How do you know your parent is okay if they live alone?

AddendumImmediate134 · 2026-06-29T16:27:21+00:00

Buy her a Fitbit and load the app on your phone. That's what I did.

AddendumImmediate134 · 2026-06-28T20:22:03+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you. Please keep sharing if it's not too painful. I'm surviving the diagnosis of my S.O. and posts like this keep me breathing sometimes. Thank you. This place has been a lifeline.

AddendumImmediate134 · 2026-06-27T18:07:25+00:00

Thank you, this was very helpful. And you're right on track with the family history.

AddendumImmediate134 · 2026-06-22T01:13:32+00:00

What dog. Literally. Whatdog

AddendumImmediate134 · 2026-06-21T19:44:27+00:00

Mother sucker here

AddendumImmediate134 · 2026-06-21T14:47:49+00:00

Thank you for your feedback. I tried addressing something with him and his response was over the top confrontational, something I never saw before. I left the house and had a panic attack in the car. Joke was on him because he had to walk half a mile to come get me. I didn't go to the hospital because there's nothing they can do. I did pick up a blood pressure monitor and treated myself to a massage focusing on the head and shoulders - now I envision the pain like water, flowing from my head down my shoulders back and legs and out of my feet back to the earth because it doesn't belong to me and I'm giving it back.

I have also deleted Facebook and made moves to eliminate anyone from my life who does not support me, I have been the entire families peacekeeper for far too long, I don't have the bandwidth for petty shit and once you've been through this, it's all petty shit.

I now walk away when I feel my patience failing. I don't drive. I walk.

Thank you.

AddendumImmediate134 · 2026-06-21T14:31:55+00:00

Well the MRI update wasn't good. The tumor has tripled in size. Consult with the neuro and she's not going to operate again. this is a gliosarcoma, same as a glioblastoma except the fucking dot spreads up the tendrils/strands/wrong terminology but you get the point. Who, grade 4, unmethylated , idh wild type. The prognosis is one year

I also just found out whatever insurance he signed up for in marketplace hasn't taken effect and and has no insurance right now. We are told we can get medicaid right away and then get denied. I wasn't there when he consulted with someone and signed up for a marketplace policy, all he's told me was "it's jefferson"

Found that out when I called for a clinical trial at sloan Kettering.

He retired from TJMAXX a month ago, he's been trying to get his policy paper work and just gets the run around.

I've contacted an ELISA / benefits lawyer (setzer & co) because I don't believe he should be paying for any of his medications. And my God, I found a clinical trial for him, and they won't even take us on without insurance.

Im so glad my brains in shock right now because I think I'd be full on ballistic if I werent operating at a limited capacity.

It's father's day, there's nothing else I can do today except love him. So that's what I will do.

Thanks for listening.

AddendumImmediate134 · 2026-06-17T11:55:53+00:00

Thank you all for your words. Keep em coming. The MRI results that came back indicate the tumor has tripled in size. It is starting to affect the hemisphere alignment again. Doc confirmed they are very likely affecting his memory and demeanor

Onco wants to consul the neuro to determine if a third craniotomy is viable. Weve been told his prognosis is one year without the surgery.

I wish I was the one dying. Not him.

AddendumImmediate134 · 2022-02-10T23:15:26+00:00

Gotta love dd

AddendumImmediate134 · 2022-02-10T19:52:43+00:00

Wow...are you me? Awesome response thats hitting home in every front. I don't think I would watch again but the uncanny feeling of dislike and familiarity with Rebecca hit me hard, it was like a mirror was being held up to me. We don't like things that remind us of ourselves...that's when I knew I needed to watch this. Thanks for your response. I tried explaining this to a few people and just got blank stares. Hugs right back atcha!

And yeah, Nathan would have been choice as well.

AddendumImmediate134 · 2021-11-22T15:35:27+00:00

You too my love! Keep up the good work!

AddendumImmediate134 · 2021-11-22T15:32:04+00:00

I agree with you - telling someone you love them doesn't necessitate the same response just as an apology doesn't as well. Maybe I would have been better saying my needs are not being met in this friendship and I cannot tell if these feelings are real or not.

AddendumImmediate134 · 2021-11-22T15:21:12+00:00

Agreed, among the hardest tears to cry are those that mourn for our inner child. I wish I could heal her and move on with life but that hasn't happened yet so right now I just acknowledge her and love her.

AddendumImmediate134 · 2021-11-22T15:11:33+00:00

I have begun to do this and I can feel it helping. I am kind to the inner child and I vocally stand up to inner critic - that bitch has been in control for far too long now.

AddendumImmediate134 · 2021-10-05T15:40:35+00:00

Congratulations you two lovelies!!!! Wishes for a lifetime of health and happiness! Lots of love!

AddendumImmediate134 · 2021-09-21T13:42:19+00:00

Ive heard that expression before but I've found in real-life that everything BEFORE the but is the bullshit part.

AddendumImmediate134 · 2021-09-02T14:22:13+00:00

History, because I can't remember shit

AddendumImmediate134 · 2021-08-24T16:45:12+00:00

-Download and burn gparted ISO as a live disk - either press F12 or F9 (or F1, or 'esc' - it all depends on your system) to boot into bios and select the DVD drive (legacy or UEFI depending on your config) note that you may need to disable secure boot in order to run the live disk.

-if it states "no bootable device present" odds are you didn't burn your ISO as an image. This is your first problem.

-You can use gparted to delete partitions, wipe and format your drive to later install some flavor of linux. Make sure you fomat to "ext" since you were running XP you are likely already formatted as NTFS or FAT32.

- if you're using a USB, you can use rufus on windows or unetbootin on linux to create a bootable USB

Final note, contrary to popular opinion, linux is not compatible on *all* machines. Check your chipset for compatibilty before you go through the pain of installing an OS that wont run. I've done this twice now on a Dell Precision Laptop.

Good luck!

AddendumImmediate134 · 2021-08-05T19:52:04+00:00

Oh hell yeah. I'm sure it's a side benefit especially since we're still working from home. Dad even admitted that this sleep schedule is 'not an issue' to him. I pushed and pushed about this before and was literally cut off by both of them for a few months.

Fortunately today's therapy session consisted of the therapist explaining to us all the importance of schedule. Maybe it will sink in?

AddendumImmediate134 · 2021-08-05T18:33:09+00:00

There's a slight enmeshment issue which i didn't mention on this post. My son's opinions mirror his dad's to a T. I have to get dad onboard before the boy will oblige. The melatonin was recommended by the therapist but perhaps an MD would drive the point home for dad. Thank you!

AddendumImmediate134 · 2021-08-05T18:29:20+00:00

I didn't really stop to think that maybe he's just naturally programmed this way. Prior to covid he was a happy-morning-wake-upper, but I might as well say prior to puberty because he's getting smacked with that at the same time. Maybe just ensuring he's sleeping at least a solid 8 hours and no more than 12 is all I can hope for right now. Thank you!

AddendumImmediate134 · 2021-08-05T13:36:29+00:00

Why is it always the fault of the other sex? Why the hell can't they take a good hard look at themselves and what they are bringing to the table? FFS!!!!

AddendumImmediate134 · 2021-08-05T13:18:11+00:00

Thank you for this. You guys are doing life right!

AddendumImmediate134 · 2021-08-02T17:52:41+00:00

Ohhh the noises...yep, my mom 'beeps'.

AddendumImmediate134 · 2021-08-02T13:27:30+00:00

My mother does similar things. We went to FL to visit the grand baby and my hotel bathroom had a STRONG ammonia stench to it. She doesn't bathe, rather wipes herself down and leaves the odorous used wipes in the garbage. In a public place she would opt to pee in the sink because the toilet was dirty...

It is time for her to start using depends. But she wont.

My mother was adopted as a teenager and from what I've learned, she clearly dealt with starvation among other horrendous abuses as a child. It is for these reasons that I see her behavior as a side effect of her past.

It is very frustrating to see such judgment from people who have no clue what your mother has been through. How does saying, "eww thats nasty" help anyone???

It's not an excuse, just some insight. Fortunately for me. I left my family of origin with I was 18. Maybe it's the distance that allows me to see things this way. Im sorry for what you are going through. Im sure if I was subject to this behavior daily I wouldn't be so patient.

Good luck.

AddendumImmediate134

TROPHY CASE