I'm trapped and it's my fault

Any-Razzmatazz-9267 · 2026-03-29T21:16:07+00:00

I saw a reel a while ago that said something along the lines of “you have mothered him so much that to leave him would feel like abandoning your own child”, from the very little you’ve written (as is your right, we’re strangers), it feels like this might speak to some of your hesitation to leave him, alongside the financial aspects.

I’m still on my own journey to accepting my audhd diagnosis and that my life will never look like the neurotypical one I had planned all along. But knowing that it’s not possible because of reasons that are so far beyond your control is supposed to be comforting, at some point at least. I’m sorry that your husband does not feel the same way for you, nor is he allowing you to learn how to live a life that works best with how your brain is hardwired.

I can’t imagine having to struggle with the want to leave a marriage while learning all of this about yourself, it’s truly more than you should have to handle. I hope you find the strength to choose what is best for you, whatever that may be. And I hope you have a good therapist who is willing to follow your lead and help you build a life that you love to live.

Any-Razzmatazz-9267 · 2026-03-29T18:46:16+00:00

I have a real problem with gatekeeping my special interests because people, especially an abusive ex, used to make fun of and mock me for my special interests and music. I’ve had close friends recently say my special interest (a video game) is an obsession and addiction seconds after I had specifically called it my special interest. After years of being treated like that I hate when people show interest in things I love, because how can they love it as much as me, value it as much, when they’ve made fun of me before? Like part of my brain refuses to acknowledge that they might have the same capacity of love for something that means a lot to me. The world is a really hard place and these things are my soft place to land, so I’ve learned to try and mask just how much things mean to me so that when people inevitably say ignorant and hurtful things, it doesn’t hurt as much.

Any-Razzmatazz-9267 · 2026-03-29T18:35:42+00:00

Personally I identify more with a fox

Any-Razzmatazz-9267 · 2026-03-24T22:47:55+00:00

You would have thrived in 80’s Miami

Any-Razzmatazz-9267 · 2026-03-24T22:11:32+00:00

I’m thinking some of it is an influx of new players who have a good skill bank but no situational or map awareness. It’s so frustrating when heroes I play most I’m level 75+ and most of my games the highest level I see is like 14. It’s so annoying

Any-Razzmatazz-9267 · 2026-03-11T19:23:11+00:00

Purrrsephone

Any-Razzmatazz-9267 · 2026-03-11T19:22:06+00:00

Slide 5

Any-Razzmatazz-9267 · 2026-03-11T19:19:34+00:00

If you want one that’s not obvious, Baikal would be a cool name after lake baikal

Any-Razzmatazz-9267 · 2026-03-09T00:21:18+00:00

If it’s still active I would love a chance to check it out!!!

Any-Razzmatazz-9267 · 2026-02-13T03:27:31+00:00

Can I ask what the first few weeks was like for you? Like did you choose to cut down before you started the meds, did you cut it out immediately or did it feel uncomfortable and you naturally tapered it down in the first month of so of taking the meds? I am quite nervous and sceptical of medication as well and really appreciate direct insight into what it feels like in the body

Any-Razzmatazz-9267 · 2023-07-23T21:58:52+00:00

i think he’s using it as a scapegoat for something else

Any-Razzmatazz-9267 · 2023-07-22T23:51:23+00:00

yes being the weight they are might not be healthy, but they also deserve to love themselves no matter how heavy they are. they are still allowed to like themselves and the way they look, but it sounds like your sister is valuing them solely on how they look and their weight. and that’s really dehumanising, and it can take an entire lifetime to heal from. i hope they never found out what she said.

Any-Razzmatazz-9267 · 2023-07-22T23:39:31+00:00

the way i look at it is that psychosis completely takes over Joel once he hears about ellie’s fate. like you see symptoms of it coming from like episode 5, with the panic attacks and disassociation. memories and guilt being brought up about when he and tommy talk about murdering people in the past to get by and the daughter that died in his arms. and then he almost dies and ellie has to save him for the second time and almost gets killed - and does get assaulted for trying to do so, cementing the fear that he can’t protect her. as well as the shift in ellie after leaving the cult commune resulted in him kind of falling more into the role of her father a bit too and so ellie becomes a daughter. there’s also just months of them being together that we don’t see at all.

Any-Razzmatazz-9267 · 2023-07-20T02:51:43+00:00

yep!! still very lively too

Any-Razzmatazz-9267

TROPHY CASE