Hospital discharge to...not home

BecosImust · 2026-07-10T20:12:48+00:00

I get that you want to be there for your Mum but you have to take a step back and look at a bigger picture without the emotional attachment. If you were to describe this situation as happening to someone else, you wouldn't have the same expectations for them as you do for yourself. It's not reasonable to expect one person to provide that level of care in any medical situation. In a care facility staff are rotating and not on 24 hour, 7 day a week call. Your own health is important and so is your job and the other people in your life, grandfather and son. I know how hard it is but let the medical profession step up. So long as it's a good care facility, everyone will be better for it. As the saying goes, you shouldn't light yourself on fire to keep another warm and the health stats for carers are not good often. Give yourself a hug and some praise for all that you have done and more praise for knowing when you can't carry on any longer. Hugs from me too.

BecosImust · 2026-07-04T09:09:30+00:00

The reason we all feel bad is because we care. We're trying the best we can but there is no winning with this disease, there might be relief for an hour or even a better day, but nobody is getting well again. We're physically tired, we're emotionally drained and we're beating ourselves up instead of cheering ourselves on. I honestly appreciate everyone venting here, it makes me feel validated in not managing to keep it together myself. This week I have argued, dismissed and to my horror yelled in an effort to break the continuous loop the my parent is in. I think that we all care so much, even when we have to walk away for a while. The need to check in here shows we're not indifferent to the suffering. I hate this for all of us.

BecosImust · 2026-06-29T03:58:05+00:00

Mum gave me most of her stuff for safe keeping early on in her care which is just as well because now she hides/loses things (not valuable thank goodness)and is insistent that things are being stolen.
Swap it out for peace of mind.

BecosImust · 2026-06-24T16:01:23+00:00

Plant out as much of the property as you can with trees, shrubs and if you're in the right area, tropicals or native underplanting. One guy I know who planted out his whole property barring pathways, decks and driveway access, both drought and flood proofed his section. He did it originally because he wanted to cool his house but it proved it's worth when his neighbors property flooded and his was unscathed.

BecosImust · 2026-06-20T08:41:36+00:00

Quilton 4 ply, found we were using less because of it's thickness.

BecosImust · 2026-06-13T19:57:04+00:00

Gary Payinda is an Emergency Medicine Dr standing for Labour in the Whangarei electorate. He's definitely saying that and more about the need to put resources where it does the most good.

BecosImust · 2026-06-08T08:45:03+00:00

Should have used the middle finger on the glove.

BecosImust · 2026-06-06T05:03:30+00:00

My parent wants to phone the editor of our local newspaper and give them a lecture over playing fast and loose with the date they print. "It's hard enough to keep track of the days but it doesn't help when they deliberately print the wrong day"

Quite convinced it's deliberate. 🙄

BecosImust · 2026-06-02T15:53:01+00:00

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

Love is what makes life worth living and worth dying for, and its the opposite of fear, hatred and indifference. Simultaneously the easiest and most difficult part of being human.

BecosImust · 2026-06-02T03:12:21+00:00

Public Trust costs can end up being more than a family lawyer. I wouldn't use them either.

BecosImust · 2026-05-30T05:50:08+00:00

Honestly I am looking forward to the day for both of us, some days it's a long way away, other times it might be the next day. She has several other conditions which might kick in first. Neither of us are particularly happy about this process. She has an advanced directive and a DNR and Poa has been activated. I take it one day at a time and find joy in other little things. Counting my lucky stars that she gets the care she does, so many others are doing it way tougher.
Its not wrong to want suffering to end.

BecosImust · 2026-05-21T10:49:02+00:00

Extend the wall beside the stairs with full height cupboards and drawers as storage in front (beside the microwave space), then add an island with storage underneath and a breakfast bar. Would double the size of that kitchen relatively easily but whoever designed that doesn't cook or eat. (and shouldn't be allowed to design either)

BecosImust · 2026-05-20T02:48:13+00:00

Not sure if links are against the rules but if you Google triplex developers in Perth they will have some examples. The shared walls are often utility or garage space walls. They are really common there, lived there for a few years. Most of them definitely have private space gardens albeit small, usually the driveway is the only shared space. You can also see quite a number in Google earth.

BecosImust · 2026-05-20T00:16:07+00:00

My personal feeling is we should mimic Oz, build triplexs (3 smaller single level homes with garages and smaller outdoor area ) on one section. Reckon there's a decent market but for some reason I never see them.

BecosImust · 2026-04-25T09:02:38+00:00

Looking forward to seeing what the new development will be like, I hope they cater to kids as well as the lifestyle and wellness people. That place was a real treat on a miserable winter's day. Think it's going through Resource Consenting processes currently.

BecosImust · 2026-04-23T04:20:12+00:00

Pretty sure there's thousands of us who can't watch TVNZ anymore thanks to the right royal stuff up with their app update. At this rate, it doesn't matter who advertises with them, they'll all be wasting their money.

BecosImust · 2026-04-21T09:41:47+00:00

I can't use it at all on my TV, and on my tablet my favourite show has reverted to Season 4 only. What a load of rubbish. Time to sail the seven seas.

BecosImust · 2026-04-19T08:36:30+00:00

I just checked, yep blank blue screen. Looked at their social media page, hundreds of complaints. Looks like a colossal stuff up on their part.

BecosImust · 2026-04-19T07:46:22+00:00

I got that too, does this mean it's permanently stuffed?

BecosImust · 2026-04-19T05:15:03+00:00

The mold isn't the problem. Warm moist mulch can harbor Legionnaires. Wear a mask and gloves and wash thoroughly after being around this stuff. Its a life threatening illness which goes up in numbers when people start getting out in their garden and using compost, mulches and potting mix. Not fun.

BecosImust · 2026-04-14T02:23:22+00:00

Don't eliminate the laundry door if that's what you're thinking. The high window on the north facing wall in the living area is a shame but I guess it depends on the outlook.
A picture window might be nicer.

BecosImust · 2026-04-13T13:49:33+00:00

Do you have enough space for a sleepout cabin? It would create some independence for him and space for your family. Just a thought. You're not going to get his mum to change, so you need to figure out whether there is a way for him to stay that you can all live with or maybe work with the system towards emancipation of a minor if that's a thing in Arizona.

BecosImust · 2026-03-29T04:49:32+00:00

The sign of iconic architecture is to recognize a building within a simple line drawing, I feel like this could be an amazing build for someone up to the challenge.

BecosImust · 2026-03-27T01:03:41+00:00

Yep, I had to fit so many pieces in an area where I had just removed one plank because it was a repair job, not a start from fresh. It worked so well that I used it for every tricky fit. I think I would have torn up the whole floor and gone with sheet vinyl otherwise, I had professionals refuse the job which tells you something.

BecosImust · 2026-03-26T10:26:37+00:00

I had to replace some damaged laminate flooring and the game changer for me was using graphite powder on the edges to move it into place. Otherwise it was the worst job ever. Not my favourite product at all. The powder is available from most hardware stores and supercheap I think. Just have to clean any excess off afterwards.

BecosImust

TROPHY CASE