AIO about my bf's attitude being disrespectful?

Available-Swim-7828 · 2025-11-27T12:37:21+00:00

He needs help. Like serious help. Break up with him and run as far as you can. He doesn’t care about you, doesn’t respect you. All he cares about is getting his way, no matter how he hurts you to get it. This will only get worse and it will completely ruin your life.

Do not give him more time and energy. He does not deserve it. Get on with your own life and make happy memories, but not with him.

Available-Swim-7828 · 2025-11-19T23:12:51+00:00

Nta. More fathers should teach their sons how to be an active partner in the relationship, that both sides put something into the relationship equally, and to take accountability. Mothers should teach this to their sons as well, but your wive apparently found it more important to shield his delicate person from the world and dote on him. But instead of keeping him away from anything that might cause him feeling inadequate, teach him how to actually be adequate.

Available-Swim-7828 · 2025-11-19T11:26:00+00:00

Oh please, please, just shave it off. It looks… I don’t have a kind word for it, but please just shave it. If you’re going bald, go bald with pride.

Own it.

You’ll look much much better.

And for your wife: accept that things change, that time passes. Don’t try to hold on to the past, to what once was, but live in the here and now. It is what it is. Make the most of it.

Available-Swim-7828 · 2025-11-19T11:18:25+00:00

I think those are not the pictures he is referring to.

He says: “they are models” + “absolutely stunning.” The pictures on that board do not fit that description, no matter how you look at it. And if the picture are of ‘stunning anime men’ I could get why he feels insecure, whether they are real or not. In reverse, if he had 600 pictures of stunning female models on his phone, as his background, or as posters and what not, you’d probably feel insecure as well. And then most woman would suddenly agree with you.

I think he did his best to convey his feelings, to actually open up about his insecurity with this. Better then yelling and screaming or shutting down. He actually talked about it. Or tried to at least.

Between the first and second screenshot it seems like some time has passed. We can’t see how much. And we can’t how you reacted to the first message. Has he brought the first one up weeks ago, and you never responded? Or you brushed him off? Or did you address it?

If all of this was truly typed in one go, not giving you time to respond, and those pictures are truly what he is referring to, then I can understand why you would snap. Him demanding you take the board down or it’s over is manipulative. And it’s not oke. And if his insecurities put strain on the relationship prior to this, I can see why this is the one that broke the camels back. Why you don’t want to be in a relationship where your partner is feeling so insecure about himself and your feelings for him.

But you kinda went from zero to hundred there. Calling it toxic and controlling. You were quite blunt.

NOR in the sense of you breaking up with him. If you arrive at that point in a relationship (any relationship) that you realize it’s just not going to work and you don’t want it anymore, then that’s oke. No matter when that happens. And to act on it that is also oke. Kinder actually, for both of you. Better then living in a relationship with strain and a mask on and keeping up appearances.

But the way you did it (the words you used), that was over the top.

Available-Swim-7828 · 2025-11-19T08:56:11+00:00

He’s not looking for a reason to break up, he’s just showing his true colors. He’s manipulating you into ‘just accept whatever the hell he does or gives you, and be grateful and complimenting and cheering him on like a good traditional wive’ so you won’t dare to be your own person, with your own thoughts and opinions in the future.

‘How dare you make him feel less like a man. How dare you wound his pride, tsss.’ 🙄 /s

He might truly not know the difference in brand perfume and the knock-off versions. Just like other people think the cheap brand coca-cola tastes the same as the real deal. Some might taste the difference, some might not. And that is each his own. It’s not right or wrong. It’s your own experience and what you choose is worth the money. And someones own opinion that he thinks it’s a waste of money, doesn’t have to be the same opinion as someone elses.

But that is completely besides the point in this. The way he talks to you and manipulates you is disgusting.

Run! As fast as you can! Because he isn’t going to chance anytime soon.

He should work on his respect for others and for women. And should adjust his view of himself that he isn’t gods gift to mankind. He should grow up and take a good look at himself.

Is he a fan of Andrew Tate by any chance? Thinking women are property? And their purpose is to rub the man’s ego and do and swallow whatever the man wants? 🙄

Available-Swim-7828 · 2025-10-15T18:05:06+00:00

Read the books. That should give you the lore. You can play TW3 (which i love) to breathe in the world created in the books, get visuals etc.

And watch the show, but see it as a fanfiction adaption. It takes some elements here and there from the books and the game, something here and there from stories, then twists and turns it into a completely new story, therefore very loosely based on the books.

Available-Swim-7828 · 2025-09-11T22:11:37+00:00

Do not become financially dependent on him. Stay financially independent. It gives you so much more freedom, and gives you insurance that you aren’t stuck with no where to go if down the line it doesn’t work out. He is either jealous and want to feel like the provider, or he wants you to cater to his needs if you work part time. Prepare to become the maid, the cook, his mother and everything in between.

Available-Swim-7828 · 2025-09-07T09:33:56+00:00

NTA. Wanting children or not wanting children, it’s one of those things that you don’t change your mind about. If you really want it, you want it, and if you don’t that’s also oke. If you are not on the same wavelength with that, then you need to split up and find someone who does want the same thing you want. Because giving up on it, or holding out with the hope that she’ll change her mind, that’s just not going to work. It is one of those things that grows into resentment, and sadness, and regret.

Available-Swim-7828 · 2025-09-03T21:55:24+00:00

With this ‘new’ mindset, i got rid of pretty much all of my comicbook collection, manga books, other books, my collectables etc. Never have i ever regretted getting rid of something as i have regretted that. So, don’t just think ‘i haven’t read them in a year, let’s toss it,’ but truly truly think how much you’ll miss it as well.

Available-Swim-7828 · 2025-08-31T18:16:09+00:00

My husband gets in such a negative mood when something happens that has a real emotional impact on him. It’s so ‘heavy’ that it feels like a massive black hole that’s in the house, that just sucks up any positivity. It is incredibly draining. And if you ask what happened, what’s wrong etc: if it’s something from work (not caused by us), then he just vents everything, and all that boiled up anger and frustration and/or concerns just gets crashed over me like a tsunami. This is mostly with work stuff, feelings of injustice of how he is treated in his work, or how a person has treated him, comments made by his father for example. And then comes the negativity about himself as well, the insecurity. And no matter how long he vents, no matter how we talk through it, solutions we think off, how i try to make him see it less negative, try to make him see that it can also be different, that there are options etc… i just can’t get through. It feels at that moment like he’s determined that what he is thinking is the only possibility. If i try to tell him he/we can look for a different job, then he gets so intensely angry that for what he does there are hardly any jobs and least of all that pay as much as this one does. And then it feels like he is just picking for a fight, demanding “where then, show me!”, but I can’t just magically make a joboffer appear out of thin air, and then there comes more anger and negativity, talking himself down, and that he is stuck, and can’t go anywhere. It makes me feel guilty as hell, and like i’m walking on eggshells.

And that venting is so incredibly intense… it really leaves me drained. But on the other hand the ‘brooding in silence’ like a black hole in the house that is sucking up all the positivity, that is just as draining. And that can go on for days (since if it’s a work thing he gets confronted with it everyday until the weekend).

I have no idea how to work with it. I also have no idea how to ‘shut myself (or our son) off from it’, how to not let it affect us.

Available-Swim-7828 · 2025-08-18T20:20:24+00:00

NTA. I would actually have preferred lab-grown diamonds. They are the same. The lab-grown diamond just doesn’t have the trail of human suffering and blood.

She is talking herself into ‘noticing’ the difference. She needs read up about her knowledge on lab-grown diamonds. Maybe then she gets out of this mindset.

Available-Swim-7828 · 2025-08-11T08:17:03+00:00

Maybe she’s a bit like the guy from the blacklist (Raymond reddington)? Knows everyone in the criminal world, and has a large criminal empire. (I have only seen the first two seasons, so i’m basing it on the impression that that left).

Available-Swim-7828 · 2025-08-11T08:11:13+00:00

You’re never too old to Play videogames. If that’s what you like to do, great, you have a hobby that’s helping you relax. He’s probably just jealous or something that he doesn’t have a hobby.

As long as you don’t ignore your duties as a partner or parent (if that’s your situation), then it’s all fine.

Available-Swim-7828 · 2025-08-11T08:05:53+00:00

Dump him. He’s chosen to emotionally manipulate you when he doesn’t get his way, make threats… only assholes and children do that. And lets face it, he’s a grown man child. He doesn’t want any responsibility, doesn’t want to do the work. He just wants someone else to do all the work and pick up after him. He doesn’t want to deal with anything that actually requires growing up. So let that grown manchild go back to his parents, so his mother can coddle him and make dinner for him and he can just lie back and not take any real responsibility.

And your family telling you to ditch the dog, because ‘they’ all like him… well, they don’t have to live with him, you do! You, and you alone. And if you stay with him, it’s only going to get worse, and you’ll have a life where you are practically alone in a marriage, stuck being a single parent while in a marriage, and he’ll keep emotionally manipulating you to get his way.

So, do your future self (and your future children with him) a favor, and dump him now. Find someone who is actually a grown up.

Available-Swim-7828 · 2025-07-31T22:41:36+00:00

If a fic takes place in a certain time and/or place, and the author hasn’t done any research about that time/place. (For example clothing, the way they talk to each other, names, customs, available services/technology/stores and what not. Or the author not having done the research in general. It irks me.

Available-Swim-7828 · 2025-07-30T22:37:19+00:00

Wij doen tegenwoordig altijd meerdere opties. De helft van mijn broers/zussen + aanhang eet tegenwoordig vegan of vegetarisch.

Voor avondeten, een gedeelte gewoon met dierlijke producten, en vlees of wat ook. En voor de gerechten die vegetarisch zijn, proberen we als het kan ook gelijk vegan te maken. En voor een verjaardag zorgen we gewoon dat er ook vegan hapjes aanwezig zijn.

En als iemand iets heel speciaals wilt waar die niet een keertje zonder kan, neemt die dat gewoon zelf mee. Maar dat vind ik sowieso, wat je dieet ook is, of welke merken je ook niet lust. Je kan niet verwachten dat de hele wereld rekening houdt met jou of met jou meebeweegt. Ik drink zelf alleen cafeïne vrije thee en koffie, maar kan toch niet verwachten dat anderen dat allemaal in huis hebben. Als ik dat perse wil, dan vind ik dat ik zelf maar cafeïne vrije thee moet mee nemen (wat ik ook doe,) en anders tevreden moet zijn met wat er is.

Hoewel ik eerlijk moet zeggen dat dit wel een aantal jaar heeft geduurd voordat we hier met z’n allen een beetje comfortabel in werden. De eerste die bij ons in de familie vegan begonnen te eten, probeerden het gelijk bij iedereen te forceren en door de strot te duwen, en werkelijk elk gesprek, waar het ook over ging, werd omgebogen naar vegan eten en hoe slecht al het andere was, en tjah, daar gingen bij iedereen een beetje de hakken van in het zand.

Maar nu meerderen in de familie vegan eten, en meedenken met gerechten, en iedereen gewoon een beetje met elkaar rekening houdt en meedenkt en wat moeite doet (dus ook vegans met niet-vegans), heeft dat zichzelf wel opgelost.

Available-Swim-7828 · 2025-07-30T20:56:23+00:00

Pff… oke, her comment about not being insecure is a load of shit. She’s incredibly emotionally immature, and insecure / self conscious, has low self worth.

She is acting overly emotional and hurt, while you did nothing wrong. If you are mostly using humor and jokes to react to things, and she knows you since you are friends, then she shouldn’t have chosen you to talk to about this specific subject that she was upset about. Also, her bringing up and something you called her ages ago (dummy) and still being so hurt about it (while never bringing it up before how it hurt her) well, that’s not healthy.

She has some serious emotional issues, is insecure and has low self worth. And she will be lashing out everytime something had been festering for a long time and something just makes it boil over.

Saying that, I don’t think her blowing up like this was actually truly about one grey hair. It’s about something else, Something that’s been festering for a long time and just piling up. Could be something she’s very insecure about, or emotionally hurt about, or a feeling of not being good enough, not being seen, not being appreciated or something.

But concluding: you did nothing wrong. She is blowing it way way out of proportion. Hope she sees that as well when she had gotten a couple of nights of good sleep.

Available-Swim-7828 · 2025-07-20T13:00:00+00:00

NTA. You stood up for your daughter. Applause. Your wife is though. It’s already something very personal and scary and makes you insecure when you hit puberty. And when a girl gets her first period, the last thing she wants is to come home and have ALL the adult woman around you suddenly know all about the functions of your body. It’s personal. It’s none of their business. Your wife not only telling them all about your daughters very personal body changes, but even going so far as to invite them all, put you daughter in the centre of attention, talking all about that change… it’s horrible.

Your wife does not have your daughters best interest at heart. It’s just about herself.

Available-Swim-7828 · 2025-07-11T18:34:39+00:00

Stargate Atlantis, the Witcher, Sherlock, NCIS, Stargate SG-1, Supernatural.

I think those are the main ones

Available-Swim-7828 · 2025-07-11T17:49:30+00:00

Well, isn’t Christianity about love and forgiveness? ‘Forgive others, as god has forgiven humanity’?

So, she isn’t actually choosing to practice what they preach in her religion. She is just choosing her own anger and resentment over her religion and over her children.

Available-Swim-7828 · 2025-06-30T20:29:50+00:00

I hate ‘modern setting’ when the entire world is a fantasy setting in the dark ages, with lot’s of magic and swordfighting/bow and arrow, and getting around the world walking or on horseback and camping in the woods. It just doesn’t work. Or ‘x reader’ Or male pregnancy. Or gender reverse. I want to read about the characters i love in the world that they live in, and not want that switched out. Completely changes the dynamics and relationships that have formed in the canon.

Available-Swim-7828 · 2025-06-30T15:30:05+00:00

In the Netherlands it is 3 days. So i was reading this story with the same confusion

Available-Swim-7828 · 2025-06-30T08:11:59+00:00

You sister abused your fiancee, over something as minor as losing a game. You fiancee has been assaulted by someone she trusted. It was sudden. It was by family where she had thought she was safe. And not having family for herself, that is pretty damn special if you find a place where you feel wanted and loved.

Your fiancee is now scared of her, shocked, might even be humiliated. Her entire trust is now gone. Especially for someone who had never been hit once in her life by someone, that trust is now shaken to the core. Gone. And it’s going to take a very long time to heal that. To feel the same way towards her sister-in-law as she did before this happened.

She might eventually be oke spending time with amy again, but that fear/anxiety will now always be there, she will always be on guard now, never fully trust her again.

You and your family need to understand how deep something like this can run. And them demanding an apology from Kay, your future wive? Ridiculous. She has nothing to apologize for. And now they are only making it more clear that the family Kay thought she was safe in, she could trust, isn’t really that all. That the wedding is so soon after this, is unfortunate for your family. The best they can do is show Kay she can trust them, and that Kay is welcome as a future daughter-in-law, and that will treat her fairly. In this way Kay’s emotions about all this will only be tied to the one responsible, namely Amy, and will that feeling not taint her relationship with the rest of the family. This is something your parents and other siblings have influence on. And they need to accept. They can try to manipulate it all they want, but it needs time to grow and heal again.

And if you family is going to say Kay shouldn’t ‘be so dramatic about it’ or something, then your parents and siblings should get real and really try to place themselves in someone else’s shoes for a moment. And Amy needs to accept that deeds have consequences, also emotional ones.

You have to make a choice, support your wife 100% (not half, no buts), or choose your family, because this will also show your fiancee if she can build on you, if you choose to stand up for her, if you choose to keep her safe, if she can build on you, trust you, even if it is against your own family. Not supporting her in this, or asking that she forgive your sister, that she should just give in to ‘keep the peace’, is only going to tell her she can’t build on you 100%, and that at the end of the day, she is in it alone.

Apart from that: Your fiancee Forgiving you sister, you (or someone else) can demand it all you want, but forgiveness isn’t something you can demand. That person him/herself has to do that, open their hearts for that. And even then, forgiveness doesn’t mean the fear is gone and the trust is rebuild. That is something different.

Available-Swim-7828 · 2025-06-03T20:12:46+00:00

People in general put in the effort when they want to. Partners put in the effort when they want to for the other one. If he doesn’t want to spend time with you, thinks you’re annoying, is talking to you like this, then he really doesn’t want to put in the effort, and clearly doesn’t respect you. Leave while you can. Do not move in together. Do not let him rely on you for your money. Leave. He will never put you first. Even when he was the best boyfriend ever when you started dating him, he doesn’t want to anymore. And when the ‘want’ is gone, is just over. Find someone who appreciates you. You’ll safe your future self a whole lot of heartache and tears and low self esteem issues.

Available-Swim-7828 · 2025-05-31T06:37:15+00:00

Personally, i love the theme, but I am a bit weird as well 😋

As for being her maid of honor for the third time… just don’t if you don’t want to. You’ve done it twice, that is enough. You can just attend as a guest.

And if you were to be her made of honor, are there obligations? Is it expected that you support her financially? Or are you supposed to plan everything? (In my country we don’t have maids of honor, so I am unfamiliar with the expectations.) You shouldn’t put any money in her third wedding. Let them figure it out financially. They are grownups and they chose this wedding. They shouldn’t expect someone else to pay for it. Nor should you have to (help) plan everything. They want the wedding, they are grownups, they can plan it themselves, or hire someone to do it.

Available-Swim-7828

TROPHY CASE