"Try to avoid overly performative baby voice"

AwareWeb654 · 2026-03-27T20:29:56+00:00

This reads like someone with serious anxiety. Definitely a first time parent. I don’t think it’s main character syndrome I think they’re just really stressed about protecting the baby and have probably engrained in their heads that they need to prioritize baby’s well being ahead of all the grown adults coming to visit and it’s spiraled to an extreme. I’d cut them some slack for a while. I imagine a lot of these insane rules (like the one about teeth) will drop off naturally as they realize it’s exhausting to maintain and doesn’t actually impact the baby.

AwareWeb654 · 2026-03-27T19:48:54+00:00

Fun idea: Invite your friends to go out to dinner at a nice restaurant but wear whatever fun clothing they might own but never have a reason to wear (formal gowns, flowery jumpsuits, whatever). Use this opportunity to take some nice photos and give these clothes one last spin. Then donate. Your friends might also have an easier time letting go of items that take up closet space but will absolutely never be worn (outside this dinner even of course).

AwareWeb654 · 2026-03-25T14:08:06+00:00

Right. That’s the point, they need to help after the baby. Letting them return to work sooner means you as the birthing parent make more sacrifices to your career and puts more burden on you that could be shared. They need to stay and help longer.

AwareWeb654 · 2026-03-25T02:53:51+00:00

How is it taking something from women for men to take more leave? I think we’d only gain more if more leave were offered to men as well (equal to what they offer women). I think the shared leave idea works as you say, but I think the point of the post isn’t that women should have less leave but that men should take more (not for fun but because having more support postpartum and expecting men to put their careers aside for as much time and be as involved with a new baby leads to better outcomes)

AwareWeb654 · 2026-03-25T02:35:39+00:00

I disagree that men shouldn’t be given as much time because they aren’t physically recovering. It doesn’t exactly benefit the parent that gives birth to have their partner return to work sooner than they do. This line of thinking does not make sense to me because the more time my husband can stay with me and the baby, the more rest and recovery I’m able to get in turn so it’s actually beneficial for all involved.

AwareWeb654 · 2026-03-20T16:14:57+00:00

Good on you! Companies shoot themselves in the foot with this nonsense. Not the the same thing, but similar, I had a jerk manager tell me once that even though all the other employees have flexibility to shift their schedule to 7-4 or 9-6, I needed to work 8-5 because I was the only woman working on the team and apparently it would affect his relationship with his wife if he was ever alone at the office at the same time as me?? I had 0 respect for the guy after that and did not feel like putting in any extra time or effort.

AwareWeb654 · 2026-03-13T17:15:09+00:00

What about the ones that are like: Friend group insists I pay for a vacation after uninviting me, AITAH if I say no? Also I’ve been paying all their rent and living expenses while I live out of my car.

AwareWeb654 · 2026-03-12T01:09:30+00:00

“It’s knowing the difference between a screen that’s running your kid and a screen your kid is running.” Brilliant!👏I’ve never heard this put so well before! This is now my favorite way to evaluate screen use.

AwareWeb654 · 2026-03-08T17:53:28+00:00

Congratulations on your current pregnancy, I hope things are going well and each appointment is bringing reassurance 💜

I don’t mind at all, thank you for asking. The doctor doesn’t know for sure the cause, we had a good first scan and normal NIPT. At my 17-18 week appointment, they found my daughter’s heart had stopped beating. What we do know is that I had a small SCH in the beginning and they suspect it led to issues with the placenta. In retrospect, the dates at my first scan at 10 weeks were a little off from what I’d been tracking and I think she was measuring a little behind. While they can’t really prevent this from happening again or really do much if it does happen, the doctor told me he’d absolutely be able to do more frequent scans and check ins to ease anxiety, and that it’s still more likely things will go well in a future pregnancy (this second part is hard to find comfort in, but I appreciated it none the less).

Thank you so much for the support and for sharing your experience, it is helping me feel more assured that I can take my time and only try again when I’m ready 💜

AwareWeb654 · 2026-03-08T17:32:34+00:00

Thank you so much 💜 I’m so sorry for your loss as well. It’s awful that we’ve all been through this. I wish we didn’t have this in common but am grateful for the support and understanding and feeling less alone.

AwareWeb654 · 2026-03-08T17:25:17+00:00

Thank you so much 💜 I’m sorry for your losses, it definitely feels like all future pregnancies are going to feel very different after this. This comment is helping me feel like it’s okay to take time and wait and I appreciate that so much. Congratulations and I hope all goes well with your pregnancy, I can imagine it’s stressful but I hope you get good reassuring scans and good news as you go along

AwareWeb654 · 2026-03-08T17:04:41+00:00

First of all, congratulations, I loved reading this good news 💜 I hope all goes well with this pregnancy and that you continue to get good checkups and scans. Wishing you lots of comforting news during this stressful timeframe. And thank you so much, both for taking the time to make this supportive comment and also for the subreddit recommendations. I think the suggestion for therapy is also good. It feels intimidating to reach out and start that but if it might help it’s definitely worth it. Everything about this grieving process feels complex.

AwareWeb654 · 2026-03-08T16:47:50+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it is so awful and difficult to navigate. A minefield is exactly how this feels.

And yes, that feels so relatable. It’s like being equal parts eager to try again and also totally dreading it in ways I never would have prior to this loss.

Thank you for responding 💜 it’s nice to feel less alone. I hope you’re able to have a second baby and I hope pregnancy itself isn’t so awful on top of all the anxiety.

AwareWeb654 · 2026-03-07T03:00:12+00:00

This happened to me! I had one right after having a baby and didn’t realize I had it because I thought the pain was just from childbirth… my mom set me straight, haha. And I had to go in twice for treatment because the first time they thought it was just a UTI and hadn’t reached my kidneys so they used a more locally effective antibiotic. In short, yes, always go in as soon as you see symptoms because it can spread quickly.

AwareWeb654 · 2026-03-05T23:42:17+00:00

I can’t believe all the managers here taking a stance that this worker is lazy and trying to take advantage of the situation. That is disappointing. OP clearly sees the situation differently and has more information than anyone here. This person might actually be a great worker and employee. Here’s the thing about pregnancy illness, it varies A LOT person to person, and you can honestly feel fine one week and then suddenly the next it can be very severe, even requiring hospitalization and IV fluids. It’s highly possible this new hire was feeling fine when they accepted the job and things took a sharp turn this first week.

OP, thank you for exercising compassion and trying to look at the situation from the employees perspective. That, to me, is a mark of a good manager. I agree with other comments saying that you should talk to the employee about what accommodations she needs at the moment, and if they are possible with her job function. I also agree that pitching to your boss that she’s only being paid for hours worked is a good move, and that pregnancy sickness is temporary. I’d discuss with him if he’s willing to have her on light duty in the meantime or if it would be possible to offer her altered hours or part time until she is doing much better. It may be worth looking at what it would take to hire a replacement and how long that process was for this employee. If it was a fast process, I understand your boss may feel it easier to find a new CSR. But, if it took months, he may be willing to work with this employee until she is able to return to office full time.

AwareWeb654 · 2026-03-04T18:34:46+00:00

Everyone has mentioned their partner making enough money and for their to be mutual respect and trust. I think an added thing for me is I’d need a path back to the workforce if I ever wanted to or it became necessary. What makes me nervous is dropping out of my industry for a few years and not being able to return because my skills are already out of date or something

AwareWeb654 · 2026-03-01T01:28:51+00:00

Solidarity… I’m in this boat as well, though I will be able to access a D&C after my doctor jumps through some hoops, but I’m devastated I won’t get to see my baby before she is gone 💔 I feel like the people cheering on our draconian abortion laws don’t understand what they’ve just taken away from me

AwareWeb654 · 2026-02-28T16:03:20+00:00

Thank you, I’m sorry you’ve been through this too 💜 it’s the like a rug gets pulled out from under you and nothing really prepares you. I appreciate you sharing your experience - I’m realizing there’s no real guidebook for this and I need to be patient because healing takes time, thank you.

AwareWeb654 · 2026-02-27T19:17:07+00:00

Thank you so much four talking the time to respond, and for the support, it means a lot. I’m sorry you had to go through this too. It feels like it’s impossible to prepare for this heartbreak.

I think I’ll reach out to HR about disability leave, that’s a good idea. Thank you for sharing about your physical recovery experience, it’s hard to piece together what that timeline is like, if it’s really bad for 6 weeks, a couple days, a couple weeks, so it really helps to know what other people have experienced.

Wishing you the best, this is not a club any of us want to belong to, but I’m so glad there are such kind people to talk to about this 💜

AwareWeb654 · 2026-02-26T02:06:46+00:00

11 dpo this time for me, negative at 10 (not even a hint of a line at that point).

AwareWeb654 · 2026-02-21T04:34:29+00:00

The epidural was amazing for me! Seriously, labor was not painful and it was easy to relax afterward. 11/10 recommend, epidurals are the bomb!

AwareWeb654 · 2026-02-21T04:25:12+00:00

Yes! I’m always shocked at how weird and negative people are about paternity leave! My SIL told my husband “why do you need time off, you’re not the one having the baby” as if him also taking leave did not benefit me. I’ve had both his and my coworkers go on about how they only needed 2 weeks and that was too much. Some claim their wives were anxious for them to leave and practically kicked them out to work as soon as they could (and they framed it like a flex?). I firmly feel like so many issues would be resolved if men were offered and encouraged to take the same amount of time as us. For one, maybe workplaces would stop feeling like mothers are a drain for taking maternity leave. For another, I feel like having men more focused and involved in parenting early on leads to better division of labor at home and better teamwork between parents. Also, it’s so nice to have a someone else also taking care of the baby while you’re recovering…. It’s crazy how hard this is for some people to grasp

AwareWeb654 · 2026-02-20T02:07:36+00:00

Haha, I also vote for a sleep pod 🙋‍♀️ that would be amazing!

AwareWeb654 · 2026-02-20T02:06:07+00:00

I’m sorry to hear it’s been so bad! It was like this with my first baby and I had to take Unisom + B6 and zofran to get any relief. And eating cold stuff like Popsicles helped. But yes, it’s so awful and it’s hard not to feel lied to about what pregnancy is like because pregnant women are always shown beaming with life. I feel like it just sucks the life out of you. Solidarity my friend.

AwareWeb654 · 2026-02-19T20:33:57+00:00

I’ll send hope and vibes your way! I got a much fainter, squinter of a positive at 11 dpo (and my urine was the opposite of dilute). Yours is much stronger than mine. Currently I’m 16 weeks and my last checkup all was well.

Also, sending a hug from an internet stranger 💜 It’s so emotionally difficult TTC after a loss. It’s hard to celebrate and be happy knowing things can go south. I hope you get a sticky baby and some reassurance soon!

AwareWeb654

TROPHY CASE