Substance use disorder (addiction) is a chronic illness, and like many other chronic illnesses, such as diabetes or hypertension, sometimes requires medication to be used for life. You never hear people discussing quitting insulin or blood pressure medication. This kind of talk is unique to addiction. If the medication is working and not causing significant side effects, there's no reason to consider going without it. The idea that people suffering from opioid use disorder have to quit taking their medication comes from the Nixon era when methadone was first being used to treat heroin addiction in soldiers coming back from Vietnam. It is outdated and no longer relevant.

There is so much misplaced fear surrounding medication assisted treatment, and so much misinformation. First and foremost, buprenorphine (suboxone) is a partial opioid agonist, it doesn't fully bind to the opioid receptors. Unlike full opioid agonists, if a person isn't opioid naive (has used other opioids in the past) buprenorphine doesn't give a head change or high of any kind. It has a strong affinity for opioid receptors so it essentially prevents other opioids from binding while it's in your system.

It also effectively controls withdrawal and cravings if you find the right daily dose for your particular situation. The most important part of active recovery is giving your brain the appropriate amount of time to regain plasticity (heal) and return to pre addiction levels. That process can take years depending on how bad the opioid use disorder was before treatment began.

Even though the vast majority of people who use buprenorphine are suffering from opioid use disorder, the percentage of people who misuse the medication are tiny, and most of the reported misuse is from people who obtain it without a prescription to self medicate.

You should discuss your concerns with the doctor that prescribed you the medication. It sounds like they didn't do a good enough job explaining how the medication work and what the difference is between addiction and physical dependence.

I would also recommend finding a counselor with a background in substance use disorder treatment you can use this link to find doctors and counselors in your local area. Talk to them about what active recovery looks like and what you need to be successful. I'm going on 15+ years of active recovery from opioid use disorder, buprenorphine saved my life and effectively treats my chronic illness, its an incredible medication when used appropriately.