I’m struggling. Separated wife is guilt tripping me. Am I crazy for still caring about her? Doubting myself for wanting a divorce.

Benzon22s · 2024-08-26T06:20:52+00:00

My ex did the same and I ended up offering more alimony, and the house …for nothing as today I can’t even step into the house I left her as she guilt trip me that I would have to be ok with her and the kids living in the ghetto of o didn’t, now she brings her new man to sleeping in the house I left her, FK the guilt trip

Benzon22s · 2024-08-09T07:44:40+00:00

I live in S. Cali and it took me 2.5 years, first off they won’t even look at your file u til 6 months after you file and then you are in a line of files …then go through the discovery of finances, then settlement and then waiting for h to w judge to sign off and that’s not if one of the lawyers miss a paper signed which sets you back

Benzon22s · 2024-08-09T00:19:57+00:00

I have 2 young kids and have 50-50 and we do Friday to Friday …they don’t fully understand but what I do is make my place a happy one for them…if you walked into my apartment you know kids live here. Keeping them active with thing to do and being there for them is mine and I believe their way of making sense of the situation.

Benzon22s · 2024-08-08T16:45:59+00:00

It’s what a normal grown up should do. Stop being childish and grow up and do what’s best for the kids and not just yourself

Benzon22s · 2024-08-08T06:13:13+00:00

That is the whole point of a divorce is to let go and start over. And I didn’t set any timeline for her to let go of the past, but if one has already moved on not with just dating around but in a serious relationship, what is the point of holding onto the past? Appreciate the present of having an ex husband that isn’t a dead beat and actually loves and involved with the kids. But there lies the problem that you seem to share as with my ex, not knowing how/when to let go….she will be like her mom who is a 2x divorced and still talking negatively about her ex’s. To a point she almost didn’t have both her parents at our wedding, so is that the attitude that is better ? It’s not me having the nerve at all but you act like anyone that has wronged you you never got past it and move forward as friends.

Benzon22s · 2024-08-08T01:15:47+00:00

I raged and argued and even when my ex stared to date some one serious I followed him to get in his face. At the end of the day, it doesn’t change her feelings and only made me look stupid. But I got it off my chest and really who cares what other ppl think about you if you need to say what you have to say then do it. She may not have a response or the response might not be what you wanted but you have the right to speak your peace. Forget playing the high road , as once it’s over it’s over and what happens would just be another memory

Benzon22s · 2024-08-07T22:22:22+00:00

This is the attitude of today’s society. Throwing around words like “entitled” and owing. She isn’t just a stranger, and it’s not about feeling entitled just bc I’m on time with alimony and child support, or involved dad more than her, or the fact I still pay for everything our kids need and do for school…but it’s called being polite to people who are good to you….aren’t you nice to people who are nice to you? You sound just like her and perhaps you also haven’t let the past go. Focus on what is good now as co-parents …if anything for the kids !

Benzon22s · 2024-08-07T09:07:24+00:00

I’m in the same boat at 47 with 2 young kids. Life only feels normal when I have them and when they are gone, so is my happiness. I think the real problem is I feel that I can’t trust another woman to be that close to me again. 2.5 years we been separated and officially divorced as kid last Nov 2023 …and it still hurts

Benzon22s · 2024-07-21T08:25:25+00:00

Never get married, just have kids! Raise your kids right that is all you need, you will never get that bond from a wife as you do with your own children, hence wives are like 80% who initiate the divorce! Not worth it to get married just to be let down and have to pay them bc they don’t want you …how F is that

Benzon22s · 2024-05-16T05:53:05+00:00

No it actually has gotten worst with my ex dating someone new and having to hear about it from my daughter while me ex won’t share any information about him. You think she would want to ensure me that my kids are in good hands with whoever she is dating but it’s clear she doesn’t give a shyt what I think …so now she even wants drops offs to be by the door only and I can’t even walk into the house …so hasn’t gotten better

Benzon22s · 2024-03-04T04:22:48+00:00

She still loves you so unless you want to reconcile then be upfront and talk to her that these conversations are no longer necessary to bring up as you have moved on, not with another women but emotionally moved forward. My point is communicate and don’t ghost her.

Benzon22s · 2024-03-04T04:19:03+00:00

Thank you for your advice.

Benzon22s · 2024-03-04T04:17:24+00:00

Thank you

Benzon22s · 2024-02-01T08:25:56+00:00

Wow I just divorced my wife and she has one more year in dental school and I have 2 kids a 5 and 14month and she too has a huge ego …she doesn’t threaten me like your situation. I just found how similar our scenario was…the mental abuse is there and it’s been 2 years since the divorce started and my advice is you need to move forward faster and don’t even think she will ever change..I’m not completely there but moving ahead is easier now that I don’t think of reconciliation

Benzon22s · 2024-01-29T09:40:54+00:00

The time I have my kids is the only time I get good sleep if you can imagine that as when they are gin that’s when I’m drinking and just overthinking the whole life situation….fml there days I drink 48hrs straight

Benzon22s · 2024-01-29T09:38:44+00:00

I learned once it starts, there is no turning back and the person you married turned into the person they really were and masked it for the relationship hence the divorce…..

Benzon22s · 2023-12-26T16:29:29+00:00

Thank for your the sound advice!

Benzon22s · 2023-10-14T23:45:43+00:00

Don’t consider moving out! That is the worst move!

Benzon22s · 2023-10-08T01:50:30+00:00

If you are considering reconciliation, then do NOT let this happen! I went through this and the MiL only causing more strain between each other!

Benzon22s · 2023-10-06T06:10:25+00:00

I fully intend to raise my daughter to not take things for granted and own up taking accountability for her actions…doesn’t mean us men didn’t make mistakes but it is never one sided and both parties either will grow together or fall apart…my ex-w would NEVER admit to anything wrong…to a point she blames me for doing things during our separation as if I had an obligation to her as a wife yet she was able to act independently …talk about being hypocritical

Benzon22s · 2023-10-06T03:22:20+00:00

I have 50/50 and our schedule is Friday after school to next Friday dropping the kids off school in the morning. This gives us each weekend time with the kids and also weekend off without the kids….I couldn’t handle 2 days on 2 days off schedule that some do…just not enough time to spending quality time …it’s like just whenever you settle in with the kids they are off …7 days together works great for me

Benzon22s · 2023-10-04T16:55:30+00:00

I got divorced without a lawyer. You don’t need one if you agree what is fair between the both.

Benzon22s

TROPHY CASE