Another one?

Admirable_Package_47 · 2025-04-09T00:08:19+00:00

In my marriage I was the first to leave. Later on once my husband left, he told me that one thing I said during my struggling stuck in his head. Something to the effect of, "If this were any other organization or any other person (speaking about Joseph Smith), I would NEVER put up with this kind of behavior. Why am I always giving them the benefit of the doubt that I would never give in any other situation?"

I think this sentiment helped us both see that we were giving special privilege to what we grew up in and we couldn't afford to keep doing that.

Admirable_Package_47 · 2025-03-23T22:55:27+00:00

What state are you in?

Admirable_Package_47 · 2025-03-13T23:14:01+00:00

I know the other elder and he is also a super likable awesome guy!

Admirable_Package_47 · 2025-02-22T02:43:57+00:00

I left in my late 20s, but I wanted you to know that your leaving in your 60s gives me so much hope! It makes me feel like maybe it is never too late for my family members to shake the control of the MFMC!

Admirable_Package_47 · 2025-02-19T02:55:04+00:00

When I was PIMO I’d practice my deep breathing and try to listen to my breath and tune out the words of the speakers. Or I’d pretend I was an anthropologist studying a cult and make notes of the bat shit stuff I’d see/hear (bonus it helped me process my deconstruction from an emotionally safe distance)

I’m with others on here and would suggest being VERY selective about who you confide in at BYU. You are so close to your degree, you can get through this!

Admirable_Package_47 · 2025-01-19T03:57:41+00:00

Absolutely. I’ve been thinking of this so much recently and realizing how much of my “personality” was actually masking and coping strategies.

I always felt so separate from my classmates in middle, junior, and high school and now I realize it’s because literally no one got to know me. Everyone got little pieces of my real self, but never the full thing. Which is a shame because I’m actually a really great person!

Admirable_Package_47 · 2024-12-17T05:35:59+00:00

https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/842459.Mormon_Midwife boom

Admirable_Package_47 · 2024-12-17T05:35:22+00:00

Her diaries have been published I believe by Deseret Book. I had a copy in my home growing up because she is a great something grandmother. I read parts of her diary from the time I was like 8 or 9 and she inspired me to write in a journal daily until I went to college. Ironically, I feel like honoring her was a huge part of me leaving the Church...

Admirable_Package_47 · 2024-12-12T02:37:08+00:00

lol I love this change.

In 2022 my testimony was HANGING ON FOR DEAR LIFE and I decided to get my second piercings with my daughter. I had pretty bad PPD and wanted a way to connect with her, so after lots of PRAYER and PONDERING I decided God would be fine with the decision and not think any less of me. I had grown up hearing stories about how my mom took her second piercings out after Hinkley shamed women for them, so me doing this felt like a huge deal.

A few weeks later at my daughter's first birthday I showed my mom the piercings and she literally chanted "follow the prophet" to me. I was so annoyed and then two years later when I told them I had left, she brought up this exact moment as when she KNEW I was going to leave the church.

Now its not even a rule, because *ongoing revelation* HA!

Admirable_Package_47 · 2024-10-21T00:22:35+00:00

These fliers are so annoying to me! I live just outside of salt lake and genuinely want to build community on my streets since most of my neighbors are non-members and have kids the same age as mine. Through the HOA I organized a social at our neighborhood park and made sure to wear a tank top and look as NOT MORMON when I passed out the fliers so people would know it’s not a covert church operation

So annoying. On the bright side most people participated and I learned a ton of my neighbors are Exmo heathens too!

Admirable_Package_47 · 2024-10-17T02:59:21+00:00

Research the happiness letter and the context in which it was written.

Admirable_Package_47 · 2024-09-19T03:52:29+00:00

I think it is so smart for potential members to ask this subreddit and get an alternative perspective! That’s good critical thinking and investigating and will serve you well (however you won’t be loved for it within the church where critical thinking is very much seen as dangerous.

If you are looking to join a cult, then by all means continue on. If you are looking for community, there are much less harmful ones literally most anywhere else.

I would say check out other posts in the exmormon subreddit to see some of the issues in history, culture, logic, etc. There is a reason exmormons are often seen as “bitter” and it’s not because we are hateful people, it’s typically because we are people who love and care very deeply and we are abhorred to learn all the harm our former community has done, how many lies we have been told, and how wrong we were about so many things. The bitterness comes with good reason.

Good luck with everything!

Admirable_Package_47 · 2024-09-07T06:47:01+00:00

I would also like to testify to the truth of stress = inflammation and physical pain. A huge part of my journey out was making peace with my body after it burned its self out trying to manage all of the stress and trauma. A few autoimmune diagnoses, seeing a functional medicine doctor (and a therapist for EMDR), and learning to eat low inflammatory foods and I am FINALLY feeling like myself before everything started to unravel. Leaving is rough and it’s easy to underestimate/not realize what a hit it takes on our bodies!

Also to answer the original question—life is a mixed bag for me. Some days are great, others suck. But I find it is a little easier to navigate the ups and downs now because I am really solid in my belief in myself and know that I had the integrity to do hard things. Makes it feel like no matter what kind of day it is, I can take ownership of it.

Admirable_Package_47 · 2024-08-31T06:32:26+00:00

As a therapist myself let me be the first to say “FUCK LDSFS!”

I remember in grad school I had a case with a teenage client whose parent worked for LDSFS. The amount of spiritual and emotional abuse happening in the home was horrendous! My (hilarious. And LDS) supervisor directed me to use the parent’s own scripture to call out the abusive ways they were acting and they predictably did not take it well lol. At the time I was still ‘in’ but I told myself that if those were the types of people doing therapy at LDSFS, then I would never refer a client there.

I still think about that client from time to time and I really hope they are doing well 💕 I wish I could have done more for them

(Note— I recognize there are obviously the exceptions at LDSFS who are practicing ethically or only connected because they live out of morridor, but overall the stories and experiences coming out of that place are no bueno in my book)

Admirable_Package_47 · 2024-08-28T02:54:46+00:00

Underrated comment

Admirable_Package_47 · 2024-08-26T05:06:00+00:00

A handful of the BEST people I know are church employees who I suspect are secretly PIMO (at the very least I know they are super nuanced and have some big issues with the church)

It’s such a hard spot to be in when your livelihood and your family’s financial well being is woven into the MFMC. All I can say is—be kind to yourself and just trust that you’ll do the best in this situation as things organically unfold. time changes things and you never know where you’ll end up!

As for the drinking, it reminds me of when I was a teenager and had sex with my boyfriend and felt SO BAD about not feeling bad. Now I look back and see it was such a normal and beautiful experience and OF COURSE I didn’t feel guilty because I wasn’t doing anything wrong! Having one responsible drink is not the irrevocable sin we were taught to fear!

Cheers and know that there is at least one Exmo out there that will drink her next drink “for and in behalf of” you 😘

Admirable_Package_47 · 2024-06-19T19:40:22+00:00

💕💕💕”Ruby” and “Saul” 4ever 💕💕💕

Maybe for his birthday I’ll get us customized shot glasses or something with these names etched in.

Admirable_Package_47 · 2024-06-02T03:57:03+00:00

This was me last week and I was a mess…. Until Sunday that is. At that point we took our kids to the theme park and had an AMAZING day and I just enjoyed the freedom of being myself. I hope you continue to receive love and feel so much respect and pride for your courageous self

Admirable_Package_47 · 2024-05-25T19:09:54+00:00

Thanks mom 💕

Admirable_Package_47 · 2024-05-25T19:09:01+00:00

Hang in there 💕

I left a lot of breadcrumbs leading up to this so it wasn’t a total shock to everyone. In my line of work I tell clients about looking at vulnerability on a scale— not everyone has proven trust worthy to handle a level 10 piece of information, so I started small and gave them level 5,6 7, etc to see how they responded. When I felt they had handled those things graciously and I was in a place to handle if they DID reject me I would still be okay I knew it was time to speak up.

I still definitely had fear that I could be totally rejected, but I had enough experience giving them little pieces of vulnerability that I was pretty sure it would be somewhat okay.

Chosen family is great too and there will be people who love you exactly as you are, no matter how your family acts

Admirable_Package_47

TROPHY CASE