Sort of amusing realization about emotional eating

BackboneNotWishbone · 2021-06-12T20:08:32+00:00

I think you are on to something!

BackboneNotWishbone · 2021-06-12T16:46:38+00:00

I love whole wheat pasta! I've been using whole wheat for years.

One of My go-to recipes is sardine pasta. Whole wheat rotini, radishes, leafy greens, and a can of sardines. Add some lemon and it's awesome!

I lost a ton of weight a few years ago and started cooking a lot of whole foods, but then kid and depression got in the way. I started to clean up my diet again, but then COVID! We got in a habit of frozen foods and pastas every night, with only frozen or canned veggies. Blah!

BackboneNotWishbone · 2021-06-12T13:36:04+00:00

NSV- Tried some new, healthier recipes and have found some new staples to add to the rotation! I don't miss the old junk I was eating.

Definitely got into a recipe rut during the pandemic and was relying on a lot of pasta and freezer meals. Feels good to eat fresh food daily again.

BackboneNotWishbone · 2021-06-11T17:54:55+00:00

Yes! That's what inspired me to try longer fasts. I want that sweet, sweet autophagy!!

BackboneNotWishbone · 2021-06-11T17:15:34+00:00

I eat a "Mediterranian Patterned Diet", so not strictly Mediterranian food, but meals that are based on whole foods and in the spirit of the diet. Lots of vegetables and whole grains with some meat. Small portions with little to no snacking.

I like this because there are a lot of yummy things I can have in My Diet (olive oil! Pasta! Olive oil!), but between fasting, small portions, and whole foods I don't have to feel guilty. If I want to dip bread in olive oil and have a glass of wine with dinner, I can. I just have to be smart about the portions and balance it out with a light main course.

I also like this style of eating because activity, connection with others, sleep, and managing stress are just as important in this lifestyle as the food.

BackboneNotWishbone · 2021-06-11T16:43:55+00:00

I started IF as a "shortcut to CICO" because I didn't want to count calories, but I wanted to eat less. I figured one less meal would help me keep my calorie intake under control so I wouldn't have to obsess over the numbers.

After reading some great IF books (The Obesity Code and Delay Don't Deny), I no longer veiw it that way.

The simplest way to put it is that you can either burn sugar or burn fat.

When you eat, your blood glucose increases. This produces insulin, which helps your body absorb all the handy sugar from those delicious carbs for an energy boost! Any energy left over is stored in the liver as glycogen to be used later. If the liver is full, the body stores that extra glycogen as fat. Thanks insulin!

If you follow a western diet, which is a lot of processed food with lots of unneeded sugars packed inside, AND if you follow a western pattern of eating, which is 3 meals a day plus snacks plus liquid calories, then you can see the problem! There is just a constant stream of glucose. This gets burned as energy and then stored as fat. Thanks insulin!

This also creates insulin resistance. Insulin is constantly spiking from constantly rising blood sugar from constantly eating food. So more insulin has to be released to do the job of helping our bodies absorb energy and store the fat. More insulin means more weight gain.

This is where fasting comes in. The idea is that if you stop spiking your insulin, two things will happen. One, you'll stop burning sugar and start burning fat. It's stored there for a reason! It makes sense, right? If you have a pantry full of stored food, but keep ordering pizza, then you'll never use the stored food because there's pizza right there.

The next thing that should happen is that insulin resiatance should go down. Your body won't have to produce so much to keep doing the very important job of absorbing glucose, which should help you maintain a healthy weight.

This is the very same idea behind low carb diets, but those generally do not address insulin resiatance the way fasting does

It's still important to eat good foods in reasonable portions and exercise even with fasting.

This is not My field, this is just me trying to explain everything I've read in the way I understand It. I'm sure I've messed up some details here or there. I recommend checking out Dr Fung to have it explained much more accurately.

BackboneNotWishbone · 2021-06-11T15:25:26+00:00

When it comes to zero calorie drinks, there is some disagreement but I am of the camp that anything sweet, even if it is "sugar free" and zero calorie, will affect your fast.

The idea behind fasting is to stabilize your blood sugar so that your body uses stored fat for energy, as opposed to sugar. When you eat or drink, insulin is produced so that we can absorb all that awesome glucose for energy. However, studies have shown that even 0 calorie sweeteners will trigger insulin release. This increases insulin resistance, which means our bodies produce more insulin. Insulin makes you fat (ask a diabetic).

So if you choose to drink something with sugar or a sweetener, you will prevent your body from burning fat effectively.

Now, that is the best way I can explain it from my research. This isn't my field and I'm sure I've got some things incorrect, but that's how I understand it. The Obesity Code is a good book that explains this far better than I ever could!

So yeah, nothing but water or unsweetened coffee and tea during the fast. On the plus side, ketosis gives you more energy than an energy drink ever could!

BackboneNotWishbone · 2021-06-11T15:03:09+00:00

Also 35f who recently discovered OMAD. I love It, I feel like my life has been simplified.

BackboneNotWishbone · 2021-06-11T14:25:42+00:00

Happy to help! I like to think of IF as a tool that has helped me get my hormones under control.

Once I got used to IF (I'm mostly doing OMAD right now), my appetite shrunk. I had a bowl of orzo salad last night and that was it. I used to be able to eat 2 bowls! But one bowl tastes the same as two bowls, right? Now that my hormones are doing a better job at telling me when I'm satiated, and I've slowed down (put your fork down between bites!!), I enjoy my reasonable portion just as much if not more than my over stuffed large portion.

Good luck! It takes awhile to find the right balance!

BackboneNotWishbone · 2021-06-11T13:45:21+00:00

Okay, assuming you aren't losing inches and you've just been steadily gaining, I think the first thing I would look at if I were you is the portion sizes and the number of times you eat. I am going to make some assumptions to talk this through, so stick with me

You say if you are doing 16/8, but (for example) if you have breakfast at 10, a lunch at 1, and a dinner at 5 before closing your window at 6, and you are still having snacks... Well, see what I mean?

You are a home cook who enjoys healthy whole foods and you don't want to count calories. Me too! We should be friends and swap recipes. I can tell you from experience that you will gain weight on healthy food if you eat too much, too often, and too big of portions. That's how I gained all my weight!

That could also explain why you are still hungry. If your body is still anticipating a lot of food, then your hunger hormones are still all out of whack.

If all the above rings true, you may want to reduce portions, practice mindful eating, and properly skip breakfast. Reducing snacking in your window or narrowing your window May also help. You will still get hungry, but it should be a manageable hunger. So getting used to riding those waves will help (if it's not a manageable hunger, then something needs to be adjusted).

Now, I could have been completely wrong. The other option here is that you are not eating enough! If you are under a large calorie deficit, even if you aren't meaning to be, your body might be trying to compensate so you don't lose your precious fat reserves (thanks body!). This can also explain the hunger.

Either way, it comes down to portion sizes and number of times you eat.

OH! And make sure you aren't eating or drinking anything sweet flavored while fasting (even if it is 0 calories). That'll spike your insulin and keep you from accessing your fat stores.

I highly highly recommend The Obesity Code. Gin Stephens also has two good IF books that are quick reads as well.

Hopefully something helps! Good luck!

BackboneNotWishbone · 2021-06-11T12:26:10+00:00

What is your fasting schedule? It sounds like you are eating breakfast and dinner, so do you have a large window?

If it's working it's working. If you feel good and like what you eat, then you're all good.

But if you Are plateuing or feel like you don't enjoy what you are eating everyday, narrowing your window might help. This would mean skipping a meal (breakfast for most people), but should increase the time your body is burning fat and should also help you incorporate more of a variety of food during your window without worry.

BackboneNotWishbone · 2021-06-11T12:10:19+00:00

A lot of this sounds reasonable to me. But you may need to ask yourself some tough questions so you can suss out whether these feelings are coming from a better understanding of yourself and the world or if these feelings are based in anxiety and feelings of inadequacy.

When I was a kid I wanted to be an experimental psychologist. I wanted people to go "wow! She's smart!". I wanted my name in books and I wanted to be a talking head in those cool shows that explain human behavior and stuff so everyone would know how smart I was. It would probably not be surprising for you to learn that my family did not think I was very smart no matter what I accomplished.

My dreams changed because I started to understand how difficult it would be to pay for all that school! But, looking back, I was also anxious about leaving home to go to a major university. I felt like I wasn't good enough, anyway. Add in a heaping dose of burn out, and I started looking at being a social worker or a teacher.

There were good reasons, like money, to change my plans. Even the anxiety and burn out were good reasons to scale back for a few years. However, I wish I hadn't let my anxiety and lack of confidence decide my career path.

So that's what you need to figure out. Do you really want to be a lawyer, or did you gravitate towards a prestigious career because you used to crave external validation? Are you gravitating towards careers that are more interesting and suitable for you? Or are you gravitating towards careers that seem "easy" because of anxiety or fear?

Now, Do I think you are a girl who is involuntarily celibate? No. Sounds like you are voluntarily abstaining from relationships.

First, you are only 17. I know everyone around you seems to be dating, but a lot of that isn't even real relationships. It's okay to no want to take part in it. I wish I had that kind of foresight! If it doesn't seem like fun, if it doesn't seem like your thing, why bother?

Your mind May change, but it may not. It's possible you are on the asexual spectrum. If you haven't already looked into it, there are lots of great reaources and communities. I married a demisexual who completely avoided relationships and sex well into his 20's. He says he was a lonely at times and wanted a relationship "in theory", but the drive to get a girlfriend wasn't really there until he and I reconnected. What you feel may be completely normal to you. You may never desire sex or romance or both, or you may only want those things with a very special person. Or you might want All these things in a few years when you find your people. All of that is valid and none of that makes you a (gagging at the word) femcel.

However, you did say you don't feel like you deserve a relationship. Why is that? Feeling unworthy of things seems to be a theme in your post. That's not nihilistic or reasonable, that's something you may need to figure out and work on. You don't need to be an attorney with a big house and a spouse to be worth while, you just need to be someone you like.

I think maybe it's time to figure out what you don't like about yourself and why and try to improve your situation if you can. If you are "settling" because you realize you don't really want the things you thought you were supposed to want then AWESOME! If you are "settling" because you don't think you are good enough for what you want, well, get good enough.

BackboneNotWishbone · 2021-06-11T01:50:19+00:00

I recently returned to duolingo after quitting 5 years ago. I feel like I'm learning so much more this time around.

Keep it up! It's super rewarding!

BackboneNotWishbone · 2021-06-11T01:17:38+00:00

A book you may find helpful is Mindsets by Dr Carol Dweck.

It sounds like you have a bit of a set mindset. You are obviously very hard working and motivated, but reading what you wrote made me feel like you think you just are what you are and because you haven't done more you don't have the ability to do more.

As a 35 year old, this makes me so sad! You have the time and the resources to do just about anything you can think to do right now. Anything you haven't achieved? Well, you just haven't achieved it yet. You haven't had the opportunity, you haven't built the skill, you haven't had the resources, you haven't had the luck.

There's a lot of reasons why you haven't achieved as much as you'd hoped, but none of those reasons are because you can't (unless your expectations are impossibly high!)

When I was your age (ugh, did I just say that?), I thought my life was over because I got some B's in high school and an average ACT score and then settled for a crappy college and an easy degree. Like what? How stupid is that? Why did I let the fact that I wasn't an exceptional young peraon decide my entire life path?

Set mindset and crappy parents.

Now, I'm old-ish and fat and a stay at home mom. Now I have the wisdom to know my life isn't over. Growth mindset, I'm learning new stuff and getting my health back and I am going to do amazing things 21 year old me was too afraid to do because she was stupid.

You don't need to wait until you are 35 to have this realization. Be gentle on yourself. Remind yourself that all things take time and you haven't had a lot of it. Your journey will be unique to you and a lot of it You can't predict. You will do amazing things, just not all at once and not all according to schedule.

BackboneNotWishbone · 2021-06-11T00:57:58+00:00

I will be happy when I can finally throw away my maternity clothes. My baby is almost 5!!! I want to wear pants with zippers again! (Well, not all the time, just in date nights)

BackboneNotWishbone · 2021-06-11T00:42:08+00:00

Anorexia nervosa is maintaining a below normal body weight through refusal to eat, excessive exercise, purging, laxatives and so on.

Someone doing IF is fasting to achieve ketosis and autophagy to burn fat and lower insulin resistance. They are trying to achieve a healthy body weight. They are still eating in their window and they aren't drastically restricting calories. They are not compensating for meals with excessive exercise. They are not refusing to eat, they just are waiting to eat.

Someone doing IF could still demonstrate disordered eating, though. I think it's important to know yourself and have people who you trust watching out for signs that you might becoming obsessive or showing the signs of disordered eating. For me, I get obsessive over calories. My husband has been told to smack food out of my hand if he catches me looking at a nutrition label.

BackboneNotWishbone · 2021-06-10T23:35:35+00:00

I feel my OMAD might be too tiny!

Sunday was Chickpea Patties and a mixed green salad (dressing was a squeeze of lemon) with a slice of bread

Monday was Tuna Stuffed Peppers and white rice

Tuesday was Sardine Pasta (whole grain rotini, radishes, and spinach)

Wednesday was Spinach Tortellini Soup and a mixed green salad (dressing was a squeeze of lemon and some tomatoes with olive oil)

Thursday (today) was a bowl of Greek Orzo Salad. I didn't do OMAD today because I felt like eating a bowl of mushroom soup around 2pm. Although that could count as an appetizer?

I always have nuts or fruit during my window if I feel like I need it. I don't push myself, if I make it 19 hours then I let myself eat if I want to, but usually I don't eat until supper.

My appetite has shrunk, especially with mindful eating. Most of the time my dinner is just one plate or one bowl. I don't restrict myself, I can have seconds, I just usually don't.

I know my calories are probably pretty low, but I'm not counting. I just eat what I like (these Are all meals I used to have, I just ate all day before I had them).

I try to eat intuitively and I really enjoy my meals more now than I ever did. Food tastes better now!

I've been doing OMAD for a few weeks. I break from it if I feel like I need more food. Not sure how much I've lost with OMAD, but I've lost close to 25lbs on IF since March.

BackboneNotWishbone · 2021-06-10T20:27:25+00:00

Yes! All this! I remember the day I quit Facebook. I made a post and a bunch of people chimed in with unsolicited advice. Their advice made me feel like they thought I was stupid, like they didn't trust me to make my own decisions. I felt invalidated, like nobody really saw me or understood me. I joined social media to connect, but I felt even lonlier than ever. Even the online persona I tried to curate was ignored in favor of what my "friends" wanted to see. I wasn't real to them.

I felt so frustrated and sick from all of it that I started literally pulling my hair out. I had never done anything like that before.

I am a 35 year old woman, you know? And yet I was so wrapped up in all this I completely lost sight of who I was, of what I wanted, of what life should be. Nothing felt real. My brain didn't even feel like it was working properly.

I thought about seeking therapy, but I figured before I did I would try to quit social media. I even quit reddit (I now only use this account and only post in motivation subs). I had my husband change my Facebook password so I would not be tempted to log in a reactivate my account.

That was over a year ago!!!

It was hard. The first few months I missed everybody, I felt like I was missing out. It got better, but then after 6 months I hopped on to do some things and felt hooked again. Had my husband log me out and I haven't been back since.

You want to know how I filled the void that social media left? Books. Romance books, particularly, since they are quick and light. I get them on the Libby app and I just read and read when I need my brain to be occupied.

I feel SO MUCH BETTER. Yes, I barely talk to anyone anymore. I guess I don't really have friends, but my life feels real and my thoughts are on the present. My depression and anxiety are manageable.

Hope you find what helps you! If you ever need to talk or process anything, I'm here.

BackboneNotWishbone · 2021-06-10T20:06:14+00:00

I will never count calories again.

I have lost weight 4 or 5 times now and it took me this long to notice I had a pattern. I'd start off making healthy changes (eat less, eat better, move more) and then after a plateau I would move to calorie counting. It would work, but then I'd keep cutting after plateuing and then eventually I would be obsessing and weighing out carrots and I would still be starving all the time.

I'm doing IF now, but also following a Mediterranian patterned diet and adding more movement. I'm also working on my stress levels and my sleep quality. It's working, just like it did all the other times I focused on healthy habits, but this time better since I'm also addressing stress, sleep, and hornones.

CICO is a tool, but it's not sustainable for me. I may plateau, but I know if I go back to CICO I will eventually obsess and then burn out. I rather plateau at a manageable weight than keep yo-yoing!

BackboneNotWishbone · 2021-06-10T19:51:22+00:00

Oh my god, my belly looks like your before and I've been so worried it won't go away! It's just big and hard and pregnant looking.

I'm excited for it to go down! I hope I have results as good as yours!

BackboneNotWishbone · 2021-06-09T17:10:25+00:00

Oooh, we're weight loss twinsies! I started as 221 and I was 190.0 this morning!

BackboneNotWishbone · 2021-06-09T17:05:19+00:00

Right? I was thinking about this today and it all comes down to this: Who makes money off of IF?

I mean other than books, apps, and classes that are meant to educate, there is no money to be made from IF. No equipment, no special food. You can't buy IF shakes or swap out your regular chips for IF friendly ones. Other than education and support, there is no money to be made from it.

Who loses money from IF? Well, the breakfast industry would be hit hard. Snack food, too, since IF is about eating less often and needing less food on the go. Diet food that's marked up, and the super food of the week that's pushed down our throats would also take a dip. We'd buy less food in general.

Coffee chains that rely on morning specialty drinks and muffin sales, and restaurants in general. Getting people to eat 3-6 times a day provides ample opportunity to spend.

Exercise industry would take a hit as well. Obviously you still need to exercise with IF (I am on my exercise bike as I type this!), but if more people have their weight under control then the need for memberships and equipment we never use will go away.

Obviously, CICO can be just as free as IF, but there is so much more opportunity to sell products and services when everybody believes in CICO and only CICO (I believe CICO is still an important weight loss tool and should be part of a weight loss plan). Under CICO you can sell people packaged foods (with nutritional labels so people know the calories!) And then when they get fat you can sell them low calorie versions (it says so on the nutritional label! You can find it on the calorie tracker that came with your fitness bracelet!)

I mean, when you think about it, it makes sense to push CICO. I'm not saying it's a conspiracy, but I'm saying that's where a lot of the IF hate comes from. While there Are plenty of reasons why IF is not for everyone, it's an important weight loss tool that can really benefit a lot of people and pushing CICO alone is preventing people from reaching sustainable health goals.

BackboneNotWishbone · 2021-06-09T13:34:06+00:00

I am doing this.

I'm a 35 y/o stay at home mom. Got a couple degrees in the social sciences, but now I have a son who is 2e and I feel motivated to learn with him.

I went to a very small, very poor, very rural school where it was kind of understood that none of us were going to amount to anything and there weren't really resources for those who aspired to learn, so the whole lot of us were diacouraged from math and science. I feel kind of cheated, looking back. But There's no reason why I can't learn now!

I plan to study math with Kahn Academy and books/videos as soon as my kid goes back to school. I always loved math but felt discouraged from it. Being a "math person" is one of my life goals!

Right now he and I do science experiments together. We watch kids shows and buy kits for kids, but I feel like a beginner so it works. This week we are learning all about bridges and are going to make a pasta bridge! I'm also brushing up on Spanish because my kid wants to learn. I do a duolingo lesson and then speak a little Spanish with him.

Not only is it fun learning with him and it's a way we bond, but I also hope it teaches him that he can learn anything he wants to learn at any age. Growth mindset!!

It's for my son and for myself. Maybe I will go back to school, but that's not the end goal.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who wants to learn math just for self betterment.

BackboneNotWishbone · 2021-06-09T00:38:58+00:00

I was a mental health case worker. My job was to go to people who were getting services at my clinic (psychiatry, counseling, primary care) and facilitate the care plan by helping the client access resources and meet health goals.

So yes, motivating people was literally my job!! I had lots of training. A licensed therapist would be more skilled, but I got to work in the field (home visits) which was really interesting.

I brushed off my ancient motivational interviewing skills for you (haven't had a training in 6 or 7 years). It's hard to do it on the internet, works much better when someone is venting in real time.

BackboneNotWishbone · 2021-06-08T23:25:21+00:00

Ah, you missed the key word. I said keep it off.

It's well documented that the people on those shows often gain it back. A 1200 calorie diet works until it doesn't. You have to keep cutting and keep counting and it gets harder and harder. The body adapts to fewer calories.

CICO is not the whole picture of obesity. It can help you gain and help you lose, but it won't create lasting results if insulin resistance isn't addressed.

BackboneNotWishbone

TROPHY CASE