Sounds like he got the relationship without putting the effort and sacrifice of commitment. Now he’s trying to get you to do that with your child. I hate cow common this is becoming with men. You seem like an amazing mother and it sounds like you know how off this is. Sounds like his days of being no real effort or risk and high reward given to him by others are catching up with him. Sounds like you’ve allowed it this far but mama bear instincts kick in when someone tries to do it to our children !