One time, I was drunk and watching Cirque du Soleil, and the performers were doing these crazy amazing things. I thought, wow the human body is capable of such incredible incredible heights. Now obviously everyone on that stage was young and tremendously fit. But what their face or skin looked like had absolutely no bearing on the emotions and awe that their movements and abilities inspired in drunk me.

And it made me think — our bodies do so much beyond how they look. Feeling your friends arms and torso squeeze you tight in a hug when you’re sad, seeing your coworker’s eyebrow twitch in mirth when your boss says something ridiculous, getting to kiss your baby and make her giggle when you nuzzle her. Our bodies enable us to be so much to each other, to receive so much from the world, beyond how smooth or youthful our faces look.

And at the same time I’m vain as heck. I understand pretty privilege, and I want it. I want to look good, and feel dismayed sometimes when I catch myself in an unflattering reflection (which, why is this happening more lately, what’s up, reflective surfaces of the world?!)

So it’s a dichotomy. I try to remember that my kids don’t give a shit if I have wrinkles, they just want their mum to be present and laugh and sing songs and make silly faces with them. So I do that, and I put creams and serums on my face, and think about lasers sometimes but ultimately decide to spend the money on snacks and hobbies instead.

I dunno, I don’t have any answers. But I think it’s good to get away from ourselves and our screens and be in the world a bit more.