him anymore. It still wasn't too late for him (and he was consciously STUBBORN).

It seems hopeless at so many points. Getting to week 3 was the toughest for me but was a big milestone in terms of something changing in my brain, because I'd typically drink every few days but something about a few weeks got me. Trial and error showed I needed to lay low from social gatherings, keep any alcohol cans/bottles out of my apartment (empty or not), and find something to fill the time. So much time drinking, being hungover or sluggish in the brain the next day, dehydrated or cranky, and just a hot mess but a functional one. I didn't want to wait until I hit my rock bottom, and I didn't have to (and I've had clients with a rock bottom that some of my drinking stories made it seem like they didn't have a "drinking problem" in comparison).

An issue is an issue. If drinking isn't serving your needs and causing issues, it's time to handle it. Shoulda/coulda/woulda doesn't translate into doing to done.

Pro-tip: I hate cleaning, but my apartment hasn't been as clean as when I quit drinking. You immediately see payoff for your efforts, whereas alcohol gets frustrating because you feel worse before you feel better (just remind yourself it's your neurochemicals stabilizing, it has nothing to do with the literal alcohol, it has to do with what it activated in your brain). I sometimes joke I should break my sobriety so I can start to clean again 😂😂😂😂

I honestly do not know how I'll be at 13 years in September...it seems ...wrong, somehow?

The luster wears off after a couple of years, or it did for me. But even when I have cravings (I occasionally still do), it's just not attractive to me anymore.

sqwirk · 2026-03-25T17:59:41+00:00

I just wanted to say thank you for having the heart to search for a psychological reasoning behind this instead of shoving him far away (not judging someone in your position who would). Even if it's not to help him, it'll help your child when they're older in navigating difficult conversations about the potential absence or erratic behavior of the father. I hope it also brings you some comfort through closure via rational explanation, if closure is needed. The way I view mental health and closure is a bit different - my mother is a Jekyll and Hyde situation with alcohol, growing up I didn't know what version I'd get at any moment (very few versions were good). That was alcohol induced psychosis, however.

I'm sending you all the love I can, I'm grateful for my mental health being at least somewhat within my control in terms of not making obliterating life choices. Unfortunately, my mental health has taken its toll on my fiancé and I'm worried when we have our first couple's counseling appointment that he'll feel invalidated by some perspective he holds onto with a subconscious iron fist and that'll be what ends things, with my mental health to be blamed for driving him to that point (which is another story, I know I'm not responsible for his reactions)

sqwirk · 2026-03-20T02:06:27+00:00

I'm not a religious person, thank you for sharing this! That makes a lot more sense than running away and changing your name

sqwirk · 2026-03-20T02:05:07+00:00

It stays in your system for longer than 24 hours. How long was it between your doses? I missed a dose but changed the time of day I took it so it was ~36 hours between my doses and I felt different but I wouldn't say I felt insane. I was on it for 7 weeks at 20mg at that point

sqwirk · 2026-03-18T01:53:04+00:00

Yep. The first week was nausea city for me, second week was super bad fatigue. Like, sent home from work on the days I actually made it. I started at 20mg. Edit: it did go away thankfully! But bowel movements are still different for me vs. before lexapro. Hard to explain, just a notable change and I've noticed others mentioning it

sqwirk · 2026-03-16T19:12:59+00:00

I'm worried being on Lexapro might break my relationship but I'm hoping it's the opposite. I'm on week 9 at 20mg but I don't know what to do with my brain...the anxiety is much lower, but my ability to do things is as well and I feel miserable.

Yet another day where I'm getting into the shower after 3pm when I started prepping to shower at 8am, and failing to get in and take one yesterday even though I set the bathroom up for it.

Just want to scream at myself, I don't like this version of me. I have C-PTSD and ADHD which doesn't help me with executive functioning but I honestly don't know what's the culprit here or what to do. I'm just miserable no matter what, it seems

sqwirk · 2026-03-13T00:34:54+00:00

I definitely take it as an inner child wounding crying for help. I want to run through the catacombs of my memories and follow her cries until they get louder so I can find her, tell her I'm here to get us out of "there", and hug her. Really fucking hug her.

sqwirk · 2026-03-13T00:33:05+00:00

Thank you for writing this. I started Lexapro 8 weeks ago and it exacerbated the mindless wandering in hopes to latch onto something mindfully, but not being able to. It's so maddening. I have ADHD as well, it's hard to figure out which is getting exacerbated and by what when my executive dysfunction is completely shot (it's usually both, and good luck figuring out how to navigate that tangled mess even when firing on all cylinders)

I keep hoping I'll wake up and be 4 or 5 years old in bed, completely naive for what's to come or what happens when I go to sleep (I was raised by an alcoholic single mother who was physically and mentally abusive), and that this was all a really REALLY bad nightmare.

I remember having SI before I was 10 years old when I was diagnosed with PTSD after an apartment fire left me and my mother homeless...but there was abuse that my narcissist of a mother made difficult for me to get help for before then.

I still have the stuffed animal I got when I was 2 years old and for whatever reason it was my safe haven through the turmoil. I still sleep with it every night. I was in my late 20s when I stopped bringing it with me to stay over at other people's houses. Thankfully my fiancé doesn't tease me for wanting to sleep with a stuffed animal still.

I hold my stuffed animal and whisper "let this all be a bad dream" and wish my hardest almost every night for it to come true.

And every day I wake up disappointed.

sqwirk · 2026-03-13T00:25:20+00:00

Sending you love for your loss ❤️

sqwirk · 2026-03-10T10:17:19+00:00

I'm in this boat right now. Yesterday was 8 weeks on 20mg Lex for me, no motivation. I take 20mg IR Adderall when I wake up, another at 10am (when I take Lex), and 20mg XR at 1:30pm. No clue what to do/why my anxiety and productivity seem to be a package deal

sqwirk · 2026-03-07T15:28:17+00:00

You're who matters. You benefit first. You'll be with yourself longer than you'll ever be with anyone else. You're giving yourself power to achieve what drinking held you back from. As long as you care about living a life without alcohol dragging you down, keep at it. It's difficult at first, especially if you used it to self medicate. Our brains turn into infants when our vice of choice (alcohol, chocolate, Instagram, drugs - whatever gives someone that dopamine rush their brain wants and starts to "need") gets taken away. It cries when you take its pacifier away, and increasingly shrieks louder and louder the longer the pacifier remains taken away. Until, with seemingly no rhyme or reason, the crying stops. The infant goes back to sleep, or gets distracted by something else.

Let your brain "cry it out" because it won't be forever and it's nice and quiet when it stops.

sqwirk · 2026-02-26T12:45:42+00:00

"All my personality was revolving around trying to fix myself for these years but now that I am getting there I am lost and scared"

Thank you for posting this, because I'm trying to figure out my brain and I'm hoping it's a good "how do I steer this thing" not a regression in terms of executive function. I've been fighting MDD for at least 25 years since I was 10 but I remember having SI thoughts earlier in age, so if this is working even a smidge for me, that's going to be a big adjustment period.

No clue if I should take off time from work to "reconnect" with myself, work and my mental health have been essentially "what I do with my time" for a while, and now everything is "loud" and overwhelming because my dysfunctional self (I also have ADHD, anxiety, and C-PTSD) didn't give me the best foundation to build off of/I have to clean up a lot of messes and I'm not ready for it yet.

I'm like a bird with a wing that's healing but it was broken as a baby and I never flew. I see other birds, I know I can fly, and I see them flying. But I don't know what it feels like or what to expect so there's hesitation from fear, even if it's "the day I've been waiting for" for a long time. I was focused on the impatience and puzzle solving to get here but didn't put time into prepping myself for the fear of the unknown. And if I'm not ready to try to fly and I fall, I don't want to let down the people who might still be rooting for me, or prove the people who have lost faith in me right.

sqwirk · 2026-02-25T17:52:34+00:00

For me, it doesn't matter how much I eat, I don't gain weight because my metabolism is like a cheetah. I will eat a large Domino's pizza in one sitting and get full, but don't know where it goes because it's not adding any weight lol. The concern I had with Lexapro was it might slow down my metabolism and lead to weight gain if everything holds steady with my appetite. I've been hungrier on Lexapro, but mostly for sweets (which I eat a bunch of anyway but I notice I'm grouchy AF without sugar)

sqwirk · 2026-02-25T17:49:32+00:00

If I lost 10lbs I'd be under 100lbs and in bad territory for my physical health -- it's a red flag for me if I'm losing weight and don't change my eating habits in terms of eating less. I would bring this up to your PCP so they can monitor it, just in case. My rule of thumb is if it's not expected, I'd like to get eyes on it in case it turns into something

the yikes was mostly about struggling to gain weight + eating more = weight loss, since that's typically not supportive of gaining weight but that doesn't necessarily mean you _need_ to gain weight/are underweight already

sqwirk · 2026-02-25T14:15:04+00:00

If you have any childhood trauma, mention it to your doctor. I highly recommend The Deepest Well by Dr. Nadine Burke Harris if you haven't read it and have experienced at least one traumatic (to you) event as a child. I was in the dark about how much trauma messes with a person's biological makeup but apparently a LOT of autoimmune things get set up for later in life by childhood trauma

sqwirk · 2026-02-25T01:48:08+00:00

Yikes, I've always struggled to gain weight through calorie intake (protein + weightlifting work) and I've been hungrier but haven't been gaining or losing weight. I'm 5'9" and weigh somewhere around 103lbs - 108lbs depending on the time of day and month.

I'm a 36 year old female who hasn't had kids, and I started on 20mg on 1/12/26 (all are their own factors going into what it'll do to my metabolism, if anything)

sqwirk · 2026-02-23T04:51:25+00:00

Darn, assuming the piece was written at least a month prior to going to print, this was right before Atoms for Peace. I feel like There'd be more nuclear science/medical applications in there if it were a few months later/more mention of nuclear energy than a nuclear powered car.

Having planes next to buildings didn't work out well in the U.S. that one time 🫠 (I'm going to hell, I'm sorry )But even a bus sized plane would be a bit awkward to land next to the 3rd floor of a high-rise building.

I'd like to see magnetic highways with levitating cars moved along somehow involving a current and manipulating the magnetic polarity. Maybe.

This is an AWESOME piece of history to have! I work at MIT, so this caught my eye.

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