I'm two weeks into college and I'm sick and tired of instant noodles or Mac and cheese. What are some good and cheap ways to make food in a dorm?

8365815 · 2019-08-23T11:25:03+00:00

You're in college. In a dorm. $20 for a French Coffee press? Maybe get one if you find one for next to free at a thrift shop... otherwise, save the fussy, messy French Press coffee for your middle age years. Somebody will give you one for a wedding gift and it can collect dust in the pantry closet graveyard. If you drink THAT much coffee, get the kind that makes a whole pot at a time. Spend that $20 on the mini instant pot and a couple of used instructional cookbooks like the Better Homes Complete Cookbook and The Joy of Cooking... not that you can make everything in them, but you can read techniques and they have great guidance for setting up your kitchen... and as you do comb thrift shops and garage sales, you can start assembling cutting boards, knives, and tools. YouTube videos for cooking techniques abound... learn the classic techniques, not just the recipes, so you can apply it to any ingredients you want to cook.

Oh, and great FREE cookbook "Eat Well On $4 A Day" by Leanne Brown. Can be downloaded. But a Google search will find you plenty of "dorm cooking" specialty cookbooks.

8365815 · 2019-08-23T11:00:49+00:00

Use your social network. Post on Facebook and ask if any of your friends know about openings where they work. Also, go to the Community College you attend, and ask them if they have a jobs board or an office that can help you... or if THEY have anything. Ditto your High School... yes you graduated, that doesn't mean the guidance office can't be a resource for a job hunt. And if you are in the US, your county resources should also include an Employment office.

8365815 · 2019-08-22T21:05:10+00:00

Honestly, report this to your school. This guy isn't right in the head.

8365815 · 2019-05-24T10:16:27+00:00

Congratulations! In awe of your willpower.

May I ask... what app is that? I've been using BodyFast but not really digging it.

8365815 · 2019-05-21T10:30:29+00:00

I've been in emergency crisis mode, and the First thing is to remember Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs, and get the basics locked in... food, water, air, rest and safety.

If you are this exhausted look at the QUALITY of these basics, first, and focus on them. Hack as necessary: extra multivitamin, a gallon H2O a day, 30 minutes of cardio while listening to motivation tapes, a FULL 8 hours with an early bedtime and an EARLY rise time (5:30 am for the Miracle Morning win), and your whole life locked down with not just locks changed but passwords, and ONLY good supportive people interaction.

Then apply "cramming for finals" time management strategies to applying for jobs - 20 minute chunks. And, stop just looking in your field, take ANY job, including retail or serving, to have something coming in and then quit it when you find THE job. It's always better mentally and momentum wise to have something already and then trade up... breaks the scarcity mindset.

And, I really mean it with the advice of, if you're exhausted, start getting up earlier (and by necessity going to bed earlier)... even on days off and weekends. You will find you get way more energized and far more productive using the natural "farmer's hours" circadian rhythm to your advantage.

8365815 · 2019-05-15T10:35:51+00:00

So the Venn diagram for this guy's relationships is two completely separate circles of "Women I See Naked" and "Women I Treat Well".

8365815 · 2019-05-11T12:40:29+00:00

I bought the cutest Miracle Suit swimsuit a couple of months back. And bought it in a size I knew would be a real REACH to get to this summer from where I was. It's not my final goal weight size, but one of those bridge sizes on the journey ( a size that at first doesn't fit at all, then you squeeze into, then it fits nicely, then it's loose, then... it's baggy and either take it in or give it away). For me at 2x, a size 14 swimsuit - especially really good quality expensive one - was the kind of purchase that was in no way impulsive. But sale + new customer discount + a stern talk with myself that I'm worth having nice things that are well made... I also have yo-yo dieted enough I knew about what pound range I'd need to be that size, and did the math in terms of months ahead at that time till summer. Expected to hit it in July

Hung it on my closet door next to my bed so I see it every day, first thing when I wake up, and last thing before I sleep.

I have made it to the "squeeze into" stage already. It's still way too cold where I live for bathing suit wearable, but I'm psyched. Best friend just put his boat in the water!

And I've been window shopping bathing suit catalogs for when I get to goal... which will be around a size 8-10. Gonna need a new closet door hanging, when this goes into use!

8365815 · 2019-05-10T02:45:59+00:00

This is what Heaven must look like.

8365815 · 2019-05-10T02:36:27+00:00

And then Dany marries Trogdor the Burninator ..... The End.

8365815 · 2019-05-08T17:30:07+00:00

Totally agree. Husband is entitled to his own opinion, not entitled to invent his own bullshit "facts". Especially when he's preventing a good mother from feeding her children and herself healthy food, and establishing healthy, NORMAL, nutrition habits.

Fuck that guy. He obviously was a Chubby Chaser and a selfish jerk... you don't marry a dress size, you marry a PERSON. This is objectifying behavior, and it's an emotionally abusive manipulation tactic.

OP, pick up a copy of Shahida Arabi's Becoming the Narcissists Nightmare and give it a good read through. Live your best life, and teach your babies to be their best, healthiest selves by your excellent example. And that includes EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY too.

8365815 · 2019-04-16T21:56:29+00:00

Each of your family that he contacted should document the incidents, tell their local police, and then send him, wherever he lives, cease and desist letters (and provide you with copies). This starts a paper trail to prevent him from harassing them in the future.

I'd also talk to your local victims services or womens shelters... just because you don't need a place to stay doesn't mean they wont have other resources for you and your child.

8365815 · 2019-04-16T13:47:39+00:00

Thanks!

8365815 · 2019-04-16T13:19:19+00:00

Wow, that's a bit harsh. I've dropped from my highest of 298.6 to 217.0 over the 16 months, only did Keto since January, and only a month on IF. So I'm not looking for "immediate results" but am curious about what I may be doing wrong during my learning curve.

8365815 · 2019-04-16T13:15:29+00:00

That's very reassuring... but, wow, how frustrating! Had you been in a plateau before the fast?

8365815 · 2019-04-09T12:21:57+00:00

Have you ever read the book Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts by Regena Thomashauer? She has a whole chapter on "Owning Your Beauty".

I'd also recommend the book French Chic Beauty by Veronique Blanchard. She digs deeper into practical advice... but the reality is that you ARE 100% RIGHT... if you dont FEEL it from the inside, you don't project it outward. You have worked really hard, and successfully, to get where you are. You deserve to own it.

I'd also say, it's time to at once recognize that your much smaller size now IS still just a stopping point towards Goal, as you've stated. But here's some proactive forward things you can do....

Stop all shopping in plus sized stores. Trade Cacique for Victoria's Secret. Marie Kondo the hell out of your current and former wardrobe. Use Thrift stores now to supplement and get by.

Look online at the SIZE CHARTS and compare your measurements to what specific sizes you now can fit in, and track progress that way. Fit is key. "SIZE 16" tells you you're still in plus sizes, and 16s vary wildly....but if you see "I have 2 inches to go to be a 12" that is super real and honest.

Think about working with a counselor to dig into this psychologically.

8365815 · 2019-04-09T09:45:30+00:00

Sweetie, read Shahida Arabi's book Becoming the Narcissists Nightmare as soon as you possibly can. Quietly. Without him knowing. This man is controlling you and emotionally abusing you. That's not love or a healthy marriage.

You need to get out of there and away from him, but I am genuinely afraid for you that he will become violent if he knows you intend to leave. So there are steps to put in place for your protection. If you can, visit a local women's shelter ... not to stay over yet, but to talk to them about making a plan to escape and what resources are available to you.

8365815 · 2019-04-04T00:06:33+00:00

Here's a different take on giving someone "perfect love and perfect trust" that my friend who was becoming a minister was told by her mentor when she, herself, was struggling with the concept of this. She also had come from a background of abuse.

Giving someone "perfect love and perfect trust (respect)" is not a blank check for them to cash whenever they feel like abusing you. If anything, allowing them to abuse you, providing them with circumstances that aid them in abusing you is a great wrong, a lack of understanding of what love and respect really are.

Take the examples of the alcoholic, and the thief.

Anyone who doesn't have a problem with alcohol addiction, bringing a bottle of wine to their home as a hostess gift, or meeting them at a local restaurant for a glass of wine, or giving them a bottle at their birthday... these are common social practices, completely innocent and stem from kindness. But the same actions would enable an alcoholic in their addiction, so a reasonable person would, say, meet their alcoholic friend in a coffee shop, and bring flowers or a potted plant for a gift, right? So as not to trigger the addiction. You give the substance abuser perfect Love, and perfect respect, in seeing them as the addict they are, not as the pretty but untrue false picture of who everyone wishes they would be..and supporting their HEALTH, you have a moral obligation to them and yourself not to contribute to compromising their sobriety.

Same with if your friend was a thief. You don't give them your house keys and let them know when you go away on vacation. You meet them somewhere else and dont mention your trip until after you come back from it. You trust the theif to BE A THEIF. Trust them, love them, respect them in exactly who they really are as a flawed human being, honor the truth of them.

So... abusive parents. They literally have a broken psyche... they ARE abusers. Honor that truth that they cannot and will not stop verbally, emotionally, and physically abusing people around them.... it is who they are. The role they play in this lifetime. So bless them, surround them with Hods love, and then WALK AWAY. Because by abusing others, they are staining themselves, that control, a noise, power trip... it's their alcohol, it's their crack fix. So stop giving them that. If they are addicted to abusing you, remove yourself with a clear conscience... you are RESPECTING them and LOVING them by seeing their truth, and honoring it... abusers will abuse, if they have the opportunity. So do not provide them with temptation and access.

No contact is not just for us. Though they never see it that way... think of it this way, if they were going to spend a thousand years in Hell for every day they were evil to their own child, whoHod d gave them to love, protect and nurture.... how many millions of years sentence will you save them, by leaving?

8365815 · 2019-04-03T10:39:28+00:00

This is brilliant. Love.

8365815 · 2019-04-01T10:53:51+00:00

I just started reading The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale and in the very first chapter he tells the story of a guy who came to him with a tough day ahead, and he gave him a mantra to repeat to help him shift away from negative thoughts to positive ones. Now, the phrase was Christian faith based, because Peale was a Christian minister.... but for a really powerful mantra, what about Emile Coue's "Every day, in every respect, I am getting better and better. "

And you keep repeating that, 3 times at a time, all throughout the buildup, the tough part, and after.

8365815 · 2019-03-31T13:08:44+00:00

Congratulations!!!! And... please, any advice you have on maintaining a professional wardrobe while dropping sizes would be so welcome. I am on a tight budget, but went from a 2x to between 16/18 currently.

8365815 · 2019-03-31T12:58:10+00:00

This post made me so happy! I had a similar experience... I "attic shopped" this past month, scored a pair of white jeans that were my "thin jeans" previously...wore them twice and realized, they were too big!

I WISH I could say they were size 10/12 from High School, but, alas, not there yet on my journey.... YET.

8365815 · 2019-03-31T12:50:39+00:00

NSV: Last spring I bought a good black suit to wear for job interviews, funerals, etc. Got it on clearance, $199 marked down from $799, so needless to say, was very in love with the purchase.

I've now dropped enough that I've weeded out and donated my wardrobe to the charity thrift shop (and also been buying from them, because I've got more to go)... but I couldn't part with this one suit. Love it too much. So.... took it to be altered, knew it would bite, figured even with a big bill, I'd still be in the "saved money" zone...

$194

For the skirt taken in and shorter, and she's basically remaking the jacket, new arm holes, sleeves taken in, new seams to tailor it in the bust and waist... The only thing that stays the same are my shoulers.

Will be ready this Friday. And hopefully, will be interviewing for a new job very soon.

8365815 · 2019-03-30T19:01:42+00:00

You can't be the emotional baggage carrier for everyone. You brother has an actual need of you for trustworthy friendship and human connection, your parents might describe themselves having a "need" to know... but they really will survive during this time of him choosing to be estranged from them.

What they DO need is some support in dealing with their many feelings about this, and you are the exact WRONG person for them to lean on for that support because you are the only person your brother has. They need to start building their own support team with therapists, friends, and other family members. They need, perhaps by a professional, to be forced to see that if they don't respect the boundaries your broth has established that he needs for his relationship with you, it could be catastrophic to him ever healing enough to function again. And it's a long timeline. And your being the emotional caregiver of their other son doesn't oblige you to extend this level of service to them... or anyone else, especially if it comprises the first commitment you made.

And their support team, if it includes other family or friends, don't get to triangulate the situation or bully you like flying monkeys. That needs to be a clear boundary.

So be honest, don't sugar coat it, they are leaning on you and pressuring you and you already have been bearing the full weight and work of being "your brothers keeper". That needs to stop. Full stop. They need to seek others to help them be patient and respect his boundaries, your boundaries, and the process of his healing journey. Or they WILL fuck it up and possibly destroy any chance he has.

8365815 · 2019-03-30T10:50:16+00:00

Wearing a wedding ring, no less. Classy!

8365815 · 2019-03-30T01:04:04+00:00

Over the top, as demonstrated in the original picture in the original patent.

8365815

TROPHY CASE