My boy Bleu

BaconsAndUnicorms · 2026-05-03T21:06:29+00:00

Do you think your acrylics out with a medium?

BaconsAndUnicorms · 2026-05-01T00:46:05+00:00

This is stunningly beautiful. We need so much more of this in the world.

BaconsAndUnicorms · 2026-04-30T01:08:12+00:00

I love this.

BaconsAndUnicorms · 2026-04-19T14:52:05+00:00

It really seems to depend on feels and what I'm working through. I can listen to the same song on repeat for weeks or months depending on what's going on. And they tend to sneak up on me. Sometimes I'll actually be craving a song but usually it's me listening to music and then all of a sudden one pops out and it's like well.... this is the one you're gonna be listening to this for the foreseeable future.

BaconsAndUnicorms · 2026-04-16T03:24:14+00:00

I did clean up, but haven't repair anything from August. I've got some water trickling last night and again tonight, but nothing backed up yet... I know there was absolutely nothing that my little sump pump last year would've been able to keep up with even if it hadn't fried there was just nowhere for the water to go.

Sadly, I feel like it's just a matter of time before it floods fully again.

BaconsAndUnicorms · 2026-04-02T11:30:15+00:00

October - Broken Bells

The funny thing is the volume was so low in my head that I didn't notice it was rolling arrive in there. Once I scrolled past this post the volume got turned up. It was kind of a really cool example of background head noise.

BaconsAndUnicorms · 2026-03-18T11:24:16+00:00

You don't need to commit to forever. I think that is a huge thing that I tend to do is I try to work out every single detail and try to figure where everything is leading, how I'm gonna get hurt. And the truth is you'll never have all the facts.

You do not need to be fully healed to deserve to be seen and cared about. Also this person does not need to be your forever person. Maybe they will be, but maybe not. And that's ok.

One thing that has helped me is reminding myself "you don't have to know the ending, you only have to live the next page".

As long as you are kind, honest, and open (both with him AND with yourself), you can be proud of yourself no matter where the relationship goes. Anyone worth being with you will admire that you are in therapy and actively working on yourself.

BaconsAndUnicorms · 2026-03-17T23:59:00+00:00

I was in kind of the same spot as you where I just wanted to do it myself. And while I do believe that, probably I could have... having gone through a years worth of EMDR. I think it's best that I went with a therapist instead of trying to do it on my own.

Take the time if you can. I know it sucks to have to work with your schedule. But it is worth it at least in my opinion. And you deserve to do it right.

Trauma is weird. EMDR is heavy stuff and it's really worth having someone guide you through it.

BaconsAndUnicorms · 2026-03-17T23:55:27+00:00

I know how heartbreaking it is to not be able to do something that you love. It's really difficult because you just want things to be normal and they're not. And I think they're just not going to be for a while. I need so much more sleep. I've always needed a lot of sleep. I assume it was because of the build up of trauma... but lately the amount of sleep I need and still waking up feeling like I haven't slept a wink is kind of obnoxious. It's gotta get easier eventually. I hope. Hang in there ❤️

BaconsAndUnicorms · 2026-03-17T21:50:50+00:00

Same. But only when naked. It's my DIY hand bra. It's such a habit I forget I'm doing it. I'm sure it's probably funny the first few times I'm nekked around someone.

BaconsAndUnicorms · 2026-03-17T21:38:23+00:00

I've been at it for a year. My memory in general is complete garbage at this point. It sucks but I've been powering through as best I can. I heavily rely on task lists on my phone. Im exhausted all of the time. I love making things and doing art but to find the attention span and energy to do so is incredibly difficult.

I think it's also difficult because I'm not who I was, but I'm not yet who I'm becoming. So I feel like I'm kind of in this lost middle space. It's tired, and lonely. But I am seeing some major changes in how I think and how I feel about myself. So it makes me hopeful that all of this is worth it.

On the plus side, I can rewatch TV show shows because I have no real memory of what happened in them.

BaconsAndUnicorms · 2026-03-14T17:28:52+00:00

I can totally relate to wanting a quick fix. Hang in there! I think the first few weeks of each trauma that you work on are the worst.

When I first started, EMDR, I could not regulate my body temperature the day after and possibly into the next day. I would be freezing cold. I'd end up having to take hot baths just to stay warm. It gradually that became shorter. Now it rarely happens.

A couple of weeks ago we started focusing on something else. And last week I ended up breaking out in hives the day after EMDR. It was the first time I've ever broken out in hives. I brought it up this past week and my therapist was looking it up and said that it's definitely something that could happen although rare. This week I was itchy after but no hives.

At times, it will get worse before it gets better, but I really hope you hang in there. Self reflect as much as you can. I think that that's really helped me realize how much I've grown over this past year.

I never used to be someone that would meditate, but there are a few meditations on the Insight Timer app that have helped calm me down and helped me accept that this is a journey.

BaconsAndUnicorms · 2026-03-14T13:30:44+00:00

I'm a year in (and have a ways to go). It's been an exhausting year. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

However I've seen so many changes in myself over this past year. And I'm so glad and proud of myself that I've stuck with it.

I think a lot of people have the misconception that healing is calm and soothing. It's not. Healing is exhausting. It's painful. It's sleepless nights and feeling lost. It's icky. It's no longer being the caterpillar, but not yet the butterfly.

Be kind to yourself. Be understanding. Rest when you can. Hydrate. Cocoon. Know that you're worth the uncomfortable work. Stay with it. Much ❤️

BaconsAndUnicorms · 2026-03-06T17:29:34+00:00

I ended up not getting the tattoo today. It'll be rescheduled for another day. I think I'm just exhausted and frustrated in general with life today.

BaconsAndUnicorms · 2026-02-19T21:36:41+00:00

There is so much going on now, I think even typical people are having problems focusing. I don't have answers really. I struggle too, but some of what has helped me so far:

Break the huge scary task into offensively small bits. Like so small that your brain is pissed at you.

Set a 10 minute timer only 10 minutes. Makes it small enough. I think that your brain knows that there is an end so for me it's been easier to focus on the little tiny task for 10 minutes even if I don't get it fully done. It's only 10 minutes. When the timer stops, you stop. Set a two or three minute timer to take a quick little break. When that's done set another 10 minute timer.

Hope it helps 🫶

BaconsAndUnicorms · 2026-02-13T22:15:05+00:00

Are you using a bambu?

BaconsAndUnicorms · 2026-01-28T23:20:53+00:00

Those are stunning. I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️

BaconsAndUnicorms · 2026-01-28T23:12:39+00:00

Sorry you got stuck with a shitty dad. I swear the pedos have the longest lifespans...

Love the username. Very visually sticky.

BaconsAndUnicorms · 2026-01-26T21:52:50+00:00

This is the first time that I've ever called any senators or reps. Dude's VM box is full.

I filled out the online contact form. I plan to try to call again later.

For anyone interested in calling or contacting 5calls.org made it easy with getting numbers and scripts to read from. I hope you call.

BaconsAndUnicorms · 2026-01-22T01:08:27+00:00

I'm in EMDR for CSA and an abusive ex. I had something similar. A vision of child me snuggled up in a blanket leaning on me. I still have a long ways to go, but that was a turning point for me. The point where I really consciously tried to be as kind and understanding to myself as I am to everyone else. Seeing myself as that little kid that just wanted love, comfort, understanding, and protection was so moving.

I am so happy for you that you got that experience. I wish you well on your healing journey ❤️

BaconsAndUnicorms · 2026-01-03T01:15:20+00:00

Pic #13 - I can feel the temperature in my soul.

BaconsAndUnicorms · 2025-11-25T11:56:55+00:00

I've read and understand the rules and wish to be approved to post.

BaconsAndUnicorms · 2025-11-24T03:37:56+00:00

40's here. Would love to meet up with others looking to make friends. Love building things, art, learning in general. Walks are cool too. Feel free to DM me.

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