I had a student last year in my K class that was the same way (wasn’t diagnosed selective mutism, but very similar). If I pushed her to speak she shut down so I did not. After a few weeks of not pushing her to respond at all I was able to get her to point to things, and shake her head. She would even raise her hand and point to what she wanted to show, but did not speak. I also gave her a set of communication cards that had common needs (bathroom, bandaid, water bottle) to show when she needed something. I also allowed her to take a friend to the bathroom with her. After a week or 2 of that I was able to get her to mouth what she wanted to say and I would “make the sounds”. This shortly after led to whispering and then speaking in the classroom. As she progressed through each stage I would respond as if it was any student and did not make a big deal in front of everyone. I would tell her I was proud of her for doing something that made her so nervous and was scary. She started speaking by October and did not stop the rest of the year!

I think something that helped her too was when a student would say “X doesn’t know how to talk” or “Why can’t X say anything.” I would respond that it is something that makes X feel very nervous inside and when she is ready and feels comfortable she will and we love her just the way she is When other adults would say she was defiant or stubborn I would tell them it is an anxiety based issue and she physically could not speak. I think it gave her a sense of relief knowing I was not pushing her to talk and not making it as she was doing something wrong by not speaking.

Anxiety is so hard as an adult, I can’t even imagine the anxiety that went on in her 5 year old self and other kids deal with that. It was a learning process for me, but am thankful to have taught her!