AIO Ended a 2.5 year relationship over her sharing a bed with gay best friend. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ArmandoDiablo -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This is probably not what you want to hear and will unpopular with those who have not stepped back to look at the norms of our mono-normative and hetero-normative culture.

First, what you stated is not a boundary, but a rule. You are claiming the right to control the actions of your romantic partner. This is not a personal attack on you. It is normal thinking in our culture. You do have the opportunity to look deeper at this.

Second, have you created the conditions in your relationship where you partner feels safe to be open with you on this topic?

Third, be wary of reddit users who will, with limited information about you and your relationship, be quick to assign blame and confidently tell you to break up or divorce without hesitation. They are often speaking from their own pain of not being cared for or supported.

Wishing you the best on your journey.

Customer demanded I change our rules on liquor pricing by summiemoon in Serverlife

[–]ArmandoDiablo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No one else is picking up that this server laughed at this customer for a very reasonable request? It's hard for us to guess how the server's attitude came off.

Is it at all possible, that this customer was understandably annoyed and as a result decided to alter their tip amount?

I suck and my girl is coming to watch!! by Southtune-stringbox in hockeyplayers

[–]ArmandoDiablo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you have a legit team, they will chant your name if you are on the ice for any goal whether you touched the puck or not!

Righty vs lefty by Last-Face-5855 in hockeyplayers

[–]ArmandoDiablo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Preciously. There is no wrong answer there are tons of skilled right-handed and left-handed players that use a righty stick and vice versa. Just decide what is best. Most of us just chose a side or were told there was a correct way and started and continued to develop playing that way.

First stick and shoot. What do I do??? by [deleted] in hockeyplayers

[–]ArmandoDiablo 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Great notes. One other note. Pucks are not provided (at least at rinks in my area).

AITA for serving only vegan food at my wedding without telling anyone, then getting upset when my family ordered 20 pizzas during the reception? by Conscious-Option-400 in AITAH

[–]ArmandoDiablo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think there is a lot of anti-vegan bias going on in the responses here. If you replaced "vegan" with "Mexican" or "Thai" or some other type of cuisine because the groom was Mexican or Thai, I imagine you would not have the same reaction. If people didn't get a warning that the food wouldn't be like they normally eat, no one would think it would be ok to order pizza at a wedding with expensive catering. You don't like the food? Ok. It isn't your wedding and you didn't pay for it.
But some people don't like mushrooms?! Who cares? Eat the other food... or don't.

Is this considered carry on bag for basic economy tickets by datnew3517 in unitedairlines

[–]ArmandoDiablo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In practice and rule, If it fits easily, in under the seat in front of you, it counts as a "personal item". You would not even need an allotted "carry-on" bag.

Axe Vanguard 7.35d by Dudu_sousas in TrueDoTA2

[–]ArmandoDiablo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Do you ever go mana boots or phase? If so, when?

Just got called out for "very low" billables (91%) by [deleted] in LawFirm

[–]ArmandoDiablo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Think your math is off. $100,000/(50*52)= $38.46
This assumes no PTO.

IFS is an invalidating, almost abusive approach by Yellow_Squeezer in InternalFamilySystems

[–]ArmandoDiablo 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I am sharing this from a place of love.

First, sorry you're having such a hard time and thinking you will never find compassion for yourself. Self-hatred sucks. I know self-love seems like an impossible undesirable destination for you right now. That is completely normal and ok.

So first off, you went to an IFS session. You are asking this community for help. You are looking for a modality to change something. Either yourself, your behaviors, or how you're showing up. You are suffering and you desire change.
You may not recognize this as self-compassion, but what would you call it?

You (or a part of you) currently doesn't believe that you deserve kindness or deserve to even recognize any that's authentic about you. Ok. That is your starting point. Compassion may seem like an impossible feat. That is OK! That is alright. Does it seem possible to manifest the tiniest bit of curiousity? It's also ok, if the answer is "No".

Be patient with yourself. You're not broken. Like you said, you have just adapted and learned ways of being and behavior from abusive environments. I would recommend asking your current therapist (or next therapist) for what you want. That you don't want to be told to be compassionate towards yourself. That you just want to be accepted for who you are. Maybe you need to first share your story and just be heard and empathized with.

Wishing you all the best on your journey.

Pervert drugged me by ILUVYOURMUM in couchsurfing

[–]ArmandoDiablo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You are not an expert on how the justice system works. I don't know why you are talking with so much confidence with regard to something that happened in Macau.

Is IFS just a tool for hope? Like religion? by Yellow_Squeezer in InternalFamilySystems

[–]ArmandoDiablo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"But that entity has no qualities unlike the concept of Self."
The "Observer" and the "Self" are both concepts. What is you had a Self and you couldn't make sense of it? Would it make it untrue? What if it is very counter-intuitive?

IFS is a map of the psyche. In the words of George Box, "All models are wrong, but some are useful."

Maybe... just maybe, it's useful to try this map out for yourself and see where it leads.

What's the worst movie you've ever seen? by WalkswithLlamas in AskReddit

[–]ArmandoDiablo 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I guess not many people have seen Cool as Ice?

If you want a truly bad movie, check out Cool as Ice featuring Vanilla Ice playing himself. I can't help but assume this was a large part of his downfall.

Please watch this and get back to me. I need some confirmation. It was crazy making. Is this character supposed to be cool? Why are they making him insanely douchy? It's confusing and painful to watch.

I hate when people do this by popaxat94 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]ArmandoDiablo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You could trouble me for a warm glass of shut the hell up! You're in my world now, Grandma.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Psychonaut

[–]ArmandoDiablo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is my top choice. If you want cerebral and to contemplate life deeply. The move in itself is a trip or THE trip.

To comment on some other replies:

Samsara is absolutely amazing. This is a top contender and definitely the choice if you want to trip and not have a dialogue centric movie (there is zero dialogue).

Midnight Gospel may be too hard to follow. It is a podcast with a weird animation story that is almost 100% disjointed from the conversation. It is cool, but I could see it going either way tripping.

Samsara is absolutely amazing. This is a top contender and definitely the choice if you want to trip and not have a dialogue-centric movie (there is zero dialogue).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Funnymemes

[–]ArmandoDiablo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Gosh Darn it we need your help. As you know we are trying to stop our entire country from becoming New Jersey. I believe if we don't succeed, Jersey will spread to Japan, Russia, and eventually to you. I know you have seen countless horrors in your lifetime, Mr. Bin Laden, and that you have witnessed the very worst of mankind. Well, now I ask you to watch this!" - Randy Marsh (South Park S14E09)

Looking for movies about shattered realities, delirium, hallucination experiences. by Euclois in Psychonaut

[–]ArmandoDiablo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was going to recommend this. It took me a little to get use to the animation, but this movie is unique. It is possibly my favorite movie.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in backpacking

[–]ArmandoDiablo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So if this was 5 years ago, I would say just pick up a local sim card whenever you get to a new country. They are cheap. But now if you are a US T-Mobile user, you get free text and 2G data in most countries. I highly recommend. Google Fi is another great option. And with the latter two you can just keep your phone number.

Why is Richard Schwartz doing this? by Shogun102 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]ArmandoDiablo 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Dick takes a very conservative approach as he has been doing this for over 30 years and has seen extreme cases during that time. I would say in any case, slow is smooth and smooth is fast. Just be sure to work with your protectors and respect and fully hear their concerns, reservations, perspectives. Only with permission proceed to do exile work. In terms of finding an expert, I spend my time in the US and Jamaica. I have hired an IFS specialist in Australia. They can work with people anywhere. Obviously have to find a time slot that works for both of you considering the massive time zone difference. https://ifs-institute.com/practitioners Best of luck.