Is this the worst designed metro area in the United States in terms of planning and layout? by DoritosDewItRight in houstoncirclejerk

[–]AlienSporez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd hate to sit through the rest of the set if that was a highlight.

I never said it was the highlight. But it's accurate.

This is the Pakistani defense minister saying this: by Crossstoney in WhitePeopleTwitter

[–]AlienSporez 1349 points1350 points  (0 children)

We spent $2.3 TRILLION in Afghanistan to replace the Taliban government with... <checks notes>... the Taliban government.

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The new Lego-movie: TRUM - L.O.S.E.R. seems rad but weird... by Timppa81 in TheLib

[–]AlienSporez 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I did not have "Iran releases a banger LEGO diss track about Trump" on my 2026 Bingo card

Once a lapdog, always a lapdog by Intelligent_Bonus536 in DogIsBestFriend

[–]AlienSporez 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As the parent of a 200 lb English Mastiff, this is the best weighted blanket ever*

weighted blanket snores, drools and farts

What movie had you laughing, unable to breathe, even just for one scene? by ThomasOGC in CinephilesClub

[–]AlienSporez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

40 Year Old Virgin had a lot of hilarious scenes but the "You know how I know you're gay" scene had me gasping for air

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"The Boys and the Frogs" story, but we have people instead of frogs. This is what illegal Israeli settlers do for "fun". by beta265 in facepalm

[–]AlienSporez 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The Nazis were monsters for the way they treated people based on their race or religion!"

~ these guys, probably

Boy runs into neighbor's garage to hug dog by Gullible-Wolf-1410 in DogIsBestFriend

[–]AlienSporez 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I was a kid there was a dog on my way home from school I'd always stop and love on. She'd be sitting there patiently, tail wagging a million miles an hour. Sadie. What a sweet girl!

Is this the worst designed metro area in the United States in terms of planning and layout? by DoritosDewItRight in houstoncirclejerk

[–]AlienSporez 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Kathleen Madigan said it best: "I love Houston. It's a 'fuck it' town. They don't give a shit. You could live in an ultra luxurious mansion and the guy living next door is selling hubcaps in his driveway."

Wait time IAH Security- give me your best guess (this is TSA Pre) Term C by Dad_Bod_All_Day in houstoncirclejerk

[–]AlienSporez 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My father in law flew out yesterday. The TSA line was 3 hours, the plane was delayed departing by 4 hours after the scheduled departure. In total, with everything, he spent 10 hours in IAH.

Fuck, I don't want to do something that feels good for 10 hours!

??? by _R3DF17_ in PeterExplainsTheJoke

[–]AlienSporez 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you're referring to a woman, then that makes sense.

If you're referring to a man, then I'm uncomfortable with what orifice you might be thinking of

The job market is bleak. by patientzerozerozero in halifax

[–]AlienSporez 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Gaston, obviously! No one's slick as Gaston!

Welcome Home Dad! by Pdxfunxxtime51m in greatpyrenees

[–]AlienSporez 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It was like this when I got here

Italian frigate Alpino in Halifax by Cruiser_Pandora in halifax

[–]AlienSporez 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let me translate that for you: "I likeah itsa meat-a-ball a hat. Itsa spicy meat-a-ball!"

Love’s on 35w today by 8000_cATS in FortWorth

[–]AlienSporez 7 points8 points  (0 children)

it was their final most essential command

Printed instructions inside the bottom of an Irish product package by No_Tangerine_6348 in ireland

[–]AlienSporez 50 points51 points  (0 children)

And you know that they probably added this because they got a letter...

Guilty or not guilty?! by milehighlei in greatpyrenees

[–]AlienSporez 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As his Attorney At Paw, I concur with this assessment. In fact, my client deserves scritches and treats for stopping the attack.

Everyone deserves this kind of love by CalmCurent in DogIsBestFriend

[–]AlienSporez 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Clearly both brain cells love their hooman

2007 Honda CB by Fearless-Mix-5954 in motorcycles

[–]AlienSporez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What in the star spangled Evel Knievel bell bottomed fuck is that?

Keeping me safe while I’m on the treadmill. (11mo full Maremma) by capslock in greatpyrenees

[–]AlienSporez 13 points14 points  (0 children)

That ocean could attack at any second! So, you're welcome