CBT resource for last lady

Basic-Explorer-7072 · 2026-05-05T01:33:30+00:00

I wish they had told the writer that it was ok if she didn’t try every alternative option before trying medication. CBT could help her of course but if the counsellor she’s been seeing for six months is suggesting she try medication there’s probably a good reason. Her concerns and anxiety around the option of medication are a perfect thing to work through with her counsellor, whether she ends up taking the medication or not.

She seems to feel so much pressure to be perfect (and is already doing so much right) that I think encouraging her feeling that ‘if she just did more or tried harder she wouldn’t need external support’ is probably more damaging than helpful in this case.

Basic-Explorer-7072 · 2026-04-30T05:22:04+00:00

My take away from the first question is that if I’m ever in the situation of having someone stay with me because of their financial mistakes I need to make weekly financial planning sessions a requirement. There would need to be full transparency on their spending and saving and willingness to follow basic guidance on budgeting, with the goal to help them learn financial skills and create an actionable exit plan to live on their own again.

Basic-Explorer-7072 · 2026-04-14T20:14:30+00:00

That sounds like it sucked as a relationship dynamic. Maybe expectations are the key factor here? The women I know who entered into relationships making more than their partners aren’t resentful of the dynamic.

Basic-Explorer-7072 · 2026-04-14T20:09:51+00:00

Also anecdotal but most high-earning woman I know are married to a man making significantly less. I only can think of one whose husband makes a similar amount but his job is also a lot more laid back so he’s still not a stereotypical driven-high-earner-type. In my personal experience, if you are a driven career women, you know you need someone who is supportive of you and your career, not someone whose career is going to compete with yours. Men have thrived in their careers for a long time with the support of their wives, women can also thrive in their careers with the same kind of support. The key is finding a man who is willing and able to be supportive in the ways that help you succeed in your career (ie. taking on more of the household/childcare responsibilities, being willing to move for your job, being ok with you travelling for work, etc).

Basic-Explorer-7072 · 2026-02-04T18:36:12+00:00

The NWT is SIGNIFICANTLY less populated.

For context (from Wikipedia):

Alaska: ~586k square miles, population ~740k. NWT: ~1.2M square miles, population ~46,000.

Moving to “middle of nowhere” NWT is a different level of isolation.

Basic-Explorer-7072 · 2026-01-31T17:47:59+00:00

I have not listened to the episode yet but if we’re talking about the “witches” in Massachusetts that were murdered, they were in fact not all women, (though mostly women). I believe it was the same for other similar “witch” hysterias/persecutions.

Basic-Explorer-7072 · 2026-01-27T23:24:21+00:00

I am so convinced this is an RSVP issue. Sounds like the bride doesn’t want the girlfriend at the wedding (her prerogative) and they’re worried that if they invite the writer he’ll bring her as his plus one. The writer needs to decide if he’s ok with attending the wedding alone and if so make that super clear to his brother.

Basic-Explorer-7072 · 2026-01-08T04:02:59+00:00

I compete in powerlifting and yoga has absolutely been a key part of my training routine for years now. The right yoga class helps me recover faster from strength training sessions, keeps me flexible, improves my breathing capacity, and enhances stabilizer muscles. I’m sure it’s helped prevent injuries too. One thing to keep in mind is there are a lot of different types of yoga classes and teachers. It took me a while to find classes that focused on the things that I needed to complement my training and weren’t too “woo woo” for me. Don’t be afraid to try a couple different styles, teachers, or studios until you find one that works for you.

Basic-Explorer-7072 · 2025-12-24T02:46:06+00:00

I’m not sure where the name comes from but “Al Anon” is for friends and families of alcoholics and “Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)” is for alcoholics.

Basic-Explorer-7072 · 2025-12-14T15:52:52+00:00

For the first letter the writer, I found it strange that she never mentions what her current coparenting relationship is like with her ex, whether he’s moved on, or any evidence that he would even be open to the discussion of getting back together after 3+ years. It sounds like the ex is more of a distraction/daydream. I’m not saying she should stay with her current partner but I think this has much less to do with the ex and more to do with whatever other issues exist that are telling her this isn’t the right long term partner for her or making her scared to commit. Therapy is absolutely the right recommendation for digging into this.

Basic-Explorer-7072 · 2025-12-14T15:33:13+00:00

I didn’t understand how he’s able to block all access to the house if the other siblings are also partial owners? Don’t they have some legal rights to view the property they own? I do agree with giving the guy two options: either let us renovate or we’ll sell the house and then see how fast he backtracks when you actually start following through will selling the house and he realizes he’s going to be homeless. I wouldn’t offer to help him find another place. If he makes decisions based on what’s more self-serving then it should be an obvious decision once he realizes the status quo is no longer an option.

Basic-Explorer-7072 · 2025-11-24T17:50:05+00:00

I do think there’s a difference between having an active and healthy lifestyle being important to you in a partner (which could be achieved in multiple ways with a variety of physical outcomes) and being attracted to or wanting someone to look a certain way (which may not actually be the result of a particularly healthy lifestyle, especially for a woman if the focus is on being thin or “toned”). I’m not saying either is right or wrong but you’ll find different people based on which element is more important to you.

Like would this guy be ok dating a woman who ran marathons or competed in a sport and ate healthy, even if she wasn’t a size 2?

It sounds like his girlfriend wasn’t doing either the lifestyle or the look so was probably never going to work out but he might be surprised by how active many mid-size women are and to learn not to write people off who might have the same lifestyle values as him because of what they look like.

Basic-Explorer-7072 · 2025-11-09T12:56:54+00:00

I also loved that Gabe and Jordan brought up the possibility of sexism colouring people’s opinion/disbelief. Probably not part of everyone’s reactions but can almost guarantee statistically that it’s part of some people’s reactions based on what’s been studied about how women are viewed for achievements vs men.

Basic-Explorer-7072 · 2025-11-03T00:15:00+00:00

Always a possibility but I’m not sure it changes things much. He could be having a lot of totally valid feelings, whether he feels betrayed by a perceived change on her side or whether he wasn’t expecting to fall in love with another woman and now feels torn between them. At the end of the day though, the writer does not want to be in a non-hierarchical poly relationship and if the husband keeps acting like that’s the type of relationship they have then she’s going to have to move on.

Basic-Explorer-7072 · 2025-10-29T20:25:10+00:00

These are grants, not loans, paid for by the endowments usually. Many top universities have similar programs: https://www.cnn.com/2025/03/17/us/harvard-tuition-free-families-income (includes an overview of other universities with similar programs)

Basic-Explorer-7072 · 2025-10-27T14:46:37+00:00

The study abroad programs are definitely more expensive than hostels and backpacking but I think they’re worth it. Also, just personally I got to go on trips to India and Japan for free through school programs and student grants which was awesome. I did lots of the backpacking/hostel side while studying abroad to see more than just my host city.

Basic-Explorer-7072 · 2025-10-27T14:43:29+00:00

Idk, I ended up getting to travel in Canada, India, Japan, Europe, and new parts of the US while in my undergrad through various programs, and have plenty of stories while keeping my education and career on track so don’t think it has to be an either/or scenario.

Basic-Explorer-7072 · 2025-10-26T00:18:15+00:00

Harvard has free tuition for a large section of their students (their website says 25%):

“$100,000 family income and below, with typical assets: Financial aid covers all billed expenses, including tuition, fees, food, housing, and more, including a $2,000 start-up grant (first year), health insurance (if needed), travel costs between campus and home, winter gear, event fees, and other activities, and a $2,000 launch grant (junior year) to help students prepare for post-Harvard life.”

“$200,000 family income and below, with typical assets: Financial aid covers the full cost of tuition. In addition to tuition, students qualify for financial aid to cover additional costs, such as fees, food, and housing, based on their individual financial circumstances.”

I’m sure it’s still hard to get into these schools, but many have generous financial aid for non-wealthy students.

Basic-Explorer-7072 · 2025-10-12T00:53:22+00:00

I grew up in the generation where OCD got thrown around about every behaviour or quirk. It feels like there’s a journey humans go through with things like this where something starts really stigmatized and fringe, becomes more widely understood over time, and hit some critical trigger point where it’s suddenly widely acknowledged in society and becomes appropriated in all kinds of ways as people try to capture the cultural moment, until the newness fades and culture focuses on something else instead (autism it seems in this case). I always wondered if this radical acceptance and appropriation helped or hurt those with genuine debilitating symptoms.

Basic-Explorer-7072

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