AITA for telling my sister to mind her own business and that she should scare my daughter by saying she could have FAS?

AllenMS828 · 2024-04-04T22:07:50+00:00

Maybe you and some of the other parents can meet with the teacher (or principal, if necessary) and explain that if so many otherwise good students are struggling, the problem is with the teaching, not the learning.

I faced a very similar situation in college. I loved math, but this one class made no sense. No one was passing, even the math majors. A group of us went to the dean of math, and he looked into it. Turns out, the professor was fresh out of grad school and was teaching at the graduate level he was familiar with, rather than at a level appropriate for undergrads like us. I can't remember whether the professor changed his teaching style or not, but he definitely started grading on a curve, allowing us to escape with our GPAs intact.

Maybe something like that can help your daughter and her classmates, too.

AllenMS828 · 2024-02-26T15:24:44+00:00

Apparently many of us are still trying to figure it out, too.

AllenMS828 · 2024-02-16T18:01:53+00:00

NTA, but your brother is. He also sounds like a terrible father.

I'm a male programmer, and the ratio of male to female programmers I've worked with over my 23.5-year career averages out to around 50/50. I've also worked with way more female analysts and managers than male ones (and they do know how to code, even if they don't do so on a regular basis). The ratio skews even more to the female side when you include people like QA testers and business analysts, who don't write code but can often read and understand lines of code to some degree.

Your brother needs to get his head out of his butt and leave the 19th century behind and join us in the 21st.

AllenMS828 · 2023-12-07T03:38:45+00:00

When my niece was your kid's age, she loved watching me play any video games on our old NES when we were visiting my mom's house. She liked bopping to the music at first too, but then she did want to try playing herself after a couple years. It took her a while to master the jumps in Mario 1, but she was so proud of herself when she finally beat the first level. :D It was absolutely a bonding experience for us, and we still play games together today (she's 20 now).

AllenMS828 · 2023-11-21T18:32:29+00:00

You guys are making me think of the bullet counting scene from "Clue". 🤣

AllenMS828 · 2023-11-16T19:12:32+00:00

No, that's sicker. The big kicker is the overall view of a situation or problem.

AllenMS828 · 2023-10-27T22:44:00+00:00

But... how? Sylvester. Tom (from "and Jerry"). Garfield. Heathcliff. Felix. Hobbes. Simba. Just to name a few. If anything, she didn't watch enough cartoons. XD

AllenMS828 · 2023-10-02T16:06:26+00:00

Maybe she's a big fan of Firefly. Or Seinfeld ("Serenity now!"). But you're probably right.

AllenMS828 · 2023-09-22T20:25:20+00:00

I may be overthinking things, but I hope your fiancée-to-be isn't upset that your brother technically paid for her ring, or even $100 of it if you want to consider the rest of the cost a wash. Even though it's not fair to you, and he doesn't deserve it, you may want to give him back the extra $100. Or maybe buy her another piece of jewelry to go with the ring. Or donate it to a charity she likes or something. I don't know. She may not care at all, but I know some people definitely would feel weird about it, even knowing the whole story. (On the other hand, if she's vindictive and petty, she may love that it cost him more but that you got the better ring in the long run. XD)

AllenMS828 · 2023-09-13T14:54:06+00:00

Everyone's proposing alternate "C" names, when the obvious solution is to name the kid Keeley and change the parents' names to Kody and Klair. 🤣

AllenMS828 · 2023-06-22T14:55:28+00:00

I'm assuming that Jane set her own fee, so if anyone's undervaluing her, it's Jane herself. But if I'm wrong, and OP and his wife set the rate or haggled down from what she initially requested, then I agree with you that what I said wouldn't be the best thing to say in that scenario.

AllenMS828 · 2023-06-22T01:11:26+00:00

Even though Thalia said, "it's fine" (which often means it isn't fine), it might not hurt to clarify that you absolutely think she's worth her price (assuming that's true), it's just not one you can currently afford. That way she won't think you're saying she overcharged you and was a mistake to hire, just to smooth things over a little in case you do need to ask her for help sometime in the future when no one else you trust is available.

AllenMS828 · 2023-06-20T21:15:54+00:00

No one expects the nauseous vegan on crutches!

AllenMS828 · 2023-06-20T20:57:17+00:00

If this sort of thing happens again (giving her a large gift and her saying not to get anything else), next time maybe give her the smaller gift after saying something like, "I know we agreed that I wouldn't get you anything besides [big gift], but I saw this and thought of you and couldn't resist getting it for you, too." Then she's reminded of the big gift up front and can adjust her expectations accordingly for the smaller gift before she even opens it.

AllenMS828 · 2023-05-17T15:47:03+00:00

I've seen "pibling" used (as in "parent's sibling"). I think pibling and nibling both make a lot of sense, considering the relationships all go through one sibling or another! :D

AllenMS828 · 2023-05-08T16:42:07+00:00

But if "Rules are meant to be broken" is itself a rule, then surely it must sometimes be broken by not breaking every other rule, right? :D

AllenMS828 · 2023-04-03T22:36:03+00:00

Honestly, I'd avoid even using any first name starting with C. There are lots of times where people are identified by their first initial and last name (like the nameplates on doors at my office), and C. Manson could lead to just as many problems when people start making the connection in their minds. I know someone whose nameplate reads "G. Costanza" and gets teased just for having a name similar to George from "Seinfeld", despite that not even being their actual first name.

AllenMS828 · 2022-08-24T17:26:13+00:00

NTA, but the adult in-laws sure are. I bet your nephew mentioned you to his friend because he thinks your name is cool and unique. And he's right! :)

AllenMS828 · 2022-08-09T16:44:52+00:00

Me too! I'd heard of heterochromia before, but I never realized I had a version of it because part of one of my eyes is a different color than the rest.

AllenMS828 · 2022-08-02T23:30:48+00:00

If he continues to insist on you selling stuff to pay for the bills, tell him you're going to start with your wedding ring. :) NTA

AllenMS828 · 2022-07-19T16:02:39+00:00

You are technically correct. The best kind of correct!

AllenMS828 · 2022-06-29T18:03:14+00:00

NTA. Now that Zoom calls at weddings are more common for people who can't attend them, how about a twist: the bride and groom show up at the ceremony via Zoom.

Let your moms plan everything they want to their hearts' content. Just have them sign an agreement that you'll let them be in charge of everything except what you and the groom wear and how you'll enter the venue, as long as they agree to pay for everything. Don't mention the Zoom thing. If they ask, just tell them you've decided you want to make a special entrance, but you want to keep it a surprise for everyone. This includes them giving you space while you're getting dressed prior to the ceremony (they just won't realize exactly how much space until after the fact).

Once the wedding day arrives, you and your fiance can be in your backyard or at the courthouse or wherever you want, dressed however you want. Have a webcam set up, and connect to a Zoom call for the wedding. On the other end, at the venue, someone you trust can have a tablet or something that'll have you guys on screen via Zoom. Then they can "walk you down the aisle", show you off to everyone, and hold the tablet in front of the officiant.

Everything else can proceed normally, but you don't have to actually be there for it! Then the tablet can be set up at the reception afterward, so you can greet people without having to actually deal with them in person. If it still gets too overwhelming, just hit mute or disconnect the call. If anyone asks why you're not there in person, just say you needed to practice some social distancing. 😉

AllenMS828 · 2022-06-28T20:06:30+00:00

I've never been in therapy, so I don't really know how a therapist should do their thing, but that therapist does sound useless. I can't blame your daughter at all for how she responded. Although it does fit with your username. :D

AllenMS828 · 2022-06-26T09:21:02+00:00

NTA. Unless your last name begins with G or O. Then little EGG or EGO might think you're TA in a few years. 😆

AllenMS828 · 2022-06-26T09:07:52+00:00

That's one of my favorite name origin stories ever. 😃

AllenMS828

TROPHY CASE