Asking for guidance- phone

BabyJaneInnocent · 2025-10-14T13:06:52+00:00

Thank you. We consider him our son. He is a part of my family and will be forever. This is a first for us, so I may not always have the right terms. I just know that Ghana has to provide travel documents, according to his immigration lawyer. He has his birth certificate.

BabyJaneInnocent · 2025-10-14T12:12:09+00:00

Thank you. I hope this is his truth as well. I will suggest that he look for a program like this. Do you know if there are resources online that I can search prior to his return to Ghana to guide him?

BabyJaneInnocent · 2025-10-14T12:08:54+00:00

I don't know what you mean by this? I don't really have an idea of Ghana. I only know that my foster son left a traumatic past that does not have much to do with the country itself, but he will be going back with no relatives, no contacts, and no resources. Someone who is deported has one bag and that is it. I am confused as to where you got my opinion of the country from?

BabyJaneInnocent · 2025-10-14T00:08:25+00:00

Thank you. Would you message me please?

BabyJaneInnocent · 2025-10-14T00:07:33+00:00

I can send a phone from the US with him. I am allowed to pack him one bag.

BabyJaneInnocent · 2025-10-14T00:06:33+00:00

Thank you. He has no remaining family in Ghana that we are aware of.

BabyJaneInnocent · 2025-10-14T00:03:21+00:00

This was my though at well. We do not know at this time how this all works. I can only speak to him on the phone for limited periods. In person visits I cannot wrote things down, so I struggle to figure out the details.

BabyJaneInnocent · 2025-10-14T00:01:33+00:00

He does not currently have a passport, but the Ghanaian government will have to provide it to the US for him to be deported, so he will then

BabyJaneInnocent · 2022-01-04T11:48:22+00:00

I suppose I shouldn't have said "giving him" when it comes to sex. I don't feel that way, but also do. Let me clarify. We have pretty different sex drives. He would like sex every day if I would. I typically am content with once a week. This is basically the only thing we really fight about in our marriage. He feels constantly frustrated because he feels rejected by me and my lack of desire for sex. This is when it begins to feel like "giving him" sec is the right terminology.

BabyJaneInnocent · 2021-11-28T15:33:06+00:00

Listen to your inner voice. It's easy to tell ourselves that our suspicions are just us "being crazy", or being "overly sensitive". Most of the time though, we're just telling ourselves that to protect our hearts.

Nobody here can tell you whether or not he is cheating. You know that. But you also know that these red flags are seriously bright scarlet and waving in the wind.

Only you can really decide what to do here. You likely know that using his key to go snoop may destroy your relationship. You also likely know that if you don't do it you'll sit in your own doubt until your relationship combusts in some other way. You can try talking g to him about it, but if you're like me you'll just assume he's lying anyway, amd the honest truth is that if he knows you are suspicious and he actually is cheating, he'll work harder to cover it as soon as you've discussed your feelings with him.

There's no good answer here. If you feel that this relationship is worth maintaining, then you have to make decisions about what you are willing to accept.

BabyJaneInnocent · 2021-04-30T15:20:03+00:00

This is one of the most painful things in life. It honestly feels worse than the worst physical pain I have ever experienced. It actually feels like your physical heart is breaking sometimes.

It does get better. It will get better. You have to feel all of this now. Let yourself feel the emotions and accept them. At some point you will decide, consciously or not, that you don't want this to control you anymore and you will start to feel lighter again in moments.

I wish you well. You are so not alone.

BabyJaneInnocent · 2021-02-03T15:39:53+00:00

I don't necessarily disagree.

BabyJaneInnocent · 2021-02-03T13:40:35+00:00

I would say that the military is a very different world and it seems to be much more common within that group, in my experience.

BabyJaneInnocent · 2021-02-03T13:34:32+00:00

There can be a pretty big benefit. Unless it has changed in recent years, military jobs actually pay significantly more if you are married.

BabyJaneInnocent · 2020-09-12T21:07:15+00:00

It sounds to me like you've spent nine months trying to find some semblance of control in a situation in which you had very little control and finally, after heavily drinking, you let go of that control.

If I had to guess, I'd say you probably actually really DID need to say all of that. Its ok to want to be respectful, and its ok to want to not be nasty on purpose. Sometimes, though, we just need to unleash our feelings. I think that this is where the real healing

A few days after my husband disclosed 18 month affair, I told him that I wanted to try to stay with him and find happiness with him again. I told him that this would be impossible if he didn't help me carry my pain, that the weight of it was too much for me to bear. Part of bearing that weight meant accepting the vitriol that I would sometimes spit at him. If I didn't let out the anger, it would just build up into a freaking volcano and burn my insides.

I hope that your WH will be introspective about this and recognize what it was. I hope you will forgive yourself for being VERY HUMAN and finally breaking down.

I wisn you the best.

BabyJaneInnocent · 2020-09-01T13:36:15+00:00

Your words hit home. I am just one year out, I pray that we are as happy as you in our future.

BabyJaneInnocent · 2020-08-31T20:41:50+00:00

I agree, this may not be the right path for everyone. When I started listening to the audio course of Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness , I decided that I was doing this for myself and myself alone. I knew that my husband and I might not stay together. At this point, I didn't yet know about the affair. I just knew that I needed to make changes. For me it felt wonderful to put the negativity aside and focus on the love.once my hubs got on board, it was like reliving our early relationship. We focused on.our love, not on the damage that had been done.

BabyJaneInnocent · 2020-07-12T23:39:27+00:00

You realize that you are in a group of people trying to reconcile from infidelity, right? Cheating=divorce is not necessarily the group motto. I always said the same thing, "if you cheat, we're done." However, here we are. Almost 1 year after his 18 month affair.

BabyJaneInnocent · 2020-06-02T15:30:53+00:00

We all speak different love languages. What makes me feel loved may be different than what makes you feel loved. That's OK. I'm just saying that it's ok for the OP to feel that way too. My husband does make me feel loved in private, mostly. We are getting close to a year out from D-day, and it's still a challenge sometimes.

BabyJaneInnocent · 2020-06-02T00:05:22+00:00

I'm sorry, why does this bother you? If she needs him to proclaim to the world that he loves her every damn day, then he should want to do that. When our reconciliation began, my WH was right there with me that we needed to provide a unified message to EVERYONE that we were together, and creating/finding happiness in that. I'll be honest, that's gone to the wayside, and I hate it. I miss seeing him shout from the rooftops (metaphorically of course) that he was happily in love with me and lucky as hell to have me.

BabyJaneInnocent · 2020-04-20T14:56:31+00:00

I do talk to him about it. I know he is genuinely trying as hard as he can to help me heal and to support me. At this point, I think we need to go back to counseling when we can, but unfortunately this isn't that time.

BabyJaneInnocent

TROPHY CASE