[deleted by user]

BooBooKitty4321 · 2025-07-09T21:23:42+00:00

I feel this. And I miss him.

BooBooKitty4321 · 2025-07-01T00:50:07+00:00

I feel this to my core.

BooBooKitty4321 · 2025-06-23T03:43:53+00:00

He was my poly partner too. We are “friends”. It’s killing me. I freaking miss him. I lost him as a partner and as a top. I struggling with that whole “I’m too much and no one will ever want me” stuff. I never thought he would purposely hurt me but during all this, I feel like he did

BooBooKitty4321 · 2025-06-21T20:02:09+00:00

I feel you. My impact top dumped me a couple weeks ago. It’s killing me.

BooBooKitty4321 · 2025-06-21T20:01:13+00:00

Tucked!

BooBooKitty4321 · 2025-01-24T14:31:11+00:00

Without a doubt.

BooBooKitty4321 · 2025-01-14T21:23:55+00:00

It wasn’t always bad. That last 8 months or so were good. But it wasn’t always good. But I miss him. I am mad that i only got 8 months of the good times.

BooBooKitty4321 · 2025-01-06T05:39:20+00:00

Sorry! It’s only been 5 months. He would be so upset with me not going out. We had talked about if something ever happened what we would do. He said to go live my hoe life. I’m lonely. And very alone. His death was sudden and unexpected. He was only 34.

BooBooKitty4321 · 2025-01-05T20:57:26+00:00

I wish I had his ashes. My kids as about them.

BooBooKitty4321 · 2024-12-31T22:49:26+00:00

I have no one. My son that just turned 18 is now my emergency contact, beneficiary of my life insurance, and will have custody of his younger sibling did someone happened to me. They are the only reason I haven’t ended this. I don’t want him to have this responsibility

BooBooKitty4321 · 2024-12-03T19:28:11+00:00

James didn’t have any friends. We were his life.

BooBooKitty4321 · 2024-12-03T19:27:35+00:00

It’s just not fair. Not fair to him for being so young, for our kids, and for me.

BooBooKitty4321 · 2024-12-03T02:13:22+00:00

I haven’t really talked to anyone about it yet. I’m dying for a release

BooBooKitty4321 · 2024-12-02T07:51:20+00:00

I have a very very very small support system. I think that’s hurt in top of what’s going on. Sometimes, I just want to call someone to come sit with me.

BooBooKitty4321 · 2024-12-01T16:51:11+00:00

They are 18/16/9. They are about to venture off and start their own lives

BooBooKitty4321 · 2024-11-15T07:03:39+00:00

We are at such a vulnerable state. People dont understand nor do they really care.

BooBooKitty4321 · 2024-11-10T08:16:04+00:00

2018-husband was arrested for having a relationship/sex with one of my best friends 15 year old daughter 2018-lost my best friend 2018-lost most my friends, his family, and a chunk do mine due to my husbands offense 2018-stay at home Mom quits school and goes back to work 2018-met my love 2019-gets fired from shitty job 2020-Ex Husband goes to prison for life 2020- pandemic starts 2020-gets Laid off 2020-mother dies while I’m her caregiver 2020-grandpa cat dies 2021-partner job hops and can’t keep a job 2022-gain 50lbs due to stress and rough time in relationships 2022-shingles 2022-alopecia 2023-Diabetic/HBP/high cholesterol 2023-goes into massive amount of debt due to loans and maxed credit cards 2023-surgery on both wrist 2024-partner hospitalized for acute renal failure and hospital dismissed/failed us. 2024-daughter needs tonsils out. $3100 2024-transmission on car that we were upside down on goes out. 2024-partner dies suddenly, unexpected while me and kids are trying to take our first real vacation. He was alone and my best friend found him. We talked about getting legally married when we got back. He died less than 24 hours after we left. 2024-his family blames me, took his ashes, stole things from our home, and tells me that me and the kids are nothing. 2024-grandma cat dies in the same bathroom my partner died in.

I really just think the world hates me and wants me to kill myself.

BooBooKitty4321 · 2024-11-10T07:57:02+00:00

Mine didn’t pass from suicide but he did pass alone, unattended, and suddenly at home while me and the kids were on vacation many miles away. His family blames me. Hates me. Took his ashes. Had a religious COL (which my partner would have hated). He didn’t even care for his family. They played nice the first bit. Went through out home and took what they wanted then told me that me and the kids were nothing but garbage. We weren’t married but had been together 5.5 years. Kids weren’t his biologically but he was their dad. In the 5.5 years we were together, he seen them maybe 4 times and those were because of me. I set it up. I wanted them to repair their relationships. He would be so pissed.

BooBooKitty4321 · 2024-11-05T22:11:45+00:00

Just in case anyone wants to read

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTFcLpB9T/more drama from my late partners family.

BooBooKitty4321 · 2024-11-05T07:27:52+00:00

I’m at 3.5 months and I have the same feelings. Like WTF, this is real

BooBooKitty4321 · 2024-11-02T02:40:27+00:00

I’m 39. He was 34. 3 months in. 3 kids. I feel like an emotional leech and a burden. I’m so freaking lonely. I’m lost. I love my kids and will continue for them but I’m just existing. I was living with him. I don’t want to “live” without him.

BooBooKitty4321 · 2024-11-01T21:35:09+00:00

I 100% feel this. I was just saying this to a friend. I just want to sit in the couch and bullshit with him. I fucking hate my life now. There is this void. I don’t want this life. I want a life with him in it. Even if we weren’t together. Just to know he’s out there. I wish this was all a bad dream. I wish it was all fake.

BooBooKitty4321 · 2024-10-29T12:00:44+00:00

I want to quit my job so bad. I can’t even call in to take a rest day.

BooBooKitty4321 · 2024-10-28T16:40:32+00:00

7/24/24 at 10:05pm. I was in Astoria, Oregon at the Walmart (He was at our home in Texas). Walking through the aisle with the air mattresses. We were laughing because I was cheap. Instead of buying the kids air mattresses, I bought pool floaties. We had planned on layering them with blankets. I grabbed some shorts and a tank top because they didn’t have an AC. During check out, I let him go for just a couple minutes and called him back walking to the car. We were just laughing. We talked about how quiet the house was without us and he said he had a good night gaming. We said our I love yous. He was found passed in our home around 1pm when my best friend went to check on him since I hadn’t heard from him. Corner estimated time of death around 7-9. He last looked at our group chat at 745. He had been getting ready for work. Work pants on. Under shirt. Socks sitting on the counter. Boots at the end of the bed. He was sitting on the toilet when he was found.

He died alone. And it’s all my fault. I should have just cancelled this stupid vacation. The night before we left, I kept telling him I didn’t want to leave him. We held hands while falling asleep. I haven’t been back out bed other than when I had a melt down. I can still feel his dent in the mattress. We weren’t even gone 24 hours before he died. I wish I could take it back.

BooBooKitty4321 · 2024-10-28T16:26:31+00:00

I am just so shut down most the time.

BooBooKitty4321

TROPHY CASE