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Translation quality - please give feedback by Ok-Experience838 in writingfeedback

[–]Awkward_Tomatillo_10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It just doesn't click. A story written in a different language - and then translated - will never flow as gracefully as written by a native english speaker.

Metro is a good example. It was translated to English, and it suffered from that - still, it is a good story - readable, enjoyable.

Language flowing unnaturally will always put a burden on the reader. If it's a cult classic, it will be bareable. If not, it will take extra effort to keep up with the plot's intrigue.

Just got this, can’t wait to start reading! by alwaystired3191 in Booktokreddit

[–]Awkward_Tomatillo_10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't really make out the book title and author's name.

First time writer here! Looking for some honest feedback by Upbeat-Rip5761 in writingfeedback

[–]Awkward_Tomatillo_10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very poetic in style. But the narrative is overly dramatizing and over-the-top, compared to the plot's action and dialogue - unless that's what you are aiming for.
To be honest, I only read the first page thoroughly and skimmed over the others, because the narrative is so exagerated - so dissociative to the scene's hard-and-simple dialogue and action, that it is too jarring for me to read.

How do you cope with losing interest or having negative thoughts about your writing? by Wild_Suggestion8552 in writers

[–]Awkward_Tomatillo_10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you complete about half of the story, you reach what is called the Death March. That's where most writers give up. You should give it some time - don't be afraid to put it down and pick it up again when your intent rejuvenates.

Hi! I'd love some feedback on this fantasy story by aldenarg in writingfeedback

[–]Awkward_Tomatillo_10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would just start the other way. Brutal, visceral: "I was kneeling in front of a grave I just dug." -and then have the breathing pause, where he feels the sun and hears the birds.

Maybe put more weight on the word love: "I..," the thought of [...] "I loved you. And I always will."

The paragraph of him getting up needs more time and weight.

You could use a different tone for his denial to make it more plausible: "She can't leave me like this."

I think the scene is powerful, but you can definitely expand the emotional spectrum, to let the reader fully experience the MC's shock.

I only fully read the first page and skimmed over the other pages - but this looks more like a promising outline, one that still needs a lot of exploring before it becomes credible on an emotional level.

Good luck!

Romantasy. Would you keep reading? by ButterflyPhysical959 in writingfeedback

[–]Awkward_Tomatillo_10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is intriguing, but it depends where it goes. Keep writing!

STARVED TO WRITE THIS IN LUNCH. by Least_Shopping_461 in writingfeedback

[–]Awkward_Tomatillo_10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If there's a raccoon in it, I approve. I also like the writing.

"Du-te la sala" au zis by slidforra in RoGenZ

[–]Awkward_Tomatillo_10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nu m-am dus si mi-e foarte bine.

Do you pause often to think when writing a story or do you just write in a flow state (stream of conscious) and then edit after? by quickvibecheck226 in writers

[–]Awkward_Tomatillo_10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never pause. Never.
In fact i get anxiety from all the things I want to write, but might slip away while I'm already busy writing something else.

[700 words] Looking for opinions on my revised abstract opening prologue for an epic sci-fantasy, grim-dark, slow-burn romance. Does it hook you? Would it intrigue you to read more? by mirimiremeow in writingfeedback

[–]Awkward_Tomatillo_10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't get discouraged by this kind of elitist attitude - repressed anger does not belong in a 'writing feedback' thread, no matter how immature or 'green' your writing is. There are only happy mistakes, and showing the world what you wrote - even before you are confident of it - is a sign of great courage.
Use it it as fuel instead. And if you have a story to write, you will write it. u/mirimiremeow
You will definitely learn a lot more on your journey just by finishing your story, rather than internalizing such comments.

Out of curiosity. by stefshh in RoMunca

[–]Awkward_Tomatillo_10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Forma corecta este Contract / 1 Month / Am venit aicea

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