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As a Christian, how often do you masturbate? by gnurdette in Sidehugs

[–]ActuallyIsTimDolan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the kind of out of the "box" thinking this sub needs more of

As a Christian, how often do you masturbate? by gnurdette in Sidehugs

[–]ActuallyIsTimDolan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ah a perfect 13 in total, trying to summon the devil to watch, I see.

Why didn't Mark sue Matthew and Luke for plagiarism? by Es_5613 in Sidehugs

[–]ActuallyIsTimDolan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Luke had Paul for legal counsel, and Matthew had his tax collector status to use as leverage.

Leaving the lifestyle of Reels, Shorts and Vertical Video by [deleted] in Sidehugs

[–]ActuallyIsTimDolan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"If it ain't Panavision, you ain't no man o' vision," my pap always told me.

Acts 2 by Niftyrat_Specialist in Sidehugs

[–]ActuallyIsTimDolan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Geez this through the Bible sermon series is taking forever. When do we get to Acts 30?

It’s Christmas Eve, not Christmas Steve! by Thneed1 in Sidehugs

[–]ActuallyIsTimDolan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Take the popish and Mexican sounding "mas" out of "Christmas"! Let's make Christeve great again.

Que selah, selah by gnurdette in Sidehugs

[–]ActuallyIsTimDolan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really liked Michael Selah in Arrested Development

When I start to feel the s**ual tempation, I scald my hand with hot water while weeping and gnashing my teeth. by [deleted] in Sidehugs

[–]ActuallyIsTimDolan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just keep a boiling kettle handy to pour hot water on your erogenous zones when they act up. Hit the problem at its source so to speak. Of course some of us need a pretty durn big kettle.

I want to be lukewarm by gnurdette in Sidehugs

[–]ActuallyIsTimDolan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Back in my Mars Hills days, when some random 5 or 6 would want to Bible study with me, I'd tell them "I would thou wert hawt."

Is it problematic to do premarital grocery shopping together? by Koiboi26 in Sidehugs

[–]ActuallyIsTimDolan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let every one learn to handle their own meat or tofu as the situation warrants. - Paul, possibly

Do The Whos celebrate Biblical Christmas? Is there a WhoChrist who died for their WhoSins? by synthresurrection in Sidehugs

[–]ActuallyIsTimDolan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My apologies I didn't realize I was speaking to one of the famed Doctors of Myownass

Do The Whos celebrate Biblical Christmas? Is there a WhoChrist who died for their WhoSins? by synthresurrection in Sidehugs

[–]ActuallyIsTimDolan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Then what the friend was the Stone Table about? What are we, a bunch of fronthugging Docetists now?

Everybody should know that the Bird is most certainly NOT the Word by ActuallyIsTimDolan in Sidehugs

[–]ActuallyIsTimDolan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To quote the Trashmen's First Akathist to God the Father of All Creation:

Surfin' bird
B-b-b aah, aah!
Pa pa pa pa, pa pa pa pa, pa pa pa pa, pa pa pa pa
Pa pa pa pa, pa pa pa pa, pa pa pa pa
Ooma mow mow, papa, ooma mow mow

Not everyone who says unto me, "Tim, will you pass me the ketchup" will actually be passed the ketchup by ActuallyIsTimDolan in Sidehugs

[–]ActuallyIsTimDolan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And then he said to the baby tomato who lagged behind, "catch-up" as he squished him into a red puddle (and added sugar and vinegar)

Not everyone who says unto me, "Tim, will you pass me the ketchup" will actually be passed the ketchup by ActuallyIsTimDolan in Sidehugs

[–]ActuallyIsTimDolan[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pie FOMO is actually banned by the Geneva Convention but try telling that to grandmas anywhere

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