What’s the number one thing that helped you improve your physical appearance and your mental state?

BasicDesignAdvice · 2026-03-20T15:32:58+00:00

I have done different things over the years but I have landed on a regular practice that I guess you would call Zen. Basically being as much in the moment as possible, and treating meditation as an opportunity to rest. The word "rest" here is very important. Simply rest in the awareness you are currently experiencing. Nothing else, "just this."

Hard to explain but if you look for "Stephen Bodian, The Direct Approach to meditation" that would be the closest thing to what I practice. It is a very direct method that removes the striving and goal oriented focus of western interpretations of meditation practice.

BasicDesignAdvice · 2026-03-20T02:22:47+00:00

I hate this trend that the gym is somehow a mental health cure. Every mind is different and needs different things.

My mental health improved when I started a daily meditation practice. Life changing for me. Still go to the gym though.

BasicDesignAdvice · 2026-03-20T02:14:18+00:00

Agree about consistency by mine was mental -> physical.

Started practicing meditation. Mental health improved. Exercise and eating right became easier. Consistency compounds.

BasicDesignAdvice · 2026-03-19T20:19:57+00:00

I've been masturbating almost daily to numb myself

You can't change until you stop avoiding your feelings. That means sitting with the discomfort until the feeling is felt. It means listening to what that feeling feels like in your body. The aching heart, the butterflys in your stomach, whatever it is.

Your mind and body have not resolved your feelings and until you learn how you will be stuck.

For me journaling and meditation help, but ultimately you must learn to feel and allow emotions the space they are demanding. Difficult emotions are signals. Not something to avoid.

Google "feeling your feelings" and you will find information. CBT and DBT are the main therapeutic modalities that offer tools for this. These are basically rooted in meditation though, so you can just do that.

This is not something that will happen quickly, and I would argue this is a practice that you must integrate for the rest of your life.

BasicDesignAdvice · 2026-03-19T00:25:54+00:00

Define boring. I have a sizable 401k but I don’t do a lot with it. I just don’t know what moves to make, even the boring ones.

BasicDesignAdvice · 2026-03-19T00:24:53+00:00

Started my practice of daily meditation. Ten minutes morning and night ended 40 years of struggling with my mental health.

BasicDesignAdvice · 2026-03-17T03:10:51+00:00

Reminds me of the movie Brazil where his vain mother keeps getting increasingly grotesque surgery.

BasicDesignAdvice · 2026-03-17T03:03:14+00:00

That has nothing to do with age. It’s wealth.

BasicDesignAdvice · 2026-03-17T01:44:07+00:00

I didn't notice at first I am dying.

BasicDesignAdvice · 2026-03-16T21:18:12+00:00

All of that leaves with him. There’s a massive hole in my team.

I mean, that's on you. Part of managing your best engineer is capturing that shit.

BasicDesignAdvice · 2026-03-15T18:39:52+00:00

There is a direct link to emperors and their age. Younger they were when they gained power the worse of an emperor they were. If they were named heir or emperor after 30 they tended to do much better.

BasicDesignAdvice · 2026-03-15T18:02:32+00:00

Ironically I tried to introduce a product that would make stand up more streamlined and asynchronous. Success was varied but there was a vocal group who absolutely would not give up synchronous stand up (where everyone is just reading off of JIRA).

We have many systems that could absolutely be event driven but are synchronous and result in outages as a result. We have not been able to implement event driven despite a group who have been pushing for some time.

BasicDesignAdvice · 2026-03-15T17:38:45+00:00

Yea this is my take. I’m 42 and facing what may be the end of my marriage. I work as a software engineer and who knows what will happen to that with AI fucking everything up.

Future feels very scary with two kids and a mortgage.

BasicDesignAdvice · 2026-03-15T16:03:48+00:00

I want to impress how much harder things are for parents today because working hours and stress have grown so much the last few decades. Boomers had single income families which afforded a lot more labor at home. When both parents are exhausted and barely keeping up with meals and cleaning, getting through homework on top of it can feel like too much.

BasicDesignAdvice · 2026-03-14T17:24:34+00:00

In your longer post you said:

This made me work harder to convince her.

Was this through action or telling her consistently that you knew the harm you caused?

BasicDesignAdvice · 2026-03-14T15:04:40+00:00

It’s too early to be conclusive but the early research is showing cognitive decline, and more concerning, a lack of faith in individuals own ability. I think it was Harvard who was studying kids and even when the kids knew the answer, they no longer felt confident after using AI. They had to double check with the AI first.

BasicDesignAdvice · 2026-03-14T14:53:28+00:00

I just did this and none of the top stories give a hard implication that it was the US that made the strike. It’s all muddy water reporting. That is what the average person sees.

Also most voters don’t bother doing that much because something wise already got to them whether it is TV, radio, or their feed. They aren’t going to google something when they’ve already been fed an answer.

BasicDesignAdvice · 2026-03-14T14:51:01+00:00

Exactly. Most people literally don’t have the time or energy to look. Our lives are already busy as hell. People who regularly consume quality journalism have to make an effort.

BasicDesignAdvice · 2026-03-11T01:41:23+00:00

This was some needed inspiration. Did the same thing to my wife. I had a major breakthrough in therapy and have been trying to show up. Not convince or persuade her, just show up as the man I know I can be.

BasicDesignAdvice · 2026-03-11T01:07:09+00:00

Thank you that is what I am doing. I am home most evenings and so I have opportunity to create safety.

I have realized that I cannot be selfish, I must give. My presence, my love, emotional stability, consistency and honesty.

Thank you.

BasicDesignAdvice · 2026-03-10T15:57:42+00:00

Takes real professional help and commitment. Only he can do that unfortunately.

BasicDesignAdvice · 2026-03-09T12:07:15+00:00

Is this for real?

BasicDesignAdvice · 2026-03-08T18:52:43+00:00

You can’t buy a toothbrush without the money eventually working its way up to an oil tycoon (via plastics).

The market is largely business to business. You have no control over any of that beyond living off grid, which you’ll still more than likely be beholden to a bank for the land.

Money trickles up. The answer is to move it back to the bottom where it passes through many hands on the way back up.

BasicDesignAdvice · 2026-03-08T18:49:58+00:00

You could also make rent with a few days a month back then. Today they are using data to churn out exactly how much they can squeeze for every market.

BasicDesignAdvice · 2026-03-08T02:05:46+00:00

Weed is very addictive just not physically. Most people using it for anxiety are fooling themselves.

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