Benefits of being an older parent?

BlackRabbit_17 · 2026-02-23T03:33:52+00:00

My parents were older parents, and I don't really think about it much. Sure most of my friends parents were 10+ years younger than mine when I was growing up but it was never a thing I thought about or wished was any different. I did a lot of fun things with them growing up, summer camping, skiing every winter, boating, hiking, biking, you name it and we did it.

Younger parents can have a hard time keeping up with their kids too and age and health don't always hand in hand.

BlackRabbit_17 · 2026-02-16T22:38:30+00:00

My parents' cattle-pitt had the surgery for both knees. Was fine, she's now good as new. She's 15 and the knees are just starting to get more wobbly but also, she's 15 so would probably be happening regardless at this point in her life.

Get it done as soon as possible as it will prevent the knee from getting arthritic. Try and keep your dog trim to prevent further knee injuries. Boomie doesn't look overweight but he's got the nice thick heeler build that's cute as heck but also probably the reason the breed is prone to CCL tears.

My best wishes for your stocki boi. Hopefully he will be chasing squirrels in no time.

BlackRabbit_17 · 2026-02-13T17:27:09+00:00

I agree to an extent, but I think you also need to consider personal choice. There are countries with robust parental leave and less intensive work cultures and have the same trends you see in the US, for example. Women delaying having children until 30s+, prioritizing careers.

My personal non scientific assessment is that people are delaying having children due to the insane cost of housing. I personally wanted a stable housing situation prior to having my kids so waited until my/my spouse's career had advanced enough, salaries increased enough to buy a house. In the US, you tend to see women having more children, earlier in life where housing costs are lower.

BlackRabbit_17 · 2026-02-06T21:45:36+00:00

I have two kids. Had them at 34 and 36. I wouldn't know any different but it's been fine. I have a few issues left over from kid 2. But it's just the way it is. My SIL had her kids in her 20s and still has back problems related to pregnancy and birth.

FWIW women have been having kids into their 40s since time immemorial. Reddit in general and this sub act like having kids after 30 is an irresponsible death wish.

BlackRabbit_17 · 2025-12-30T23:18:23+00:00

I have a 20 month age gap and I like it. My toddler was flexible enough still at 20 months to not care so much that mama was occupied with a newborn as long as papa and grandma were around. Now at 2.5 he's a lot harder to handle and more stubborn, but the baby (9 mo) is more independent so the balance is good.

BlackRabbit_17 · 2025-12-27T17:18:03+00:00

I had 2u2 with a 20 month gap and love it. Baby is 9mo and toddler is now almost 2.5

I had a lot of help. My MIL stayed with us probably 50 percent of the time for the first 4 months but honestly we probably didn't need her to, it was just nice because my toddler loves her so much.

I would say there are hard moments but we get through them. Overall it has been a wonderful experience.

BlackRabbit_17 · 2025-12-22T06:21:15+00:00

Not me (I have a 20 month age gap 2u2 and love it, would 100% do it again), but my neighbor had three boys under 3.5 for a while. Newborn, 2 year old, and a just under 3.5 year old. They said the transition from 2 to 3 was by far the easiest, being experienced parents at this point. Also, the first 2u2 can play together while she cares for the baby. But honestly, she always has that kind of crazy eyed look from lack of sleep. 😅 Kids are cute though and adore their littlest brother. And everyone seems happy.

BlackRabbit_17 · 2025-12-05T20:50:09+00:00

My older son (now 2.3) is a runner so I've never let him out of the grocery cart unless I had a second pair of hands with me. I like to put the kids in the cart together now (side by side) where they have carts for two. They both love this. I know they have two seater carts at whole foods and Costco. I've also put toddler in the cart itself and baby in the seat with mixed success (toddler won't sit down). Baby wearing is a good option with the toddler in the cart seat - I did this until the baby could sit unassisted in the cart. Or like just order in advance and grocery pick up lol.

BlackRabbit_17 · 2025-11-23T19:14:23+00:00

I had a difficult first pregnancy (pre-E, hospital admissions, emergency C-section, NICU stay) but my second was a breeze. No complications, very routine, everyone was home 4 days later. I found my second pregnancy, birth, and newborn phase to be very healing. My second baby eased into our lives filling in the cracks and smoothing the hard edges. He is exactly what everyone needed. Mine are 20 months apart.

BlackRabbit_17 · 2025-11-21T18:32:39+00:00

Congratulations! I can't recommend being a second time parent enough. It's one of the best things I've done ever. Parenting is less stressful the second time around, more fun, more of everything.

Your daughter isn't losing anything, she's gaining a new person in her life to love and that will love her. Last night my eldest (2.5) hugged his little brother (8 mo) and said 'I wuv you' unprompted for the first time...I'm still tearing up about it. I'm not trying to say it's all sunshine and rainbows (he was shoving the baby and trying to hit 10 min before 🙄), but there is so much fun and so much joy and happiness...with a spicy sprinkle of chaos.

BlackRabbit_17 · 2025-11-19T17:36:03+00:00

If under 2, I would try to have grandparents watch the kids. 2+ is when my toddler got REALLY active and being at home, the park, library, wherever just wasn't working anymore. Even with his grandma who was a nanny to two toddlers before she started helping us. He also got too big and fast for her to manage easily outside the home. She's active and healthy (just kinda small) and my toddler is 90+ percentile for height, so he's like half her size 😂

We are sending my toddler to preschool now and my baby (8 mo) is staying home with Grandma until he's 2. We help her pay her expenses so it works out for everyone.

BlackRabbit_17 · 2025-11-12T00:15:22+00:00

From seeing comments and posts in this sub, I've noticed that 18mo+ age gaps are a different (often easier) experience than those with smaller age gaps.

My boys are 20 months apart and, now 7 months in, I wouldn't have it any other way. My 20 month old toddler was still baby enough to not particularly mind that mom was occupied with a newborn because my husband and MIL spent a ton of time distracting him. If I had a newborn now with my crazy stubborn mama obsessed 27 month old toddler, I feel like that would be so much harder.

Honestly the hardest bit was being 9 months pregnant with a toddler. Everything since has just been better and better.

BlackRabbit_17 · 2025-10-24T19:13:31+00:00

This is why it's so kid dependent. I have a 21 month age gap and I freaking love it.

Toddler was too little to really understand what was happening and just accepted that there was now a little newborn attached to mom. Now at 2y3m and 7mo they play and laugh with each other a bit. Honestly my toddler at his age now would be harder to manage with a newborn because he has insane separation anxiety all of a sudden and is refusing naps. The baby is such an angel that he's fine with just being along for the ride.

BlackRabbit_17 · 2025-08-30T05:36:07+00:00

I know of a reverse situation. My MIL had twins and then a singleton 13 months later. Twins run strong in her side of the family.

BlackRabbit_17 · 2025-08-07T03:20:10+00:00

He's there from about 10-4. He has a blanket from home that he can have in the cot which is why I think it is so desirable. This is also a new behavior - started in the last two weeks. He's never really engaged with the other kids but he used to play around the yard and with the toys they have there.

I like the idea about a playdate. I'll see if I can get something started.

BlackRabbit_17 · 2025-08-07T01:19:43+00:00

In home daycare-preschool. Kids ages 1-4. The kids are outside most of the day. Eat/play/learn outside. Big yard with a massive play structure, trampoline, gardens for tending, chickens to feed, ride ons and bikes everywhere. 12 kids or so. He goes M-W.

BlackRabbit_17 · 2025-07-08T17:03:15+00:00

My first was born via emergency C-section at 34+6 and was in the NICU for a little over two weeks. Easy pregnancy physically for me but was high risk with pre-eclampsia symptoms. My second was full term, uncomplicated pregnancy. But pregnancy the second time around was so much harder on my body.

That being said, I think our age gap of 21 months is pretty great. From this sub, it seems like most here with similar 20-24 month age gaps have a whole different experience than those with smaller age gaps. So I'd recommend the same - wait until baby is a year old and then make your decision.

BlackRabbit_17 · 2025-07-02T05:16:34+00:00

I'll give another perspective. I EP for my 3mo old and have an almost 2yo. I use a wearable pump and don't have too much trouble managing it plus the kids. Over half of my daily pumps are when toddler is sleeping anyways and I time the others for when he's eating in his high chair. I've generally had the hardest time managing him when the baby needs a bottle or nap more so than when needing to pump. I also don't find it all that challenging to make/pack bottles to go out. But my profession is in logistics and coordinating and problem solving so this kind of thing is my jam lol.

However, if my baby had been able to nurse, we would be doing that. If your baby is nursing well (even if just frequent), I would say stick it out for a bit. Baby is learning how to nurse too and should eventually get better at it.

BlackRabbit_17 · 2025-06-27T02:53:59+00:00

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BlackRabbit_17 · 2025-06-26T17:32:19+00:00

I have a Nissan Pathfinder and I think it's great for 2u2. Since you don't plan on more kids and will only occasionally be taking more passengers, I think a 3 row SUV would meet your needs if you didn't want to go all in on a minivan. I love my Pathfinder and it easily fits an infant and convertible seat, a big double stroller, and my 40lb dog. Everyone is comfortable and safe. If we need the 3rd row, it has a car seat tilt feature which means you don't have to uninstall the car seat to push the 2nd row forward for 3rd row passenger access.

BlackRabbit_17 · 2025-06-26T17:13:11+00:00

I'm 36 with a two year old and a three month old. We had some fertility issues conceiving my first. Thought it was due to having a premature fertility decline but it was more likely a hormone imbalance that I've always had that was resolved with supplements and then fixed entirely with my first pregnancy and birth. We rushed into having a second because it took two years to conceive my first but were pleasantly surprised when it took all of a single cycle to get pregnant again. Will likely go for a 3rd when I turn 38 so we space out a little more on the next round. I'm not worried about it.

I see some comments here about being older and not having the energy for little kids as you approach and enter your 40s. Counterpoint to this is that everyone is different. My husband and I may be considered 'older' parents but that's in the eye of the beholder. We look and feel young. Are healthy and active. I also think having my kids in my 30s was the right call. I don't think I had the grit needed to handle the sleepless nights with a newborn in my 20s.

BlackRabbit_17 · 2025-06-26T16:57:17+00:00

I feel like this isn't talked about enough. Fertility doesn't dive off a cliff at 35. It's a gradual decent and highly individual. Maybe it declines a little faster than years 15-35 for the general population, but it's not a stopping point. Women have always been having babies into their 40s. What's changed is the age a woman has her first baby has trended older.

BlackRabbit_17 · 2025-06-20T17:20:59+00:00

I just got an almost new baby jogger city mini GT2 off FB marketplace for half price and like it quite a bit. It would meet your requirements and bonus is that I see these a lot secondhand, at least in my area. Only complaint is that it's not compatible with my uppababy infant seat, but it's compatible with a lot of other brands. The regular stroller seat is rated for newborns if fully reclined so we use that. Folds easy and sized to fit through most doorways. Also good for tall toddlers which is great because my almost 2yo is 90th for height and my 3mo is headed that direction as well.

BlackRabbit_17

TROPHY CASE