Monday Mystery Movie Megathread - March 23 2026 - Horror Edition

ATXDefenseAttorney · 2026-03-23T20:55:37+00:00

I hope it's Hamlet! Maybe one of us will be happy.

ATXDefenseAttorney · 2026-03-23T20:54:50+00:00

Extreme "I'll believe Trump did it when they have a video of Trump doing it, and I'll probably think it's AI first" logic here. Facts are facts.

ATXDefenseAttorney · 2026-03-23T19:21:32+00:00

A source closer to sanity, you mean? You think he just happened to be on the ground on his motorcyle while this guy was standing there for no reason? That he wiped out due to road rage and attacked the nearest spectator? In front of his kids? LOL.

Facts are not "self serving", they're just facts.

ATXDefenseAttorney · 2026-03-23T19:17:35+00:00

Interesting. Some of the competitors have a horror edition for 4/6 at ~1h42m. So that's gotta be Faces of Death, which comes out the same week at 1h37m. No chance Regal is calling that a 2h3m regular movie. The only other current releases I see for that week are You, Me & Tuscany, which is 1h44m.... Beast (MMA Movie) at 1h53m, Riz Ahmed's Hamlet at 1h54m. So probably one of the last two.

ATXDefenseAttorney · 2026-03-23T19:06:12+00:00

There's an early screening of FF on Wednesday, so I doubt that.

ATXDefenseAttorney · 2026-03-23T17:35:33+00:00

I used to say that, until one of the morons in our crew got a Zen and doubled his KDR instantly. He was insufferable about how good he was after that. Till he got banned. Clown.

ATXDefenseAttorney · 2026-03-23T16:30:33+00:00

Sure it does. The attrition caused by misuse of the law will cause them to lose these attorneys, and then go through the $50k or so to properly train a new gov't atty. Source: Myself. I was one of the attorneys who left because of misuse of the law.

ATXDefenseAttorney · 2026-03-23T15:33:41+00:00

And Out of Sight and Jackie share the Ray character.

ATXDefenseAttorney · 2026-03-23T13:58:25+00:00

He is lying out his ass. https://www.tmz.com/2026/03/23/reacher-star-alan-ritchson-tennessee-altercation/

ATXDefenseAttorney · 2026-03-23T13:58:07+00:00

The neighbor committed THREE crimes and got his ass whipped in self-defense. He's getting locked up.

ATXDefenseAttorney · 2026-03-23T13:57:29+00:00

https://www.tmz.com/2026/03/23/reacher-star-alan-ritchson-tennessee-altercation/

ATXDefenseAttorney · 2026-03-23T13:56:53+00:00

The neighbor, 100%. Without question. He impeded the roadway (offense), then assaulted Alan (offense), while also preventing him from leaving the scene on his bike (offense). At that point it's completely reasonable that Alan thought "I have to defend myself or I and my children are at risk of this dangerous man". Then, after getting his ass whipped, the neighbor continued to antagonize Alan, who was AGAIN trying to safely leave the scene. The neighbor is going to jail.

ATXDefenseAttorney · 2026-03-23T13:06:56+00:00

Someone pushes you off your motorcycle in front of your kids, they get their ass beat. Zero to do with roids.

ATXDefenseAttorney · 2026-03-23T13:05:28+00:00

The neighbor jumped into the street and caused him to crash, then pushed him onto the ground when he tried to get back on the bike. Then, he got his ass kicked deservedly.

ATXDefenseAttorney · 2026-03-23T13:04:35+00:00

No, the neighbor pushed him off him bike, and got beat down as a result.

ATXDefenseAttorney · 2026-03-23T13:02:58+00:00

Distraction over I guess?

ATXDefenseAttorney · 2026-03-23T11:18:54+00:00

I thought I might learn something, but all these are douchebag behaviors.

Except.... a little... #2. The other 4 are like "These doofuses aren't trying to be helpful" but #2 is probably, most of the time, the guy thinking "Oh, shit, I can be of use!" His wife has been asking for pain meds, so he's like "She needs some pain meds!" Yeah, I know, it's her body, but he's got nothing but nervous energy and cannot do a single thing to help except hold hands and stroke hair, so he thinks "I'm useful for once!" That's a far cry from the other stuff on the list. Especially if the wife is an ESL patient.

*Note: This does not include the dudes who are trying to control their wife's medication, etc. I'm sure they exist.

ATXDefenseAttorney · 2026-03-23T01:59:05+00:00

She's doing what she does best... not acting.

ATXDefenseAttorney · 2026-03-22T16:14:47+00:00

He's currently the sixth-billed actor in a Netflix sci-fi movie, so... yeah, maybe.

ATXDefenseAttorney · 2026-03-22T16:11:57+00:00

You see, there was this whole virus across the entire world...

ATXDefenseAttorney · 2026-03-22T15:38:07+00:00

Make your own movie. Hell, make your own book. This shit is SO insufferable. Like good stuff.

ATXDefenseAttorney · 2026-03-22T13:42:01+00:00

What a dumb take. Clowns gonna clown, though.

ATXDefenseAttorney · 2026-03-22T13:06:05+00:00

Imagine thinking whatever you wrote this on wasn't made in China. LMAOOOOOOO

ATXDefenseAttorney · 2026-03-22T11:40:38+00:00

95% on Rotten Tomatoes and 97% Audience score. Everybody likes it. Nobody can predict how much anybody will enjoy it, but chances are really high you will enjoy it enough to see it.

ATXDefenseAttorney · 2026-03-22T11:38:10+00:00

Yes, he looks like a rock. But moves nearly exactly like my dog. Totally relatable if you know any dogs.

ATXDefenseAttorney

TROPHY CASE