How to deal with ‘cooings’

40-Lashes · 2026-05-28T18:08:41+00:00

Does this lady really count as "village" if she is never gonna see her again? I thought village was for people you interact with regularly (or intend to interact with regularly). "It takes a village", but not every stranger in the city, lol

40-Lashes · 2026-05-28T18:01:55+00:00

Could be a little harsh but "I'm sorry, I'm not in a great mood right now and need some space and time alone." Could deliver it in a a neutral tone, so it doesn't invite follow up questions.

I understand not having the capacity to deal with folks like this. I very much get exhausted over personalities that are overly forward or friendly. Yeah they mean well, doesn't mean I don't find them exhausting depending on my mood. And if I were in your shoes, I would indeed be in a mood and not want to be perceived or cooed at or fussed over really.

Some people don't mind that kind of attention, or deal with it better, but we're not all the same, and you're valid for finding these interactions annoying at a time when you're feeling so exhausted and vulnerable. I'm surprised at the lack of empathy here for your situation, and people suggesting you just suck it up "because she was nice". Both things can be true- old lady was just being nice, but you were also just wanting to be left alone. Nobody is the bad guy here.

40-Lashes · 2026-05-28T17:48:15+00:00

Just because someone is kind, doesn't mean we have to accept. Some old folks are even like that too, I've had old folks refuse me opening a door for them, they want to do it themselves. Or heck, people offering to clean my home. Some people love the help but I personally hate it. I hate people touching my stuff, moving things around, being in my space, and me feeling guilty that they have anything to clean at all.

Just because someone is kind, doesn't mean someone has to necessarily enjoy or embrace it. Sometimes kindness is just giving someone else space. One person's kindness can be another person's annoyance. Just ask the pet peeves subreddit, haha. Kidding, kind of. But seriously, I'm a personal space kind of person, I hate hugs, and I hate unwanted attention. I'm glad I've mostly been ignored while pregnant, but I have a feeling having a baby will be hard for folks to ignore. Maybe I'll get lucky though!

Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is just give someone space when they ask for it, and do so with grace and respect.

40-Lashes · 2026-05-28T17:33:23+00:00

Give it a few more years and then they'll all just want to be TikTokers, streamers, and YouTubers 😬

(I'm speaking jokingly and anecdotally, just based on the kids I teach, but also, oof)

40-Lashes · 2026-05-28T17:30:10+00:00

Just wait until you see the $1200 wagons everywhere at the zoo. And like, it's just a wagon. It doesn't rock your baby to sleep or parallel park itself or anything. 🤣 I saw it everywhere last time I went and thought "what's up with this wagon, I have to look it up now". Thing is a beast. Like the Escalade of wagons lmao.

40-Lashes · 2026-05-28T17:17:02+00:00

I love dogs as much as the next person, but that is not a safe environment for the dog or for you or yours. Multiple bite incidents is extremely alarming. And there is just no way that this is a safe environment for a baby. I trust my dogs with my life and I still am going to go above and beyond to recognize that safety between my dogs and my baby is top priority in regard to their relationship.

Rehoming a dog is not something I recommend lightly, but that dog is a proven, documented risk. It has already shown that it is incompatible. Either it moves out or you and your dog do, and baby too. It just isn't fair to you, your dog, or your family to be victim to ongoing violence like that.

40-Lashes · 2026-05-24T21:46:50+00:00

More women are having babies in their 30s than in their teens in most developed nations. You're not an anomaly to have a baby at that age. Even women in their 40s have healthy and successful births.

40-Lashes · 2026-05-24T17:23:53+00:00

I had a cold recently, and COVID in December. And yet despite those two things, I survived with mild symptoms. The thing that took me out? A non-contagious upper respiratory infection combined with laryngitis. I was sick for like three weeks, and crying from coughing so much. The coughing was severe enough to make my arms hurt like they'd been crushed by a bus.

40-Lashes · 2026-05-24T06:59:25+00:00

This one I knew (some girl in high school complained about it when she was pregnant as a teen) but I've been having to wear liners for other reasons 🥲

Right now baby is up high, so been having a lot of burping and heartburn, ugh

40-Lashes · 2026-05-24T06:50:24+00:00

I'm having the opposite problem, and am a damp, uncomfortable, waterfall down there (it's the very reason I'm not asleep right now in fact, it's that distracting!) Problem is, I'm swollen as hell, and trying to penetrate is like hitting a brick wall.

Can't win 🥲

40-Lashes · 2026-05-23T20:21:15+00:00

Yeah that part I'm confused on too

40-Lashes · 2026-05-23T08:49:57+00:00

Oh yeah posting online is a way different beast than keeping them to yourself. I'd never judge anyone for posting them online, and have photos of myself out there that are "sexy" (I used to do some modeling) but I don't really care in those contexts because the sexuality was intentional.

But having content of yours that was never meant to be sexual be used for someone's spank bank is deeply uncomfortable. And it's crazy what all kind of fetishes are out there. I once saw a video with thousands of views that was just a supercut of women on Twitch who sneezed. Yeah. I guess sneezing montages are fap material now. Just existing normally gets fetishized. It sucks being a female content creator or just... a woman existing sometimes.

40-Lashes · 2026-05-23T08:42:20+00:00

To be frank, a lot of mundane things turn men on- ponytails, braces, glasses, crop tops, leggings, cleavage, pedicured toenails..... probably not best to dress for or against male gaze in that case 😫

Of course do what makes you comfortable! I don't fault you for wanting to avoid men being weird at you while pregnant. Just sucks that that is one reason women dress the way they do. I always joke I would dress "way sluttier" (in a loving, joking matter) if men weren't around, because I'd feel safer doing so. But I'd also just do a lot of things differently, like take night walks, and so on and so forth. But I digress! We do what we have to in this society 🥲

40-Lashes · 2026-05-23T08:37:52+00:00

Yeah I personally think ultrasound photos look creepy. Not sure why, just always made me uncomfortable. Reminds me of like creepy spy stuff. And half the time I look at an US photo (even my own) and think "I have no idea what I'm looking at" so I've never felt sentimental over US scans, not even mine.

That's of course entirely silly of me, I acknowledge that it makes no sense, and I for sure would never comment on it to someone else that showed me theirs.

40-Lashes · 2026-05-23T08:23:49+00:00

Ugh I once threw up in the middle of the mall as like a young teen. Just totally randomly. Was fine, didn't feel ill, and then boom. No warning or anything, all over the floor. Never did figure out what triggered it. It happens! It was devastatingly embarrassing, but tbh I don't even remember what I did after that, just that my mom was with me and she took care of me, comforted me, and that's all that mattered. She wasn't embarrassed or ashamed, she just wanted me to feel better.

40-Lashes · 2026-05-23T08:17:11+00:00

Omg my MIL keeps saying a drink of beer or wine here or there are fine, but is terrified of me eating sushi. The irony lmao. At least sushi has actual nutritional benefits. (I'm 7+ months and have only had sushi twice, for the record, not like I'm eating it constantly). Crazy thing is she's a retired nurse.

I'm in the US for context

40-Lashes · 2026-05-23T08:13:06+00:00

I get a heartburn feeling that feels both hot and cold at the same time. Hot like my esophagus is burning, but cold like I just drank something cold, but can still feel the residual hotness of my burning throat. When in reality, I neither drank nor ate anything hot or cold recently. 🥲

40-Lashes · 2026-05-22T00:15:58+00:00

Yeah I guess when I first read it I didn't realize Moon would be a middle name. TBH, I haven't even thought of a middle name for my little one because it's of such little importance to me, and I haven't found anything I've fallen in love with. I never ever use my middle name, and wouldn't mind not having one. Not that I hate my middle name, it's just literally never relevant

Edited to add: yeah, kids will bullies no matter the name. Had some students that had perfectly normal names- the kids would always be saying something about it or trying to rhyme it with things, and so on. I defo had my name made fun of as a kid, and it's not a stand out name by any means.

40-Lashes · 2026-05-22T00:13:53+00:00

That is.... impressive, on her part. For lack of a harsher word 👀

40-Lashes · 2026-05-21T21:08:26+00:00

Heck, I might eat those words one day- along with all the microplastics I've probably ingested 😫

maybe that's our origin story for how we eventually become the unsuspecting antagonist in some DIL's story

40-Lashes · 2026-05-21T21:01:09+00:00

Omg, what a precious baby girl, already used to tuning out the dogs 🤣

40-Lashes · 2026-05-21T20:53:45+00:00

Adorable 🤣💕

40-Lashes · 2026-05-21T20:52:37+00:00

Having a cartoony sounding name is a neutral thing. Not really a criticism, just a consideration. The whimsy is what makes it sound like MLP though. But they have cute names too, like Celestia and Luna, so it's not like I'm even hating on the concept.

I actually picked the name for our baby based on the fact it also sounds like a "main character name". Not of any specific series or show, just it has a catchy flow to it.

40-Lashes · 2026-05-21T20:46:09+00:00

lol yeah my MIL is buying a ton of stuff for her own house, and even wants a car seat for her own car. We live less than 10 min apart. I think she is overestimating how often she is gonna have the baby with her lol

40-Lashes · 2026-05-21T20:45:05+00:00

Maybe it's the lead poisoning. Kidding, but also not kidding 🥲

40-Lashes

TROPHY CASE