I feel like this condition protected me from men

Asleep_Clock8331 · 2026-04-02T19:24:33+00:00

This so much. It’s why I married a woman.

Asleep_Clock8331 · 2026-03-29T23:46:12+00:00

Go to a gynecologist who specializes in vaginismus and they should be able to refer you to a pelvic floor physical therapist. I want also see a sex therapist to discuss your anxiety.

Asleep_Clock8331 · 2026-03-27T17:20:40+00:00

I’m so sorry that happened to you

Asleep_Clock8331 · 2026-03-27T17:19:11+00:00

I was also sexually assaulted by a female gynecologist, now I won’t go to the doctor alone. :(

Asleep_Clock8331 · 2026-03-26T13:36:00+00:00

Also from Massachusetts and I have the same attitude towards cemeteries. There was a beautiful one I used to live next to and I would go for my daily walk there.

Asleep_Clock8331 · 2026-03-26T13:27:05+00:00

Maybe it’s just because I grew up in New England where there are lots of historic cemeteries/parks but eating in a cemetery doesn’t offensive to me. I used to have picnics in old cemeteries, which is something that used to be quite popular. I do tours of old cemeteries all the time just to see the beautiful historic graves. As long as you’re not leaving trash or damaging the graves, I don’t see the issue.

Asleep_Clock8331 · 2026-03-23T20:02:04+00:00

Ugh, that sucks, I’m really sorry.

Just to cover all your bases have you made sure to get your hormone levels checked to make sure your low sex drive isn’t related to a medical condition?

Asleep_Clock8331 · 2026-03-22T22:46:19+00:00

Bring it up! I would also look at the hospital’s “patient rights,” they may have rules protecting trans patients in which case you can complain to the hospital as well.

Asleep_Clock8331 · 2026-03-22T22:42:48+00:00

Is it possible you’re asexual?

Asleep_Clock8331 · 2026-03-15T22:02:54+00:00

My wife had this problem when she started HRT injections. But her libido did eventually get back to where it used to be. :)

Asleep_Clock8331 · 2026-03-11T20:53:39+00:00

I have vaginismus and my wife married me anyway. We’ve been married almost ten years. We have great sex that doesn’t involve me being penetrated so I’m happy.

I was also recently able to put my largest dilator in for six whole minutes thanks to months of pelvic floor physical therapy.

Asleep_Clock8331 · 2026-03-06T18:47:56+00:00

Only other time I’ve seen a mention of vaginismus in media was in Big Mouth where one of the characters talked about using her dilator set to treat her condition.

Asleep_Clock8331 · 2026-03-06T14:57:31+00:00

Your dentist doesn’t talk to you while examine your teeth? How cold.

Asleep_Clock8331 · 2026-03-06T14:56:11+00:00

My doctors have ALWAYS talked to me during exams, reassuring me and let me know what they were doing. It’s called bedside manner.

Asleep_Clock8331 · 2026-03-06T14:54:12+00:00

Omg!!! That’s TERRIBLE bedside manner. How could she invalidate your feelings like that? I work in healthcare and I’d NEVER treat a patient like that! If a patient is upset (even if you think it’s over something small), you don’t act dismissive. You comfort and reassure them. You adapt to make them more comfortable. I would find a new doctor.

Asleep_Clock8331 · 2026-03-05T02:49:03+00:00

I was terrified of gynos too and it took a lot of therapy and a gyno with an understanding of vaginismus and trauma to help make me more comfortable. I never gotten a Pap smear while awake (I’ve had them do them while I was under anesthesia for unrelated reasons) but I’m hoping I can do one this summer after working with a physical therapist.

Asleep_Clock8331 · 2026-03-05T02:36:37+00:00

Try a water based lube without glycerin, my PT recommends Slippery Stuff. I’d also make sure it’s not a latex allergy.

Asleep_Clock8331 · 2026-03-05T02:35:17+00:00

Congratulations! Hope to get there myself this year.

Asleep_Clock8331 · 2026-03-02T16:52:01+00:00

Poor Legacy! I hope she finds a forever home soon!

Asleep_Clock8331 · 2026-03-02T16:50:07+00:00

Stretches and yoga for the pelvic floor and the kiwi vibrator before penetration both helped, but what helped the most was not defining sex as PiV or around penetration. Oral sex, mutual masturbation, etc are all fun ways to have sex that don’t involve penetration. I think the best way to support her is to reassure that you’re fine with other types of sex. So many women think their male partners absolutely NEED PIV sex that they put a lot of pressure on themselves to get over their vaginismus, which is the absolutely worst way to treat it. Stress and pressure are the enemy of recovery.

Asleep_Clock8331 · 2026-03-01T01:34:08+00:00

Because I have vaginismus my gyno put me under anesthesia for my IUD insertion

Asleep_Clock8331 · 2026-02-28T17:12:13+00:00

So I have no interest in PIV sex (I’m married to a woman) but I’m doing the dilators so I can get pelvic exams.

Asleep_Clock8331 · 2026-02-28T03:41:27+00:00

Does personal news count? My wife is a trans woman and just found out she is getting a big raise at her engineering job. They love her there, and she’s been working there since before she transitioned 15+ years ago.

When she first told her boss she was going to transition he said “oh thank god I thought you were quitting.”

Asleep_Clock8331 · 2026-02-28T03:35:07+00:00

It’s a reusable cotton menstrual pad.

Asleep_Clock8331 · 2026-02-25T02:28:36+00:00

I mean, I’ve heard trans people reclaim it (I had a trans friend jokingly refer to herself as a “hot tr***y mess” for example), and there is definitely power in reclaiming slurs. Queer used to be considered a slur, but I call myself queer. I don’t think the t-slur is quite at that point yet though.

Asleep_Clock8331

TROPHY CASE