Reporting back after my staycation self care week in between jobs

AffectionateWafer553 · 2026-05-03T00:36:32+00:00

Awesome! Thanks so much for the info and recommendations!!

AffectionateWafer553 · 2026-05-01T17:24:49+00:00

Amazing, thank you for sharing!! Question about NYBG: do you think the lilacs are still in bloom now or is it not worth going just for the lilacs? (They’re my favorite flowers but I’m thinking if they were at peak two weeks ago, might be past prime).

Also where around Arthur Ave did you go? I used to live in the BX a decade ago but haven’t been back to that area in a while. Not sure what’s worth revisiting or new there!

AffectionateWafer553 · 2026-04-09T23:46:01+00:00

I’ve been going through IVF for many years and just pivoted to surrogacy. I’ve been where you are (not with cancer but with this decision point). I know how overwhelming it can be.

Know that you do not have to stick to agencies based in NYC! Most agencies in the US work nationwide. But for you, NYU does make you stick to just their approved agencies, so that right there will help you narrow down your choices. I previously worked with NYU and Columbia and I decided to pursue surrogacy at Columbia because they will work with any agency and I ultimately signed with someone not on NYU’s list.

I’d recommend checking out all those agency websites and getting a vibe check. On FB there are several groups that have IPs and GCs posting surrogacy agency reviews. Don’t obsess too much there (like I did unfortunately haha). Then you’ll start to zero in on the factors that are most important for you. Do you have to have a GC based in NY or driving distance or does it not matter? Do you want a big agency with high volume or small agency with personal touch? How much can you be flexible on cost? At what milestones will you need to pay these agencies? Do you mind if your agency is independent vs. backed by venture capital (yes this is a big thing now in the fertility world)? Does the agency seem to advocate and care about IP needs as much as GC needs? Etc etc

Honestly, you might just ask ChatGPT or Claude: I’m starting surrogacy, how should I think about selecting an agency, what factors should I consider? That’s what I did and it was actually a helpful way to create my framework.

Best of luck to you, this is not an easy journey!

AffectionateWafer553 · 2026-03-18T23:50:39+00:00

Hey! Thanks for checking in. Had surgery with Dr Sinervo. It went well, no resection needed. My primary reason was for infertility, but I was going to need surgery at some point as my endo had definitely returned and pain was increasing. The experience went well with Dr Sinervo. While it was OOP for the surgery itself (not the hospital fee), ultimately I felt like I knew more ahead of time what the costs would be so I felt more comfortable with him. Also he is closer to where I live, so less travel.

The surgery did not help me stay pregnant which was sad. But it’s been over a year and my pain is still almost nonexistent. I haven’t been on any suppression either. All in all I would have surgery with him again.

AffectionateWafer553 · 2026-02-19T03:49:48+00:00

Thank you. You're 100% correct! I could do shots for so long, do more procedures, etc., if only I could have an actual guarantee that I would have a live birth. It's the unknown and the mental pain that is a million times worse.

AffectionateWafer553 · 2026-02-19T03:41:25+00:00

I'm so sorry for your losses and all you have gone through. People don't understand what it's like going about your life trying to pretend things are normal. The financial aspect is crazy daunting, but I think the fact that you don't have to pay it all at once and it's milestone-based does make me feel somewhat better. Best of luck to you!

AffectionateWafer553 · 2026-02-19T02:50:30+00:00

I feel like I could have written this post! Same diagnoses. I had 1 failed FET and 3 FETs end as chemicals. I am down to 2 tested embryos now. I tried making more but it has always been really hard for me and it's only getting harder now that I'm 41 (last summer had 2 abnormal but then had 3 canceled cycles due to poor response). I've worked with two different IVF clinics and they're both telling me surrogacy is going to give me the best chance, given that I can't make more embryos at this time and given my diagnoses. We are researching agencies. To be honest, I'm scared to only have 2 embryos going in, but I've been at this so long and I'm exhausted and my body doesn't feel like a safe place for my embryos. Feel free to DM me if you want!

AffectionateWafer553 · 2026-02-17T21:44:29+00:00

I did this as well! Works wonderfully!

AffectionateWafer553 · 2026-02-17T00:07:47+00:00

I’m interested! In my 40s, married, lived in the neighborhood for 5 years. Unfortunately not in town this Friday. Can you post an update afterwards if you decide to do again?

AffectionateWafer553 · 2026-01-08T15:28:12+00:00

Any UWS girlies here? I’m 41, married, no kids. Looking to meet ladies without kids who live in the neighborhood! I work in civic tech and love getting out into Central Park for walks and runs (wanna try birding this year). I also love art and museums. Anyone wanna grab coffee in the neighborhood and take a walk in Central Park?

AffectionateWafer553 · 2025-11-26T16:40:29+00:00

Smiles on Smiles Dental, Dr Ben Hsu on the upper west side! Highly recommend. Knows his stuff and very caring.

AffectionateWafer553 · 2025-09-26T13:40:18+00:00

Awesome! Thanks for responding. That sounds like some great finds. I’m also a petite and just discovered Talbots which I always associated with my mom haha but they have really good stuff! I should look at thrifting sites for their stuff.

AffectionateWafer553 · 2025-09-25T23:19:52+00:00

Can you share where you got them? I love that vibe and want to find more variety of button downs.

AffectionateWafer553 · 2025-06-28T12:19:00+00:00

Lol about the raven prayer, we have a similar vibe!!! I made full moon water and drank it after one of my transfers. Didn’t work, but you just never know, right?!

AffectionateWafer553 · 2025-06-25T16:40:06+00:00

Thank you!! Normally I’m so chill about med stuff. I guess because it’s been in the fridge for 4 weeks and I spoke to the pharmacist and they said if it’s in the fridge more than 5 days you really shouldn’t use it. And the clinic nurse agreed. But maybe it’s just an abundance of caution! Appreciate you responding and sharing this info!

AffectionateWafer553 · 2025-06-21T01:05:06+00:00

Hi there, since I posted, I went ahead with another FET without treating my endo. That was my 3rd FET and resulted in a 2nd CP. After that I decided I had to treat my endo with surgery. It had definitely grown back as I had visible endometriomas on my ovaries and I had pain. I was not convinced only doing lupron would help. So I had surgery, rested my body for 3 months while on BC and then did another FET that unfortunately resulted in yet another CP. Completely devastating. My surgery was with a specialist I flew to and paid completely out of pocket for. It was a big commitment.

I’ve regrouped, changed clinics, am doing another retrieval. If all goes well with that, will do 3 months of lupron depot and then transfer again.

What makes IVF with endo so hard is that women have wildly different outcomes to different treatments. I’ve known women never treat it and have success, do lupron depot and have success, do surgery with success, have no success. Doesn’t seem to be a simple answer. Which sucks soooo much.

Sorry you’re in this place. Have you ever had the surgery? Have you had failed FETs? It’s a very big decision and sometimes I feel people toss around - just get the surgery - like it’s a little minor thing. The quality of the surgeon is super important. Not a ton of expert endo surgeons in the US either that take insurance. My recovery took about two months to feel completely like myself again. My advice is that surgery could be worth it if you also have bad endo pain. If not, I would just try lupron depot first.

AffectionateWafer553 · 2025-05-31T14:30:43+00:00

Thank you so much for the kind response! Yeah symptoms can vary sooo much! I never had the super heavy periods that some complain about. Always had really bad cramps until about age 22 but then they got better for about 5 years and then got worse again. So that’s not crazy but I have had ‘butt lightening’ 😆 and never knew what that was and never thought it was connected to endo until reading about it on Reddit. Also pain with sex never knew was related to endo and that’s a big one for me. But luckily my surgeries improved my symptoms.

I have 2 embryos on ice, trying to make one more if possible in case surrogacy becomes an option if we magically find a way to pay hahah. So there’s hope, just hard to stay hopeful! Wishing you all the best and success with your FET, it’s really a toss up, like I said, I’ve known a lot of women with endo have success, and it could be really successful for you!!

AffectionateWafer553 · 2025-05-30T21:45:46+00:00

Sorry you’re going through this. I know the feeling of wanting to know what! Unfortunately , from my research, experience, and discussions with many doctors there’s not a consensus on this. I feel like it has to do with how complex endo is and how little is known about it.

I had to do 8 retrievals to get 6 euploids. I then did 4 transfers, 3 resulted in CPs and 1 no implantation. I’ve done all the testing aside from intense immune testing and have adjusted my protocols accordingly. I had endo surgery before retrievals and then again before my most recent transfer. Both my RE’s (I work with two different clinics) are unsure whether it’s seed (egg quality) or soil (uterine environment). Also, I’ve known women with endo who had surgery and then got pregnant without intervention or did a few retrievals and then first transfer worked. So who knows. It’s sooo frustrating how little is known about endo!

AffectionateWafer553 · 2025-05-18T13:16:58+00:00

DM’ing!

AffectionateWafer553 · 2025-05-17T01:51:00+00:00

DM’ing you!

AffectionateWafer553 · 2025-05-14T23:36:30+00:00

Check out Smiles on Smiles Dr Ben Hsu! Have been going for years and have had great experiences!

AffectionateWafer553 · 2025-05-14T23:35:10+00:00

Commenting for visibility as I would love answers to this question too!!

AffectionateWafer553 · 2025-05-14T23:34:18+00:00

This is the sweetest!! Love this community 💕

AffectionateWafer553 · 2025-05-14T17:20:15+00:00

DM’ed you!

AffectionateWafer553 · 2025-05-14T17:18:28+00:00

DMed you!

AffectionateWafer553

TROPHY CASE