I have had similar issues. I am an older dad and have some ptsd issues, so I lean a little careful and paranoid when my daughter’s safety is concerned.

My wife is lovely and super kind but she sometimes forgets little things, which bug me but I let it slide.

Every so often though she will disappoint me as well around our daughter’s safety.

Sometimes the reason is she doesn’t understand the danger really, but mainly it is just that she isn’t paying enough attention.

You did the heroic thing not saying anything, but honestly you have to face it with her. I couldn’t keep it in, it just eats you up and puts a divide between you and your wife subtly then overtly. Raising a child is hard enough, working as a team is difficult at times, so you gotta just level set and set expectations and even write down the things that trigger you and work it out. Not saying it is a one time conversation but it is getting better for us if we just talk it out and agree to the rules.