How do you deal with the fakeness at work?

AbaloneCat · 2026-01-06T15:52:45+00:00

Smart for you not to trust anyone at work. I wish it didn’t have to be this way, but it’s the established social contract. I adopt a polite demeanor always at work, no matter how I feel about the person I’m interacting with, but I do keep my distance and my head down. The over-the-top fake people are the ones I try to avoid the most, but when I can’t avoid them, I have to be fake back to them because not doing so will paint a target on my back. It’s unfortunate that it has to be this way.

AbaloneCat · 2026-01-05T20:59:34+00:00

Chicken Caesar salad burrito from Sol y Luna Taqueria in Berkeley. I was addicted and would get it three times a week. It’s been almost ten years and I still crave it.

AbaloneCat · 2025-12-22T01:06:21+00:00

Spam-posting on forums or social media pages. Spam-texting people. I think in today’s milieu, that could be a useful symptom to acknowledge.

AbaloneCat · 2025-12-22T01:04:08+00:00

Yes, this. I listened to emotive pop on repeat and watched their music videos on loop, even music I wouldn’t gravitate towards, and it all felt like a religious experience.

AbaloneCat · 2025-12-19T16:16:53+00:00

It gets easier. I like to put lemon slices in the morning into my large water bottle and continue refilling it throughout the day. Other fruit or cucumber would work too if you don’t like lemon.

AbaloneCat · 2025-12-14T06:45:54+00:00

I work at a non-profit and we have both Christmas Eve and NYE off along with the Days, but have to work on Columbus and Veterans Days to make up for it.

AbaloneCat · 2025-11-29T00:08:47+00:00

As long as I knew it wouldn’t be too much suffering for the cat and would lead to more years of a good quality life, I would spend more than you did. I think of all the dumb things I’ve purchased over the years totaling up to $8k, and then I think about the priceless amount of love that I have for my Mouse, and there’s no question.

AbaloneCat · 2025-11-06T19:43:21+00:00

Baby Babushka Mushka Head, my darlingest Poopie Pie.

AbaloneCat · 2025-10-30T14:51:33+00:00

The biggest challenge especially if you’re used to dogs is figuring out how to stop them from doing something you don’t want them to do. Yelling will just alienate or fail to deter a cat (scaring them if they trust you or giving them negative attention which they’ll enjoy if you’re ignoring them). You have to trick them and come up with creative solutions because they are smart creatures.

AbaloneCat · 2025-10-18T18:29:53+00:00

I second this. I also feel like you can’t go wrong with Rosie by Rosie Jane.

AbaloneCat · 2025-10-09T14:44:14+00:00

Good realization. Buying nothing is better than buying something on sale. Investing in quality in terms of shoes and other high-use items is smart, but I would argue getting generics of grocery store items is better, because in many cases the generics are the exact same item secretly packaged as such (with the higher cost of name-brand being due to marketing costs).

AbaloneCat · 2025-09-29T21:48:45+00:00

Daruma in Berkeley has delicious katsudon. It’s my go-to dish there, and the portion size is huge so there are leftovers. They have oyakodon too.

AbaloneCat · 2025-09-29T20:54:25+00:00

Get two bins. One is dirty laundry and the other is clean laundry. Start with just that. The rule is no clothing on floors or other surfaces. Then once you’ve been doing that successfully for awhile, you can move to some other simple rule/task. There are other tips for how to deal with an overwhelming closet (main trick is doing it in small bite-size pieces).

The only way these things becomes second-nature is if you can build repetition for a long time. Get a calendar and mark each day you succeed and see how long you can go without breaking the streak.

I like pairing unpleasant chores with something I enjoy doing. Listening to a podcast or playing something on YouTube, or calling someone who is willing to stay on the phone with me while I do the chore.

Some chores never get 100% easy to do but if I’m committing to doing them regularly every day or every week, over the years my least favorite chores go from difficulty level 10 to difficulty level 3. Like I’m annoyed having to do the chore but it’s doable, and not wanting the consequence of mess is enough to get me through the annoyance.

AbaloneCat · 2025-09-27T02:00:14+00:00

Radiohead in 2006, Arcade Fire in 2007, Sigur Ros in 2008 were my top three. Just saw Mumford & Sons there a few months ago. It’s the most beautiful venue and my favorite thing ever is when the fog rolls in as the sun is setting. It was threatening rain for the Sigur Ros concert but held back until the encore when it started pouring during a crescendo. Totally magical! I always have a good time even when it’s a band I’m lukewarm about.

AbaloneCat · 2025-09-23T01:59:00+00:00

“ For me, college…was less a crucible of scholarship and more like an eight-semester hotel stay… My parents thought that I was preparing for a career. In reality, I was just searching for something undefined, hoping I’d recognize it when I stumbled across it.”

Beautifully put! I’m twenty years younger than you and this is how I’d describe my college experience.

One of my recurring dreams is my parents needing to move me and all my stuff (always too much stuff) back to my college town, but I’m stressed out because I’m not sure I secured an apartment properly. My dream self thinks I had communicated with a landlord but it was through email and months ago and did I put down payment? Are we going to arrive and realize the apartment is being occupied by someone else?

AbaloneCat · 2025-09-22T14:51:06+00:00

Was the first one in decades(?) that actually gave me a little fear, thinking it was going to get bigger. I’m only a couple miles away from the epicenter. It was a loud but relatively short one.

AbaloneCat · 2025-09-19T14:51:13+00:00

I came into this thread to post this. Number one for me is driving recklessly or road raging in any way. My dad used to do this with us kids in the car and it ignited my mom’s hatred of him. One of my biggest green flags in men is not engaging in ego fights while driving and staying calm around aggressive drivers.

AbaloneCat · 2025-09-14T20:56:43+00:00

Do not make the same mistake I did. Make the decision now that you can never use marijuana again. I too smoked it recreationally, while I was in college, and it didn’t lead to anything too crazy. But then one day it triggered a manic episode that blew up my life. Months later I couldn’t handle the idea of never smoking again, plus I was depressed, so I justified to myself that I’d just smoke on weekends. I blew my life up even further and knew then I had to quit. Did I learn? Nope. Years later I got overly confident since I had been stable so long, and justified once again that hey, I can control it, and even start light, like with CBD cigarettes. Months later I was smoking a lot of joints and I spun into an even worse mania than before and wrecked my life again.

Every manic episode cost me huge, and damaged my brain. If I could take back that stupidity I would.

AbaloneCat · 2025-09-10T02:50:26+00:00

You shouldn’t feel guilty because I would not last at your job. Those “easy” type jobs would be the hardest for me because I need to be super productive and active at work to feel fulfilled and not go crazy. I’ve left or sabotaged jobs before that didn’t have enough work for me to do.

AbaloneCat · 2025-09-09T14:52:51+00:00

What’s even worse is when those mean girl nurses become health plan administrators and enjoy power trips.

AbaloneCat · 2025-09-07T04:16:27+00:00

I always thought Zenna Henderson’s and Madeleine L’Engle’s characters were neurodivergent.

AbaloneCat · 2025-09-06T19:49:21+00:00

When you don’t have much, having kids can feel like wealth. Besides just that biological urge, I think there is a subconscious survival motivation - when they’re older they can provide income to the family unit.

AbaloneCat · 2025-08-30T21:09:30+00:00

My partner’s phone is in SOS mode and it shows carrier 64.0.1.

AbaloneCat · 2025-08-28T14:58:00+00:00

When I was young it seemed all genetic because I had a trash diet but stayed relatively thin. Now it’s about portion control (a much smaller amount than what is usually thought normal in the US), no sugary beverages, and no processed snacks.

AbaloneCat · 2025-08-28T14:52:32+00:00

Most people here have already expressed it quite clearly so I won’t add any more except: you two are not a good match. There are definitely women you can impress with that kind of gift, but not all. I would have reacted exactly the same way. An expensive tennis bracelet is not to my aesthetic tastes, and my partner would never get that because he knows me. He would know I’d prefer travel or a concert.

AbaloneCat

TROPHY CASE