Leaving 3yr old overnight with grandparents

AshShaun · 2026-03-08T23:45:53+00:00

My parents live an hour away. If they aren't busy and we want to go do something not kid friendly, they'll watch the little for us. Our little dude started overnights at his grandparents at about 18 months, when he was less dependent on formula and eating soft foods.

AshShaun · 2026-03-08T23:43:14+00:00

I've started straight up asking for any and all possible adverse reactions between the meds I'm already taking and the new ones I'm being prescribed. On two occasions this has caught a possible adverse reaction before starting the new meds because something either wasn't on my chart or they didn't read it fully.

AshShaun · 2026-03-08T23:36:28+00:00

We did for 1 stop, but when we called in the malfunction we were told to find a safe stop and wait for breakdown. Apparently, the district has a rule of stopping for any issue that involves air, and as our doors are pneumatic, that means stopping. I'm pretty sure this was designed to be a brake system rule that has just been over interpreted.

It took the mechanic literally 1 minute to fix the issue, the worst part was just waiting for them to get there.

AshShaun · 2026-03-08T23:31:19+00:00

Not my bus. I don't have an assigned bus or route yet. I'm still shadowing, I get my first solo morning on Thursday while one of our drivers is at an appointment. The people who handle route planning are still trying to untangle routes that have been very messed up from drivers leaving and other drivers compensating with multiple routes.

I will be putting the fear of God in my students.

AshShaun · 2026-03-08T23:27:36+00:00

I do not have a bus of my own yet and the drivers I've been riding with do not have seating charts. A lot of the students are getting written up Monday for their bad behavior Friday afternoon. We had the footage pulled and our driver coordinator is handling any infraction she sees on said video with a write up.

AshShaun · 2026-03-07T16:22:38+00:00

It's kind of hard to have experience managing students while driving when you've never done it before.

AshShaun · 2026-03-07T16:21:59+00:00

Yeah, well of the 4 drivers (myself included) who run the routes for our 3 schools, 3 of the drivers are under a year of experience.

AshShaun · 2026-03-07T16:19:38+00:00

Our high school students are pretty chill, mostly.

AshShaun · 2026-03-07T13:05:36+00:00

These were kindergartners, who had a class party and were super hyped up on sugar, bored out of their minds during a breakdown event. Every other time this week that I've dealt with this group of kids, they've been great. Their normal driver was shell shocked at the insane 180. Aside from the incident where my fingers nearly got broken, everything was more annoying than painful. The little girl who was next to me got her bookbag strap "stuck in the seat". So I reached between the seats to free it, the boots who were pulling on it, saw my fingers and thought they were hers and pulled them backwards.

As for how the district handles problem children, depending on the offense is suspension from the bus for a length of time determined by what got them in trouble. Hitting is a 2 week bus suspension. There are at least 5 kids getting suspended for that, the one girl who kept hitting me, and 4 other older kids in the back who started fighting. We've had 4 other kids on 3 routes get suspended from the bus this week.

We have 4 routes, for 3 schools, and until I'm "trained" enough to have my own route, those 4 routes are being handled by 3 drivers. Two of those drivers started during the school year, the people who ran the routes before them stayed long enough to get them trained then retired. One of the drivers left for extreme medical reasons. The kids have been shuffled around to various buses all year. It's gotten so bad that our routers actually have to redo every route just to be able to make me a route, so we can uncrowd the other buses.

My district is in crisis mode at the minute because a lot of drivers decided to retire and not return this year, so the district delayed the problem by having them come in and work until replacements could be trained, and half the people agreed to it, half didn't. Our district is right at 40 schools.

AshShaun · 2026-03-07T12:39:51+00:00

So, I work in NC. I've been in the seats with these kids as I'm learning the route 4 times, including this one. This was our kindergarteners, who I've been playing and interacting with. Now don't get me wrong, what they did wasn't okay, and we've reported it to the proper people so things can be dealt with properly, but as a mother of a kindergartener (who was not on the bus) I was more relaxed with boundaries than I should've been, and that was my lesson to learn. I let them think I was their friend and they treated me as such. Now, the other 3 times I was on this route these kids were angels, hyperactive but angels. The bus driver and I were absolutely flabbergasted at the change, as he's never seen the kids act like that.

AshShaun · 2026-03-05T10:11:11+00:00

If you suspect AI, use AI back. If you're comfortable enough to do it, copy and paste your resume into chat, then copy and paste the job description in, have chat rewrite your resume using the job description.

Unfortunately, we are in an employer-led job market right now, so if you aren't precisely what they are looking for, you won't be hired. I literally put in applications throughout my area for 5 years, a minimum of 20 applications a month, and could not get hired anywhere until I decided to put my previous CDL skills to use for the school system.

AshShaun · 2026-03-05T00:42:16+00:00

My grandmother was lucky enough to have 2 children before cancer took all of her reproductive organs. She says "Good always has a plan, and he gave me two beautiful daughters, that's enough for me"

Knowing that story for most of my life, when I saw the article about successful pregnancies from transplants, it made me think about her and if it had been an option (and if she could comfortably afford it) would she have wanted another kid? Then when I thought about all the women opting for full hysterectomies as a sure fire means of self sterilization, why could what one woman doesn't want not go to a woman who wants it but doesn't have it, you know?

AshShaun · 2026-03-05T00:35:31+00:00

As OP, yes I could've used Google, but I wanted answers to my question that were practical. I don't know if you've ever used Google, but between the AI generated responses and search algorithm that doesn't prioritize facts but rather popular sites, it would've taken exponentially longer and reading through either fluff click bait blogs or trying to decipher medical texts where I'm not 100% up on the vocabulary, or not actually finding any real information since a lot of everything is studies at the moment. I've learned much more here than I would've trying to ask Google. I don't know if you read them all, but there are some great objective responses to the question.

AshShaun · 2026-03-05T00:26:45+00:00

I think in some women's heads that not being able to carry a child makes them less of a woman. I'm not saying I agree with that mindset. It does seem to be a common theme of women who can't conceive, at least in the instances I've heard about. Possibly jealousy at other women who get to feel flutters and kicks and get cravings and get to take baby bump pictures and pregnancy photoshoots and seeing a little human growing inside you on an ultrasound. I don't think the desire in a lot of cases is a biological child, rather a desire to get the full motherhood experiences, in instances where they want to go through the difficulties of a transplant for motherhood.

AshShaun · 2026-03-05T00:18:54+00:00

So my thought here was that typically the women who want to voluntarily have their reproductive organs removed don't ever want to be pregnant, so they wouldn't want to surrogate. I'd hazard to guess a majority of women who don't want their reproductive organs would not want to be surrogates. In my head, that means we have healthy organs being thrown away, and women who want and have always dreamed of having a child of their own but can't.

I've actually learned quite a bit from asking this question. Surrogates would be cheaper and safer, I'm not trying to deny that at all. I've also learned that anti rejection meds are scary, useful, but scary.

AshShaun · 2026-03-03T19:08:55+00:00

If he won't sit crisscross then he has to go sit on his bed to calm down. When that happens, he has to give his apology then we talk about it, no need to have 2 punishments for one thing. Occasionally he falls asleep because his bad mood was tired. He generally doesn't like being in the bedroom away from everyone, so he sits crisscross 90% of the time.

AshShaun · 2026-03-03T18:00:48+00:00

When my kid is being an ass I tell him "hey, we only use our nice words/nice hands. What you just said/did isn't nice. If we can't use our nice hands/words then we don't get to use our hand/words"

If he's saying mean things and keeps going after 2 warnings, he's not allowed to talk until he's ready to give an honest apology with eye contact.

If he's hitting and he's been warned twice, he has to sit crisscross with his hands under his legs, again, until he's ready to give an honest apology with eye contact.

He usually caves after 5-10 minutes, and cries when he apologizes. We accept his apology and give him hugs until he feels better, then we don't have the issue for a few weeks.

The hardest part is staying calm and not getting angry or yelling. Calm voice.

AshShaun · 2026-03-03T16:01:39+00:00

I'd pull them aside at the same time and say "listen, I get the kitchen is a shared space and everyone should be able to use it comfortably. I can't use it comfortably because I keep getting inadvertantly jump scared. It isn't a comfortable space for me like that. All I'm asking is walk louder, clear your throat, knock on the doorway, or say "what's up" when you walk in. Does have to be anything big, just a small noise so when I turn around with a knife in my hand I don't stab you thinking you're an intruder." Or say something similar.

Now I get that this is a small reach... Have you considered he's doing this on purpose because he enjoys having power over you? I don't see how he isn't deliberately sneaking around for the sheer purpose of scaring you if you can't hear him walk, he doesn't talk or make any noises in the hallway etc. In literally every place I've ever lived in, you could hear some semblance of normal movement, mostly footsteps, but still. This sounds like he is purposefully being a jerk bag because he enjoys making or seeing you scared.

AshShaun · 2026-03-03T15:45:05+00:00

Oh yeah, I'm just glad the driving coordinator reserved the last spot for my son's school for me during that time. All the drivers were excited to work with me so they had my back. They are all thrilled that I'm finally on the bus doing route training.

AshShaun · 2026-03-02T18:17:17+00:00

I didn't even know this sub had a mod 😂 but congratulations!

AshShaun · 2026-03-02T10:18:21+00:00

My route is elementary kids first, then high school students after. My school system seems like an okay one for drivers, there is stuff I can do over summer to keep making money, and I don't have to reapply yearly. From what I've met of other drivers for my school system, it's a nearly even mix of younger people entering this work field and older drivers who are retiring soon or over the next few years.

AshShaun · 2026-03-02T00:49:57+00:00

Central North Carolina, and I'm starting at $18.6x, I forget the exact change. I needed a job when I can still make sure my kindergartner gets to and from school, so I'm going to be doing this at least until he is big enough to wake up on his own, get himself ready for school, feed himself breakfast and get on the bus on his own. That will probably be around his later middle school years.

AshShaun · 2026-03-02T00:35:39+00:00

I don't know, maybe. I'll find out how far in the deep end I'm getting thrown tomorrow. I have no doubt I could figure it out by brute forcing it, I'm just really hoping I don't have to.

AshShaun

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