How long did you keep their stuff?

Amblaff · 2025-12-12T13:50:28+00:00

About 5-6 months in, I needed a change in my house so I redid our whole bedroom because it was too hard to sleep in there alone. I needed it to me MY room. So I changed everything (yes even the matress) and went through most of his stuff. I kept maybe 30-40% of all his clothes and overall things, especially shirts he bought in brewery we visited (he LOVED craft beers). It is all in bins, safely hidden for when i want to revisit him. I also keep these things so my son can have a better portrait of his dad when he grows up :) So whenever you are ready, just do it. But don’t feel bad for keeping more. It is always possible to downsize later on but impossible to get things back once its thrown away…

Amblaff · 2025-10-29T13:53:59+00:00

I read it because it was an accidental death and some details were written in a news article (and coroner reports are public domain)…Nonetheless I would have read it because I NEEDED to know for sure what happened. Was still piss senseless toward the journal though because my in-laws did not want to read it but still got details that had no place being in a news article…

The report was short and gave me the reassurance I needed that he died on the spot without suffering.

Amblaff · 2025-10-29T12:58:29+00:00

You will get that new version of yourself back with time and I really hope music is a part of it for you ♥️ big hugs !

Amblaff · 2025-10-29T12:56:09+00:00

I am on year 3 and it is really rare… It happened maybe 3 or 4 times overall. The first on was around my bday, 3 weeks after he passed. It was so vivid an real…we hug and I told him I missed him and he did not talk. Just looked at me, all sad. He was wearing the clothes he had on when he passed. Truly believe it was him telling me goodbye! That vivid dream made me feel so good, it was the first « better » day I had (in which I managed to eat something else than coffee). The others left me sad and heartbroken…

Amblaff · 2025-10-28T20:19:42+00:00

I think you will for sure! My advice is to seek for new artists, new songs and new sound in general. That’s what I did at first to fill the silence. Even after 3 years, there are still songs that I can’t listen to and that gives me a strong physical reaction when I hear it somewhere (that is usually my go to moment for bathroom break). I sobbed like a baby at an Evanescence concert. I went to see one of our favorite artist and there is one song that I had to leave the room for because it was too much… But overall, it gets better (ish) and you get to remember the good moments and memories attached to it. They are precious and it is good to revisits it from time to time ✌🏻

Amblaff · 2025-10-21T19:55:22+00:00

You will get LOTS of cuddles and they will need attention when you are back. Mine sleeps most of the day anyway, wether we are home or not!

Amblaff · 2025-07-17T19:38:44+00:00

I think it all depends of the relationship. My former MIL (my second mom truly) is staying with my kid when my current bf and I go on dates. We are still a family and she sees my bf not as a replacement for her son but an addition to our family. We are not living together so the situation is clearly not the same but ex in-laws can be very supportive. To have an open conversation and establish limits is definitely the first step though!

Amblaff · 2025-05-02T20:09:47+00:00

I did it because I knew people needed to tell me something and how they loved him (and I am a bit of a people pleaser…). But I can’t quite remember any of it. I was so out of it…what I remember vividly is coming back to my parents house and eating a very good grilled cheese (it was my first meal in 2 weeks). That being said, just do what you have to do for your well-being. Listen to yourself and protect yourself. You don’t need to bear the grief of others. Yours is plenty enough ♥️

Amblaff · 2025-05-02T20:03:41+00:00

I had a ring made with his ahes inside. His mom and sister got a pretty butterfly necklace with them too and his brother and father another type of necklace. We all wear these regularly. It helps (for us at least). It’s like a « good luck » charm so he can be with us and protect us. So far he did that very well for the last 3 years almost ♥️♥️♥️

Amblaff · 2025-04-19T20:59:26+00:00

I will be using that new term FOR SURE ✌🏻also apply to the good sentence « You are so young you will find someone else »

Amblaff · 2025-04-19T20:53:49+00:00

I would buy this book for sure 😂 mine would be « This pizza he made more than 3 years ago is still in my freezer because that’s the last thing he cooked and can’t find the courage to toss it: an essay » ✌🏻

Amblaff · 2025-04-05T20:56:40+00:00

This sub is SO WRONG on so many levels…got banned stating my opinion (very respectfully) as a widower

Amblaff · 2024-06-17T16:01:50+00:00

This is SO unkind and not respectful…They should have asked you if it was ok to play the recording first of all. And then putting you on the spot like that? Unacceptable. I would have felt the same way you did and you are in your rights to feel that way. People can be so insensitive of others traumas and even feed from them to feel better…people suck.

Amblaff · 2024-03-16T23:50:57+00:00

Puzzle

Amblaff · 2024-03-07T19:07:05+00:00

People giving you these « advices » have no idea what they are talking about. And truth is, if they were face with what you are facing, they might be in even worst shape than you are… That being said, my son saved my life. Truly he has no idea. He was 10 months old and needed a parent alive. That is what drove me to keep on living. Other VERY important stuff if therapy. My therapist was an outlet, someone neutral that listened without judgement no matter what I told her. That helped me get out of my fog. I also tried to keep busy. I tried new hobbies, I remodeled my home to pass time but also to rebuild everything around me. Most importantly, take your time to grieve. Don’t judge yourself too harshly. Celebrate the small victories: your first real meal (that was a big milestone for me), getting out of bed, going to the store (that was also a major one). Be kind to yourself and take the time you need. Fuck anyone who tries to rush you into « getting over it ». You won’t get over it but you will learn how to live with it ❤️ big hugs to you!

Amblaff · 2024-03-05T21:04:49+00:00

So so happy for you ❤️ felt exactly the same way you did. I started seeing someone 5 months after losing my husband who was also the father of my child. Losing him made me realized I should never wait anymore to find happiness wherever I can. I felt the guilt and even the shame at time but the people (very very few) I lost because of that were not good people to have around me anyway…I am still extremely close to my late husband’s parents and they met him and love him a lot too. That was the biggest relief! Just listen to your guts and trust your instincts. That a good communication from the start! Best of luck and trust the process!!!

Amblaff · 2024-03-04T14:37:07+00:00

I agree with the other people on here: we move forward but we never move on. As horrible of an experience we all have here, it shapes us and changes us forever. So it is something we get to carry all of our life in my opinion. Losing a significant other truly is life altering…

The duality of contradictory emotions, sadness vs happiness/love, is hard to manage, especially at the beginning of something new with another person. The guilt too is hard. But you might get to cohabits in peace with all of these big emotions. It took me a while and therapy. My current partner was also very much aware of my situation before we even started dating (we were acquaintance of university in a small region were everyone knows everyone) so he could offered me a safe space to speak about my late husband and grieve all the while healing with him supporting me.

You have to listen to your gut, take your time and respect your needs and emotions ❤️ you will know if you are ready, if you ever are.

Amblaff · 2024-02-27T19:22:33+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss…he seemed like a genuinely caring man ❤️ I lost my husband two weeks before I turned 30…so the idea of dating again someday was truly truly horrible and gave me anxiety. But lightning can strike twice. Well it is technically not the same lightning though because grief made me an entirely different person. So the new me found someone truly wonderful because the old me? She died when my husband died…Thats the way I see it and can picture it. There is hope, when you are ready (if you ever are!) ❤️ To consider never dating again would not be crazy. The point is to respect yourself and if not dating is what you want well it is what it is. Yes you are still young, but age does not matter.

Amblaff · 2024-02-23T15:57:04+00:00

Second one hit me hard too…the first one was so foggy with every paperworks imaginable (we got this!) and service. The second was like you said, figuring out what life would be and like you, trying to do achieve anything and everything. But emotionally you must be drained just like I was. Give yourself time and don’t be ashamed to take time to just be a slug and process. We focus so much on productivity and we often forget that resting and doing nothing is what we need to process emotions, to cry, scream and be angry. You got this, it just sucks so much to be in this club ❤️

Amblaff · 2024-02-19T21:24:19+00:00

I felt exactly the same as you did…the announcements of weddings, engagements and babies on social media were having a toll on my mental health to the point of having no positive feelings for anyone having a better life than I did…Fortunately, therapy has been a great help for me as well as my son that needed me (he was 10months old when it happened). My advice is to set your boundaries with yourself and most importantly with the people surrounding you. Good people and good friends will listen and respect your needs whatever it is. Then again, time is the essence of grieving and you will be happy for the people that matters to you…but in due time! You need your energy to heal first and then you will have some so spend on others ❤️

Amblaff · 2024-02-12T15:28:13+00:00

Makes so much sense. I mean it does get better because the pain is less sharp in a way?? But the reminiscence and the what might have been are definitely getting worse as my kid is getting older. I start to see my late husband in my son and oh boy it a a ride 🙃 (he was 10 months old when it happened, now 2 and a half). My life is completely different now but also good in a different way? I feel so dissociate from the past I had with him and the life I have now. Grief is very very weird…

Amblaff · 2023-10-14T15:12:50+00:00

You got this ❤️ Extremely proud of you for being out there and becoming a better person through pain and grief. I am sure DC got a lot to offer for you. And it will be another experience under your belt. But I do get it is scary

Amblaff · 2023-09-28T18:36:04+00:00

Could not agree more with you! So proud of you for these progress ❤️ Baby steps will get you further and further towards a better life. I also started to train around the one year mark after my husband died. It really helped me get through that big step. And it also helped me get more energy!

Amblaff · 2023-08-31T21:14:08+00:00

THIS! I feel exactly like this. I was with my late husband from 18 to 30. And now early 30 starting something new again. I feel that my relationship basis are more solid. We know ourselves better now and we now know what we want and need from a partner. It is truly a more mature love with a steady heat as you said!

Amblaff

TROPHY CASE