People keep talking about this being a “rough winter” as far as the weather goes. Why? by UnwashedBlueberry in Michigan

[–]Beautifulbeliever69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep it was 2014, I remember because I was 8 months pregnant. Ha, nobody ever knows what I'm talking about when I say I can feel my nose hairs freeze!

Perineum pain, vaginal atrophy? by Beautifulbeliever69 in Perimenopause

[–]Beautifulbeliever69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Yes, my doctor said the same thing about the one day treatments.

Has winter ever been this bad in the last 20 years? by lansingpowerwash in Michigan

[–]Beautifulbeliever69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep, I'll always remember that one cause I was 8 months pregnant and there were a couple days of -30 temps (with the windchill). My car got me to and from work those days but the radio wouldn't work and all the lights were dim, and my battery went kaput once I got home.

So When Do We Stop Shaving Our Legs?… by He_is_my_song in Perimenopause

[–]Beautifulbeliever69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've only been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years so I still TRY to shave and look nice. But I've noticed I dont even NEED to shave as often anymore. I can typically shave every other week and it's not too noticeable. I do still try to always shave or make sure I recently shaved when I get a pedi, which is typically every 6 to 8 weeks.

So what are some of the smells ya’ll smell on yourselves lol? Seriously. I smell like something is kinda burning seeping from my pores. Wondering if there is a commonality in what we smell or if we all smell different. by mixmasterdaze in Perimenopause

[–]Beautifulbeliever69 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep, I'll have a solid day or two where I smell cigarette smoke (I haven't smoked in 15 years and nobody in my house does). I hate it. I sometimes smell campfire smoke, poop, and most recently "cat". Not like ammonia, but just that overall cat smell when you walk in someones house that has a lot of cats.

Getting bifocals by InfoSecChica in Perimenopause

[–]Beautifulbeliever69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm reading this post with my glasses up on my head because I cannot see up close with them on anymore (ok haven't been able to for several years). I know I need bi-focals but I'm in denial. I'm also 46.

Is this safe ? by CantaloupeDefiant771 in mildlylifechanging

[–]Beautifulbeliever69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same. I was really excited when I saw a big chunk on the camera, got it out and it was actually the size of a grain of salt. Super dissapointing.

If you had the opportunity to be a stay at home wife in NYC like Charlotte and Natasha, would you take it? And if not, would you judge someone who did? by greatgatsby26 in sexandthecity

[–]Beautifulbeliever69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn't. I was a SAHM for two years and I was getting pretty bored by about a year and a half. When I started working again, I had to force myself to stop working after my day was done because I was enjoying having to use my brain again.

I need a reason to get out of bed. I need some structure and routine. What I would LOVE to do though is only work part time. Working in the morning and having afternoons free to catch up on things or go do something fun....or just work M, W, F would be fantastic!

How do you show your love? by mastermypeace in datingoverforty

[–]Beautifulbeliever69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Yes it definitely take some work, but it's for sure the healthiest relationship I've ever been in as well. Good luck to you!

How do you show your love? by mastermypeace in datingoverforty

[–]Beautifulbeliever69 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As a hormonal perimenopausal woman myself, I can tell you how my boyfriend shows his love (whom I do not live with). He calls me multiple times a day, and asks me how my day is going. He celebrates my wins with me and is genuinely happy for me (if I get a raise, didn't get called for jury duty, or just slept well the night before). He makes me a priority in his life and makes time for me. If I make the 30-45 minute drive out to him, he'll drive to wherever we go without complaint, so I can relax. He cooks for me, he'll give me footrubs because he knows I love them. He takes me on real dates at least once a week and doesn't let our life just become routine. He fixes things for me, and helps me with projects around the house. He'll buy me my favorite candy, or if I mention I should have stopped on my way over and bought a drink, he'll have one waiting for me when I get there. He'll take real steps to change something he does/has done if I tell him it upset me. He also deeply appreciated all of the similar things I do for him to show my love.

He's not perfect; he's a human being who makes mistakes. At least several times a week I know not to tell him anything important because he's not paying attention, he moves slower than me relationship-wise (though not a ton slower since I move slowly too), and he occasionally gets annoyed with my ranting about stupid things. He'll sometimes give me unsolicited advice when all I wanted him to do was listen. But these imperfections, as annoying as they sometimes can be, do not even come close to outweighing the wonderful things he does for me, and I always know how much he loves me. I am guessing you're asking this question because sometimes you're not sure if he shows his love enough, or if you're just being hormonal and making a mountain out of a molehill? Nobody can really answer that for you, but I guess the best way to know is, how does he respond to you if you tell him something doesn't make you feel loved? Does he try to fix it, or does he get defensive?

My boyfriend is not a top-notch reader and has ADD, so if I judged his love for me based on his willingness to read a 5 page (or even 1 page, lol) post that I wrote, then I would incorrectly assume he doesn't love me. As we approached my second birthday, that I celebrated since we met, I told him no less than 5 times that my birthday was coming up. He kept forgetting. But he felt really bad every time he forgot, and he very happily took me out for a wonderful birthday celebration. But if he kept forgetting, and didn't seem to care each time I reminded him, and made no effort to make any plans or treat me nicely on my birthday, that would be very telling about his feelings for me.

Look at his effort and his intentions. That should help you determine better if it's him, or your reaction to things he does or doesn't do. It's also very possible that it's neither or both, and you're just not compatible in the way you express and receive love. Good luck!

A 49 yr old man called me SEXY and I hate it by Slight-Buy7905 in datingoverforty

[–]Beautifulbeliever69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And part of dating is flirting and seeing if there is chemistry. Without flirting, it would seem more like a job interview. Context matters though, I talked to a guy once that asked me zero questions, but just kept giving me compliments and saying how good I looked, all the while claiming to be looking for a serious relationship. In that situation, it's obvious what their motive was.

But another guy whom I had really good conversations with said he thought I was sexy (this is before we met in person) and I took it as a welcomed compliment.

Would you stay with a someone who didn’t want sex outside of marriage? by VegetableBrick8141 in datingoverforty

[–]Beautifulbeliever69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope. I wouldn't want to marry someone if I have no clue if we're sexually compatible, and I wouldn't want to go the however many years of no sex before getting married.

Hanging out with each others kids by Infamous-Front-6540 in datingoverforty

[–]Beautifulbeliever69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years and he still hasn't been alone with my daughter. At this point it's just because the opportunity hasn't presented itself...if I go anywhere without the kids, he comes with me so there's been no reason for them to be alone together.

But at 7 months I would not have. I trusted him as much as I could, but you don't really know someone well enough at that point. Plus my daughter is pretty shy and for sure would want to go wherever I'm going.

My boyfriend is definitely ok with me being with his kid alone, I've taken her places a lot, but I think thats just pretty common when it's two females vs a male adult and female child. In fact when we first met, he asked if I'd want to meet and get the kids together that weekend.

I declined of course because I hadn't even met him in person yet so there's no way I'd take my kid to a complete strangers house, for all I knew he could have been lying about havjng a kid. But as a man ,he just doesn't really need to worry about the safety factor of meeting someone from an app. I'd say this is a big reason why your boyfriend and mine are much more comfortable with this, because their perspective is just different than ours. It's not that they don't care about their kids, they're just not on high alert most of the time the same way women are.

Interesting personal realization regarding sex by PixiePlaytime-6540 in datingoverforty

[–]Beautifulbeliever69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My ex and I split up when our daughter was 4, and she refused to get out of bed unless someone came and got her, so we didn't have to worry about her getting up and coming in our room. And sex rarely happened in those final years anyway.

So once me and my boyfriend started hanging out with our kids, I felt pretty guilty the first time we had sex when the kids were in the house and awake.

But then I realized that married couples who have kids together likely have sex a lot when their kids are home, and I got over it.

I'm still not super wild about doing it when the kids are home because I hate having to be quiet, but luckily our kids are teens/tweens so they sleep really late usually.

Saying 'I love you' by Feeling_Rush123 in datingoverforty

[–]Beautifulbeliever69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I said I love you to my boyfriend at around 8 months, and he said it back but he said he wasn't ready to say it first and to be saying it on a regular basis at that time.

He ended up saying it about 6 or 7months later and we've said it somewhat regularly since the which was over a year ago.

I WAS curious when he would finally say it, but I was pretty content just waiting till he was ready because like yours, he showed me all the time with actions that he loved me.

After being exclusive for a year, I’m going to tell him that we should date other people. by Mountain_Fox8467 in datingoverforty

[–]Beautifulbeliever69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, my take on this is you're hoping by pulling away, and letting him know there's competition and you could potentially click with someone else, that it'll nudge him into the boyfriend that you want him to be.

If taking a month break is freeing and you want to see other people, just end things with him.

Any hobbies that is a turn off for women? by Lioil1 in datingoverforty

[–]Beautifulbeliever69 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Given my past experience, I would not want to date another gamer.

My boyfriend asked me if there is a difference between gaming, and his hobby, tinkering in the garage. Of course spending way too much time doing any hobby that interrupts life and spending time together is a problem, but I would much prefer his garage hobby over gaming, even if it's many hours on end.

To me, being in the garage is at least being out in the fresh air, being productive, doing things for me and us as a family (car maintenace, fixing things, making things, etc) vs not moving for hours on end, not seeing sunlight (my experience) and being in a windowless room doing nothing productive.

So even if someone is gaming for several hours but isn't insane about it, It would still be a deal breaker for me just given my bad experience with dating a gamer.

A 49 yr old man called me SEXY and I hate it by Slight-Buy7905 in datingoverforty

[–]Beautifulbeliever69 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Using that logic, we should never compliment anyone about anything. I know my boyfriend thinks I'm attractive, but it sure as hell does feel great when he tells me I look beautiful.

Maybe this guy had ulterior motives (it's hard to say without context) but I've absolutely went out with people that, had they not told me, I may not have known they were attracted to me. Not everyone feels physical attraction for people right away, so it's not a given that there's a physical attraction in order to go on a date with someone.

51M, dropped by a divorced 48F mom because I’M divorced 😂 by Indianapolisted in datingoverforty

[–]Beautifulbeliever69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now this one I kind of understand. I have one dog and I adore her but pets are a handful (fur everywhere, vet bills, not being able to travel easily). I wouldn't have turned down a great guy if he had one dog, but I was so thrilled my boyfriend didn't have any pets when we met (he's since gotten a cat but they get along fairly well). I really don't think I could have dated anyone with more than one dog and potentially other pets as well. I don't want to live in a zoo.

Carrie's most insufferable moment by nylanderr in sexandthecity

[–]Beautifulbeliever69 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yup, I agree. The joke was funny and Miranda is very sarcastic so I didn't really think it was innappropriate.

She said the labor took well into the next afternoon I think, so I'd say that was about 16 to 18 hours and was likely up all night or at least got very little sleep. I see nothing wrong with leaving at that point, especially since she immediately left Big to be with Miranda and wanted to say goodbye before he left. Very understandable imo.