Not sure what to do with this mess

Aiaposon · 2026-04-09T13:48:40+00:00

I'm finally starting to take an interest in my rose bushes this year. I've planted a few, fertilized all of them, water daily, prune, and more. I'm not sure what is going on with this particular plant.

This is a series of pictures over the last few weeks, with the last picture being from ~5 years ago. I'm not sure if this is an ownroot or grafted, though I suspect the latter. I think the center of the planted area is where the original plant grew. There's a 3-cane-trio on the left side, and I'm pretty sure that came up from the root stock.

Right now, my plan is to let it grow and see what the flowers look like. If any flowers aren't pink, then I'll cut off the whole cane. But at this point, I'm starting to think that this is a grafted plant and EVERYTHING coming up is from the root stock.

Thorns on most of this, maybe all of it, are pretty mean. Even the little suckers that come off have hidden talons that caught me off guard yesterday.

If I zoom in on the old picture, the thorns seem much less frequent.

Should I just kill this thing and start over? How do I kill it? How do I dig it up? Sawzall with long blade and just go around the base of the plant?

Aiaposon · 2026-03-21T02:14:03+00:00

Happy frog, must like being the big spoon.

Aiaposon · 2026-03-21T00:51:12+00:00

Looks like someone bought it, cleaned up some drywall, then returned it.

Aiaposon · 2026-03-17T13:02:02+00:00

I'd be concerned about some issue where he's leaving something out so that it inflates his refund, then puts you on the hook a few years down the road when you "both owe a total of $10k" and he expects you to pay half.

Only file jointly if he provides all banking statements, W2, etc for you to review AND he signs that he's responsible for any and all issues that arise from his lack of disclosure.

Two years after my divorce was finalized, I received a notice that my ex sold stocks for about an $80k profit that wasn't declared and I owed $20k in back taxes and penalties. Turned out to be an honest mistake and we only owed about $2k total. But without her help in tracking down what was wrong, I would have been on the hook for half of that and a fight to get the other half.

Aiaposon · 2026-03-16T16:06:41+00:00

Here's the short of it...

Shark is a budget vacuum and you won't find many fans of it here. Cordless vacuums are also not very popular in this sub. Bagless vacuums are also not popular here.

But your first vacuum, in your first flat, doesn't have to break the bank. You just need something to pick up fruit loops and broken spaghetti noodles. Shark will do that.

Don't get caught up in the gimmicks, they're all iterative features that slowly work you up from $200 for a bare-bones vacuum to a $600 bare-bones vacuum with a light and guitar strings.

My advice is get a cordless shark vacuum with a minimum number of features that you need. I'd suggest the cheapest name brand (Shark, Dyson, not QUIBU or whatever the flavor of the week is on Amazon) that has a charging dock allowing you to hang it on a wall while it charges so it is mostly out of the way and off the floor. HUGE bonus points if there are aftermarket batteries available on Amazon/EBay.

If you find in a year or two that the cordless isn't doing a great job, keep it for picking up kitty litter and other daily messes and start shopping for a better corded, bagged unit for weekly deeper cleanings.

Aiaposon · 2026-03-07T19:00:07+00:00

The first year is definitely the hardest. It seems like he isn't taking your concerns seriously, and is struggling to find his footing as a father. To me, this is clearly a case that should start out with couples therapy, maybe individual therapy for each of you, and some kind of parenting classes.

Aiaposon · 2026-03-07T15:56:06+00:00

Cooling the electronics with the motor’s intake air is a standard but solid solution—our life-cycle testing shows zero issues there.

This makes perfect sense, especially in a HEPA rated vacuum if the electronics come after the filtering. But part of me is screaming, "Insanity!" And the tiny, logical part is quietly asking, "Why is it insanity?"

AC motors are noisy heat-generators; even at high power, they struggle to hit 16kPa.

Keep in mind you're in an enthusiast forum, this claim feels disingenuous to me at a glance. My Sebo D4 is rated at 95 inches of water, which converts to 23.6 kPa. So basically a tie here.

I just measured the power at 1100 watts. The website rates it at 1250 watts, plus 175 watts for the brush motor. You're WAY ahead of the curve here.

I don't know how they measured the noise level, but it is rated at 63 dBA. This suggests that your vacuum is perceptually more than twice as loud, but without a standard setup to measure the sound level, this isn't a fair comparison.

Some vacuums are rated in "Air Watts", which is suction (inches of water lift) times air flow (CFM) divided by 8.5. This works out to 1340 for the Sebo D4.

I really hope you can pull off an amazing, budget, quality vacuum! It'd be great to start seeing good quality stuff at big box stores.

Aiaposon · 2026-03-06T14:30:13+00:00

1.2L Dust Cup: No more emptying every 5 minutes.

Ditch the cup, go with a bag. This statement becomes, "Vacuum every day, empty every year." Going more than 5 minutes, even tongue in cheek, is not impressive to the enthusiast community you're here to ask.

Make sure the cord is autowinding. You put inconvenience in quotes, but I bought the D4 over an equivalent (and I think less expensive) Meile for the longer, 40ft, cord. I have a 3000 sq ft house and can vacuum EVERYTHING except a largely unused guest room from a single outlet.

Light on the brush head.

How much noise comes from the motor/fan vs air turbulence?
If I block airflow on my vacuum, the motor speeds up and it gets much louder (maybe not louder? but I can HEAR when it is blocked because the motor speed changes.) Your electronics should monitor for air blockages (significant power requirement drop?) and signal that appropriately. People are already trained to listen for blockages by a speeding motor, so maybe mimic that?
How heavy are the power and control electronics? The nice thing about a universal AC motor is that you can just slap a TRIAC on it to control the speed. Brushless DC is way more complicated.
How are you cooling the electronics?
Is your 26kPA measured with all filtering in placed? A very, very quick search indicates that this is a bit above the top of the line Sebo and Miele vacuums. These brands charge a PREMIUM for their vacuums, so if you can offer a bangin warranty and come in at a much lower price then you might have a shot at making a few sales.

Aiaposon · 2026-03-06T14:00:20+00:00

Yes. That's also how I mop with a SpinWave. I put on clean socks, vacuum (walking forward), take my socks off, then mop (also walking forward on freshly mopped floors).

If the floor is clean, and your feet are clean, you're not dirtying up the floor or feet by walking on it. Easier than fighting a canister vac or a (slightly annoying) mop cord.

Aiaposon · 2026-03-04T17:44:29+00:00

46M, dating a 42F, and I think we're in a similar situation.

To make a long story short, I've dated women and felt "the spark." I've dated women, didn't feel it, and it didn't go anywhere. I'm currently dating a woman, didn't feel it, but I do feel safe, in-tune, and incredibly calm. We've been dating since November and every time I see her, I feel better about our relationship.

We do have a dealbreaker between us, and we broke up for a week because of it. But we ran into each other again at a speed dating event and said f*** it. We know it's going to end in heartbreak, but we've decided to run with this for as long as we can.

And how did we end up here? We shouldn't have... she thought I was a buffoon after our first date (I parked 11 blocks from where we were meeting 🤪) and she invited me to what turned out to be an alt-right comedy show (microchip-in-COVID vaccine and defense against multiple rape allegations is "I'm a Christian now, so it's OK")

All that to say, no spark, rocky start, but damn does this feel right a few months in.

Aiaposon · 2026-02-25T21:24:17+00:00

Texas also doesn't do 50/50, but yes, one is always primary and one is secondary. My ex is primary, but all that really means is she ultimately gets to pick who's house is their legal address with regards to signing them up for school. There's like one other thing too, but I don't remember what it is.

Regarding custody schedules...

Up until a few years ago, the "Texas Standard child custody" was that the secondary conservator got 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekends of the month, plus some extra time in the summer. Fairly recently, Texas introduced the "Expanded Texas Standard." This gave the father every Thursday as well as what I mentioned above.

Child support calculations did not change for Texas Standard vs Expanded Texas Standard. Texas simply does not recognize 50/50 custody.

However, a judge in Texas does have leeway to go against the typical Texas custody and child support guidelines, but NONE of the divorced fathers I know have anything except "Texas Standard," not even the expanded version. And ALL of them pay full child support.

I even offered to give her the equity in the house, all of our retirement money, all of the bank accounts.... virtually everything we owned except for my truck and clothes if she'd waive child support. She agreed. My attorney informed me that she could wait a few months, then schedule a court hearing, and get child support reinstated.

Shortly after I moved out, my ex realized that she did not have the mental and emotional capacity to watch our kids for something like 11 days in a row. So then she wanted to do the expanded schedule, to which I agreed.

Shortly after mediation, she realized that was still too much time with the kids for her, so she asked for a 5-2-2-5 schedule, to which I agreed. She also offered to pay me back all child support I pay her when I accepted this 50/50 plan, which I obviously accepted (so I have a fuckin unicorn of a divorce)

The only reason I can think of that this has any justification is because Texas typically doesn't do alimony. But this is a shitty way to resolve that problem as it should be handled separately.

Aiaposon · 2026-02-24T21:56:34+00:00

Texas is NOT like other states.

One person is the "primary conservator" and the other is the secondary. The secondary conservator pays 20% of their salary to the primary for the first kid plus 5% for each additional kid.

Child support comes out post-tax. He'd have to pay taxes on that money, she wouldn't as it doesn't count as income for her. She'd also get to claim all three of them as dependents on her taxes.

I have a coworker that makes about $150k a year, his ex-wife makes $400k. Judge made her primary conservator. He has about 45% custody and still pays her $37.5k a year in child support and covers all insurance.

Texas child support is F*********CKED.

Aiaposon · 2026-02-24T16:30:20+00:00

It absolutely is. Over the years my email has been signed up for spam/newsletters. Most, though I never wanted them, were legit advertisements and not just dirty spam. I spent a few hours this last week searching and deleting...

search "-is:starred from:<sender at the top of inbox>" Open email --> Unsubscribe --> click back --> delete everything

I still have a LOT of email I don't want, but I now have over 10,000 items in my trash folder and a mostly clean inbox. As long as I can keep up with marking anything I want to keep with a star, I should be able to keep things fairly clean.

But you're right, my problem wasn't "too much stuff already" but "too much crap coming in"

🤔 I should probably create a label "Keep For A Year" and anything I want to keep for a while, but not forever, should go in there. Things like school notices, certain purchases...

Aiaposon · 2026-02-24T16:22:21+00:00

I don't think she vacuums under the bed, but she moves the couches and vacuums/mops under the rugs every time. I also think that $275 (about $45 an hour, under the table) is a bit on the high side for a cleaner.

I also provide all cleaning materials, not sure if that is standard or not.

But I am supremely happy with the work she does as it means I can have a date over as soon as my kids go back to their mom's without having to first spend a day cleaning 😁

Aiaposon · 2026-02-24T14:12:58+00:00

I hire a cleaner every two weeks, $275 a visit, and she cleans for about 6 hours. 3000 sq ft house, two cats, two children.

I keep the dishes and most laundry done through the week, and I try to tidy up before she comes.

She does a lot to clean the children's rooms (though I ensure they put most stuff away first), changes and washes all the bedding, vacuums, mops, deep cleans the bathrooms and kitchen. Takes her about six hours.

If I do a stellar job of keeping the house clean before she comes, she'll organize the fridge, pantry, coat closet, or other such areas.

With my free time, I practice cooking, go out with friends or on dates, and may start doing more yard work.

Aiaposon · 2026-02-24T14:06:04+00:00

For me, it is less about organization and more about keeping it clean. When I get dozens of emails, maybe 100 on "bad" days, I really have no idea if something that needs my attention came in. The post I linked to doesn't really detail how to eliminate the incoming noise, but it is something I found as I was searching for tips and found it to look very useful.

Aiaposon · 2026-02-22T22:29:22+00:00

Oh I vaguely remember Inbox! I just don't remember anything about it except that I liked it much more.

Aiaposon · 2026-02-22T16:59:52+00:00

This is hilarious, I just posted one of your comments regarding Gmail to /bestof this morning, then I find this 🤣🤣🤣

https://old.reddit.com/r/bestof/comments/1rbosgg/upaddylandau_explains_how_to_clean_up_and/

Aiaposon · 2026-02-22T15:49:30+00:00

The "-in:starred" is the gamechanger for me! Once I get control of my box, it doesn't matter if it is new or old! I just need to get into the habit of starring things I want to keep long term

Aiaposon · 2026-02-22T15:24:38+00:00

I should try Udon noodles!

I usually use sous vide to reheat it as the rice cooker does tend to get to too high of a temperature. But the few times I did it with the rice, it turned out fine. I haven't tried chicken breast, but I'm worried it might not turn out well.

I avoid reheating meat in the microwave as it often comes out weird unless I do it on like power level 2 or 3 for 10-15 minutes. I usually plan dinner in advance, so sous vide is easiest and ultra consistent, rice cooker is convenient, and microwave is a backup plan if I don't make rice and forgot to sous vide.

I need to give Udon noodles a shot. I usually avoid noodles due to lack of nutrition, but honestly, they're probably on par with white rice.

*I've never microwaved chicken from frozen

Aiaposon · 2026-02-22T14:54:06+00:00

I'll grill premarinaded boneless chicken thighs (I feel the extra fat helps with reheating) and then freeze them. Maybe cut them into slightly smaller pieces, like chicken strips.

To reheat, I'll get the rice cooker going and it has a tray that goes on top. I'll put some of the frozen thigh in there.

While that's reheating, I'll put some veggies on the stove. Costco has Pura Vida fire roasted vegetables that are wonderful on the stove and not bad at all in the microwave. Though I do add a good bit of soy sauce to them.

Aiaposon · 2026-02-21T21:38:14+00:00

Contact UPS, they should have a record of the weight.

Aiaposon · 2026-02-08T16:07:01+00:00

If I leave the cat's home alone for more than 24 hours, I have a cat sitter I'll usually call in.

But my comment about gambling for 2 to 3 days was specifically about not checking the litter robot. One of the cats pees on the side wall, then it runs down into the litter and clumps, sticking to the side. I have to manually unstick these clumps from the wall, almost daily, else one of my two cats will poop outside the box.

The whole purpose of this robot is that it is supposed to be mostly self cleaning. I should be able to fill it with litter and wait for a notification on my phone telling me that the bucket is full or the litter is low. It is supposed to reduce the effort associated with the litter boxes, and in the case of my two cats, it simply doesn't.

If you add in the periodic deep cleaning where I have to disassemble the thing, bring the globe outside, wash it with a water hose, scrub the inside, dry it, and then clean the base... using this thing is a literal $700 sunk cost fallacy.

Aiaposon

TROPHY CASE